Chapter 14

Leonard and Penny walked into 4A and immediately knew that something was amiss. The place was an uncharacteristic mess. Two mugs were left on the coffee table, Sheldon's desk papers were all askew, and the kitchen had a slightly smoky look to it.

"What is that awful smell?" Penny asked holding her hand over her nose.

Leonard walked into the kitchen and looked around. There was a burnt loaf of sourdough bread sitting on the counter. The pot on the stove produced the worst smell of all. It looked like some grey slop that was scorched on the bottom. It now had a consistency of glue. Leonard looked into the pot and gave it a quick sniff. "I think this was supposed to be clam chowder…before it got completely burned to the pot." He gave Penny a confused look. "It's not like him to not clean up. Is Sheldon even home?"

Penny glanced and saw Sheldon's keys and wallet in the key bowl. "Well his wallet and keys are here. His coat is here too. I think he must be home." She walked over to Leonard and they made their way together down the hall to Sheldon's closed door.

Leonard tapped gently on Sheldon's door. "Sheldon? It's Leonard and Penny. Are you there? Can we come in?"

"Come in" a voice faintly said.

Leonard and Penny walked in to see Sheldon's room a total mess. He was sitting on the floor with a screwdriver screwing the back onto his laptop. There were various computer parts in a box beside him. There were papers strewn on his bed, on the floor, everywhere. Sheldon plugged the adaptor to the outlet, and then tentatively hit the power button. The screen lit up and the computer started booting normally.

"Yes…I knew I could fix it." Sheldon muttered. He immediately logged into CalTech's document server, and started printing off research papers.

Penny gave Leonard a worried look, and then kneeled down beside Sheldon. "Sweetie? What's going on? The kitchen is a mess, there is burnt food on the stove. That's not like you…you are always such a stickler about fire hazards. Why did you take your laptop apart? What are all these papers? I thought Amy was coming over today." Penny questioned.

"Amy left." Sheldon said abruptly.

Leonard picked up a paper that had just printed and looked at it with a puzzled look. He started flipping through some of the papers on his bed. "Sheldon, why are you printing Kripke's physics papers? Some of this stuff is pretty old. This one is from his undergrad days at Columbia?"

Leonard looked clearly at Sheldon for the first time, and saw that his eyes were red. Sheldon was focused, and kept typing into the computer. "I'm glad my laptop is working again, printing from my phone was getting tedious." Sheldon glanced up at Leonard's puzzled look. "Know thy enemy Leonard….know thy enemy. "

"Oh God, what has Kripke done now? Is he collaborating with Amy again?" Leonard asked curiously.

"You could say that" Sheldon said softly. "If by collaborating, you mean the free and open exchange of saliva, then yes they have been collaborating."

"WHAT?" Penny gasped. "What do you mean? They've been kissing? I knew that they were texting each other but what? How? Oh my God! I can't believe Amy would ever cheat on you! I always knew Barry was a rat!"

Sheldon looked up at Penny stunned. "They've been texting each other?"

Penny stopped in her tracks and looked at Sheldon. His large blue eyes were wide and imploring her for the answer she didn't want to give. She sighed. "Well, I only saw it once, the other week when we were having Chinese food here."

"I see" he said quietly.

Leonard frowned and looked at Sheldon. He sat on his bed and put his hand on his shoulder. "Buddy, I just can't imagine Amy doing something like that. Why don't you tell us what happened?"

Sheldon took a large breath and then began. "Well, after the Cheesecake Factory, Amy was upset and wanted to see a friend. Apparently Kripke and her are great friends now, much to my surprise. Anyways, they were watching Starship Troopers. A movie that she would never watch with all of us, I might add. Kripke's hands were cut up, because he is not intelligent to wear work gloves when working with sharp razor blades for his latest attack robot. He said they were bothering him, so Amy applied cream on his hands. Don't even get me started on all the germs she probably exposed herself to right there. Then she said, he turned and kissed her." Sheldon's voice faltered on the last part.

