Vanyel reminded himself that the plan was business as usual, lest anyone realize that he and Tylendel were planning anything for Sovvan. Tylendel reasoned that for Vanyel to suddenly change his plans a week before, would seem too suspicious; though he had made it clear again upon his return that his desire for revenge was paramount over anything else, and that if Vanyel couldn't be trusted he would find a solution quite readily. Unsure if it was even safe to sleep, Vanyel had spent most of the night awake, first waiting for Tylendel to return back to their rooms, and then for him to finally set aside the recopied spells and go to sleep. Once he had finally seemed to exhaust himself enough to collapse into sleep, Vanyel slipped from the bed to look over the pages, slipping them from under the binding of one of 'Lendel's text books. He furrowed his brow, checking over his shoulder when he saw the pages. The same pages he had watched Tylendel carefully copy from Savil's text; had been worn nearly inkless withTylendel's constant handling. Only a few words, away from the creases and edges where Tylendel's fingers rubbed were still visible.
But- I could have sworn he was reading- He looked again back at Tylendel, sprawled out on what had been their bed for the past few months. Even in the dim candlelight, his face was tense and drawn, a shadow of the playful, bright Trainee who had taken Vanyel under his wing and fallen in love with him. Who are you now, 'Lendel?
In the morning, Vanyel had bathed, and scrubbed traces of tears from his cheeks. He spent most of his morning classes trying not to yawn, and doing his best to avoid the attention of anyone who knew him. He felt a strange combination of guilt and relief that Tylendel was out when he stopped into their room briefly to change into lighter clothing for working in the salle. In some ways, it was a relief to be able to follow his routine by rote, propelling him forward through the day. I- can only hope that he'll be back to normal, once all this over. That he'll see me and love me again.
He kept his chin lifted, doing his best to give off his usual icy persona, lest someone attempt to make small talk. "Hello Raveyne." He nodded coolly to Raveyne, putting all thoughts of waking up in his bed out if his head. Especially the soft hurt look in his eyes when Vanyel had nearly sprinted from his quarters.
You are a mess. Raveyne thought as he tipped his head to the side thoughtfully, his eyes focusing on the aura around and within Vanyel rather than his chill exterior. The colors swirled unhappily in shades of ill green and maroon around Vanyel, coming in to sharp focus when Raveyne focused his Sight on them. He furrowed his brow and reached toward Vanyel, squeezing his fingers lightly. "You- come walk with me."
"I thought we had an appointment to go over my footwork this afternoon?"Vanyel lifted his chin a little, taking his hand back. "If you don't have time, I have some reading I can do."
"No. I have time for you. I want to walk." He took Vanyel's hand again, and led him out of the salle, padding along the stone walkway through the gardens. At this time of year, the gardens were mostly sticks and dried leaves, and generally unpopulated. During the summer, the benches and hideaways attracted courters and mischief makers alike, but once classes were in full swing and the chill weather set in, the broad gardens were devoid of other humans. Vanyel realized, even walking with Raveyne- he was still the only human occupying the gardens, and the thought gave him pause.
"I like- this time." Raveyne nodded a little, and for a moment Vanyel was unsure if he was being spoken to, or if Raveyne was merely talking to himself. "Cold- Autumn. Leaves. Quiet. Time for- harvest."
Vanyel nodded, kicking apart a pile of leaves, shuddering and wiping quickly at his boot when the gold spray of leaves also awoke a nest of aphids that immediately took a liking to his boot. He grimaced, kicking his foot, grabbing Raveyne's arm to keep from falling over while he took his boot off to shake it out. "Ughhh-" He shook his head, shivering a little. Raveyne smiled slightly, one corner of his mouth pulling up, and he rested a hand on the small of Vanyel's back, holding him steady.
"Sorry-" Vanyel muttered an apology, slowly releasing Raveyne from his grip.
Raveyne nodded quietly, and took a moment to brush a piece of Vanyel's hair back away from his face. "Autumn- I think always- feels some sad too. It feels like- the end." He offered a small smile, shrugging, "Also it is- when I was born. So it- is a strange time."
"Your- birthday is in Autumn?" Vanyel frowned and wove slowly through the garden paths next to Raveyne. He opened his mouth a few times to speak, not sure what he else he might say though. "Would you- tell me? About you?"
"What would you know?" Raveyne laughed, "Tell me you? Who is you?"
"Who am I, you mean." Vanyel corrected automatically, sinking down onto one of the benches, slightly shielded by a curtain of red and gold leaves.
"So? Who- are you?" He quirked an eye brow and took a seat next to Vanyel, tucking one foot up onto the bench, he wrapped his arms around his knee.
"I'm- I'm Vanyel- I-"He blinked, looking down at the space between his feet. His fingers wound together nervously as he chewed on his lower lip. He ran through possible answers in his head, I'm- Savil's nephew. My father's, Withen Ashkevron's, son. Tylendel's lover. Lissa's brother. Jervis' whipping boy."
Raveyne nodded thoughtfully. "You- belong to other people? Savil's, father's, Tylendel's- who is Vanyel, without them?"
Vanyel blinked back at him, rethinking his answers. Raveyne had a point, everything he might be, seemed to be associated with someone else's name. His delicate brow knotted with thought, and he chewed nervously at the edge of his thumbnail. "I- I'm-" He frowned, shaking his head, "I don't- I don't know."
The other boy shrugged, resting an arm across Vanyel's shoulder, ruffling his long hair gently. "How then, to tell- who you are? Who am I then?" He smiled and tugged Vanyel over to hug him against his side. "Good question, Peacock."
