Amie lay on the bed in her room after her shower she had also tried talking to her dejected little brother. He was having a tough time. He didn't know how to react. He didn't wanna cry or shout so he bottled. He was sure Missy was leaving him and decided he didn't wanna stay and wait for the bad news. She had tried to make him feel better and reassure him but it had even sounded hollow to her own ears. Missy was strong and tough but if your heart gave out on you, you were basically screwed. Amie liked to think that she wasn't going anywhere but everyone died eventually, whether you wanted them to or not. Missy hadn't wanted her best friend to die but she had. Amie doesn't want Miss to die but she would eventually. Everyone leaves! Her life was fast and exciting and when she left she was going out with a bang not a whimper! Unlike other people! She changed her train of thought. She was really tired and needed sleep and if she thought like that she would kick off.

She thought about Missy and her dad and her when she was little. The thing she had told her dad about her mum. Alice. Her mum? God she had no idea what to call her, I mean you couldn't have two mum's right? She rubbed her face. When she had been little she had idolised her mother. She had always been perfect to her. Or that is what people told her she was like! When she had been preteen Missy had spoke to her often, which was what she wanted. She had wanted to know everything. Then one morning, when she was about 12 she woke up and realised she had no memories of her mother. Not that were own anyway. When she thought of her face she recalled photographs. Her perfume was a half empty bottle her dad gave her. Funny times, it was like she was on the sidelines watching her mum carry on with Daniel, Lexi or Ethan. She had nothing! And that made her angry! I mean GOD! Why couldn't she have one thing that was just hers, no she had to share everyone else's. Then it hit her, her mother had been dead for 6 years and she may as well as never existed coz Amie had no clue who she was. She knew material stuff, stuff she had been told but she didn't know who her mother was deep down. And why was that? Coz she had left! She pounded her fist off the bed and turned onto her side. Scowled.

A few weeks after that Amie had realised the source of her anger. It had scared the life outta her. I mean she had the girls education at school and heard her friends talk about it when they had their first time but still! She had been alone and her mother was gone and she went into meltdown. Then of course Missy saw her and saw she was different. Had a feeling what was wrong. Pulled her to a quiet discreet corner and asked her in hushed tones. Sorted her some stuff told her it was ok. That she had reacted far worse. As in screamed bloody murder. Amie hadn't known at the time what had actually happened with Miss. With her uncle. Missy had only tried to make her feel better and it had worked. She felt better and not as daft after hearing Missy went silly too. Then after that Missy had always been there.

First time her heart had been broken - Missy.

Help with school work and homework - Missy.

Boys - Missy.

Missy helped teach her to drive trucks. Albeit badly but it had been her. Got them lost in the bush too. But they had been together. Saw her through the tests and stresses being a teenager brings. They also had a lot of what she thought would have been mother daughter arguments. Over her curfew and boys and her room being a mess. And at times Amie wanted to strangle her and even told her to go to hell. Funny though she had never said you are not my mother remark. She realised why later. She had begun wishing that Missy was her mother. Then started seeing her as her mum. But she wasn't and she really needed a mother. She couldn't remember what it was like to have one. This was the one and only thing she felt like she couldn't go to Missy with. She bottled it up and soon she was resenting that Alice was her mum and Melissa wasn't. Coz Missy was here and Alice wasn't. Now Missy was…..

"Ames can I come in baby?" her dad broke her dark thoughts. She was on her side with her back to the door. She stayed quiet feigning sleep. He walked in.

"I know your awake Ames. you snore!" he said simply.

"I do not!" she declared sitting up.

He grinned at her and she exhaled. "You got me?"

He nodded.

She flopped back down onto the bed. "I need to sleep. I have just finished an op. I'm tired." she told him pointedly turned on her side with her back to him once again.

He stood and watched her with his arms crossed.

"We barely get any sleep when we are in the field dad." she hinted when he didn't leave.

"Amie we should talk about your mum." he told her softly.

Missy popped in her head automatically. No he meant Alice obviously. Missy. Alice. Missy. Alice. Her head was going round in circles. Not getting enough sleep did that to her.

"Well talk dad." she said dryly. Yawned. Hopefully he would say what he had to say and leave so she could sleep, if she just let him talk at her for a little bit he'd go. It would all be rubbish anyway, but when her dad got an idea in his head there was no stopping him.

"Amie why do you hate your mum?"

She kept quiet, unwilling to be drawn into an argument coz she know one would inevitably follow.

"Ames baby it wasn't her fault."

Wrong thing to say. Casting blame. Well if it wasn't her then who was it? She dived off the bed. "Whose was it then? Mine? I'm the one who suffered all those years!" she blurted angrily. Chest heaving.

"It's just one of those things Amie." he said calmly. His calm rational tone stroked her anger and made it burn hotter it sounded so smug. So superior. And it grated on her nerves!

"Yeah well if she hadn't went out in that storm then she would have lived. Simple. Therefore it is her fault and I should hate her accordingly!" she fumed. Not thinking rationally. Reacting with her emotions.

Danny exhaled. He hadn't seen this side to his daughter before. He had no idea how to handle it. He never had any idea how to handle Amie. She was an enigma to him. He sat on the bed and rubbed his face thinking.

She crossed her arms. Her face became defensive and she looked him dead in the eye. "I know you both didn't want me too. I heard someone mention it years ago. I can't remember who. They were talking about how I wasn't planned and I nearly split you up. Neither of you even wanted me!" she repeated angrily and paced. "Talk about scarring your kids for life!"

"WHAT?" he said shocked.