"Did she kiss him back?" Penny asked softly.

"She said no she didn't kiss him back, but responded to his kiss. Then she said she shoved him back."

Leonard looked thoughtfully at Sheldon. "Well what did Amy say about the kiss?"

"Well, she said she didn't want to kiss him. But the fact remains that she did. She responded to his kiss, and I understand what that means."

"What do you mean you understand?" Leonard asked.

"It's not important. She was very apologetic, but I don't know…..this changes everything."

"Well, it's not that bad. It was just one kiss, and she shoved him away. She was probably just stunned that he kissed her. You know that she's not that experienced with men, and Kripke moves fast."

"What do you mean it's not that bad? How can you say that Leonard? She went to another man's apartment, and watched a movie with him. A guy that's been flirting with her and texting her. That is not ok. I can't believe your so blasé about this!" Penny exclaimed.

"It was one stupid kiss. A kiss that she didn't even initiate! You have to admit, that Sheldon probably played a big part in them getting to this messed up spot in their relationship. Kripke was probably giving her attention that she was craving." Leonard replied.

"How can you blame Sheldon? If she was upset, she should have talked to him. Not show up at some creepers apartment." Penny retorted.

"I'm just saying nobody is totally innocent in this situation. Amy should have never gone to Kripke's apartment, Kripke should have never kissed her in the first place and Sheldon started this whole mess by never paying his own girlfriend any attention." Leonard looked thoughtfully at Sheldon. "So how did you leave things with Amy?"

"I…I… I don't know. I asked her to leave. I can't handle thinking about Amy right now. Besides…Kripke needs to be taught a lesson. I need to know everything I can about him - his research, his life, his family, his friends. My mother told me never to trust a New Yorker…"

Leonard started pacing around his bedroom. "Oh no…what are you planning? You're still on thin ice with university after you slimed Kripke and President Siebert that time. I'm still surprised you didn't get fired for that one" Leonard said worriedly.

"He HAS to pay Leonard! What kind of person goes after another man's girlfriend? Besides, the Caltech Faculty Awards Dinner is tomorrow night. If I plan this right, we should all be there to witness his ultimate humiliation."

"How are you going to top showing your own drunken ass to the world? That was a humiliation win. Aaah…nothing beats that one. Here's Uranus!" Penny snickered.

"Penny! That night is not to be mentioned. Remember?" Sheldon said annoyed. "I'm still working out the details, but let's just say, his day up until that point should be completely irritating. He should be ready to pull his hair out by the time the dinner begins.."

"Sheldon, you're only making yourself look bad...you're not really accomplishing anything by doing this. Maybe you should focus on you and Amy and how to repair your relationship." Leonard interjected.

Sheldon sighed and looked at Leonard and Penny. "Amy…I can't. It just hurts too much to think about her right now ok" he said softly. He started stuffing his papers into his bag and a few tools. "I'm heading out…don't wait up." He headed out of the bedroom.

Penny looked at Leonard. "This dinner is going to be an unmitigated disaster isn't it…"

"Of epic proportions" Leonard sighed.

Barry glanced at his cellphone as he walked down the hall. He had tried calling Amy multiple times since Saturday night, but she hadn't returned any of his calls. He looked at his unanswered texts, and emails. Why hadn't she responded? The kiss he shared with her touched him in a way that he had never felt before. Sure he had kissed girls before, but he had never felt such a deep connection as with this kiss. Amy was different. He cared so much about her. He just wanted to make her smile…to make her happy.

He shook his head. He probably should have never kissed her. At least when her and Cooper's relationship status was questionable. It just felt so right in the moment, she looked so pretty sitting there in his apartment. He closed his eyes, and thought of her small hands rubbing cream so tenderly on his hands. He couldn't help himself. All the signals were there. He couldn't help but take the chance. He needed to talk to her. It was a couple days since the kiss, hopefully they could speak with each other today.

