Day 5: Part 2

James

James.

James, James.

James, James, James.

Every muscle in my body locked. James was leaning against the island counter, holding a half-eaten bagel between his hands. Judging by the small pulp of that bagel that remained, he had spent some time kneading the rough dough in our absence. That distinct nervous and vaguely aggressive behavior caused a spike in my anxiety.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Alice bent her head back so she could roll her eyes towards me. "James James?"

A large, self-satisfied smirk slowly spread itself across his face. "The one and only, baby."

"Did you invite him here?" she asked me and before I was able to respond, she looked back at James. "Doesn't matter. Get the fuck out of here, dipshit."

He pushed himself off the island it with his hip. "No need to be afraid, honey," he said. "I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to have a little chat with Bella." He pulled a contemplative face and transferred the bagel in one had so he could scratch at the stubble under his chin. "Funny, I thought this house would have some sort of alarm or something."

I felt Alice tense. She hesitated. "There is, asshole," she spat after a moment. "Cameras, too. The alarm system wasn't turned on but the cameras sure as hell are working. Don't worry, the cops will be here any second."

James took a step towards us and even though Alice was between him and me, I took a step back.

"Nope," he said. "Don't think so. I've been here for – " he checked his wrist, which didn't have a watch on it, " – I dunno, four hours or so. Either the cops in this part of town suck ass or you're a fucking liar. I'm betting on the second one."

"It's almost dinner time," Alice said. "Edward will be back soon and trust me, you do not want to fuck with Edward."

"Edward?" James asked, pursing his lips. "The skinny pale guy? Yeah, I don't think he'll be a problem for me."

He tossed the bagel onto the floor and took another step towards us and Alice matched him with a step forward. Her tiny body was absolutely radiating with anger, causing the muscles in her arms and neck to vibrate. Her little hands were balled into furious fists and I tried to open my mouth to tell her to run, but the only thing that can out was a soft whoosh of air.

"If you don't leave in five fucking seconds, I'm going to rip your goddamn balls off," she said.

If I had been able to move a single muscle, I would have laughed. Her scare tactics may have worked just fine on me, but without a floor lamp to brandish at him, her little body was at a greater risk than mine.

But his face.

James was an asshole, yes. And a douchebag and a bad person and an egocentric, manipulative, aggressive prick that would as soon beat the shit out of any girl as he would a guy. But he had been my Dom. My first Dom. My only Dom. I had flailed about in some awkward, unstable middle ground since him, tying to fight the parallel forces of wanting desperately to gain my own independence and almost begging any man who passed me on the street to take me. Mixed in with my terror was an indefinable pain; a feeling that began in my chest and spread outward, until the sheer volume of it made me drowsy. I wanted to close my eyes.

"Okay, fine," Alice said, reaching into her purse. "I'll call the cops myself."

But how to warn her? How to tell her that he was about to rip the fucking phone out of her hands and break it before breaking her, while being unable to fucking move out of pure, unadulterated terror? I opened my mouth to try to speak again, but only a strangled moan of protest moved past my lips.

James's face brightened. "Why, Bella. Is that a moan for me?"

He slinked another few steps towards us and Alice matched his stride again until there were only a few feet between them. He sneered at her.

"Get out of the way, princess."

"I'm sorry," Alice said, her voice now condescendingly patient. "You must not have heard me. Get. Out."

He straightened himself and crossed his arms on his chest. He looked down at her. "I was afraid of this," he said, sighing. "You know what's strange?"

"What?"

He grinned and uncrossed one arm to reach into his back pocket. "Who actually owns a machete nowadays? I thought they were only for restaurants or some shit." He pulled a staggeringly large knife out of his back pocket by the handle. He held it up and let it twirl a little between his fingers. The overhead kitchen light gave it a nasty gleam as it moved. "I guess in a house this big . . ."

Alice gasped and before she could move, he lunged at her, pulling on one of her arms until she spun in towards his chest. He put his free hand across her shoulder until he could grip her opposite bicep. The knife went to her throat.

"Now, Bella," he said, his voice just as calm, if not a little more out of breath. "I'd like to talk to you."

