A/N - Just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed. It's great to know that people are getting as much entertainment from reading this as I am from writing it. Anyway, here's chapter 14...
The atmosphere in the car was so thick with tension you could practically cut it with a knife and, for a car with five passengers, the silence was deafening. It was getting to the stage where Amy just wanted the yelling to start so she could get it over with. She felt certain that the longer her parents maintained their silence, the worse it would be when they got home. Although, after the fight her parents had with Jordan Catalano, she wasn't entirely sure whether all of her father's shouting would be directed at her.
They reached Edward's house first. The teenagers shared a look of mutual sympathy as he pushed open the door and started to get out. He was already half wondering if he would be able to get away with not telling Sharon where he had really been that night but any such hope was soon dashed.
"You'd better walk him to the door. Make sure his Sharon knows what was going on." Damon said Angela. For a second looked as if she were going to say no but she got out of the car without saying anything and followed Edward to the door.
"Is that you, Edward? I thought you were going to be at band practice until 10? What are you doing back a whole twenty minutes before curfew?" Sharon said, from the sofa when she heard the door open. She got no response from her son but the sound of a second pair of foot steps entering the house behind him made her turn around. "Angela, what are you doing here? What's going on?"
The light tone Sharon had when she was asking Edward why he was home early was a sharp contrast the to way she looked. Angela didn't know when she had last seen Sharon look so pale and drawn. The bags under her eyes indicated that she could do with a good night's sleep and Angela found herself feeling a little sympathy towards her old friend, despite the feelings of betrayal she still held. "Damon and I found the kids at Vertigo. They went to see Jordan Catalano."
"What?" Sharon asked in disbelief, rising from her seat and walking towards them both.
"Look, I just wanted to talk to him." Edward jumped in. "You can't keep ignoring this and pretending it's all going to go away Mum!"
"Edward, we will talk about this later but now you will go up to your room."
"But you won't talk about it later, will you? You've spent all week talking about everything except what I want to talk about."
"Just go to your room, please."
"You're sending me to my room just because I wanted to talk to him? Just because I wanted to talk to my own father?"
"No, I'm sending you to your room because you lied to me about where you were going tonight."
"I lied? You're such a hypocrite!" He shouted, pure frustration propelling him in the direction of the stairs. He continued to shout as he climbed them two at a time "I can't even, like, look at you. I hate you!"
For a second, it seemed as if Sharon was frozen but as soon as his door slammed loudly above them, she started to sob, pulling her arms around herself as if to try to support herself.
"He doesn't mean it" Angela said
"Yes, he does, "Sharon replied, not quite meeting her eye. "but it's what I deserve, right? I brought it all on myself, right? "
Angela couldn't bring herself to say no, no matter how upset Sharon looked. "Yeah, you sort of did. So why did you do it? Why Jordan Catalano? Tell me what I did to deserve that? I mean, I would really like to know."
"Nothing. You didn't do anything to deserve that. It wasn't about you, Angela and it's not something I think I could explain."
"So you just betray your oldest friend for no reason? Tell me why you did it?" Angela's voice cracked at the end of the sentence and her eyes started to well up. She knew that it was only a matter of time before the tears would overspill but now that the conversation had started she knew she wouldn't be able to walk away until she had gotten some answers.
"There wasn't just one reason. It wasn't like that."
"So you were just going to lie to me about it for ever. Real mature, Sharon."
"No, I wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how and I needed you, Angela." Now that Sharon had started to talk about it, it was as if the floodgates had opened and she knew that she wouldn't be able to stop until she had said everything. "I was a mess. My father had just died and I was in pieces. And you were so happy. You were getting married and your life was just perfect."
"I offered to postpone the wedding for you but you told me not to. I didn't know what else to do and it seemed as if I was the last person you wanted to deal with."
"You were the only person I wanted to deal with but I knew what a special time it was for you and Damon and I didn't want to wreck that for you. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. I mean I had no idea what I was doing and Jordan Catalano was…he was just there."
"Oh, so you just used him?"
"No, it wasn't like that." Sharon protested. "He was hurting too. We didn't plan for anything to happen but we just started talking and it seemed as if things didn't hurt so much. I'm sorry that you feel betrayed and I'm sorry that I lied to you, to everyone, for all this time but I can't be sorry it happened because he gave me the greatest thing in my life. I'll never be sorry for having Edward."
"I wouldn't want you to be sorry for that. I just wish that you had told me. I mean, when I think about everything I did to help you, all the times I looked after him for you, and all that time I was looking after Jordan Catalano's baby"
"How could I tell you? When I found out I was pregnant I was so scared that I would be completely alone. You have no idea what it was like having to maintain this lie and having to be grateful when you baby sat for me and gave me your cast offs when all along I was so jealous of you for having what you had."
