Previously in Chapter 13 – Blair and Dan decide to come out with their friendship.
This is the kiss chapter! It took 13 chapters to get here, but trust me it's worth it. Young readers, this story will venture into speculation territory and M territory. Please don't read if you're under aged.
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Dan leaned against the bar at the Empire. Another day, another Chuck Bass event. He tapped his glass of scotch against the marbled surface of the bar, making a dull clinking sound. Though, this one was suppose to be different. This was the event that they were suppose to out their not-at-all-compelling friendship to their friends and peers. He saw the Gossip Girl blast already about the big news coming out, so he assumed that Blair was already executing phase 1 of their plan. When he saw her deep in conversation with Serena, he sauntered over, confident that the whole reveal was working according to plan. But that was before he noticed the expression on Serena's face. His ex girlfriend looked like she was on the verge of cracking and Blair reassured him that it had nothing to do with them. There were bigger things at play tonight. He just wished knew what those things were. He noticed a slender arm resting on the same bar he was leaning against. Blair.
" Lily turning herself in and it's already on Gossip Girl. Looks like my fake post of big news turned out to be prophetic." Blair kept her voice soft. Being the bearer of this kind of news was never a thankful task. "This is going to hit the Upper East Side like a hurricane."
Dan dropped the glass a few inches to the bar. In all the seeming progress that he and Blair had made in one day was completely thrown out the window. He couldn't help but feel a little selfishly upset, but he always knew the right things to say in times like these, " Serena, Eric, Lily, they're going to need us now more than ever."
"And, not us. Dan and Blair, individual entities, two proper nouns separated by a conjunction." Blair wasn't sure why she was babbling now. Maybe it was because it sounded like Dan was edging into the same logical territory she already marked as destination. She knew this amount of intense family drama for both the Humphreys and the Van Der Woodsens meant no room for more complications. She had no doubt that Humphrey thought along the same lines. Dan needed to be available for his father, for Eric, and for he would play the shoulder to cry on as he had for so many years for Serena yet again. Serena, Blair reminded herself again. Serena was who was important in the whole scheme of things. Her beloved best friend would be going through a hell-storm of publicity and court appearances. The last thing Serena needed was to find something as incongruous in her world as the recently formed Humphrey-Waldorf alliance. Blair would miss him.
"Or a comma," He volleyed back. "if mentioned in a list."
"Which is rare since we have nothing in common and are, in fact, opposites." She gave a tight smile. Blair felt an uncomfortable coldness in her stomach. This conversation felt awful; as if they were shutting the window to something, the tension knotted her stomach.
"The kind of opposites that do not attract." Dan had been deliberating this point all day. Were they really opposites? Or were they paying lip services to the preconceived notions that they now knew to be untrue?
"Most definitely not." She quickly affirmed. Dan was right. They were too different and their pairing would cause inevitably too many problems in the small world in which they lived.
" No." Dan sucked in his upper lip and tried to feel his answer, but his voice sounded hollow.
" The world just wasn't ready for a Humphrey/Waldorf friendship." For a second, Blair didn't want to look at him anymore. He was giving her one of those reassuring expressions and it wasn't something she wanted to see—knowing that she wouldn't be able to see it again anytime soon. He wouldn't be calling for writing advice. He wouldn't be texting her about the latest Tati review at Film Forum. Would he go to eat at Joe's Shanghai by himself? Who would he drink coffee with in the mornings? It wasn't like Humphrey was dying. They just needed to get through these next few months intact. She finally glanced back up at his handsome face. "It's been nice not being friends with you."
He couldn't resist her wordplay and smiled awkwardly. "Yes, Let's not do it again some time." He held out his hand and she shook it firmly.
Their eyes held each other's for a moment. But really, what could they do now?