"Bella," Alice croaked. "Call the cops."

I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly, feeling the tightened muscles in my neck protest the movement.

"Ah, Bella knows, Alice," James said. "She knows it won't make a difference. Anything I need to do to that tight little body of yours will be done long before they get here."

"W-What do you want?" Alice said, pushing her head tighter against James's shirt as he pressed the blade more firmly to her neck. The edge of the knife caused the thin skin of her throat to wrap around the blade, turning it white. My stomach tightened.

He spoke slowly. "I want to talk to Bella."

Alice looked at me. When I didn't move she shrieked. "Bella! Do something!"

I opened my mouth for the third time, noting the wet, sucking sound it made as my lips parted. I willed my body to move, to do something, anything. But James's presence here, in Edward's kitchen, enveloped me in that helpless, pathetic role of James's sub; one who became so lifeless and inhuman that nothing outside of placating him seemed relevant. Logically, I knew I should go up to him and punch him or kick him or scream in the hopes of startling him into inaction, but a greater and more sinister part of me wanted to disregard Alice and bend to him.

And so I did.

"Just to talk," I whispered.

James smiled. "Just to talk." He looked down at Alice. "But what to do with you while we talk?"

Her purse was still latched around her shoulder and he uncurled his fingers from her bicep to dig through it. I noticed the shocking whiteness of her skin where his fingers had been and I winced, knowing the exact shape and type of bruises Alice would have tomorrow.

James began throwing items from Alice's massive purse on the ground. Finally, he dug out a set of keys and jingled them in front of her face. "I think the trunk will do quite nicely. The trunk, perhaps?"

Fear wiped all the color from Alice's face and her mouth gaped. "N-No, not the trunk."

"Yeah, the trunk," he said.

The color quickly returned to her face, leaving it blotchy and mismatched. "Fine," she spat.

James narrows his eyes at the top of her head. I wanted to punch her. She had been too obvious. Whatever little plan she had just developed in her head had been given away by her sudden acquiescence. You little bitch, I thought furiously, who the fuck says "fine" when they're about to be thrown into a fucking trunk?

I wanted to let him do it.

"Hmm," James said, "I think not. The bathroom might do, though."

Alice began to struggle against his grip. He outweighed her so considerably that his expression didn't change as she wiggled her little body under his arm.

"Don't be stupid," he barked. "You," he said, bowing his head at me in a jerky motion, "come with us."

And I did. My body, which had been so firmly cemented on the ground I couldn't even consider acting on the "fight or flight" dilemma, bent easily to his command. I wanted to cry. Embarrassment made me unable to continue looking at Alice; the weakness I could feel rolling off of me in heated waves made it impossible to do anything else than what I was trained to do, wanted to do: listen to James.

I followed them across the kitchen and into the adjoining hallway.

"Open the door, Bella," James said and I took a hesitant step forward. I placed one of my hands on the silver knob but stopped, unable to move any further.

"Perhaps if we – " I started.

James made a hissing sound. "Do it."

So I did. I opened the bathroom door and watched the ground as he threw Alice inside. I heard her stumble over her feet and curse his being here before he slammed the door shut behind her.

"Get a chair."

I walked with concentrated steps into the kitchen a brought him back on of the island's chairs. He wedged it under the doorknob and took a step back. We both watched the knob seize and shake as Alice tried to move it. When the door didn't open, Alice began pounding on the door and screaming my name. I opened my mouth again, trying to calm her into remaining in the bathroom until he left, but before a single breath could leave me, James grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the stairs.

I moved with him seamlessly, following his feet up the wooden steps and into the second floor landing. He paused and looked around the closed doors.

I began to panic. What the fuck are you doing? That's Alice locked in the bathroom downstairs, the girl who befriended you and kept with you even after you left her to return to Jasper. Friend to Edward, who likes you. You need to run. Now!

I made a movement to turn around, but James squeezed my hand.

"Don't you go anywhere," he said. "We need to talk."

"Here," I said in a distant voice, pointing to Alice's closed bedroom door.

He pulled me inside her room and pushed me onto the bed. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, burying my head in the space between my legs and my chest until my forehead rested on my knees.

