Author's Note:

Thank y'all for all the reviews! Much appreciated.

Rather angst-y chapter here. I wish Rachel and Quinn could live in a world full of fluff and rainbows and chocolate..yes definitely chocolate. But! Life is not fluffy...unfortunately..

Oh and if you want to hear an absolutely amazing song, listen to Fin by Anberlin Great song.

Enjoy.

Chapter 14

I paced around my living room. It's almost 11 PM and I have heard nothing from Quinn. I assumed Camie had to go into surgery but surely it wouldn't take this long? She's been gone almost twenty-four hours.

I looked down at my phone, reading the messages I've sent Quinn..

Yesterday, 11:42 PM: Quinn, please keep me updated when you can. Xoxo

I didn't really expect a message right away seeing as Quinn was probably very busy, I had gone to sleep then.

9:35 AM: Quinn darling, is everything alright?

Maybe her phone was off. I then tried calling her but it dialed and then ended with a cheery 'I'll get back to you when I can' message. So, I concluded, her phone wasn't off.

4:00 PM: You are starting to worry me, please answer.

That was the last message I had sent her today. Let me tell you my mind is going crazy. What if she was kidnapped? Quinn is a strong girl so I doubt that would happen...but my mind strays away when I'm stressed.

I've tried not to think about Quinn today by memorizing the script Santana dropped off, but that only worked until I had actually memorized it all. It was actually a decent story, but I digress..

I fear the worst has happened. Camie didn't make it and Quinn was avoiding me. I thought back to the little boy she had told me about. I know Quinn can't handle another loss like that one. When she told me about him she was bordering on hysteria.

I sighed and dialed her number again. I waited for a few moments but it went to voice mail. Totally expected. I had even called Santana and Brittany to see if they had heard from her, which they hadn't of course.

Wait. I furrowed my brow for a moment, thinking if I had Madison's number. I'm fairly certain Quinn put it in my phone the other day.

I checked under the M's. Sure enough, it was there. I dialed quickly.

"Hello?" I heard her voice chime.

"Hey, it's Rachel. Have you seen Quinn?" I wasted no time with pleasantries. Needless to say Madison was surprised at Quinn and I's new found relationship. However, she is a very accepting person and is just fine with us.

"Why so hasty, Rachel? And no I haven't seen her, is everything okay?"

"Fuck!" I said harshly under my breath. Things are not going well at all.

"Rachel, what's wrong?" Madison asked, worry seeping through her tone.

"Quinn was called to the hospital late last night, I haven't seen her since." I told her, voice cracking a bit. I bit the inside of my cheek, hard. I was not going to get too worked up.

I heard her sigh. "Was it about Camie?" Yeah, Madison knows about Camie.

I nodded, but then realized she can't see me, so I said yes.

"She's done this before." The line was silent for a moment.

"What?" I hissed angrily. So this is a regular thing? Fuck that shit.

"No, no! It's not like she does it all the time, she's done it once, my mistake. It was the day we met, actually."

My thoughts drifted back to when Quinn told me about how she was very drunk when her and Madison met. Quinn didn't tell me why she was in a dark place that day, but then it clicked.

"That was the day her patient Peter died, wasn't it?" I asked quietly.

"Bingo. She was a mess that day. I can only assume she's off somewhere right now, downing shot after shot."

"Well that certainly makes me feel better." I muttered.

Madison's voice softened. "Don't take my word for it just yet, Camie could be alive right now and Quinn is just monitoring her. Who knows?"

"Then why won't she answer her phone?" I argued.

She groaned, "I'm sorry, Rachel. I don't know. But, Quinn is a big girl. She can handle herself."

I smiled despite the situation. "I guess you're right. You've proved to be a good friend, Madison."

I heard her laugh a little. "Thanks. It's so weird. Rachel Berry, star, is rapidly becoming a great friend of mine."