Dan found Rufus as soon as he could. His father had the calm of someone who was wrapping everything tightly under control. His wife, Lilly, looked surprisingly at ease too. Rufus told him that it would be better if he went home—there was really nothing to be done until the DA arrived to arrest Lilly. Dan walked out of the Empire and thought he might take a long walk, something to clear the mess inside his head. He started south, being a solitary walker on the Brooklyn Bridge sounded perfect right now. Bridges, wonderful structures that brought separated lands together, but his bridge also stood as symbol of the deep separation between his worlds. One part of him was born to Brooklyn, now another part of him was gradually acclimating, even learning to love the UES. It wasn't the location, it was the people that he loved within the blocks above 70th. He thought about Blair's eyes. They were so intelligent, quick and expressive. Did she have a flicker of regret during their friendship concession speech? He could only speculate now. This was block twenty-five away from the Empire and his mind was just as muddled than when he just left the bar.
When was it that he realized that his feelings for her were more than he could process? He couldn't help lingering on the curve of her lip and the apple of her cheeks when she was laughing at him. He wanted her crystal-clear ambitions to push at him, to poke him out of the comfortable zone. He wanted to seek her out, if only to hear her berate his choice of clothing and company. But at least he would be laughing with her.
Did she feels the same way? Ever since she entrusted him with the mission of saving Serena's reputation after Juliet hacked it to bits, their easy camaraderie surprised him—but he always knew that Blair was much deeper than what she appeared.
More than four years ago, he remember Blair sitting in an empty hallway, her dress spilled in a Kelly green pool—more vulnerable than he had seen anyone. Blair's mother had chosen Serena, over her own daughter, as the model for the new Eleanor Waldorf line of teen clothing. Not only had Eleanor chosen Serena, she didn't even bother to tell her own daughter her reasons. All this he overheard as Blair was furiously crying to Serena on the staircase. Blair wasn't the supremely confident Queen B of Constance—far from it.
He knew only slightly then, but now he knew it more than ever, the incredible frustration that came from being coupled with Serena van der Woodsen. She floated easily out of trouble and landed on her feet into success and love; she never needed Blair's determination and ambition but it was Blair who needed love but was never given enough. People and opportunities fell into Serena's lap, and she would coo and pet whatever presents she got and sweetly pass it forward, never realizing the importance of the offers themselves. In the not too distant past, Nate, Blair's then boyfriend, had fallen under the Serena spell and now, Eleanor was offering a modeling career on a platter. Serena didn't understand why Blair was so angry, all Serena wanted was to make things right between them.
He had spoken to her in the hallway, after that fight with Serena. He didn't know if she was listening to him, but after she had laid herself bare and he had seen her so very emotionally naked, he felt that his honesty was the least he could offer.
When he was swept up in Serena, he saw Blair as his girlfriend's best friend, prone to trouble making with Chuck Bass and shallowly ruining other people's lives—his sister's included. For a while, he forgot about the Blair that he saw in the hallway, the girl who would break as soon as he touched her, but would stand defiant to the entire world. For years, he thought Blair and Chuck were molded from the same coin, made out of cold ambition and perversity. People were pawns to be moved out of the way in the game only known to them. Dan didn't have any real interest in being a pawn so he sabotaged them every so often so that he didn't become collateral damage. It was only at Eleanor's dinner that he realized that all was not right with Blair. He noticed Blair standing by herself. She seemed distraught, probably over something Chuck had done.
At the time, Dan had no idea what that something was. Now that he knew that Chuck had traded her for a hotel, he felt sick to his gut. This wasn't even lover's betrayal, it ran something so much deeper than that—Chuck was equal parts sadism and venality and for that, Blair would always suffer with him. Even though Dan gently told her that she wasn't "all terrible," he thought he had done his job he reassured her that no two people belonged together more than she and Chuck. Blair and Chuck, Chuck and Blair, cut from the same cloth. At least he thought that was true. Dan wished that he could have shut his stupid mouth. He was so wrong about Blair.