"Bella." His voice was soft now. "Bella, I miss you."

I didn't move. The breath pushing quickly in and out of my mouth was making the small area between my legs and torso warm against my face. I closed my eyes.

"Bella." I felt the bed sag under me. "Bella, look at me, please. I swear, I just want to talk."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"You, me, everything." He sighed. "I – I miss you, you know? You were the best sub I've ever had and we worked so well together. We were good together and I miss it. I miss us. Look, I know I can be an asshole sometimes, but I was all right, right? I was okay. And I've been working so hard on myself." He paused. "I've changed. You wouldn't even believe how much I've changed."

I raised my head. My voice was dead as I spoke. "You locked my friend in a bathroom after threatening her with a knife."

He pulled his eyebrows together and frowned. "Yeah. I know, and that was real shitty of me, but I just needed to talk to you. And she wouldn't have let me. It was the last bad thing I will ever do, I swear my life on it. Just . . . give me another chance? One more chance. And, if it doesn't work out for you, if you're not happy, you'll never hear from me again."

He looked so sad. His torso was sagged, whether from the uneven surface of the bed or the desperate longing that was reflected with equal intensity in his expression, I wasn't sure. His hair had grown longer in the few months I hadn't seen him and he had pushed it back against his head and tied it in a small ponytail at the nape of his neck. It looked disheveled and greasy. I didn't like it.

"I – I don't know, James. I wasn't happy. You – "

James launched himself off the bed, startling me into silence. He sprinted across the large bedroom and squatted in front of the window before raising his head slowly to look out it.

"FUCK," he cried. "Who drives a silver Volvo?"

I furrowed my brow. "Um, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe Edward? I've never seen his car before."

He pushed himself away from the windowsill and walked to the far end of the room, well out of range of anyone who might be looking upward from the driveway. He began to pace in front of the bedroom door and mumbled an unwavering stream of curses under his breath. I craned my neck towards the window, but could only see the tops of the trees surrounding Edward's property. I let James's heated gait fall into the back of my head as I took stock of my emotions.

I was nervous, sure. Weary, a little. Panicked, not as bad as I thought it would be. But still panicked, because I was entirely too calm considering the circumstance. And concerned, deeply concerned, that I was doing nothing to change it. I wasn't moving, speaking, or shouting instructions at James. I was just existing. Annoyed, I rifled through the general emotions, identifying and tossing them as they became definable. My stomach was definitely tight with something, though, that made me want to cry out, but it wasn't sadness or defeat. It was small and thrummed with furious energy in my chest.

I snapped my head up to glare at James. It was fucking anger. James was still pacing frantically. He had his hands on the top of his head and was methodically pushing his hair from the crown down to the rubber band holding it all back. I could feel my expression soften as I looked at him.

Anger, yes it was definitely anger, but . . . I felt the vibration in the floor of Alice's room as the garage door opened.

Fucking Edward.

I gasped and threw both of my hands to my mouth. James turned quickly to look at me.

"What?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

With my hands still cupped around my mouth, I shook my head. The absolute shame that was spreading from my throat, out towards my limps, and ending in sharp twangs of pressure in my fingers was so oppressive I willed my body to pass out so I didn't have to deal with whatever shit was coming.

"Fucking shit, Bella," James cried, "what am I going to do?"

Without allowing myself to think, I closed my eyes and nodded my head towards Alice's closet. The closet had loose slats, giving an onlooker a muted view of the contents inside, but I was well aware of the sheer depths of it and felt no reservation in sending him there. But still I spoke in a deadened voice.

"There's clothes for days in there. Get lost in them."

"Right, right," he said. "Of course, the closet."

When I didn't hear his body move across the room I opened my eyes. A few brief flickers in the tight muscles of his face let me know he was choosing which emotion to show. Finally, he frowned deeply and narrowed his eyes.

"Bella," he said. "I love you, but I swear to god, if you turn me in, not even I am going to want you as a sub."

The threat was so thick, so palpable, that if I had stuck my tongue out I was sure I could have felt the pressure of it in my mouth.