"What did I have?"
"You had a husband who loved you and provided for you. You didn't have to go out to work, pretending that you wanted to be a career woman. You didn't have to leave your baby with friends or family and miss their first words, their first steps, just so you could land an account because you were worried that if you didn't you wouldn't be able to put a roof over their head. I couldn't have coped all on my own. I just couldn't."
"Do you know how many times I was jealous of you?" Angela asked, "I love my family more than anything else but I always felt like some kind of failure because I stayed at home. I put so much time and passion into the law and then I just gave it all up."
"Well, this makes sense." Sharon said, as they both wiped their eyes. "You know what hurts even more?"
"What?"
"The thought that you won't be my friend any more because I've really missed you this week. I know I don't have any right to ask for your forgiveness or expect you to forget but I don't want us to never speak again."
"I missed you too," Angela replied, realising that it was the truth. She held her hand out to Sharon "Squeeze me hand as hard as it hurts."
Sharon took the offered hand eagerly, new tears falling down her cheeks. Rather than squeezing with all her might as she would have done in her youth, she pulled Angela into a hug.
"You should talk to him, you know?" Angela said, when they broke the hug a few moment later.
"I know. Edward deserves more of an explanation."
"I didn't mean Edward." Angela thought that this was the last thing she would suggest to Sharon but , deep don she knew that it was the right thing to do. "You should talk to Jordan. I'm the one with the tendency to shut people out, not you, remember?"
"I just don't know what to say to him" Sharon admitted "but you're right. I should talk to him."
"I should get going. Damon and the girls are waiting in the car outside."
"Okay. Listen, we're having a barbecue on Sunday. I think Edward's already invited Amy but I'd really like it if you and Damon came as well."
Angela's first instinct was to say no. They may have cried and hugged but it was too soon for them to behave as if nothing at all had happened. However, she knew that saying no would not help them rebuild their friendship which is what she ultimately wanted to do, even if it did take time. "Okay, we'll come."
After walking Angela to the door, Sharon climbed the stairs and stopped at the top, sitting next to her son.
"You keep listening in on my conversations and I'll have to get you a bell or something."
"I'm sorry about what I said." Edward started, hating that he had made her cry.
"I'm sorry too." she replied, putting an arm around his shoulders and kissing the top of his head. "About everything."
She wasn't sure how long they sat there but when they did finally get up, her legs were full of pins and needles. It didn't matter though. All that mattered was that they had finally taken a step in the right direction for getting their lives back on track.
Amy opened the fridge, hoping that there would be some sort of snack she could eat. Although she had eaten dinner in the apartment above her granddad's restaurant she had been far too nervous about how the evening would go to do more than pick at her food. Now that she was home, and the evening events had proved to be even worse than she had imagined, her appetite had returned with a vengeance. She found some left over pasta at the back of the fridge and decided that would have to do.
The first time she heard a noise she thought it was just the sound of the plate turning in the microwave and dismissed it almost instantly. The second time she heard the scuffing noise she realised it was coming from outside. The rest of the house was quiet and as much as she wanted to wake her parents, she held back. She had been shouted at and lectured enough for one night. She didn't need another lecture on thinking about her actions if she screamed the house down over a stray cat. However, the fifth time the scuffing sound reached her ears, she realised it was progressing along the outside wall and the closer it got to the kitchen door, the more it sounded like footsteps. She couldn't just stand there and do nothing. What if it was a prowler and they tried to get in? Trying to keep her nerves at a manageable level she approached the door and lifted the blind back to peek out of the window.
What she saw made her release a breath of relief followed immediately by a breath of happy surprise. Rather than a stray cat or unknown prowler, it was Mike walking towards her. She opened the door slowly, sighing in relief as he slipped through the gap without the hinges squeaking. The microwave started to ping just as she eased the door shut, making her jump but he seemed perfectly at ease as he crossed the kitchen and retrieved the steaming bowl.
"Wow, food." he said, grabbing a fork and helping himself.
"What are you doing here? It's late. My parents are right upstairs."
"They are?" he asked, holding the fork out towards her, offering her some of the food he had obviously claimed as his.
"Well they do live here." she replied, as she moved closer to take a bite while there was still some left. "Seriously, you have to go."
"Okay," he said, putting down the nearly empty bowl, but instead of moving to leave he pulled her closer towards him, drawing her into a kiss. "So, you know how I don't really get on with my mum's boyfriend? Well, I was telling Tino how much of a jerk he is and Tino has given me a spare key to his house so I can just crash there whenever I want."
