Authors Notes: Weh, I did it. I dunno how, man that hurt.
Everything hurts. I'm sorry ;w;
Poor Nagisa he's trying his damn hardest!

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one! Sorry that it's short and later than usual. I hope I managed to get out all his emotions well.
Next chpt we'll see what's happening in Karma's mind, hopefully the babu can rescue him.

As always, love you all and thank you for your support!

Nagisa's POV

I quivered in my stance, my nerves getting the best of me. Though my arms were in a defensive position, I couldn't feel myself wanting to harm him. I couldn't harm him. I began to feel I couldn't do anything….

Going against my mind, I knew I wanted and needed to be the one he relies on. For both our sakes.

I felt my heart shrivel in the doubt, though, my heart beats racing to my ears. It makes my stomach drop. My vision felt like it was tearing me away from existence and I could see how isolated Karma became in the way I was with my mother. I no longer know this part of him.
How can it be solved if I didn't know this part of you?

And though my thoughts continued to trail on our relationship and how blank I felt, I knew I needed to be an assassin. Time slowed down as I consistently needed to reassure my mind that I will do this. I opened my eyes, and I felt like I was finally able to become serious. I could see the swirls of action telling me my instincts will take control.

Quick to respond to the action, I desperately grab Karma making him halt. My heart beating twice the speed, making me only hear the beats that pleaded for this to be over.

It distracted me and I ended up loosely holding him in my arms, only to get kicks of violence in response.

Harder.
He'll get loose.
Don't think Nagisa!

I wrapped around his body like a snake with prey, which caused us to tumble and crash onto the ground. It was vicious, uncontrollable like my heart. I felt the pain scruff my skin from the stones underneath us.
But I was used to it, we both were. We were trained for this, the pain compared the battle in my head and heart was nothing. My love kicks and thrashes in desperation against my body.

Reminding me of what I was fighting for and why the feeling made my arms tremble as the guilt rakes through my stomach. It's like a whirlpool of different emotions that I can't escape.

On one hand, I don't believe but on the other, I needed to.
I had to. I had to control his movements.

I could see by Karma's expressions he can't fight back. It was like a mouse squirming to breathe.
I felt the tears I was holding back sting my eyes in response, I didn't want them to leave. I knew if they left my eyes I wouldn't be able to stop.
As I tried to find another way, I knew I couldn't do this by myself. I can't pull him through this by myself.

I was barely keeping my emotions weighed, how could I find the love of mine?

I noticed my classmates inside the classroom window, thankfully it was open so they would hear me.
"Oi, guys! Please, can you help?" I pleaded as loudly as I could, choking back the roar of pain that rode throughout me. I tried to keep Karma contained. It began to take a strain on me as he couldn't stop thrashing about, but I knew Karma couldn't tell it was me who held him down and that was the most painful thing…

The boys came to help as they knew I would be dealing with Karma. It went by in a flash as I watched them charge past the window and out the door. I couldn't keep myself together, my composure was broken. They could all tell as it took the rest of the boys to keep Karma down.

My classmates let me get up so I could be the one who calls for him. But I felt those salty droplets fall from my eyes and down my cheeks, it hurts.
I couldn't contain it anymore…
I felt broken.

Karma looked so lost, his walls have been broken in. He wasn't even looking at us anymore, he couldn't. It looked like the black had swallowed him whole.

"Karma, please. Pull through… Follow my voice…. I'm here. We're all here for you. We're all family" My voice struggled not to shake as my tears fell on the boys struggling boys hand. I held it tight through my own shaking grasp. My body jolted through my sobs and I kissed it. He was desperate to break through, though, I could see through how much he thrashed around.
Though I was desperate to cry out for longer, I was finally able to hear what he was muttering.

"I'm the worse son and they know it. They're so disappointed in me… I deserve all the pain they can bring to me. I deserve to be neglected and pushed away. I should be isolated, I'm a pathetic person" My tears began to pool onto his hand more harshly, my eyes tightly shut. I knew how this felt. I knew exactly what was tearing through his mind. I had been in the exact position where their words become your own and you expect pain.

You longed and felt you deserved it. It becomes a constant pressure to be the child they wanted you to be. As the sobs tore out of my body, I wasn't sure if I was angry or disgusted...

What could I do? Me? Out of all the people?

As I felt the cries throughout my body, they were making me succumb to my doubts. But as I felt another thought come crashing down on myself, I felt something soft against my back… I tried to open my eyes despite the pain of them becoming puffy. It was a classmate… I could sense his wavelengths that were much calmer than mine.

"Nagisa, you know exactly how Karma feels. You can save him, I promise you" They had faith in me. They all do I could tell.
As I looked up at them all, they all have smiles on their faces. They aren't worried in the slightest. I wiped my blocked nose, as their faces began to calm me...

I need to do this.
Karma needs me.

I couldn't doubt myself any longer. Everyone was waiting for Karma, everyone has faith. I move closer to his ear, chanting away until I can break into that darkness and recuse him.