We said our goodbyes, after I told her I'd give her front row tickets to my upcoming show just to make her happy. I'm sure she'd love to see it.

I sat down on the couch, silently praying to God that Quinn would come home soon and everything would turn out fine. Maybe this is all some big misunderstanding. Perhaps she lost her phone or is out celebrating Camie's good health. I scoffed.

Denial is not just a river in Egypt..

My phone chimed and I lunged for it. I read the caller ID before answering frantically.

"Quinn! Thank God. What the hell is going on?"

"Calm down, Rachel, damn. I'm fine..well no.." I heard her hiccup, "I'm not fine. I'm—God I'm drunk."

"Really, Quinn. Really. This is a joke, right?" Pain in the ass.

"Fuck no. I'm not joking. You..you're at your apartment right? I'll be there in five." Another hiccup and then the dial tone.

Well at least she can carry on a proper conversation right now. Let me be the first to petition for a second prohibition law? Of course the first didn't really end well, what with people making alcohol in their bathtubs and the full on riots that occurred, I guess it's not really a good idea. I despise alcohol these days.

How is Quinn even going to manage walking up the stairs without falling flat on her face? I groaned and ran a hand through my hair before slipping some flip flops on. I should just wait outside for her to make sure she doesn't maim herself in the process of getting up here.

I dragged myself off of the couch and went to go open the door to leave, but the door flew open and almost hit me.

"What the hell?" I saw Quinn standing in the doorway, eyes bloodshot and face puffy. I couldn't tell if it was from crying or the alcohol. She must have been close to have gotten up here so quickly.

I watched as she just stood in the doorway, swaying a little. "Quinn..?" I pressed hesitantly.

That must have snapped her out of her stupor because she scowled and barged into the room, literally throwing her coat off. I sighed. Angry Drunk Quinn again.

"I hope you coming home drunk off your ass won't be a regular thing, Quinn." I said bitingly. I need her to know that this is not acceptable. She mumbled something about this not being her home but then raised her voice.

"Don't start with me, Rachel. I've had a long day, I don't need you telling me what to do." She glared at me menacingly and I tried not to flinch.

"Quinn, I'm only looking out for you. This kind of behavior is unacceptable and I will not have it." I stated calmly.

She just stood there, swaying and seething.

I stepped up to her and grasped her hands. She tried to move away but I held her hands firmly. "What happened, Quinn?" I asked softly. No more scolding.

Her eyes flashed with hurt before they turned angry and she yanked her hands away from mine. "God dammit!" she screamed and kicked the couch.

I bit my lip and stepped back, giving her some room. Angry Violent Quinn? Another personality added to the list. My heart ached to just hold her and comfort her, but I wasn't about to risk my well being. Judging from her reaction Camie was no longer here with us. My chest tightened at the thought. She was such a sweet, vibrant little girl.

Quinn huffed angrily and stomped to the back of the apartment into my room. I followed her quickly and made sure to shut the door. I'm not going to let her escape. She stood stock still beside the bed with her back to me, breathing heavily.

"Why are you so angry, Quinn?" I asked softly. Of course, I had a grudging feeling I knew the answer to that question.

Not the best choice of words on my part because she yelled again and threw a pillow in my direction. Okay, now I'm a little bit frightened. Violence, along with alcohol, is something I've come to hate as well.

I toughened up. "Quinn Fabray! You need to control your temper! Are you a fucking child?"

She tensed as I realized what I just said. In two seconds she standing and inch from my face. Fuck my life. I shut my eyes and squeezed them tight, fully expecting her to slap me or something.

After a few moments I felt her step back and I opened my eyes to look at her. She had her arms folded across her chest and she was looking at the ground. "You thought I was going to hit you." she said quietly. It wasn't a question.

She looked up, her eyes were showing a mixture of hurt and fury. "You really think that low of me?"

"You've slapped me before, Quinn." I bit my lip, hard enough to draw blood.