"Sshh.. wait a minute," convinced that she could hear one of her parents moving about upstairs.
"Well, Tino's hardly even in, especially on the weekends." Mike lowered his voice to barely above a whisper, "Which means we can have a place, to like go. So do you want to, like, go on Saturday night?"
"What, just sneak in without him, like, knowing? Wouldn't that feel like breaking and entering?"
He trailed a finger down her neck and across her collarbone, "Just entering. So we can, you know, be somewhere."
His breath felt warm against her skin and she felt light headed. If he had asked her to go with him there and then she would have said yes but a creaking noise from the top of the stairs brought her back to reality.
"Amy? What are you doing down there? It's nearly midnight?" Angela shouted down.
"I'm just getting something to eat, mum" Amy replied, hoping that her mother wouldn't come down the stairs because there was no way she wouldn't see Mike.
"Well, don't leave a mess down there for me to clean up. Oh, and don't forget what we talked about tonight about you and Mike. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You like Mike. I have no problem with that. I just don't want you to think that you have to sneak around."
"Okay, Mum." Any cringed, as she watched the smile spread across Mikes face. Thankfully, he waited until they heard the sound of her mother walking back along the hall and closing her bedroom door before he made any comment.
"So, you like me?"
"Oh, shut up."
"You mother say's you like me."
"Shut, up!" She repeated, trying not to laugh as he wrapped his arms around her again.
"So, Saturday night?"
"My dad say's I'm grounded. Maybe I can get him to change his mind."
"You'll have to lie about who you're going to be with or he'll never change his mind. I mean, I don't think he likes me very much."
"Of course he doesn't like you," Amy replied, tying her best to adopt a wide eyed, innocent look. "Don't you know you're leading me astray?"
"You sure that's not the other way around?" he asked playfully, before leaning in for one last kiss. "Ok, I'd better go. See you tomorrow."
"Okay." She locked the door behind him and walked to her bedroom feeling as if she were walking on clouds. Her stomach was so full of butterflies she thought it would take hours of her to get to sleep. However, within minutes of her head hitting the pillow, she drifted off to pleasant dreams.
"Catalano," Rayanne said in greeting as she slid onto the empty bar stool next to his. While there had been standing room only a few hours before, most of the tables were now empty and she had a feeling it wouldn't be long before all of the stragglers got kicked out.
"Graff," he replied, barely looking in her direction as he emptied the shot glass in front of him and signalled to Jenny to get him another. "You want a drink?"
"Nope. I'm squeaky clean these days. Like a rubber ducky. Like, for real." Her statement received no response from him and it was actually refreshing. Most people who knew her from high school and remembered how she had been in her wild days took her declaration of sobriety with more than a grain of salt and she could always see the disbelief in their eyes. It was good to have someone just accept what she said and not question it. However, refreshing soon turned into awkward silence and she found herself continuing to speak just to fill it. "I'm so clean you could, like, eat off me. So, Tino said you were supposed to be doing another set but it looks like they're closing up soon?" She continued as she pulled a brightly coloured lollipop from her bag.
A fresh drink appeared in front of him but rather than pick it up and down it as she expected he just stared at it before folding his arms on the bar and silently leaning over to rest his head on top of them. Rayanne decided to give up and leave him alone to drink himself into oblivion, or not. It really wasn't like she could do much about it either way. However, just as she started to move he spoke.
"I blew it," he said dejectedly, staring down at his drink on the wooden bar, chin still resting on his hands rather than looking up at her.
"The set? How? It's not like you've ever frozen on stage or forgotten when to start singing like some people we know," she replied, referring to her own short and still embarrassing musical career.
"Forget the set. I can't think about some crappy set. My life sucks too much."
"So, you had a fight with Angela and now she's not talking to you? Join the club but you don't see me hitting the bottle do you?"
"Not Angela," he replied, looking at her for the first time. "Edward. He left."
"Oh," Rayanne said as the realisation dawned on her. She had automatically assumed that his melancholy was due to Angela because, historically, it was the right assumption to make. In a way it would have been easier if her assumption was right. At least she would have past experience to draw advice from. Seeing as she had decided to stick her nose into his business, she felt duty bound to at least try to come up with something. "Well, yeah. I mean, he was here without his mother's permission. He couldn't really stay."
"I didn't expect him to, like, be here and when I saw him coming over, I thought…I dunno…I guess I thought that at any minute he was going to change his mind and just turn around but he didn't. I'm glad he was here. I am. I just thought he would have, like, stayed. At least for a bit. I mean, Mike stayed."
