Author's Note:

Well, I'm back!

I hope you all found the last chapter to your pleasing. I really wanted to let you all in on what March and Chessur had done.

Now ridiculously large hats and cookies go to all the readers who guessed the necklace as the 'Heart of the Ocean' from Titanic. A very pretty necklace indeed.

Also, chapters may take a little longer to update now as I have finally convinced myself to look through and read my work for errors before uploading. (Thank you Twilight Goddess for pointing out the 'draw' fiasco. A dancing Hatter goes to you!)

Now without any further ado!

~**~

"Do you like your tea?" Hatter asked from over the rim of his own teacup. He had made Alice his 'very own recipe' tea and was anxiously awaiting the result. Hopefully it didn't involve Alice passing out like his dear friend March had. "It tastes like peppermint and… cinnamon?" Alice couldn't quite guess the last ingredient that she could taste. But it was rather good tea. Hatter nodded joyously. "Oh good! No fainting like March." Alice had been informed that the Hatter liked to experiment with his teas, and that the poor hare had suffered a fainting spell or two because of it. "Perhaps he just doesn't like peppermint?"

"Perhaps." Both had their feet propped up on the tea table and neither one really minded that they were only clad in pyjamas. That was until a gentle breeze blew Alice's nightdress up around her knees.

With her face flushed a bright red, Alice speedily adjusted her clothing as the Hatter gaped at her calf, that was quickly disappearing under nightdress material. Her skin was so pale, though not pale like his was. It was a beautiful pale colour skin and he couldn't help the little fantasies that whizzed through his mind. 'And the wind is to thank.' Hatter sighed dreamily in his head. He had never seen Alice's legs before. They were always hidden under something.

"Well I think it time I changed into something more suitable." Alice excused herself from the table and hurried indoors; not only to change but also to get control of the hideous blush she was sporting.

Hatter sighed audibly this time; he was going to change that girl's view on life one way or another. But how to do it without her noticing instantly?

Hatter entered the house, as he too, felt that a change of clothes was in order.

"Alice. Do you wish to walk?" Hatter held his hand out to the blonde and she took it with a smile. "Where to?" Hatter grinned mischievously.

"Haven't the slightest clue." Alice raised an eyebrow.

"No clue?"

"No clue about what?"

"Never mind Hatter." He shrugged and together they made their way out into the sun. It was a lovely day and he could think of nothing better than spending it with Alice.

They walked aimlessly together, talking about everything and nothing all at once. To someone like you or I, it would have been quite hard to keep track of the conversation, as Hatter switched topics so abruptly, but to Alice it was normal. She had always seemed to keep up with him. After a while, she looked at her surroundings and found that they had once again found themselves in the clearing near home.

"… and go peek?" Hatter was jumping around in front of her excitedly.

"I'm sorry, what?" Alice laughed as he sighed dramatically and placed both hands on her shoulders, as if he was trying to stop her from jumping around. "Hide and go peek." He said again. "You hide. I'll go peek." A hand came to his face and obscured his view of Alice. Quickly looking around for a decent hiding place, Alice scurried off to a nearby tree and sat down next to it. The grass was long enough to hide her and her blue dress, which someone, she suspected the Hatter, had washed.

"Oh Alice!" Hatter called after five seconds of searching. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" he was attempting to lure her out, he couldn't see her anywhere and didn't really fancy looking for her amongst all the grass. 'Could've asked to play somewhere else Hatter' he grumbled to himself as he began to search for his Alice once again. No response came. 'Darn it!' he kicked out at a small stone that lay in his path and it rocketed off towards more grass.

Alice nearly shrieked when a stone came flying out of nowhere. It must have meant that the Hatter was nearby if that rock was anything to go by. Keeping awfully quiet so not to give herself away, Alice slowly rose so that she could see over the grass. Hatter was very close by indeed; so close in fact, that if she so chose, she could reach out and take his hat right off his head. Her thought had only been thought in fact, when Hatter's hat flew straight off of his head. Quick as a wink, he looked up to find his hat floating in the air. "Give me back my hat you darn cat!" he yelled in a Scottish brogue. The hat just seemed to dance in the air before floating gracefully into the Hatter's eagerly awaiting hands. Alice stood from her hiding place and approached his side. "Oh Alice! Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you." He wiped the dirt off his hat, and proudly sat it atop his flaming hair. "I was hiding. You were peeking." Alice explained.

Hatter nodded. "That I seemed to be, but you are a very efficient hider dear Alice." Alice curtseyed. "Thank you."

"The pleasure is all mine, m'lady." He bowed and nearly kissed the ground.

"Hatter. How did your hat come off your head?" Alice hadn't seen the Cheshire Cat at all. Hatter's eyes narrowed. "Come out here you cowardice cretin!" he shouted into the clearing. A light rustling could be heard from behind the tree Alice had been hiding next to. She couldn't help but gasp in shock at who appeared.

"If you wish."

"You!" Hatter pointed an accusatory finger at the new person's form. "Were exiled!"