Now, he knew better. Blair was better than Chuck. Blair was all the ambition and arrogance that drove Chuck to try to run a billion dollar company blindly at the age of 20, but she was so much more. Her love and loyalty ran unmovable and rooted like an ancient tree for her family and friends. Even for someone like Chuck, who debased her and used her, her love didn't stop. The courage of her conviction kept her going. He saw her strength but he knew that sometimes, she was so very tired of being the one that held on, the one that supported her world and the mess of people underneath her shoulders. Maybe he could help. He had been helping, hadn't he?
Why did she love that bastard? Dan turned onto Park Avenue and his legs started taking him uptown. When did it start mattering to him that Blair seemed to love Chuck with her infinite supply of patience and caring? Chuck certainly didn't deserve it. To trade the woman he loved for the legacy of his father. Dan didn't even want to get into the Freudian implications. He looked up and realized that he was standing directly in front of Blair's penthouse.
He thought about what to do. Could he stride up the staircase and demand why she loved Chuck? No, that didn't make sense. Why did he want to know about Blair's feelings for her ex? He shoved a hand deep inside his pant pocket and rocked on his heels. He imagined himself going up the staircase and as the elevator door opened, she might be there, standing in her silk robe. She might frown and ask what he was doing in her penthouse in the middle of the night and his mouth would go dry.
He would unload the thoughts that were whipping around his mind. The same thought over and over again. What if his father and Dorota were right. How could he, Dan Humphrey, borough boy, be infatuated with the ultimate Park Avenue princess? Four years ago, the thought would have made him recoil—but now, four years later, he wanted to know the answer. He would talk it out with Blair, his friend, and it would all make sense again.
He would walk to her, giving her no room for retreat and inhale the sweet air that always hung around her, and his hand would reach out, confirm her closeness before he would speak. He needed to choose his words carefully—this was Blair Waldorf, the girl denied their friendship even as she was running to his door for the last few months. But, did she really deny him? Even though she didn't want to admit their friendship in public, Blair determination to see him under the guise of mutual interest in films and art made him chuckle. Her plans were often Blair-bizarrely complicated schemes where he had to duck behind hot dog vendors until she decided the clearing was safe. As soon as she relaxed though, what gold Daniel found.
Was he actually going to walk through those doors and ask Blair Waldorf for a kiss? This was beyond preposterous when he began to think about it out of context. Blair was in love with Chuck. His heart was trampled flat by Serena—maybe he just needed to feel something again. It was different though, with Blair. He had no illusions about her conniving nature, he knew that she would do whatever it took to stay on top, but he knew that once she drew the protection of her friendship around someone, they would never feel the winter without her. He was still deep in thought when the elevator door opened. He saw her rounding the staircase softly.
"What are you doing here?" She hadn't changed out of the party dress as he had expected. Instead of being annoyed as he thought she would be, her beautiful face was soft and inquiring. Maybe he could do this.
"I don't know. Is Serena here?" The last thing Dan wanted was to be reminded of his ex when he only wanted to know what the girl in front of him was thinking.
"No." Her heart shrank back. Was he here to see Serena again? How did he already know about Ben? Blair had been thinking about Dan. Right before she exited the party, her eyes lingered on him when she told him that the world wasn't ready for their friendship—and the illogical parts of her cried for him to ignore what she was saying for the good of their friends and family. Instead, he looked saddened but understanding. Why did Dan always have to understand?
She had paced around her bedroom, replaying their last few weeks together. Right before she left with Humphrey to Connecticut, she was still soaked through with desire for Chuck. She had told him that they both needed time to grow, but Serena's accident pushed Chuck back into her life. And when Chuck was back in her life, Blair ached for the missing pieces of herself that he took with her. Humphrey had distracted her. At least she thought so. Somehow, that curly mop of hair began to signify different things to her. Her heart would lift as soon as he stepped into her view—she didn't know when she started to feel the lightness in her step when he was verbally jousting with her, but she felt like she couldn't go a day without talking to him. He was always so sane, able to talk her down from the highest points of agitation, and he did it all without manipulations. He was a student of truth and honesty and never sugarcoated his cutting wit or high moral ground. His easy smile and sense of humor was keeping her afloat these days.
