Never Be Mine

By: Michelle Rose Landau

Summary: The only way she'll notice me, the only way I'll know she's interested either way, is if I just talk to her...Love, sex, marriage, and family in 12.

Genre: Romance/AU; there's still Hunger Games, but Katniss and Peeta won't be Tributes.

Pairing(s)/Characters: eventual Peeta/Katniss, Gale/Katniss, Gale/Madge, OC/Tributes

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games series. They are the sole creative property of Suzanne Collins.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait between updates! Good news is that this is pretty much written, and I'm on the last few chapters, so, updates will be a little more regular. Thank you for your patience! Enjoy.

~fourteen~

"Hey, Peeta," Gale says. "Can I talk to you?"

I look at Gale.

He doesn't look angry, and he doesn't look like he wants to kick my ass, so I'm a little less on edge. Still, I don't really know why he wants to talk to me; I'm the wedge between him and Katniss, so I can't possibly imagine what he wants to say to me that he hasn't already communicated through icy stares and possessive stances next to Katniss.

"I only have a few minutes," I say evenly. "I have to get to the bakery."

"I know," he says.

He takes something out of his pocket.

"Katniss wanted me to give this to you," he says, handing me a folded paper.

I take it, my heart clenching.

I open it up and begin to read the short note. It's way shorter than what I'd written, and it would figure. Katniss isn't much for words, not even on paper.

Dear Peeta,

Thank you for the letter, it was beautiful.

Okay, so here's the answer to your questions:

Do I want to go with you? Yes, as long as we continue to go slow.

Do I like writing? No. I can never find the right words, and I get frustrated.

Smoke signals? A last resort.

Phone me. I think that's the best way for now. I'll wait up...I'm thinking it will be fairly late when you call.

Katniss

Suddenly, the anxiety leaves my mind and body, and is quickly replaced with relief and happiness.

I smile a little.

"I'm guessing she said yes," Gale says.

I look at him.

"Yeah," I say.

He nods.

"Okay," he nods, and he looks like he wants to kick my ass again. "Listen and listen good: much as I hate to admit it, you're good for Katniss. She's a good girl, so you better do right by her. You do things right with her...no other way will do, you got me?"

I catch what he's saying, and I nod.

"She deserves to have a good life. She's more like her mother than she realizes, so if you break her heart, it'll destroy her. I swear, Mellark, if you do anything to hurt Katniss...anything, I will kill you. I don't give a fuck what they do to me. I'll gladly take the punishment. I will fucking. Kill. You. Got it?"

I'm not intimidated, and Gale has nothing to worry about, but I understand where he's coming from, and I nod.

"Understood," I say.

He nods, then he heads off.

I look at the note again, and I think about the logistics. She said to phone her, and that's a great idea. The only phone in the house is in the living room, and any phone calls I make would have to be done extremely quietly. It's feasible, as my parents tend to be heavy sleepers.

If worse comes to worse, there's always the phone in my dad's office in the bakery.

I am looking forward to hearing her voice.

I go to the bakery, and begin work.

I'm given the task of decorating a wedding cake for Sal's friend, Lucas Teeps. He's getting married to Erlina Smidts, and their toasting is in a few days.

Toastings are a tradition in Twelve. It's a wedding custom that is simple for everyone involved.

Usually, a couple will make an appointment at the Justice Building to fill out all of their paperwork, apply for their home assignment, and update their information. After that, a girl will come to the boutique and rent a white dress for the toasting, or she'll make her own if she can scrounge up the fabric, and a guy will wear something nice.

On the day before the toasting, the couple will meet Mayor Undersee with their families and sign the certificate.

On toasting day, the couple will meet at their house, and there's a song called "Twined" sung by the family and guests and the couple opens the front door together, and walk over the threshold.

The couple will make their first fire together, and toast a slice of bread, which we provide, and they feed it to each other.

It's a sweet exchange, and it cements the marriage.

Afterward, there's a reception, if it can be afforded. Usually Merchants are able to afford to have more elaborate celebrations.

There's dancing and music, a nice meal, and even some gifts.

My family has been invited to many a toasting, simply because we've been called upon to present the cake.

The poorer families usually try and save up what they can in order to pay for a nice cake or some cookies, but mostly, they want the bread.

Sal gives me Erlina's ideas for the design.