"That I was." said Ilosovic Stayne. "But I come bearing sad news." He held up his shackled hand to reveal a severed one. "And am in need of a blacksmith." He laughed as though he had informed the two of an extremely funny joke.

It was now that Alice was glad that Hatter's hat had flown off his head. If she had stayed where she was waiting for him, she would have come face to face with the Knave; the exact same Knave that had tried to seduce her at the Red Queen's castle. She would have also come face to face with the hand of said Red Queen, who according to Stayne had died in her sleep. "… and so, the only way to get back to be the bearer of bad news was to hack off her hand using a rock." Stayne informed the two, and held up his hand to admire his handiwork. "Not a bad job either if I say so myself." He tossed his hair, which had grown far longer than it had been previously, and matted.

"And you came back because?" Alice asked. She wasn't exactly enthralled with his story. Something didn't sound right about it. It was probably the fact that the Queen died 'peacefully' in her sleep.

"I came back because I had to bring back the news of her death you stupid girl!" apparently being in exile with a Red Queen gave you a short temper. Alice visibly blanched and took a step back; Hatter taking a step forward to place himself in between the two. "Knave. Watch yourself." He warned.

"Or what? The idiot bint is going to slay me too?" he fumed. 'Yes, being in exile with that vile woman has certainly given him a shorter temper' Alice said to herself. "Hatter." Alice warned. She didn't want him to get hurt because of her. He didn't listen to her. "It may not be Alice who slays you." He shrugged his shoulders and began to turn away slightly, allowing Stayne the chance to walk off, but he didn't.

"I wish the Jabberwocky had murdered you just like he did the Hightopp clan!" Stayne screamed at the two of them. He had also meant for it to hurt both of them; just in different ways.

Without warning, the Hatter cocked back his fist and punched the Knave square in the face. As Stayne had been ill prepared for such a feat, he received the blow full force and was shortly knocked out cold. All seven feet six inches of him hit the ground with a thud. The Hatter was about to attack the unconscious man, when Alice grabbed his arm and called his name. "Never speak ill of Alice or the Hightopps!!" he screamed at the form on the ground. "NEVER!"

"HATTER!" Alice pulled on his arm.

"I'm fine." He squeaked. Alice shook her head and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you, but that wasn't necessary. Now we have to do something about the body." She pointed in disgust. She hadn't wanted to touch Stayne with a ten-foot pole, and now she had to with her hands. A shiver of displeasure ran up her spine. "Don't worry Alice my dear, I have a plan." The Hatter grinned a mischievous smile and grabbed Stayne by the arms, dragging him along the ground. "Follow me!"

- An hour later.

"Did you really have to shove him through that door?" Alice shook her head as laughter erupted from her throat. The Hatter gave a hearty chuckle and spun Alice around in a circle. They had travelled half way across Underland, Hatter still dragging an unconscious Knave, in an attempt to rid Underland of the man. "It's only fair; he did it to me once." Alice couldn't believe it. Stayne had shoved an unconscious Hatter through a door in Wonderland? "And where, pray tell, did you end up?"

"Otherland of course!"

"Otherland?" Alice wasn't quite following anymore. She knew Underland existed; she was in Underland, but Otherland?

"Otherland would be where you are from." Hatter explained as if reading her thoughts. 'Oh. That makes sense now.' Alice nodded to herself, but was still unable to picture Hatter in her world. "Why did he do it?"

"Thought it would be a great practical joke. Though I couldn't see the funny side." Hatter frowned, causing his brows to meet in the middle.

"Oh."

"Yes, yes. I couldn't believe that your worldly flowers were so rude! They didn't even say hello!" Hatter flailed his arms in the air. Alice laughed.

"That's because they don't talk in my world Hatter."

"Why?"

"Because it isn't full of wonder like yours is." He accepted her answer and together they headed back to the tea table. They were to hurry if they wanted to make it by tea time.

"Come, come dear!" Hatter took off at a gallop, Alice following closely behind.

Meanwhile, Ilosovic Stayne lay in a clearing rubbing at his aching face. He never knew the Hatter could punch so hard. Slowly he sat up, he was rather dizzy and didn't want to faint just in case the wench, Alice, was still there.

As colours and objects came back into focus, he realised he was no longer in Underland.

"Damn you Hatter!" he screamed at the skies, causing two small bluebirds to fly off in fright.

Stayne had no idea as to the location of the door the madman had dragged him through, but he had a feeling it would be useless trying to find it. 'He's not as stupid as he looks' the Knave thought to himself as he tried to find anything that resembled a door. Nothing.

Grumbling to himself, he stood, then realised that he was no longer shackled. Someone had set him free. Being set free meant that he was no longer chained to that rancid hand of his former Queen's and he was no longer under rule by that airhead sister of hers. And it was all so because the Hatter had thrown him through a door to the Otherland.

With a whoop of joy, Stayne dashed off in search of a door, a house, a tree, anything in order to get back and taunt the Hatter for his stupidness. And then he would promptly return back here, where he was his own free man.

Yes Ilosovic Stayne definitely liked the sound of that.

Author's Note:

:D

I just had to add in a little encounter with the Knave. It was too good to pass up.

Reviews help to create magic!