Kripke unlocked his office door. There was a lot to do today. Tonight was the Caltech faculty awards dinner, and he was actually being awarded tonight for some of his research earlier in the year. He was to give a brief presentation. He needed to get his PowerPoint and speaking points a final review and send it to the awards coordinator by 10 am this morning.

He walked over to his stereo and turned it on. It's a Small World started playing from the stereo. Barry looked at the stereo puzzled. Where was that song coming from? It wasn't in his playlist. He started clicking the buttons on his stereo, but everything appeared to be stuck.

The song kept droning on….it must be the longest song in the world. When it stopped, the song began again. "Oh God no…." Barry muttered. He reached behind the stereo and pulled the chord. The stereo kept playing the annoying song. He flipped the stereo over and looked at the battery compartment. It was screwed shut. But how could it be playing? He never put batteries in there in the first place. Kripke put the stereo back down, and sat down at his desk and opened the drawer to look for his screwdriver. It wasn't there.

Barry glanced at his watch and saw that it was already 9 am. He needed to finish going over his presentation quickly. He turned on his computer and logged on. He clicked on Outlook and then his computer screen went black. His computer had completely shut off.

"What the hell?" he muttered. He hit the power button and waited for the computer to reboot.

It's a world of laughter, a world of tears

It's a world of hopes and a world of fears

"Oh God…shut up" Kripke hissed at his stereo. His computer returned to his logon screen. He opened up Outlook, and his computer completely shut down again. "Of all the days…I need to send my presentation in" Barry muttered. He picked up his desk phone to call Caltech's IT support. Instead of the dial tone, the eerie song played through the headset.

There's so much that we share that its time we're aware

It's a small world after all

"Ok, someone is just fucking with me." Barry said to himself angrily as he slammed the phone down. He grabbed his cellphone and opened the presentation on it. He gave it a quick read, and then sent it off to the awards coordinator. Barry then spied his screwdriver sitting near his computer. That was odd, he never leaves it there, he always puts it in his desk drawer. Well regardless, he could use it to turn the stupid song off. He grabbed the screwdriver. The handle seemed loose, so he turned it to tighten it. He heard a small pop, and then the bottom of the screwdriver came off and a clear liquid started running down his hands.

"What the hell is that?" Barry yelled as he jumped up from his seat. He rubbed his fingers together which quickly became completely stuck to each other. "Oh hell no…superglue?" His middle and ring finger were completely fused together. Barry stared at his hand. Childish inappropriate dumbass pranks? This had Cooper written all over it. Barry cautiously looked up at his ceiling tiles and quickly moved over to the door. Cooper had no business screwing with his stuff. He opened the door with his non-sticky hand and headed down to Cooper's office.

Sheldon was sitting at his office desk. He wondered how long it would take for Kripke to discover all the little surprises he left him in his office. He hoped that he made himself a cup of coffee with his little coffeemaker. That prank was especially ingenious…and would leave him with a nice blue tongue.

BANG BANG

Kripke was standing at Sheldon's door holding up his right hand with his fingers fused together. "What the hell Cooper? Superglue?"

Sheldon stared at him. Just seeing Kripke was bringing up a whole range of emotions. Anger, betrayal…disgust. He had never had the urge to punch someone so badly in his life. The words Amy had told him were flooding his head and repeating over and over. He turned and kissed me. I didn't kiss him back but responded to his kiss. Sheldon cracked his knuckles and stared at Barry icily. He walked over and stood in front of him at full height. He stared him in the eyes. "I hear superglue is good for sealing cuts."

A wave of understanding passed over Kripke's face. "You know" he said softly.

"Everything" Sheldon said tensely. "I warned you to back off…but you didn't listen."

"Listen…I'm not that guy. I didn't intentionally go after Amy. She came to my place. I didn't know what your relationship status was..things just kind of happened."

Sheldon scoffed. "You didn't know what our relationship status was? What kind of stupid excuse is that? Admit it Kripke. You wanted Amy, and you pawed at her like some animal in heat the first opportunity you had."

"I did not paw at her at all! Is that what she told you?" Barry said stunned.

