A/N - You guys are awefully silent lately. My reviewers have gone to sleep when I didn't notice apparently. Come back? Anyways, for the one comment saying it's a love square, Gale is far away from the race at the moment, so no square here. Also I wouldn't even call it a triangle if you know what I mean, but yeah, Katniss knows better :) Enjoy and don't forget to review!

With A Heavy Heart

Katniss could clearly feel Finnick's breathe coming short when Peeta finally broke the tense silence in the room.
He simply turned his head around and looked at Haymitch for a moment.

"I might not be ready after all", he said, his eyebrows furrowed.
Haymitch seemed to be startled by the unexpected referral and looked at Peeta with confusion.

"Ah, what? Yeah…" he mumbled uncharacteristically, obviously dumbstruck.
He blinked furiously and shook his head, gaining back his composure. Katniss wasn't sure about the cause of his reaction, since he was basically the first to know she and Finnick had a thing, and he had nothing to be surprised
about.

"You got discharged, you're definitely ready kid", Haymitch responded, one of his eyes wandering to look at their direction and the other one looking at Peeta. Peeta shook his head, showing his disagreement, and walked out of
the room.

"Apparently I'm not", he said with a low voice, full of hurt.

Katniss found herself short of breath as well as she was holding it for too long.
She tried to get up but stumbled violently, almost falling to the ground. Finnick grabbed her wrist and balanced her, his grip so firm he nearly split her hand in two. She placed both of her hands on her knees and looked around the small room helplessly, her eyes landing on Haymitch at last. He seemed angry, mad, or just both.

"Go, just go", he hissed to her, showing his approval with a slight nod of his head.

Her legs moved towards the door automatically, quickening her pace with every passing second. Finnick got up from the stool and moved towards the door as well. Haymitch simply blocked him by laying a hand on his shoulder, preventing any further movement from him.

"You stay here", Haymitch commanded, his voice cold as ice. Finnick looked at him in the eye, measuring his chances. He could have toppled Haymitch quite easily, one punch in the right place and he would be paralyzed for a good measure of time, leaving the choice in his hands so he could catch up with Katniss.

"Don't even think about it", Haymitch plainly said with a small smile. Finnick smiled sourly back.
Haymitch looked at the clock etched on his arm with blue, digital ink and sighed heavily.
"We have eight minutes, do you know anything about camera equipment?" he asked, his eyebrow uplifted.

"Why are you running?" She heard Peeta's voice as she crossed another hallway in search for him.

She stopped on her tracks. Her burning lungs got her to realize she hasn't even noticed she's been running for quite some time. She looked around and found Peeta, leaning on a wall with a look of defeat not far from her. She walked towards the counter wall and leaned on it as well, her eyes buried in the floor.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice so small, it nearly came out as a whisper.

"I got discharged. They said I was fine and I am able to participate in whatever activity they assign me to. I wanted to surprise you, but...", Peeta answered with a bit of formality in his voice, trying to disguise the trembling.
Katniss nodded in response, a shadow of a smile plastered on her lips.

"That's… good, I… I'm happy for you", she said slowly, trying to formulate the words.
He got himself back to a standing position and started walking again. His move caught her by surprise, but she still managed to quickly follow his lead.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I might as well hospitalize myself again", he answered with a calm voice.

"What? Why would you do that?" she asked, a shade of panic in her voice. She knew he tried to harm himself several times ever since he's been back.

"Since everything you told me was a lie", he yelled this time, stopping on his tracks. Her heart started beating faster. She tried to approach him, yet he just started walking again, hiding his face from her sight, his steps loud with anger.

"It wasn't, I swear, it wasn't", she said with desperation, trying to catch up with his furious pace. She started running again.
He stopped again, turning around this time, a single tear shining on his right cheek.

"I don't know what's real anymore, and it's all because of you", he spat angrily, not able to control his shaky voice.

"It's not true, I can help you, nothing has changed", she answered weakly, looking for his eyes. He averted his gaze to the floor.

"It's easy for you to say. You've been here all along, you could have said anything and I would have bought it", he said bitterly, wiping the tears out of his cheeks with the back of his hand.

"Let me prove it to you then", she offered, taking another step towards him.

"How?" he replied, lifting his head upwards to face her.

"Ask me anything, real or not real. You have access to a lot of people now since you're not bound to your hospital bed anymore, so you can validate the information later if you'd like", she explained, surprised by her own move. She never thought it would come to that, to him questioning her realiability, not like this, and he hasn't even spoken a word about Finnick yet. A part of her hoped he wouldn't.
Peeta chuckled bitterly.

"I don't think anyone would be able to validate this".
Katniss cocked her head aside a little, a puzzled look on her face.

"You love me, real or not real?" he asked, watching as Katniss's expression changed from confusion to hurt and uncertainty.
She clenched her jaw, not removing her gaze from his.
She kept silent.
There was no use to act like she misunderstood his meaning. They both knew what her answer would mean.
Peeta nodded when nothing came out of her mouth.

"Look, Finnick and I-" she started, hoping he would understand.

"I don't want to talk about it", Peeta dismissed her, turning from her again, yet staying put for just a moment longer.
Katniss choked on her words, mumbling a low "I…" and retreating again, feeling her throat clenching.