"Mike doesn't have to face the wrath of Sharon. She's into that whole active parenting deal. You know, kind of the opposite of what our parents did." Rayanne pointed out. "and buying the kids a round of beers probably wasn't the best way to for you to get on her good side. Damon's either. He looked seriously pissed off."
"I know." Jordan replied. In all honesty, he knew it wasn't the smartest thing he could have done but he remembered what it was like to be fifteen and want to be accepted in an adult world. He remembered what it was like to want his own father to view him as a man and not a boy. "Do you remember when you were a kid and you started going to bars and stuff? Not just sneaking beers into Louie's or getting trashed in Lets Bolt where the music was so loud you couldn't hear anything, but proper bars? Me and Shane used to go to these different jam nights around town and at first no one talked to us. It was like they thought we were little kids just because we had to use fake ids to get in."
"Yeah. at one point I, like, collected them." Rayanne didn't want to point out that the reason they had the fake id's was because they were just kids. She felt like she was getting a rare glimpse into the mind of Jordan Catalano and she didn't want to put him off sharing.
"There was this one bar that had the best music so we just kept going back every week and, after a while, all the older guys kind of got used to us hanging around and they sort of stopped treating us like kids. Anyway, there was one old guy. He probably wasn't even that old. Hell, he was probably younger than I am now but he used to buy us beers sometimes and after the music stopped we used to sit with him by the bar and talk about the different bands, like he was interested in our opinions and stuff. I always used to think how cool that was, you know? And I used to kind of wish that I was sitting with my dad instead of some random dude. That we could have a drink and just talk, like equals or something."
"I get it."
"You do?"
"Yeah," Rayanne replied. What Jordan was really saying was that he wanted Edward to like him. He wanted Edward to think he was cool so that maybe Edward would keep coming back. As far as she was concerned it was a good sign, even if it was slightly misguided. "But maybe you should try to find some common ground with him away from the pub. I mean, underage drinking didn't exactly do us any favours and Sharon was always part of the good girl group in school. Well, mostly. I mean, she had her moments but I guess you'd know more about that than me."
"Yeah, Sharon," he said, ignoring the joke she had tried to make. It was clear from his tone of voice that he was not looking forward to the reaction he thought she would have to the nights events. "She's definitely not my number one fan. She'll probably never let me see him again."
"If we were still in high school I'd be sending you off to find Brian Krakow so you could ask him to write an apology letter for you." Rayanne smirked, trying to lighten the mood again but the look she got in reply clearly indicated that he was not amused. "Maybe you should just try talking to her. You know, like, as in actual communication? Anyway, I've got to go. Tino's waiting for me outside to give me a ride home and he'll leave without me if I don't get my ass out there. Later, Catalano."
"Later," he replied as he watched her skip towards the door, lollipop still in hand. In her own way she was still as crazy as she'd been in high school and he wasn't sure whether it was her sobriety or his inebriation but , for once, he actually thought Rayanne Graff was right about something. He needed to talk to Sharon and there was no way he could keep putting it off. He reached for his phone without thinking about the lateness of the hour. He almost hung up when the answer machine kicked in but decided it was now or never. "Hi Sharon. It's me. Jordan Catalano…we kind of need to talk so, I don't know, give me a call or come over to the store or something…so we can, you know, talk…bye." He couldn't help cringe at his phone after he hung up, wondering why he hadn't thought of something less pathetic to say but at least it was done. No one could say that he hadn't at least tried and now the ball was in her court.
"Hey, Catalano. We're calling time." Jenny said as she stacked the last of the dirty glasses behind the bar. "You drinking that or what?"
Jordan looked at the full shot glass that was still sitting on the bar. He had never been one to waste good whisky but when he picked it up he realised he didn't feel like it any more and put it down again within her easy reach. "Nah. Where's Shane?"
"He left over an hour ago. He's got work tomorrow." She distinctly remembered her brother saying goodbye his best friend before he left. Obviously, Jordan had already forgotten that part of the evening. "Why? You need a ride home?"
"I'm ok.." he started but the sight of her picking up his shot glass and tossing it's contents into a nearby sink reminded him of exactly how much he had had to drink that night. It had taken him long enough to get Red back in good working order to know that the last thing he wanted to do was wrap her around a lamp post on the way home. "Actually, yeah. I could do with a ride."