So I nodded and my anger took a brilliant turn towards him as footsteps came pounding up the stairway outside the bedroom. James dove into the closet. I heard my name and a door in the hallway opened and then closed. My name again, and another door open and close. I pulled my legs tighter to my chest as Alice's bedroom door open and Edward came storming in the room.

He was magnificent. He saw me sitting on the bed and instantly braced his hands against the doorframe and spread his legs in both a possessive and defensive posture. The change in room pressure the second the door opened lifted and moved the strands of hair on the top of his head, giving his appearance a desperate and maniacal edge.

We stared at each other for a moment. His chest was heaving and, though he'd only been home a few moments, his clothing was rumpled and half-tucked. I parted my lips in a silent, suppressed moan of anguish.

"Edward."

He blinked and the movement snapped him away from whatever headspace he'd inhabited. He straightened his body and tightened his hands into fists.

He roared. "Where is he?"

"He already left."

"Then what are you still doing up here?"

I frowned. "Wh-What? What does that have to do with anything?"

Edward studied me for a moment. I wavered on the spot, trying to choose between angry defiance at being questioned and blatant sincerity at the silliness of his behavior. It only took a moment before he turned and all but bolted into Alice's adjoining bathroom. I heard the hollow clank of the shower door open and close. My heart began to beat furiously in my chest.

Okay, you have options. Option one is to find out someway to get Edward the fuck out of Alice's room before he can find James. Then, when everyone's asleep, I go back up here and collect James. I winced. Oh fuck, this is Alice's room. Okay, option two. I get Edward to go back downstairs and take James into the guest bedroom. Hide him there until they go to sleep and sneak him out.

And then, what? I understood, both logically and somewhat emotionally that James would be back. He had been casing this house long enough to discover Edward's regular schedule and if I was alone for any significant amount of time . . . and that was where my thoughts ended. I could see Edward's lean shadow dancing morbidly on the wood floors of Alice's bedroom as he made circles around the bathroom.

I shot a contemptible look at the closet door and scrambled off the bed after Edward.

Alice had that similar, odd door that hid the toilet from the rest of the bedroom and Edward was in the process of shutting it when I came in.

"Wait, Edward," I said, taking a quick step towards him. I wound my fist around the sleeve of his shirt but in one angry twist, he jerked his arm away from me. "What? What are you pissed off at me about? He's gone."

He shook his head and sidestepped me to head back to the bedroom. I glanced around the bathroom, trying to get my shit together. Alice had an absolute plethora of random makeup containers and utensils spread across the countertop next to the sink. I grabbed a tube of lipstick and uncapped it. In a swift moment, I ran my arm across the counter and knocked as many items as I could onto the floor. The noise was incredible. I scribbled on the mirror as quickly as my shaking hands could manage as Edward stormed back into the bathroom.

"Bella, are you – " He stopped at the threshold of the bathroom and I pointed wildly at the mirror. I had written LISTEN TO ME with the red lipstick across the mirror above the sink. I gestured with such frantic insistence that he paused before he opened his mouth again. "Bella, what are you – "

I put my fingers to my lips and wrote PLEASE underneath the first line of text. We stared at each other for a moment and I put every ounce of desperate plea I had into my face. When he didn't move, I wrote more.

YOU HAVE TO LISTEN. SILENTLY. I underlined the last word three times and after a pause of hesitation, he nodded.

The full-body relief I felt matched the words that came out of my mouth. "Yes, I'm fine. You know how clumsy I get." I took a deep breath. "Fucking shit, Alice is going to be so pissed that I ruined her makeup. Can you help me pick it up?"

Edward bent down towards the ground but I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer to the mirror. He trampled on a few of the items, scattering them across the room.

"Ugh," I said, "what a mess. Thank you so much."

I wrote JAMES IS IN THE CLOSET. Edward's face contorted into blind fury and he made a motion to turn around, but I grabbed the front of his shirt in both my hands and pulled him roughly to me before pointing at the mirror.

"Please, Edward," I said, desperation making a mark on my tone. "I cannot do this without you."