"This isn't high school, Rachel!" she got in my face again. "I'm not running for fucking prom queen, I'm not having fucking boy problems, and I'm not a fucking teenager anymore!" she shouted angrily.

Not giving me time to respond to that little rant, she suddenly attacked my lips hungrily with hers, pushing me against the wall hard enough to hurt. And now we're right back to that drunken night a few weeks ago.

I hesitated about kissing her back, but soon gave in as she swiped her lovely tongue against my bottom lip. I parted them and let her tongue slip into my mouth, moaning. I tasted liquor and...salt?

I cupped her face in my hand and swiped her cheek with my thumb, still kissing her. Feeling wetness that could only be tears, I realized she was crying.

I pulled away. "Quinn.." She stopped me by kissing me again and taking my shirt off. She splayed her hands across my stomach and felt everywhere, her kisses becoming more desperate. It was as if she would never get to kiss me again.

I felt more tears run down her cheek. "Quinn, please stop." I whispered against her lips. She pulled away and started kissing on my neck and I shuddered involuntarily. She started to feel her way up my abs and toward my breasts.

Wanting her to stop, I grabbed her wrists and held them away from me. "Baby...no," I pleaded quietly.

"I need you.." she whispered hoarsely against my neck. I felt my heart crack.

"Not like this, sweetheart." I told her gently. I let go of her wrists and her arms went limp.

"You don't want me?" Her voice cracked as she back away from me for the third time tonight. And now my heart almost split in two.

I didn't dare to move, not wanting to set her off. Instead I spoke quietly.

"Quinn that is preposterous. Of course I want you, so much. But you're hurting right now. Having sex is not the best way to deal with your pain. Our first time shouldn't be like this." I paused and looked at her and my heart officially broke.

Her shoulders were shaking as she cried softly. I felt tears well up in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I grabbed my shirt up off the floor and put it on slowly, watching Quinn the whole time. She obviously has some serious pain to work through. Insecurities, death grief, family problems. I mentally rolled my eyes. I sound like a fucking therapist.

I stepped towards Quinn and she backed away frantically, almost hyperventilating. I walked towards her until she backed away so far that she fell against the foot of the bed to sit down on it. I took this chance to straddle her lap and wrap my arms around her neck. "Let me help you, Quinn." I begged.

She let out a choked sob and wrapped her arms around my back, shoving her face in the crook of my neck. "I would never dream of hitting you, Rach." she spoke through her crying.

I smiled despite myself. That's what she's worried about? "I know, baby."

"Camie died." I heard her sob.

"I know."

"I didn't mean to kick your couch and throw a pillow at you." Sob.

"I know."

"I didn't mean to drink again. I know you don't like it." Another sob.

"I know."

"Stop saying that!" she cried.

"Okay."

"It's my fault she died." she whispered.

"Quinn, stop. It is not." I chastised her gently.

She pulled away to look at me through her tears, but kept a firm hold on me so that I wouldn't fall off of the bed.

"How would you know? I've had years of medical training, you sing and dance. You would not know if it was my fault or not. I should have been with her yesterday, watching her." The sobbing stopped but a fresh wave of tears raced down her face.

"Okay, you're right about my inexperience," I answered quietly. "But I know you're a good doctor. I can easily imagine you did everything you could to save her, but sometimes that isn't enough."

She gripped the bottom of my shirt tightly, sniffling. "I couldn't even face her father. After she died I got away from the hospital as fast as I could. Drank my sorrows away. Obviously it didn't help." She buried her face in the crook of my neck again.

Drinking never helps anything.

"I'm sorry for being an angry drunk." she told me.

I managed a chuckle. "I know."

I woke up a few hours later. I looked around and saw no one in bed with me. Son of a bitch! Quinn better not have run away again...

I got up out of bed and searched through the apartment before noticing the blonde through the window, sitting on a patio chair. And of course, smoking a cigarette.

Relieved she was still here, I walked outside and sat in the chair across from her.