It didn't take much longer for her to finish cleaning up and collect her tips for the evening and, as they walked out together, Jenny was glad that Jordan seemed capable of walking in a straight line and carrying his guitar without knocking the case into any furniture. Either he was starting to sober up or he hadn't drank as much as she first thought. She had acted as chauffeur for her brother's drunken friends on many an occasion and there was always one sure way to tell just how drunk they were. Although she had known them all pretty much since she was born and they spent most of her youth ignoring her, finally getting her drivers license and breasts resulted in them realising that she was an actual girl and not just some mild annoyance. As she walked to the car in front of him she opened a couple more buttons on her black work shirt, revealing slightly more cleavage than she liked to show while she was working. When she reached the car, she turned to face him and paused, pulling her hair from it's pony tail and shaking it out so that it fell in caramel waves around her shoulders, before opening the rear door so he could put his guitar on the back seat. His eyes lingered on her a little longer than normal as she moved but he tried to hide it from her rather than blatantly staring. On a scale of one to ten he's about a seven she decided. Drunk but not drunk enough to pass out or puke up on the way home.
It didn't take long for her to drive over to his apartment but they passed the time in silence, deep in their own thoughts. When she pulled up outside the bakery and switched the engine off they both sat still for a moment, neither one sure whether they should ask the other what was on their mind.
It was Jenny who spoke first. "So, that was your son then? At Vertigo?"
"I guess so. I mean, yeah. That was him."
"It's not that bad. I mean, lots of people don't know their father. Shane never knew his and I don't really see mine very often. But at least you can-"
"Let's not talk about this."
"-get to know him now. Sorry, I didn't mean.."
"Nah, it's ok." Jordan shrugged, knowing she was only trying to help.
"So, that woman who was there thought I was your girlfriend, huh?"
"Angela, yeah. Look, I didn't tell her that you were or anything, because I'm not like that."
"No, I know."
"I don't know why she thought that." Jordan, said still sort of angry at Angela's assumption.
"No, me either." Jenny replied, although in reality she could guess. When she had been growing up, her brother's friends had been a constant source of crushes and lustful obsessions. Jordan had visited town for just a few weeks when she was nine years old and he had made such an impression that she spent months answering the phone before anyone else just in case it was him calling so she would be able to hear his voice. Since he had come back her crush had also returned with a vengeance. She knew she took every opportunity to flirt with him and found any excuse to touch him and, Jordan being Jordan, he sometimes flirted back but never in a serious way. Obviously Angela had see enough to make her pick up on the fact that there was something going on even if it was one sided. "It's weird though. I mean, people think we're doing it because of what she said."
"They do?" No one had said anything to him but he had spent the majority of the evening sitting by the bar on his own and brooding.
"Yeah," she said, suddenly feeling as if this was a now or never moment. She had spent most of the evening trying to convince Shane that nothing was going on between her and Jordan, mainly because Tino had taken great delight in trying to convince Shane that she was lying, but secretly she wanted to be lying to them all. She lent in towards him and it seemed as if he responded in kind. "It's like we might as well have done it anyway at this point."
"Oh"
"I mean, if everybody's talking about it already maybe we…I mean, not to make too much of deal out of it."
"Out of what?" he asked, knowing exactly what she was trying to say and wondering if he would be able to resist temptation, as they both leant further in.
"Out of anything. I mean, if everybody's already assuming it maybe we should just…" His lips met hers and for a moment she felt as if she was in ecstasy but just as she started to deepen the kiss he backed away.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have …"
"Yeah. I'm Shane's little sister. Officially off limits to any man he's ever so much as spoken to." Jenny said, unable to hide her disappointment.
"No, it's not that."
"What then? I'm too young for you?" She said, repeating his words from earlier in the evening.
"No. It's just…if I do this, it means she's right about me. Angela, I mean. If this was happening a week ago, we'd probably be upstairs by now and you're great. I mean, like, really great but now I just can't. It's like I've got responsibility for the first time in my life and everyone's expecting me to fuck it up, even worse than I already have, and for the first time in my life I want to prove them all wrong."
"She's not his mother, right?" Jenny asked.
"No, she's not. It would be simpler if she was. Actually, it really wouldn't but I kind of think I have something to prove to Sharon too. I'm just not sure what it is yet."
"Okay," she replied, realising she had received as much as she was going to get. "Probably for the best anyway. Apart from the fact that Shane really would kick your ass, you're nearly forty so you're, like, too old for me."
"Hey, less of the old" he replied, matching her small smile. "We cool?"
"Yeah, we're cool"
He got out of the car and, after pulling his guitar out of the back, he watched her drive away until her tail lights became small red lights in the distance. Part of him thought himself a fool for letting her just go but another part of him knew that he had done the right thing. 'Who would have thought going home alone could make you feel this good?' he thought as he lit his last cigarette of the night and walked slowly upstairs to his apartment.
Thanks for reading! ~LJ~