He spent a few moments tying to unwind my fists from his shirt but when I shook him, hard, and let loose a small sob, he stopped.

"Please."

He set his jaw and while he didn't agree, he stopped moving.

"Thank you," I said and let him go.

I wrote BE DONE IN HERE, CALL THE COPS, and ASK ME DOWN TO DINNER in quick succession.

He stared at me for another moment and his face moved around an emotion I couldn't place. Then, he dropped the angry expression and nodded.

"Do you mind cleaning this up yourself, Bella?" he said. "It shouldn't take too long. Alice will forgive you. I should start dinner."

"Yeah, it's fine." I launched myself at him and wrapped my arms around his torso. He stayed rigid for a moment before he sagged into my body.

"Of course not," he said in a voice that played a delicate line between defeat and reluctance. "I'll call you downstairs in a few minutes."

"Wait," I whispered, and scrawled IF HE HEARS SIRENS HE'LL RUN.

Edward gave an abrupt nod and headed out of the bathroom. I followed him. He made it to the doorway before paused and turning his head slightly towards the closet. I followed his gaze and saw the unmistakable movement of James's body behind the closed door. Edward hesitated again and I pushed on his back lightly, in what I hoped looked like a playful motion.

"Seriously, it's fine," I said, trying to keep the tightness out of my voice. "I'll be down in a second."

He walked out of the room and I shut the door behind him, hoping to stave off any chivalric attempt on his part to come barreling back through it. When the door clinked shut and the sound of his footsteps retreated down the stairway, James opened the closet door.

"You stupid bitch," he hissed making his way quickly across the room. He was keeping his voice quiet, but small globules of spit made angry flecks as they left his mouth. "You think I'm stupid? You think I don't know what the fuck is going on?"

He grabbed my arm in a tight fist and I squeaked against the pressure. He pulled me into the bathroom and looked quietly at the spilled contents of Alice's ridiculous collection of, now, half-broken makeup items. I looked at his face. He was scrutinizing the mess with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, trying to decide what exactly I had been doing in here. The mirror was outside of his periphery and I cursed myself for not wiping that shit off it before going back into the bedroom.

Panic began to bubble in my stomach.

"Happy?" I bit out before the impending nausea could overwhelm me. "Go back in the closet before Edward comes back. I'll sneak you – "

But I stopped because my knees actually caved out underneath me. His expression had morphed from one of contemplation to one of incredulous disbelief.

"You stupid . . ." He pulled my arm until I spun into him. He pushed me towards the mirror and pinned my body against the counter so we could both face the mirror with my awkward scrawl marring its surface. He grabbed the hair on the back of my head and pulled it down, forcing my neck to crane upwards. Absently, I recognized his intention was to get me to look up at the mirror, but he had pulled my head down so far that I could only look at the ceiling.

I began to sob. "James, stop," I cried. "You're hurting me. Stop."

He unpinned me from the counter and I breathed out a whoosh of air. My hips were throbbing from the pressure of the granite countertop and my knees buckled again. I slid down to the floor and wrapped one of my arms around my body.

"James, listen," I choked, holding a defensive hand out towards him. "Listen, it was only to get Edward downstairs – "

He made a guttural sound of anger and kicked the cabinet next to me. I cringed away from his foot as the wooden door cracked and groaned.

"You are a lying, stupid, disgusting . . ." he said, kicking the cabinet in time with each venomous insult he spit out.

"James!" I cried. "Shut up! Edward is going to hear you!"

"What?" he said and barked out a hollow laugh. "Edward is going to hear me? He's already called the cops, you stupid cow! There's nothing he could do now that would even scratch the surface of the shit feast you've thrown at me."

He grabbed onto the hair at the top of my head and pulled it upward. I cried out against the pain and tried to scramble up as quickly as I could to follow his tight grip. He began to turn me back towards the mirror, but halfway up I stepped on one of Alice's many tubes of lipstick and felt my foot give out under me. I crashed back to the floor and watched the edge of the counter and it came towards my face.

