A/N: So much time has passed since I've been on this site
I'd forgotten about this story until i started writing again, and figured it would be good for me if i actually finished this. I wont waste time talking about random things lol.
This chapter is kind of srs businesses. The beginning is written like the other chapters, in Kai's journal type writing. But after the line break it goes into first person point of view. I didn't really edit it too much, so I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sence. ALSO this chapter has a lemon/lime, it's my first so i'm sorry if its crap lol.
Warning: Yaoi, Lemon, lime, mature etc.
Confessions of Kai Hiwatari
Sunday, July 30th
3:00 PM
I looked at the shitty hotel that stood before me. Now I know everyone is aware that I enjoy sex just about anywhere, and that I would do a lot of things for Tala. But this place was just cheap. I wasn't sure when Tala had called me what his motives were, or if I would be getting any at all. But to be honest, we'd been here before. Any doubt in the situation had been absolved. Although I should have guessed, the sex god is a sex god after all. The name wasn't just based on his looks, but his ability to be a god... at sex.
I looked back down at the slip of paper I'd messily written the address on before I'd run out of the team's hotel room. Leaving without answering the questions of the little children and mother Rei. This was the place; I smiled a bit, shaking my head as I made my way through the little parking lot. Coming up the stairs I flipped my collar up, rubbing my hands together as I scanned the door numbers.
178, 179, 180... 181. God.
I stood for a second before knocking on the door, messing with my hair a little when I heard movement in the room. Was I wearing enough cologne? Oh god, I should have showered before I came here... oh wait I did before church. Good. Oh right, thank you love god, thank you elves.
The door opened and Tala stood. All my thoughts of elves left me. He looked weird; his hair was all feathery and dishevelled like he'd been sleeping. He was wearing a lot of clothes. We both stood for a second just looking at each other; I looked around at the parking lot behind me as if expecting Bryan to be standing there with a shot gun. No such bastard.
"Can I come in? It's cold out here."
Tala smiled faintly, stepping aside and opening the door wider for me, "it's cold in here too"
The room was dark; the only brightness was what natural light that came from the thin old orangey coloured curtains. The light made everything in the room looked warm, but Tala was right, it was freezing. We sat for a little while without saying anything. By the look on his face, I was scared to ask him what was going on first. But it was cold and I really wanted to know what was bothering him. I looked up at his face again, "Tala, I-" I stopped when he looked up at me.
One look from him was enough. I had been feeling like the helpless one between the two of us for a while now. Tala had had an advantage on me since I'd come back to Russia. But this was different, I'd forgotten this was how it really is, I was the strong on in our relationship, like how it used to be. But I wasn't sure if this is the situation I was really hoping for.
I stood immediately, walking over to where he was and put my arm around his shoulders. Placing the other on his head and lowering my face close to him. "Tell me" I whispered quietly. I could feel him grasp the front of my shirt with his hands, "I want to know."
I could feel him tense up in my arms, he was holding his breath. I lowered my head to rest on top of his, and pulled him closer to me. I wanted to make him understand that I wanted him, that he could tell me anything, because I was the only person who cared about him like this. He tightened his grip on me. I searched for something to say to make him trust me, like he use to.
I was worried it was the wrong thing to say, I'd said it to him a thousand times before. But I didn't know if he stilled liked to hear it. I kept motionless, my head still resting on his, "I love you". There was a second of silence before Tala took in a sharp shuddered breath and began to cry. It was too nostalgic, this exact situation. Me holding him as he cried like a child, like after someone had punished him at the abbey.
I didn't speak as he continued to sob into my shirt; I knew he didn't want to talk about whatever had happened. It didn't take much to guess why he had called me to come see him. All this was going back to when we were young, this kind of comfort. His cold hands let go of my shirt and grazed my neck softly, clasping together behind my head to keep me from moving away. I wasn't going anywhere.