"Listen Kripke, I don't know what kind of game you are playing. Do you often go after women that are not single? Should I warn Leonard, Raj and Howard to keep out an eye for you, so you don't go sniffing after their girlfriends?"

Barry could feel his anger rising as he looked at Sheldon. He looked down at his fingers stuck together. "Well if this is indication of how you act, more like a child than a man, then I don't really blame Amy for looking elsewhere for companionship."

Sheldon walked over to his desk and laughed. "Yes, because you are a pillar of virtue aren't you? Worthy of Amy's companionship? I did a little digging on you Kripke. And most of what I found out about your personal life isn't flattering."

"Oh whatever Cooper. I don't have to justify my life to you."

"Let's see. There's Krista, Michelle, Candy, Rachelle, Jalissa, Emory, Stacey, Trish. I could go on…but let's move on to the strippers – Melody, Bambi, Magic, Chantilly –"

"What are you trying to prove? I don't care what you think. Those girls meant nothing to me."

"I wonder what Amy would think of such a long list of women? I haven't even gone through everyone. And that is just who I found…I'm sure there are more. Perhaps she wouldn't be so flattered by your attention, when she knows how "freely" you give attention out?"

Kripke grew more pissed off at the thought of Amy thinking badly of him. "You know what…Fuck you Cooper. I felt bad after for upsetting Amy, and you know what, a bit of me felt bad about what I did to you. But you totally destroyed that. I could care less how you feel. You brought this whole thing on yourself. If Amy was happy with you, she would have never let me kiss her."

Sheldon felt like he was scalded when he heard the word kiss escape Kripke's mouth. It almost made it more real. Too real. "She didn't LET you kiss her" he hissed.

Kripke got in Sheldon's face. "Oh really? That's not how I remember it. I remember her soft small hands gently touching –"

"Shut up! Now! I'm warning you. Don't you dare say another word. I should have super glued your stupid mouth" Sheldon snapped at him, his face going flush.

Kripke walked closer to Sheldon. "Her lips are so soft…did you know that?" He looked at Sheldon whose eyes were filled with rage. "You know what's even better than her soft soft lips? Her long curious tongue-"

Sheldon slammed his fist hard into Kripke's face. Barry fell to his knees cradling his face. "What the fuck Cooper?" he yelled.

He kicked the base of Sheldon's legs, and he came toppling to the ground. He slammed his left fist to Sheldon's face but he only made slight contact, since Sheldon quickly dodged his face to the side. Sheldon laughed at the haphazard punch. "My brother's beat me up my whole life…I've learned a thing or two about dodging punches."

Barry's nose started bleeding. Sheldon was scrambling to get out from under from under Kripke, the sight of the blood was making him start to feel woozy. Kripke kicked him hard in the chest and his head hit his desk drawer leaving a small cut on the side of his eye.

The door burst open. "What is all this noise?" Leonard, Howard and Raj walked in. Their eyes went wide at the scene before them. Kripke and Sheldon were both on the ground. Kripke's eye was starting to swell and his nose was bleeding. Sheldon was sitting on the floor leaned up against his desk cradling his face.

"What the hell happened here?" Howard exclaimed.

Kripke got up held his nose with his left hand. He couldn't bend his right hand because of all the superglue. "I'm done with you Cooper. You better fix my office back to it's original state, or I WILL get you fired. You can count on it. I'm not going back into that deathtrap office, I'm going home." He stormed out of the office.

Sheldon put his head against the desk and was blankly staring at the wall. Leonard leaned down and touched his shoulder. "Are you ok? What happened here?"

Sheldon stayed silent and continued staring at the wall. Finally he turned to Leonard. "Phase One complete" he whispered.

A/N: I know Sheldon punching anyone is totally OOC, but I felt he could get there if "pushed". I thought Kripke goading Sheldon about the kiss would push him over the edge. Next Chapter…the Caltech Faculty Awards Dinner. Hopefully a bit of a funnier chapter. Unfortunately the bread didn't make it, but thank you for all the concern over it!