The pain was unbelievable. The granite counter hit my nose and I both heard and felt the crack of the bone as it broke in half. The pain, the absolute agony of that break, spread until I swear I could feel it in my fucking feet. I took one last, enormous breath, and this time, I did cry out. I screamed. Startled, James let go of my hair and I crumpled to the ground, my hands cupped around my nose, and writhed in the pure agony of it.

James stepped out of the bathroom while I tried to control my vomiting, but it felt like only a moment before the bedroom door slammed open and both Edward and Alice fell into the room. Edward was as feral as I'd ever seen him, his hands already in fists and raised to his face as though preparing to box the shit out of James. Alice had . . . the floor lamp. And even though I was crying harder than I ever had, and my eyes only reflected a blurred outline of the reality beyond the bathroom, I felt the muscles twitch on the sides of my mouth.

Edward roared again, but this time no words followed it. It was just a noise; a feral, snarling noise that seemed to start in the very bottom of his stomach and rip out of his throat. It was beautiful. And it was for me.

A burst of adrenaline and I was on my feet, stumbling through the bathroom and into the bedroom. Alice turned towards me and gasped, dropping the floor lamp, and ran to me. She peppered my face with light, feathery touches.

"Oh my god, Bella, oh my god," she whispered, touching the area of my face around my nose.

I looked over her head and saw James, cowering on the floor in front of the closet. He was curled around himself, one hand wrapped across his stomach and the other held out towards Edward in a silent plea to not hurt him. Edward was bent towards James, his lean figure towering over the lesser man, whispering a string of words I couldn't hear. It must have been something awful though, because each time Edward's jaw moved, James's eyes grew progressively wider and his face began to pale rapidly.

"Bella," Alice whispered and I tore my eyes away from Edward's body and refocused on Alice. "Bella, what happened?"

"I slipped and hit my face on the counter." The half-lie slipped easily from my mouth.

"You fell?"

"Yeah, well, you know," I said, trying to form a coherent story in my head. "Yeah, I just slipped. You have way too much fucking makeup." I forced a partial smile in the hopes of lightening her somber expression.

"What – Bella, that's not funny. What the fuck . . ." She paused and her mouth set into a thin line. "How long have you been doing that?"

I looked past her head again but she gripped my chin in her palm and turned my face back towards her.

"Doing what?"

"Lying for him."

My mind went blank. "I-I'm not lying. It's not a lie. I seriously slipped standing back up and fell. Alice, this is really stupid."

"What part did he play?" she asked. Her eyes were alive with an intensity I wanted to cower away from. But her eyes weren't locked on mine, they were doing quick, jerky sweeps across my face. She started at my hairline, ran her gaze down and across my cheeks, and over my lips. Then she moved upward, starting the sequence again.

"No, it's not – "

"Jesus fucking Christ, Bella!" she cried and pushed me away from her. I stumbled back a little and braced myself on the armoire as my knees buckled again. My head felt light and that damned, fucking drowsiness was back. I felt it creeping across my chest like a black tar. It moved upward, encasing my ribs and throat in its grasp.

I watched in what seemed like half-speed as Alice swiped the floor lamp back into her hands and joined Edward, who was still viciously spouting whatever threats he was making at James.

"Move, Edward," she said and without hesitation, he stepped aside. Alice leaned down towards James and took a deep breath before her chest contracted and a large, sticky glob of spit landed on his face, right between his eyes.

James narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to give her a cutting remark, I was sure. But before he could so much as breathe, she lifted the floor lamp over her head and smashed the base onto his forehead. He dropped immediately, out cold.

I fell to the ground and let out a low moan. "Oh my god," I cried, "what did you do?"

The lethargy was creeping up towards my chin, relaxing my tongue in the back of my throat until I couldn't speak. I just groaned, letting my throat contract and expand on instinct rather than on conscious effort. I crept across the floor towards Alice and Edward. After a moment, Alice wailed, once, and threw her hands over her eyes. She stepped around Edward and ran from the room. I looked up at Edward. His hands were unclenched and hanging loosely at his sides; his face was blank.

I groaned again as the black tar moved further up my face until it covered my eyes. Without even a hint of warning, I vomited violently onto the floor. With that, I closed my eyes and let the blackness consume me.