"You know, instead of coping with smokes, perhaps talking about it will make you feel better. It's certainly a healthier option." I stated half-teasingly.

She smiled a bit. "I'll take you up on that, but I'm not giving up smoking all together. Sorry."

I had to refrain from frowning. Smoking...drinking. Cocaine better not be next. I'm a celebrity with celebrity friends. I've seen what cocaine does to people.

"Do you want to talk now? Albeit not drunk. I realize you experienced catharsis last night but you were still under the influence." I said quietly.

She sighed. "There's nothing to talk about." She flicked her cigarette and ashes fell to the ground.

"It wasn't your fault, Quinn." I tried.

Her gaze hardened. "I'm well aware" She sucked on her cigarette.

"Are you still angry?"

Her eyes flickered to mine. "Yes." she stated calmly.

I took a deep breath. "Please don't take this the wrong way but..have you seen anyone about your anger?"

She chuckled darkly. I do not like this Quinn. Where's Nerdy Quinn? Charming Quinn?

"No I haven't. If you ignore the problem, it goes away right?" she said sarcastically. I knew this was her parent's philosophy back in Lima. Everyone knew this.

"Just consider it, Quinn." We sat in silence for a few moments.

"Do you work today or...?" I trailed off, wondering if work was a touchy subject.

"No, they gave me a few days off. Mental fuck ups can't perform surgery." she smiled crookedly.

I cringed at her choice of words and shrugged. "Come to Central Park with me?" It was a bit chilly outside due to the fall air, but it was a nice day nonetheless.

She grinned at me. A real grin. "That sounds lovely, Rach."

We walked hand in hand through central park. Enjoying each other's company. Quinn's eyes were still a bit bloodshot and she looked very tired, but she seemed to be having a good enough time.

After enough walking we took a seat in the grass by the lake. She laid her head down in my lap and twirled her hair, eyes closed. I smiled at how comfortable this was, easy.

"What book are you reading right now, Quinn?" What? I'm curious.

She peered up at me through one eye and smiled. "That's a rather random question."

"Just answer my question, Fabray." I teased.

"The Da Vinci Code." she answered, closing her eye again. And Nerdy Quinn is back.

I laughed. "That's a cliché."

She lifted her head up and stared at me. "Have you read it? It's a great book. This is probably my tenth time reading it."

I stuck my tongue out. "No I have not read it. It doesn't seem like my type of book."

She gaped at me. "You're going to read it, starting tonight."

I blinked at her. "Are you kidding me?" I groaned and laid down in the grass. I don't want to read that monster of a book. There is so much controversy surrounding it. I'd rather avoid reading it as long as I can. Which apparently is only until tonight.

She laughed and crawled up to lay beside me. She propped her head up with her arm. "You're going to read it no matter what. I want you too!"

"But you're reading it right now!" I protested weakly.

"I've read it beforeeee!" I laughed as she drew the word out childishly. "Please read it! You won't regret it!" she stuck her bottom lip out and pouted.

I chuckled and ran a hand through my hair. "Fine..fine! How can I say no?" I looked at her and she smiled warmly before bringing her lips to mine.

She kissed me lightly and pulled away. "Thank you."

"For agreeing to read your dumb book? No problem, Blondie."

She rolled her eyes and slapped my arm playfully. "No. For making today better than yesterday. When this...happened with Peter. I had no one to turn to. Well maybe Madison but we had just met. But anyway, thank you."

My heart fluttered shamelessly and I grinned at her before kissing those amazing lips. "Again, not a problem."

She chuckled and laid her head down on my shoulder and I sighed in content. It's heartbreaking yes, that that sweet, wonderful little girl had passed, but she was in a better place now I suppose. I'm just glad Quinn is able to lean on someone this time around.

Review!

Not too harshly considering I let a little girl die in my story...

It had to be done! Quinn and Rachel need to evolve!

xoxo