"What's going on? Is everything ok?" Blair softened her voice, maybe it had nothing to do with Dan and Serena 4 Ever. She hoped that it was just Lilly's situation that brought him to her, she couldn't handle dealing with a lovesick Dan, pining after the one woman that would always be her best friend and her worst enemy.
"I've been walking around the city all night with one all consuming, paralyzing thought." He took his hand out of his pocket and walked closer to her.
"Why am I walking around the city when I live in Brooklyn?" Blair jokingly lifted her eyebrows.
"What if my dad and Dorota were right, what if it was another reason we're keeping us a secret?"
"Another reason like what?" Blair felt rooted to where she was standing; all the air seemed to have left the room.
"Plausible deniability, Blair? We kept us a secret because we were afraid that there was something more." He kept walking closer to her and was only an arm's length away. She didn't recognize this Dan Humphrey, not her friend who was jovial and funny, but one who had a hard gaze that didn't flinch from her face. He wanted something and Blair was deathly afraid to give in to him.
"You need to go back to Brooklyn." She said weakly.
"Not until I know, for sure, that they were wrong—that there is nothing between us." He came to a standstill in front of her.
"I can guarantee it." Her answer came out quick and evasive.
Dan didn't seem to be listening to her. Instead, his eyes left her face and followed his left hand as it seemed to reach for her shoulder with its own accord. He seemed mesmerized by the skin there, and while he was hesitant, his thumb rubbed her skin and pushed the straps of her dress back, keeping her intact. While her dress was intact, Blair certainly wasn't.
Her eyes closed for a brief second when his hand made contact with her skin and when she opened them again, she followed the motions of his hand. They both looked down at his hand on her shoulder. His skin felt hot and dry on top of her shoulder and she glanced back at him, completely unsure.
"But, just so that you're secure in that knowledge, what did you have in mind?" He was still holding on her to her arm as she tried to respond coherently.
"Just one kiss, then we can know without a doubt."
Blair's eyes searched his brown eyes, which were now burning with heat that she had never seen before. Could she have missed it during all these months? His face was less than a foot away and she started to notice details about him, the shape of his jaw, the slight five o'clock shadow that was starting to appear along his face giving him a slightly roguish air. His eyes though, she couldn't tear herself away from them. She didn't want to ever stop feeling the way that she felt now when he looked at her, burning bright and deep.
"I suppose that would work. One kiss and that's that." Blair felt that someone else had spoken those words for her. Her voice was so soft that Dan barely heard her.
"One kiss and that's that."
He broke off the eye contact first. He had a moment of shock that he concealed beautifully but couldn't while looking in her eyes. Her face was so expectant. Who was this Blair, standing in front of him, agreeing to his proposal? He had replayed this scene over and over again, but he never prepared for Blair if she said yes.
"So?"
"So." She tried to shrug nonchalantly. Her mouth was already beginning to feel dry and she nervously cleared her throat, her eyes still searching his face and gave him a small smile.
He let out a deep breath and she saw his eyes drift towards her lips, which had parted slightly in anticipation, and in the agonizing eight seconds that he was still readying his courage, she couldn't wait anymore.
"Oh, for crying out loud Humphrey." Blair grabbed his collar and pulled him towards her. He landed on her lips, jolting at the first contact, but then his arms wrapped around her slender waist, drawing her towards his body. God, she was everything he had been thinking about but didn't admit to needing. Her lips were soft and pliable under his mouth and she tasted so sweet. How a person could taste sweet, he would never know. He almost groaned into her mouth as she moved in even closer, trying to push their bodies together as she wrapped her arms around his neck. The feel of her against him was all softness and there was no way he would ever let her go, now or for eternity. Suddenly, the gentle way their lips moved against each other wasn't enough, he wanted more. His hand moved up from her waist to cup the back of her head, and he gently parted her lips with his tongue.
