To Be Human

Author Note: As promised, here is your regularly scheduled Friday update. And it is regularly scheduled, I have the next several chapters already completed so this fic will be completed within the next few months and will never go on hiatus again. Also, sometime in the near future I will be touching up the earlier chapters, so I apologize in advance if you get alerts for that. The changes will be relatively minor and will not require you to re-read the story.

Anyway, please enjoy the latest chapter of To Be Human. As always, please review!

As a reminder:

."..." speech

'...' thoughts, though it sometimes switches with italics either because I forget or because the character is also speaking and "this"'would'"look wrong".

Hiro patted Kagura's head awkwardly as she sobbed onto his shoulder. He had managed to chase her down as she ran out the door to tell her Kyo's actual location, and had hovered about his house nervously until she came back. Her mask of calm had cracked as soon as she came in the door and she had collapsed sobbing into one of the chairs.

"He looked so lost, Hiro. And there was nothing I could do to help him. He hasn't been eating, I think he's trying to starve himself to death," she cried, her voice aching with misery. "I don't know what to do, I don't know how to help him."

"How did it happen?" he said stupidly, grasping for something to say, as if asking about a stranger's death.

"It was the bracelet," she sniffled, "He said it broke and now he can't change back. Oh, Hiro, what if it's true? What if he never changes back?" Hiro had no response for this, no response to the sobbing girl in his arms. All he could see in his mind's eye was Kisa, once when he had seen her by accident in the days following their forced separation. She had been sitting on a bench in one of the many gardens that dotted the complex. She had cried like this, broken sobs of someone who has lost all the joy in their life. And all he had wanted to do was take the pain away, but he hadn't known how.

"Would he change back if he had the bracelet?" he asked carefully.

"But its no use! Didn't you hear what I said? The beads broke," said Kagura.

"Oh. Yeah.…" he said. 'She's the adult, she shouldn't be putting her troubles on me,' he tried to tell himself, but deep down he had always been a sucker for a crying woman.

'I could get it back…'

The thought struck unbidden and his body went rigid. He could make it right, Tohru would come back, Kagura would stop crying, and Kisa wouldn't be sad anymore. He could find where Akito had hidden the bracelet and give it back to Kyo. Once Kyo had it back he would probably transform right away.

'Don't be an idiot,' he chastised himself. How the heck was he supposed to find one bracelet in the entire Sohma household? Akito probably kept it under lock and key, maybe he never took it off his person.

'And if he catches me…' Hiro's blood went cold at the thought.

"Kagura," he said softly, taking hold of her wrist. She looked up at him, her eyes red from crying. "Don't worry about Kyo."

"Wha-? Hiro…"

"I mean, its not like there's anything you can do to help him. I'm sure he's gotten used to it already. Us guys…we don't like seeing a girl get all upset about us."

"Hiro, I can't do that," she said. "I can't stop wanting to help him, any more than I can stop loving him. And maybe…maybe even if he does change back he'll want to be with Tohru, and its going to break my heart…But Hiro, right now just thinking about him in that dark room, all alone, its breaking my heart right now! And as long as he's like that its never going to stop breaking."

"Kagura…"

Her words haunted him for the rest of the day as he wandered the grounds, ostensibly going to Kisa's house but not ready to face her if she too was crying. Who would have thought the damned Cat could cause him so much trouble? It was almost certainly because of the stolen bracelet that all of this had happened. 'Akito must be delighted,' he thought darkly, remembering the barely-contained glee with which Akito had given him the assignment. But what was he supposed to do now? Akito would never give the bracelet back to Kyo, that would give the whole ruse away. And he sure as hell wasn't going to give it to Hiro either.

"I'm sorry, Akito. I've changed my mind and I've decided I don't want to take Kyo's bracelet, would you mind giving it back so I can return it to him?" he announced sarcastically to the air. "Right, that'll work."

He was getting closer to Kisa's house, his heart sinking with every step until he was literally tugging at his hair in an attempt to clear his thoughts. "Maybe Kisa will get over it. I mean, there was no way Tohru was going to stay at Shigure's forever, it was just a matter of time until Akito made her leave. And Kagura will understand that Kyo needs to stay locked up. It was going to happen anyway, she'll just have to get used to it." The words rang hollow in his ears.

"Argh, why is this happening?" he groaned, dragging his hand down his face.

"Why is what happening, Hiro?"

Hiro looked up and saw Kisa standing in her front door. She had probably seen him from the window while he stood in front of her house talking to himself like a crazy person. He forced an easy smile onto his face. "Nothing, sorry I'm late." Kisa gave him a disbelieving look but ushered him inside.

Here was something he wouldn't give up in a hurry. To just be able to walk into Kisa's house, by the front door, and not have to look over his shoulder for Akito. This is what he would lose if things went back to the way they were. He thought of this while he followed Kisa into the house. It was Mogeta night for the two of them, which meant there would be a new episode on TV. This week was another extended power up, interspersed with repetitions of how it was important to protect your friends, blah blah blah. It was standard fare for a Mogeta episode and he paid only half a mind to it, leaning on the arm of the sofa and staring at the TV without really seeing it. He felt Kisa shift at his side as the episode ended.

"Hiro?" she said. "Do you think Sissy is ever going to come back?"

"I dunno, maybe," he said into the palm of his hand. Of course she would bring up the last thing he wanted to talk about.

"It's just that…I'm worried. I don't think anyone who lives away from the Sohmas has ever known our secret."

"Well I guess that makes Tohru the first then. You shouldn't be so worried about, just because she doesn't live at Shigure's doesn't mean you can't go see her."

"But Hiro, what if Akito has Hatori take her memories away? She wouldn't remember us anymore, she wouldn't know who I am," Hiro could hear the distress mounting in her voice. 'Please don't start crying,' he thought.