Vanyel frowned, but let himself be held for a moment. He looked up at Raveyne, gingerly tucking anarm around his waist. "You- didn't answer my question. At least- I tried to answer yours-"
"I- was part of a family. I left, because it was not a good place for me." He shook his head, looking down at Vanyel, petting his hair gently. He let himself toy with the dark silken strands for a moment, smiling wistfully. "Your father- hard for you. Mine- same." He shook his head, and his eyes took on a pale green sheen, filling with sorrow for a moment. Raveyne lifted Vanyel's hand, guiding it to his slightly crooked nose, then to the uneven line of his jaw. He pressed Vanyel's fingers against his jaw, and Vanyel blinked a little, running his fingers across the place where the bones had reknit a little off, probably many years ago.
My father- was- gruff toward me. He- wanted me to be someone else, but he didn't- Jervis beat on me, and he let him, but- he didn't- not- like that- He sucked his lower lip between his teeth, meeting Raveyne's eyes. "I'm sorry."
Raveyne shrugged and soothed himself by petting Vanyel's hair. "Long time ago. Long long ago. I- left. Traveled- many years. Far, far to the South. Always it is like Summer there. Hot. Trees so high they make a second sky. People who live in trees, like Tayledras. Elves. Small. Smaller than you. Ears like mine. Only more so. They use- mind magics. Speak with no words. All in mind. I- do not. I learn- to listen." He nodded, winding his fingers through Vanyel's hair, looking down at his pale upturned face.
"But- what about you? Did- how did you get down there?" Vanyel looked up, shifting to be a little more comfortable, resting his head against Raveyne's thigh, looking up at him.
Raveyne motioned with his fingers, making a walking motion. "Walk. Feet. Long time." He nodded, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear.
"But where did you stay?" Vanyel reached up tentatively and traced his index finger over Raveyne's ear. He watched Raveyne's eyes, despite the pointed difference in appearance, it just felt like an ear, a little soft, and yielding, chilled in the cool autumn air.
"Out. Warm- I stay out. Cold-" Raveyne sighed and took Vanyel's hand, and smoothed his hand over the back of it. "Still—out. Tent. Build fire, stay close." The corner of his mouth pulled into a faint grimace and Raveyne shook his head.
"By yourself?" The question came up from his lap, and Raveyne looked down, shrugging a little.
"Alone. I-"He shook his head, pressing his lips together. "Empath- with no shield- no—filter. Could not- keep other people out. All their feelings, I feel." He swallowed hard, closing his eyes to avoid Vanyel's glance. "I knew always- what people felt. Of me. I knew- my father—did not want me. Wanted- ah- not fey- you call shay a'chern. Knew- when others only wanted- a body, a face- not more-" He opened his eyes slowly and looked up, tipping his head back against the bench. He exhaled shakily, blinking a few times. "Too much- feeling- from other people- could never- be close to them. Until I come here- always—outside. To be too close- too much pain." He shrugged and brushed himself off mentally, giving Vanyel his attention again. "Until- Ilia, come for me. I come here. Learn, Shield myself. Now- not so alone."
Vanyel sat up and cupped Raveyne's cheek in his hand, so that the older boy's head turned to look at him. "I am sorry- Raveyne." He ducked his head a little and wrapped his arms around Raveyne's shoulders, hugging him gently. You haven't been anything but kind to me, and I haven't done anything but shut you out for it.
"Why?" Raveyne asked, and lifted is head to see Vanyel's face.
"Because- I haven't been very nice to you. You've- worked with me, you let me stay in your room and cry all over you in the middle of the night, and half the time I act like I don't know who you are when we pass in the hallway-" He bent his head shamefully, cursing his own selfishness.
"Peacock-" Raveyne's voice was gently chiding and he lifted Vanyel's chin in his hand. "Stop. You- are nice. You work with me, when I cannot- speak right. Visit me in my room- you are the only one to. And lots of- space- in public." He winked playfully, running his finger slowly down the perfect line of Vanyel's nose.
Vanyel's eyes crossed to follow Raveyne's finger, reaching forward to put his arms gently around the other boy's shoulders, hugging him as Raveyne had done for him earlier. He petted his hair gently, closing his eyes. It was nice to be able to sit with someone else quietly, and just be held for a moment. Even Lissa had started to insist he was getting too old for such things before he left Forst Reach. He'd never really returned the favor to Tylendel either. Before Staven's death, Tylendel had always been the one to comfort him, and now- he remained beyond reach.
He looked back at Raveyne, smiling bemusedly. He stroked his finger slowly down the uneven line of Raveyne's nose. "Your father- broke your nose." His silver eyes met Raveyne's and his heart twisted a little sadly. "Before I came here- Jervis- broke my arm, a little before I came here. He- is the armsmaster at my father's house. I just wanted- to show that I the- hack and slash methods- weren't the only way. That- I could find another way to do things; that would work better for me."
Raveyne nodded quietly, and lifted Vanyel's hand, kissing his palm. "I would have- my father see- fey, shaych was- work better for me. He- disagree. Jervis-" He ran his palm slowly over Vanyel's arm, "disagree?"
"He did." Vanyel nodded, looking down at Raveyne's hand. They sat quietly for a moment, with Raveyne's hand warming his arm against the chill. Vanyel nodded, and worried his lower lip. He leaned over, and kissed Raveyne's cheek, letting his lips linger for a moment.
Raveyne looked back at him, half smiling, squeezing Vanyel's hand. "We should- go more inside, Peacock. Too cold, out here." He nodded, standing up, taking the other boy's hand, patting his shoulder. "Too cold."