You thought I was done with Xenoverse? That was just the story! I haven't even touched the parallel quests yet!
I keep running into the same issue where my AI teammates don't do anything except revive fallen teammates, and randomly interrupt my combos. I tested, amd found out I actually complete certain Parellel quests faster without them.
This is completely unacceptable.
...
Jack is watching the Xenoverse 2 case melt and burn. "And now we're going to talk about multiplayer." Jack said. There's more?!
"I can't play multiplayer." Jack explained. He can't play multiplayer in a multiplayer focused game? "I can't play multiplayer in a multiplayer focused game." Jack said. He played a clip of past Jack attempting to connect to multiplayer. "Why the hell can't I play multiplayer in a multiplayer focused game!" Past Jack yelled.
"I never had this problem on Xenoverse 1." Jack noted. "But on Xenoverse 2, I can't connect for quests." Jack explained. "And it's not just finding random people." Jack noted. "Why aren't you connected?" Past Ellie asked. "It failed to connect." Past Jack answered. "Why?!" Ellie yelled. "I don't know." Jack replied. "I literally cannot connect to any other players." Jack stated.
"So I have to work with the AI." Jack slammed his head on the car. "That is what working with the AI feels like." Jack explained. And Jack filmed a montage of him yelling at his AI teammates. "Goku, stop interrupting my combos!" "Vegeta, why are you so weak?!" "Beerus, DO SOMETHING!" "Black Goku, you're fucking useless!" "Cooler, I will watch you die." "This is why your father died, Trunks." Ok, that was too far.
"The AI is literally incapable of transforming during quests." Jack explained. "Even the enemy AI is not immune. They still use transformations as ultimates." Jack added. "If you don't believe me, use your scouter on any transformed enemy." Jack said.
"For some reason, Goku's entire family hates me." Jack noted. "When Gohan is on my team, he'll either die quickly, or interrupt my combos." Jack explained. "Did they give me Super's Gohan?" Past Jack asked. "When he's on the enemy team, he suddenly turn into a badass." Jack said. "Because the enemy can transform." Jack explained.
"For some reason, the AI will wait around for a chance to fuck up my combos." Jack said. "Goku, go help Vegeta!" Past Jack yelled. Vegeta just died. "Oh no! If only I did what need to be done sooner!" Goku exclaimed. "You fucking dumbass." Jack said.
"They programmed the AI to be less agressive when multiple people lock onto a target." Jack explained. "Apparently, this affects them when they're both locked on to the same target." Jack noted. "This only affects the enemy if more than three of them lock onto one guy." Jack said.
"Why is the useless AI a problem?" Jack asked. "Because I can complete some quests solo faster than I do with a team." Jack answered. "Yes, your teammates are holding you back." Jack said.
"Here's where the problem gets ridiculous." Jack warned. "In the Expert missions, you have to play with FIVE broken AIs." Jack explained. "You can end up with five mind controlled allies trying to jump you because the AI doesn't know how to dodge." Jack said. "Since I can't play multiplayer, I have to work with those five useless AI." Jack said.
"It gets worse when enemies get the ability to automatically dodge melee attacks." Jack noted. Why would they even include that? "You can't hit them unless you spam Ki blasts, which the AI rarely does." Jack explained. "THEY IMPLEMENTED EVEN MORE BROKEN SMASH ARMOR!" Jack screamed.
"Whoever programmed the AI in Xenoverse 2 needs to be fired." Jack declared. "They were payed to create functional AI, and we got some half-assed trash that only works in the early levels." Jack ranted. "I can't keep play Xenoverse if the game isn't functioning." Or if it's disk is on fire.