"Maybe Tohru will be different," he said lamely. Now that he thought of it, this was the perfect excuse for Akito to sic Hatori on her. There was always someone to keep an eye on her at Shigure's house but now she was living with a non-Sohma. And she had left them because of a fight with a Zodiac member, who's to say she wouldn't spill the beans? The sick feeling in his stomach grew more intense. Kisa hadn't started to cry, but her eyes were luminous and her brow crinkled with worry. Even like this she looked adorable and Hiro wanted to hug her with all his might.

"What if… there was something we could do to bring her back?" he said reluctantly. The effect was immediate, Kisa sat bolt upright her face suddenly shining, tears forgotten.

"Oh, Hiro, do you think we could? Maybe if we talked to Kyo…"

"No," he cut her off quickly, "He's impossible. Just give me a little time, I think I can figure out a way to make the stop fighting," even as he said the words he knew he would have to try. The sudden happiness that flooded Kisa's face was too much to bear and he let his bangs fall over his eyes to hide his own mourning. No more carefree days together, no more coming and going openly. If Kyo got the bracelet back Akito would immediately suspect Hiro, the only other person who knew that the real beads had been stolen in the first place.

"Really? That would make me so happy. I miss Sissy so much…" said Kisa in her soft voice, eyes now brimming with hope.

"Yeah, just give me a few days, I think I know what to do," he said, standing up. He'd have to figure out a plan right away. It was only a matter of time before Akito decided to do something to Tohru, something that would break Kisa's heart.

His heart started pounding as soon as he left the house. How was he going to do this? Should he just go now, walk right into Akito's room? Even if the head of the clan wasn't there there was no telling how long he'd be away. He might even have spies, or cameras in his room, Hiro realized with panic. And maybe he checked on the bracelet regularly, maybe he knew Hiro might try something like this…

Hiro took a deep breath and tried to calm his frenzied thoughts. No, he was going to need a plan, and an ally. He had to know that Akito wouldn't be coming to the room, and he needed a lead on where Akito would hide something like Kyo's bracelet. Obviously it wouldn't be out in the open, but he probably wouldn't trust a safety deposit box either because of the risk of others seeing it. No, it would be somewhere near Akito, somewhere he could keep an eye, where no one else would look.

Hiro fairly flew the rest of the way home. He knew who to call, the question was only if the bastard would help him.

Energy flowed back into Kyo's limbs, returning what feeling he had to his fingers and pooling its warmth in his stomach. With that energy came a clearing of the haze that had clouded his brain, focusing his vision and thoughts for the first time in days. He stared blearily at his claws, the familiar revulsion choaking him at the sight.

Stupid Kagura, treating him like some kid who needs to be forced to eat his vegetables. But as clarity returned, he felt with dull disbelief how different he felt. How long had it been since he had eaten? He realized with chagrin that it had been a matter of days rather than hours. He vaguely remembered hearing the flap squeek as it swung open and shut, as one meal was replaced with another three times a day.

At first the smells had enticed him, but when he had put the rice and fish in his mouth it had tasted like ash and he had simply let that part of his daily ritual slide. Perhaps that is why he had not been more firm with Kazuma about visiting him, and why he had been unable to summon the energy to force Kagura away, physically if necessary. Both of them would likely come by today, he grimaced. Seeing Kazuma wouldn't be so bad. It might even be…nice. To hear another's voice, someone who understood him. Kazuma's visits throughout the past week had mostly involved requests about Kyo's comfort and after Kyo's consistently perfunctory answers, the martial arts master had simply been content to tell about the comings and goings of the dojo. Kyo realized with a wave of guilt that Kazuma had probably though Kyo was upset, when in truth he had simpy been in a daze. Today Kyo would have to make sure Kazuma thought he was ok, and maybe convince him to lower the number of visits.

Which left Kagura. There was something about her presence that drained him like a rainy day. There was just no reasoning with the girl. If he didn't do something quickly she would take his stay in the Cat's House to make him her personal captive audience. He would almost prefer daily visits from Akito over that.

He supposed that he could just do as she said. Clean his plate before she arrived, present it for inspection, the send her on her way. But he knew that wouldn't be enough.

'Why did I do it anyway?' he thought, running one claw through the rice. It might as well have been sand for all the hunger that it inspired. A memory rose in his mind, his mother's face, her features drawn and haggard. He realized upon reflection that at the time he had thought she was sick. Her wan smile as she pushed away a nearly full plate of food, claiming she would eat it later. That had been about the time his father had begun to lose his temper more often, Kyo remembered the shouting…

He shook his head. Why had he thought of that? The truth was he didn't have an appetite, that was all. This body was sturdy enough anyway, he could probably go weeks without really needing to eat.

'Kagura might be back again tonight,' he realized, unconsciously clenching his teeth as if bracing himself. His thoughts were sharpening, the day before he hadn't been able to tell what time it was at all. The haze had been a blessing in that regard. At first he had thought that it was simply his meditations finally working, disconnecting him from the world. He didn't feel disconnected right now. Ever drop of energy entering his system was awakening him, bringing his thoughts closer back to the pain in his heart. Kazuma, Akito, Tohru…

He closed his eyes. No, he didn't need to think about that. It was in the past. It was peaceful here. He could deal with Kagura, he would be firm, serious. He'd show her that she wasn't wanted and this time he would make her listen. It wouldn't be like when he was a human.

Because in truth, he wasn't human. Not anymore.

And he felt a little, just a little, glad that Tohru wasn't there to see him like this.

Author Note: Reviews are the only payment I receive for the hours I spend on this story. With that in mind, please submit your (completely free!) review and let me know what you thought.