My dad made the cake. Erlina wanted an orange flavored cake, and she also wanted green frosting.

I get to work making the green fondant, and I spread it over the cake, cutting off the extra.

I'm focused as I mix the sugars and dyes.

She wants this crazy pattern that she saw in one of the broadcasts from the Capitol. It's almost like a paisley, but not quite. Of course I can tackle it.

As I'm frosting, I think about Katniss.

I can't wait to talk to her finally.

She said that she will go with me...just the thought makes me grin.

Now, I just have to figure out how we're going to make it work, how we're going to spend time together, and keep it from my mom for a while.

I don't know what's going to happen if my mom finds out too soon.

Sometimes I think that surely she knows that I'll find a way. Sal has found a way to be with Constance, despite her protests.

She must know that she really can't stop us.

Me and my brothers know that eventually, she will relent, because we all know that there's one thing she wants more than anything: a girl, a granddaughter. The only way she's gonna get one is if me and my brothers marry our girls and get them to having babies as soon as possible.

My mom's nutty.

I finish the cake, and my dad gives it his approval. I put the cake into the refrigerator, then we begin to close up for the evening.

As I go through the motions of our evening routine (dinner, cleaning up, listening to a radio program, then hanging out in my room) I keep careful time, ticking away at the minutes.

I am restless, but this time, it's good.

I stay downstairs tonight.

Mom gives me a cup of tea before she goes upstairs to bed. I sip at it, as I sit on the couch, listening to the radio, waiting for the phone to ring.

I feel so silly...waiting, feeling this way.

I feel so anxious. I feel fluttery.

I know that Peeta is going to call. I asked Gale to give him the note for me because I didn't want to risk us being seen together at any point. I don't want to give Peeta's mother another excuse to hurt him like she did. The girls at school, they see and talk about everything. I figured that by having Gale deliver the letter, that it would solidify our appearance of not associating with one another in any way.

Gale and I have found our footing with each other again. The tenor of our friendship is different now, and because of that I think that our feelings for each other have become a little less fuzzy. I know for sure that he is my friend, my hunting partner. I don't know how things will turn out between me and Peeta, but I know that right now, it's worth trying. It's all so new and strange.

I want to hear his voice. Peeta's voice, his words are soothing, like a balm. He speaks to a place in me that truly needs that. I respond to him in a way that I don't respond to anyone else.

It's one o'clock, and I'm beginning to get a little sleepy.

Finally, the phone rings, and I answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi..."

I smile a little.

"Hey..."

"God, it's so good to hear your voice," he says quietly, sounding relieved. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," I say. "How are you? Are you better?"

"Much," he says.

"Are you safe right now?" I ask.

"Yeah, everyone's asleep...so you'll really go with me?"

"Yes," I say. "But I don't really know how it works...I've never gone with a guy before."

"We just get to know more about each other, do stuff together..."

"But how are we going to do things together with your mom always on your case?"

"We'll figure it out," he assures.

"Okay," I say. "I trust you. I just don't want your mom hurting you like she did...not over me."

"It's not you, Katniss. Mom is just...it doesn't matter. She's going to be unhappy either way. If it's not something, it's another."

"Why is she so...crazy?" I ask.

He chuckles.

"How can you laugh about it? It's terrible the way she treats you and your brothers...how can you stand it? How can your dad just stand by and let it happen?"

"Katniss, it's okay," he says. "She's not always bad...my dad loves her..."

I don't understand this. I really don't, and it makes me angry. Parents are supposed to protect children, as much as they can. It makes me angry when parents take their children for granted. How could they? Especially when they know what's coming? When they know the Hunger Games could steal and kill their children?

But I can tell that Peeta loves his mother, and I feel guilty about questioning him.

"I'm being disrespectful...I'm sorry Peeta..."

"No, don't apologize. I understand. From the outside, it does make us all look a little nutty, I have to admit."

"You're not nutty," I say. "I guess all you can do is love, right?"

"Yeah," he says.

I nibble at my bottom lip. "I want to see you. I miss you."

"I miss you," I say.

There is a long pause between us, then she speaks.

"I guess we better go," she says. "Got school."

"Yeah, you're right," I say. "Thanks for waiting up. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," she says. "Okay. Goodnight, Peeta."

"Goodnight, Katniss."

It takes us a moment, then we hang up together.

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