I lowered my face besides his, brushing my check against his, our mouths slightly touching. I stayed there for a second with anticipation. My chest was tight, I felt homesick for the past. When we were young, I'd never wanted to pressure him into doing anything when he was upset. But I knew whenever he got like this, he always wanted it from me. He tipped his head upwards towards me, turning his eyes away self-consciously before closing them. Both of us seemed unsure if it was right to do this ritual from the past.
I wasn't. I put my lips to Tala's, my hand under his chin to keep him still. The small satisfied sound from his throat edging me on. He kissed me back, harder. I took hold of Tala roughly, threading my fingers through his hair and kicking the chair out from beneath him. Tala could tell me what happened when he was ready, I could wait for that. But this was something I had been waiting for, for way to long now. Tala immediately complied, pulling me down over top of him as put him beneath me on the floor. He moved his hands to my waist, pushing down as he pressed up into me, his thighs against my hips.
I pushed his hands aside, pulling his shirt off quickly and pinning his hands above his head as soon as I threw it away. I lowered my head, my breathing had already become erratic. I bit my lip as I grinded against him roughly. I was already losing it, I thought. I put my mouth against his neck, leaving deep red bruises on his skin.
Tala laid beneath me breathing deeply, tears still on his face. "I love you, I love you." Repeated as I kissed him, he put his hands around my neck and pulled me up to him, kissing my face hastily, "you're the one, Kai, I -"
I pinned his hands above his head again, kissing his mouth to keep him from saying anymore. It felt amazing to hear him say everything I've been wanting to hear for since I came back. It was driving me crazy. But we could talk later.
It didn't make much sense, but it was always like this. He would come to me for comfort after being abused and I would want to be gentle with him. But it would always turn out this way. I assumed it was how he liked it so I eventually got accustom to skipping over the nice stuff. It was a waste of time if we both only liked it when I treated him like shit.
It had been so long since we had done this; it seemed like a shame to rush through it. But to be honest I don't think either of us cared how or where it happened. I undid his belt, skilfully pulling it from his jeans and using it to keep his wrists together, an evocative tradition between us. I took my own shirt off as an afterthought before moving myself down so I could undo his jeans. He arched his back, raising himself as I wrenched them off. I paused, looking at his naked body beneath me, he bit his lip and turned his head when I raised an eyebrow. I felt myself smirk, he was just as bad as I was. It had only taken a few seconds together to get off.
I lowered my mouth to him, putting my hands on his thighs to keep him from moving up. My chest tightening at the little gasp's he made while I teasingly got him off. Taking him all in, only to stop and begin to lick him lightly. He placed his bound hands to my head as he tried to push his hips up for more, grasping my hair when I continued to keep them down. He moaned in frustration, breathing heavily as his back arched. He wouldn't take much more of this. I continued to abuse him as I took one hand to undo my belt, button and fly. Looked up as I took it out, he wasn't even paying attention. I stopped and kissed his hipbone, biting the skin and lightly licking to bruised mark that was left.
A small smile cracked as he gave an objecting noise, putting pressure against me with his thighs. "Kai, just do it" he groaned, he was already out of breath too. He put his bound hands behind my neck, pulling me up, and kissing me. Bringing his hands down to touch my dick, putting against his own while he continued to kiss me. I backed up a bit, putting my hands underneath his bent knees and pushed him up.
He put his hands above his head again and tipped his head back, sighing. Like a weight was off his chest, now he that he knew I was willing to go back to the way we were. This wasn't a game to him, it never had been. That was just the way Tala acted when he was scared. I had thought I had the disadvantage, when really, this whole time it had been him who thought he had fucked up. This was something we'd both been waiting for.
A/N: God. I'm sorry this chapter was so diffrent from the rest, i just coulden't bring my self to making this chapter into a comdey lol. I'm sorry if this chapter is messy, I didn't want to put off updating anymore... I'm not sure if i want to finish the lemon in the next chapter, thats why I left it at that point. Also, i wanted to keep Tala and Kai's talk until after i got a little feed back.
Review please!