Hi again!! I know I haven't updated in about a week, but my computer kinda crashed –evil glares at said computer-. The good thing is though, my stuff was saved on my USB, so yeah…Thanks for being so patient!
Anyway, special thanks yet again to the main culprits – Miss Bliss03 and TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes, who personally requested to be featured in this chapter in exchange for a cyber lollipop.
Disclaimer: I might not be a famous author now, but hopefully I might be in my next life –cough- Stephenie Meyer –cough-
TDIB: Welcome again! In reference to last time, I'm sorry for my sad attempt at pissing off Carlisle. I was trying to prove that even calm, compassionate vampires have their limits –awkward laugh-. Anywho, our guest today is not to be underestimated. She is like a toffee apple that has passed its used-by date – sweet on the outside, nasty on the inside. Please welcome, if you don't want a really bad migraine: Demon Child Jane!!
-Fan girls clap as DCJ walks on stage with a smug look on her face-
TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Rest of Fans: …
TDIB: …Um, okay then…Welcome to the show Jane! How are you today?
DCJ: Fabulous, as usual. Every vampire I know in the Volturi always goes out of their way to be on my good side!
TDIB: …Right…so, er, about your special little talent…when do you use it?
DCJ: -smiling- Whenever I want to; it's so useful sometimes, especially when someone pisses me off, or when I'm just plain bored. Seeing other people in pain…it's like watching someone getting kicked in the groin, only a hundred times better –laughs-.
TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes: YAY JANE!! YOU GO GIRL!!
Random Fan Girl: (To TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes) Shut up and get lost, you freak!
TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes: -stands up- Fine, I will! –Storms out of the building-
TDIB: -nods to DCJ- …So…How often do you use it?
DCJ: -thinking- Hmmm…maybe around about twenty times a day, even more when Aro steals my voodoo dolls…
TDIB: Wait, voodoo dolls?
DCJ: Yeah, I make little voodoo dolls of everyone I know. Aro, Caius, Heidi, even Marcus. However, the funny thing is, when I wished for something on a particular doll, it happens to the corresponding person a few minutes later. Take the example of Aro last week. When I wished for Aro to have his library of comics and chess books to be burnt, he came running to my room dry sobbing about his 'Check-mating for Dummies' being in ashes five minutes later. He later tried to decapitate Felix for the deed after I told Aro it was him. But to be honest with you, I kinda felt sorry for Felix; it wasn't actually him who set fire to the library. Mind you, I really had nothing to do with it –cackles-.
TDIB: Yeah, of course no-
-TDIB is interrupted by TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes, who comes running on stage towards DCJ with a pen and a copy of New Moon-
TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes: -jumping up and down- Oh my God, Jane! I'm like, your biggest fan! Please sign my book, PLEASE!!
TDIB: -stands up and points at TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes – Hey! How did you get past the security?!
TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes: -snorts- You call them security?! They were outside in the nearby park playing Cops and Robbers when I snuck backstage.
TDIB: Damn…maybe I should've gotten guards with a larger attention span an-
TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes: -squeals- JANE!! –Jumps up and rugby tackles DCJ-
TDIB: (To TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes) Erm, I don't think that's a spectacular idea, considering the fact th-
TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes: Can I have your autograph, please? Oh an- OWWW!! -Rolls on the floor while clutching head in pain- HOLY SON OF A –enter a long string of profanities that almost broke the censor machine-.
DCJ: -evil laugh- MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! –Looks towards the fan girls- WHO'S NEXT?!
-Dramatic silence-
Everyone else besides DCJ: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! –Runs off towards the nearest exit.-
DCJ: -after a minute- …Hey! You forgot your book!
Hope you enjoyed that as much as the lollipop I was eating (Mmm…sugary and pixel-ley goodness all in one…)
Up next: Mr Banner!!