"Maybe tomorrow then, Katniss", Peeta said as he started walking away from her, "Maybe tomorrow", he repeated and disappeared from her sight.

Katniss closed her eyes as tears started to flow down her cheeks.
She remembered these words. A light flash of blood, a dagger, Prim, a flying Mockingjay, Peeta… it all appeared and disappeared as she opened her eyes again, finding the hallway as empty as it was before, the lights dimmed.
She started walking back, her feet barely dragging her body around. She knew it was far from over, and the thought only made her quiver. She wasn't ready, she's never ready.

"Godammit, I can't understand any of this", Finnick hissed in frustration as he continued pressing multiple buttons at

once.
"Stupid Capitol made shit, it's like they're against making things simple", Haymitch grumbled as he too pushed an endless amount of buttons.

"Are you sure you saw-"

"I'm sure. I know what I saw, we only have a minute before these morons come back", Haymitch replied swiftly, moving his fingers even faster.

"Is everything okay?" They heard Cressida's voice greeting Katniss from the back of the room.

Finnick and Haymitch took it as a cue to leave the equipment and take a few steps back as if nothing happened.
Katniss looked like a mess as she entered the room, followed by Cressida, Pullox and Castor. She wasn't the same Katniss who left the room only ten minutes ago. She was broken.
Finnick hurried over to her, but was stopped again by Haymitch, who placed his palm on his chest.

"Don't", he hissed as low as he could. Finnick struggled with himself for a moment, yet decided against it and stayed put, a miserable look in his eyes.

"Would you like to take a moment? We can wait", Cressida offered to Katniss, touching her shoulder with affection.

"No, no, I'll just… sit here", Katniss said weakly, taking Cressida's offer.
She lowered herself to the floor and brought her knees to her chin.

"Okay then, you two, have a seat", Cressida referred to Haymitch and Finnick, "and Pullox, can you please check the equipment and make sure everything stands still?"
Haymitch tensed, cursing everything and everyone. Finnick only looked at him with worry, hoping they might have succeeded by accident after all.
As he operated the camera, Pullox signaled for his brother to come near, his eyebrows furrowed. Something was wrong.

"Shit, shit", Finnick murmured.

"Pullox says the camera stayed on during the break", Castor announced, a look of indifference on his face. Cressida hurried towards the two.

"Let me see", she said and Pullox moved aside, letting her operate the camera instead.
She pushed a few buttons and the white canvas behind the stool turned into a screen.
The screen showed Finnick sitting there, an empty look in his eyes. A moment later, Katniss joined him. Everyone in the room could clearly hear the exchange. And then they kissed. Katniss lifted her head from her knees and watched the entire thing in horror, her eyes wide.

"Fuck", Haymitch said and rubbed his forehead.
Cressida quickly stopped the footage just as the camera captured Peeta's arrival in the middle of the kiss, his lips clenched, eyes dark from hurt and surprise.

"Eh… okay then, Pullox get it off there, and just eh… delete it, we don't need that part", Cressida said, obviously uncomfortable.

Finnick sighed in relief. The crew seemed trust worthy enough, and he knew they wouldn't say a thing.
He looked over at Katniss, new tears in her eyes. He wanted to hold her, but realized Haymitch would simply stop him again from going.

"I wouldn't necessarily do that", they heard a new voice, coming from the door as Pullox reached the camera again, his fingers in air, ready to do what he was commanded to.

"Move aside, don't do anything", Coin said in a harsh tone, her lips curved into a smile.
Pullox took a couple of steps back, bowing his head down like he was taught to do when he was still an Avox in the service of the Capitol.

"I just came to see everything was going well," Coin said, her gaze falling on Finnick, who stirred in anger, ready to jump up and strangle her, "Surely, everything is well", Coin smirked when she noticed Finnick's inner conflict.

"Soldiers Odair, Everdeen", she bowed her head in recognition and turned to leave, completely ignoring Haymitch's presence.

"Wait, about the footage-" Cressida called after her.

"Leave it on", Coin said, not facing them, "It would be great for the propos", she added lastly and left.

Finnick sank further into the floor.
Katniss jumped and started running towards the exit, deep hatred in her eyes.
Finnick reacted quickly, got up and stopped her, forced to absorb every curse and blow from her fists.

"Let me go! Let me kill her!" Katniss screamed in agony, struggling to free herself.

"No killings, not today", Haymitch intervened, helping Finnick by grabbing both of her arms, dragging her to the other side of the room.

"Get off me! Get off me!" she screamed, throwing her fists in the air and kicking both of the men with her strong legs.

"Calm down, please, calm down", Finnick pleaded, growing desperate with every passing second as it got worse. Her nails found their way to his arm, drawing thick blood.
Finnick growled in pain yet tightened his grip.
She grew weary after a couple of minutes, and started crying hysterically again.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry", she tried to apologize to Finnick, letting him pull her into his chest. He held her closely, stroking her back with his good arm. The wound in the other one switched colors as blood continued flowing down to his fingers.

He ignored the pain so he could hold her for a while longer. The pain in his chest was so much worse. Haymitch nodded, finally granting Finnick the permission he needed and left the room with the crew. Filming was done for today. He closed his eyes and cherished the feeling of her against him, fitting perfectly into him like a puzzle.
"It's okay", he whispered as her sobs quieted down gradually.

"I love you", he told her softly and it felt right as it could be.