Blair was helpless. None of her kisses with anyone else tasted, felt, or started the slow burn of her desire like this. What she thought was going to a small spark was then hit with a giant dose of gasoline. With Nate, he had been easy and playful—she felt like they were romping whenever they made out. With Chuck, she always felt that it was so wrong that it was right. But Dan felt right, so right. His tongue in her mouth tasted rich and exotic, like a good chocolate, and his hands on her body were so warm, she felt the vise like gripe of his arms and then didn't understand why she had never tried this until now. He was exploring her mouth now and she moved her hands from his neck to tangle her fingers in his curly brown hair. What did he smell like? Some sort of woodsy handmade Brooklyn soap and scotch—whatever it was, she was becoming drunk on it. She deepened the kiss and pressed herself even closer to him. His clothing began to feel rough on her skin, she didn't want his shirt to rub against her chest, she wanted to feel his brown chest hair rubbing roughly against her breasts.
"Sweet, " he whispered. "and so soft."
His lips began to move toward towards her jaw. He planted soft kisses down to her neck and dipped her backwards as he began to nuzzle the hollow at the base of her throat. She was so giddy now and her head was swimming. She bent forward to grab Dan's head and push him into her bosom. She wanted to feel his hot mouth at her nipples, his teeth gently tugging at them.
With a dexterity that eluded him when he was clumsily holding her shoulder, he swept his arms under her knees and lift her up, Scarlett O'Hara style, and held her even closer. When Blair's feet left the ground, she felt like he was the only solid thing in this dizzy swaying world. She couldn't stop looking at his lower lip, so full and sensual. When his tongue licked his lips as he looked at her, she couldn't help but laugh.
"Humphrey, I'm not an ice cream cone."
"No, you're definitely better than ice cream."
With renewed urgency, he crushed his mouth against hers with the swift gradation of intensity that made her shake in his arms. What was happening? Was there an earthquake nearby? Blair Waldorf couldn't have just been swept off her feet by Dan Humphrey. How did he have it in him to be so intensely romantic and sensual? She knew him for his brain, but she should have known that such an active mind would create some interesting scenarios.
He carried her to the couch and gently laid her across the width while he relaxed his body against hers. He stopped for a second and brushed his knuckles across her cheek in the low light. They were sandwiched on the couch, thigh against thigh, legs tangled together and he rested on his elbow while he took her in.
"Blair. I think I have feelings for you."
"Nice detective work there, Humphrey. I think Watson's looking for a new boss." She cracked, breaking the tension. Their desires thickened the air and she desperately needed to breathe.
"Waldorf, you say such intriguing things." His finger traced the outline of her lips. "You do have the most beautiful mouth." He paused. "But there always something so unpleasant coming out of them."
She laughed and began pushing him away with her hand at his shoulder. Dan grinned back at her. "No way you're getting out of this one, Waldorf" and he quickly covered her giggling mouth with his own.
Blair remembered one episode of Sex and the City when Carrie kept whining about having the weight of a man on her—and in this moment; she understood exactly what that shopaholic was saying. Dan's weight felt so good, solid, real, and unmovable. Other women or real estate would not easily sway him—because when Dan Humphrey was present, he was present in his body and soul. She slide one leg up around his hips so that he fit neatly in between her thighs and felt his hardness pressing against her. Dan's erection. She hadn't even thought about Dan's erection and while it didn't surprise her, she was fascinated by the size.
Suddenly, the elevator dinged the arrival of the visitors. Blair sat up in alarm and pushed Dan off the couch.
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Heh, what can I say. I love a good cliff hanger. Please let me know what you think. Reviews help me think :P