Author's Notes: 09/25/2017 This one came to mind and fruition about a week or so ago. Nothing spectacular here, just trying to get in the rhythm of writing again. Got bored at a dog show a few times, and started writing.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that is Rurouni Kenshin.

May 14th: Part 1

Who smiled first? She swore on her father's grave it was Kenshin. But-maybe, just…maybe-it was her. She swore on her father's grave, it was Kenshin. She was the reason he stopped wandering, the reason he came back to her dojo time after time. He smiled for her on that one faithful day; a wanderer turned away from his past, and for once in his life, found a place to call home. Home… was this dojo really a home? His home? Was this dojo enough for him to stay? She could only imagine the cold, wet, lonely nights he had to endure…alone. Why this path once again, why now? The luminous moon and her delicate rays of light were perhaps the only kindred hands that fervently kissed the contour of Kenshin's youthful cheeks as he slept, alone, with his back hard-pressed against a tree. Where was he now, she wondered. And she took the last bit of energy she had to carelessly turn on her side.

The makura which cradled her head remained damp, drenched with her tears of rage, frustration, her tears of depression, sadness. How could she allow herself such comfort? Kaoru was cradled in a warm futon with a blanket, with the luxuries of food, of shelter-the security of a home. What about him? These questions stampeded in her mind, her emotions a mixed array of confusion and a deep sea of misunderstanding. Her shoulder protested its agony, so she adjusted her body so that she lay on her back. The dead, white-washed wall mocked her in its silence and inability to move. She dwelled on the idea of the wall's inert state. This thought infuriated her, and for a swift second, Kaoru wanted to get up out of bed and run after Kenshin. No movement. She didn't even budge; not a finger fidgeted.

Her gaze on the wall hazed into a cloud of emptiness and she replayed earlier events of the day in her mind. She waited up for Kenshin, having heard news of Okubo's assassination. Yahiko and Sanosuke headed out into the city, too concerned about Kenshin to stay put at the dojo. However, she had this idea, although naïve, that she would wait. She would wait for him. For Kenshin. Her arms would be open-welcoming and warm-and she envisioned that he would come back with great news.

She anticipated a selfishly enchanted life with Kenshin. This was a life where time stopped for the both of them as they enjoyed each other's company, a life where two very lonely people did not have to face the world in solitude. Each day, the dojo would chant with many students practicing in the art of a sword style that celebrated life. There was food and clothes and shelter for the both of them. There was love. Do I love Kenshin? Kenshin's future would be birthed on happiness. And she had hoped this happiness would stem from her existence.

This was not the case. She had been too concerned about his decision to see Okubo alone, and so, she waited.

"Kenshin's not going to leave us, Missy," Sanosuke had promised. He had meandered toward Kaoru that afternoon, she recalled, as he ruffled her hair gruffly. "Learn to smile more, will ya? Smile for him. Let him see what he would leave behind if he ever left for Kyoto," Sano smiled.

"He's not going to leave us, Kaoru!" Yahiko had interjected from behind Sano. "Think about it, will you? He's been wandering for 10 whole years, and he finally stopped here. This is his home! Cheer up, Kaoru! We're gonna go find Kenshin and bring him back. Just wait here…." And that was the lasts she saw of the two.

The clock's ticking of time broke her reverie as she blinked back stray tears. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. It was almost 4 in the morning, and sleep was the last thing on Kaoru's mind. To preoccupy the open space that was her imagination, she stood up and found the courage to get out of bed. But was this enough to run after the man she loved?

She could not remember if Yahiko or Sanosuke had returned that night, and out of respect, tiptoed quietly around the dojo halls. Her first instinct was to check the kitchen out of some odd curiosity. The room was barren, empty, just like her heart. She slumped against a wood column, clutching at her yukata. The dishes were left, dirtied and abandoned. There was a lingering smell of miso soup, and a faint scent of sandalwood.

"Kenshin," she silently sobbed into her night gown.

Her eyes surveyed the room, taking into account all of the food Kenshin had stocked in the kitchen. She almost smiled, thinking again about a life that entailed such happiness and simplicity. These were the times of Meiji….

Her gaze drifted toward the knife that was embedded deep into the cutting board. The silver, sharp edge irked her, and she wondered about Kenshin's past. This was the first time, now that she recalled, she's ever scrutinized who and what Kenshin was. The blood must have been an indelible scar, one that was emotionally and psychologically buried in the back of his mind. What was it like to taste and smell life's precious liquor every minute of every hour, she beckoned her imaginings. And the guilt, so haunting. Maybe if she would have understood Kenshin's past a little more, he would have stayed. But, did he love me?

The scent of sandalwood was no more, and Kaoru flung herself from the wood column, rushing towards her room. She stopped in her tracks when she reached the door to Kenshin's chamber. Oh, how she wished that if she slid the shoji, he would be there. What greeted her thirsty eyes was an empty room with an empty futon. Kaoru in a daze stepped forward, as if possessed, and slid the door shut behind her. A familiar scent drifted to her nose, and she inhaled deeply. The smell of him was stronger now. And she did not want to lose this scent of familiarity.

She swore on her father's grave her heart stopped beating the instant Kenshin said goodbye. But she would not allow herself to accept the truth. Kenshin was gone.

"Sayonara…."

The stabbing last words that seeped from Kenshin's beautiful lips stung, but realization of his decision to turn away from her and everything she had to offer was the most crippling in his final embrace.

"How could you Kenshin?" she asked, as if betrayed, stepping closer to his empty futon.

Kaoru savored her last moments with Kenshin, though bittersweet. The feel of his hard body pressed against her so intimately had reminded her of her frailty. It reminded her that she was weak, that she needed protection. She felt the power in his embrace, how he had offered her protection in his arms and that the world had become background noise whenever she was in his presence. It felt like an eternity in his arms. It felt so right. And then he was gone.

She had remained a solid statue frozen in moonlight by the river that night. The cherry blossoms tickled her face, as if taunting her to move, to get up out of her stupor and stop Kenshin. Beg him to stay! Instead, she stood there like a sullen child, crying. And then he vanished into the dark of night. Never to be seen again.

She didn't know her intentions for being in his room, and settled for slipping into his futon. She took the kakebuton and draped it over her body, trying so hard to replicate the same warmth and protection Kenshin's arms afforded. The smell of Kenshin was the strongest here, and this gave her a sense of false hope. She turned to look at the wall where the calendar read: May 14th, 11th Year of Meiji. And then, once more, she cried.