"I know I wasn't planned. And I know I almost broke you up!"

"Amie your wrong. Me and mum love you so much. Your a gift to us. Both you and Daniel."

"Well I don't believe you." she said stubbornly. Thinking her dad was only trying to placate her.

"Amie both you and Daniel should never have happened."

She frowned. "What so we are both mistakes? O lovely dad!" she said coldly.

"No look. When your mother was younger. 22 she was involved in a car crash she suffered bad injuries and almost died. Her abdomen was severely scarred. She was impaled by a metal rod. We were told that we would never conceive a child naturally. She lost a baby then."

"Whoa." she murmured softly.

"You never wondered about the massive gap between Daniel and Lexi?" he asked.

"No not really. I just figured mum wanted another kid later you know."

"Me and your mum had been married 10 years when Daniel came along. Lex was 15. We were over the moon. Really beyond words to be honest. Again when Daniel was 3 months your mum was feeling ill again. We knew there was a chance this time and we found out about you. When you were born I held you in my arms when you were seconds old. So bad tempered already." He smiled softly at the memory. "Words can't describe the feeling you have looking at your child. Something you made with someone you love more than your own life. Don't tell me that I didn't want you when I wanted you more than I have ever wanted anything in my life." he told her seriously.

"But…." she was lost for words.

"I'll admit me and your mother went through bad times when she was pregnant with you. Daniel was less than 6 months old and your mother was pregnant again and we did nearly say to hell with it but we realised that what we had together was too good to throw away. We got through it. It wasn't because of you we nearly broke up it's just stuff that all couple go through. She just so happened to be pregnant when it happened. You really don't understand how much we both wanted you. How jealous we would get when people around us were having kids and we knew it would never happen for us."

Amie's head was spinning. One thought popped in her head that stopped her in her tracks and the nager began to build again. "Doesn't change the fact that she's gone though does it dad. She wanted me so much and yet she LEFT! And don't tell me she didn't want it to happen!" her chest was heaving and she was barely containing the emotion inside. All these things she had wanted to say for years were coming tumbling out and she felt like she couldn't stop them.

"What happened Amie? When we used to talk about your mum you used to be happy you were hers. Proud she was your mum." he told her.

"Who made you talk about her to me huh dad?" she asked.

"No one." he answered.

"Fine then who suggested it?"

He shook his head and exhaled. They were getting no where fast. "Yes, Missy used to suggest it but I did it because I wanted to. Look Missy was better at knowing when you needed to talk then me."

Amie couldn't hear him talk about Miss right now. Her emotions felt too raw. She swallowed the ball of emotion lodged in her throat. He had to leave NOW! "Just leave me alone please. I'm tired." she was really shattered and upset and it was all starting to build up and she was gonna explode. She turned her back to him. Her shoulders shook.

"Amie baby" he said worried about her. She wasn't an emotional person usually. As a child she had been like that but as an adult she had never cried. She was controlled.

Amie's hands swiped at her eyes. Don't cry! Your in the army. The secret service. You never cry or they will know your weak. Suck it up and stay strong. Stronger than steel! She inhaled deeply and composed herself. Turned to face her father. She looked at concerned green eyes and crumpled again she ran to him and buried her face in his chest.

"I'm losing the nearest thing to a mum I have ever had dad." she cried softly.

So that's what's bothering her. Why all the mum comments were doing her head in. Although she never showed emotion she had always felt things deeply. It was a good thing but bad too.

"Miss won't leave you Ames."

"You said mum didn't have a choice. Who says she will?" she sniffed.

"Miss is stubborn Amie. Stubborn to the point of insanity sometimes. She is far more mule headed than your mother was. Where do you think Ryan gets it from?"

"You." she answered.

He laughed softly. Then turned serious once again. "Look Ames I'm not gonna lie to you. She isn't well and her prognosis isn't good but this is Missy. Our Missy she'll bounce back and be as good as new in no time at all."

This was the second time he had had this chat today. Had had it with Ryan too. Caroline was flying over to come and take him home.

Amie's tears had subsided but she still held on tonight to her dad. They didn't really hug much anymore. She knew that Lexi was his favourite and she was cool with that.

"You should have told me how you felt Amie. We could have sorted this earlier. At least it's better now though." he told her.

She pulled back and wiped her eyes. Sorted? What exactly was sorted. Did she think he had changed her mind over what she said? "I can't forgive her dad. And I meant what I said about Missy, about her being my mum. She may not have gave birth to me but she had been there for every time I needed somebody. Comforted me when I cried. Supported me when I was low. Picked me up when I fell down. That is a mum isn't it dad?"

Danny began to struggle. See a mum was all those things but Amie is Alice's daughter. Missy as much as he loved her and he really did would never be Amie's mum in his eyes. Same way Alice would never be Ryan's. So hearing his daughter talk in this way….

"Look Amie, Missy isn't your mum. She never will be." he said softly. "I could understand you feeling like this if you had a mother who didn't love you or didn't care but she did and I have no doubt that she still does!"

"How do I know Alice loves me? I can't remember her. All I have is photo's of her smiling and videos of her cooing at me. She isn't here! The only maternal love I remember comes from Missy and now you are telling me I shouldn't see her as my mum? Thanks a lot dad!" she fumed. Stormed from the room and slammed the door - hard.

A/N i thought they were gonna sort things there - until danny opened his mouth :O

well there is more to come. much more than u think probably. this has started a whole chain of events which will drastically alter the WHOLE family. oooo bet ya dying to know what i have planned :D x