Hong Kong took his seat around the conference table and laid his long red sleeved shirt on it casually, Japan and China flanking him. He looked over to where Gupta was sitting in his white robes and keffiyeh, not at all surprised to see that Canada was seated beside him with a bored expression plastered on his face while England droned on about something few nations actually paid attention to, let alone were interested in. To add to the effect, Greece was leaning against Canada, snoring lightly while Canada blushed and glanced about awkwardly at the closeness.
Hong Kong cocked his head to the side, intrigued that Egypt would permit Greece to be that close, even unintentionally. Perhaps he simply had yet to notice or didn't want to wake Greece? Or was he using Greece to trap Canada in his seat?
That had to be it, sneaky bastard. Hong Kong shot a glare at the Egyptian in question who ignored it, pretending to be interested in something Turkey was complaining about instead.
Well, it's a good thing that Hong Kong doesn't get mad about such small things. Too bad what he does do is get even. His plotting was interrupted however when America began to be loud again after a short milkshake break.
"I have a declaration!" America stated loudly, standing on top of his chair and striking a heroic pose in his signature bomber jacket, square glasses and jeans, in doing so grabbing the attention of every nation in the room, even waking Greece with a grumble of annoyance.
"Dammit Alfred I was talking." England shouted back at the boisterous nation, irked at being interrupted so abruptly. America only scoffed at his complaint.
"Whatever, no one cared." Alfred said with a dismissive wave.
"What! How dare you." England sputtered at the arrogant nation, to which America only grinned.
"Oh, I dared."
"You bloody git!" England thundered while America turned away from him to address everyone else, effectively ending their conversation.
"Anyway, I had an idea while Iggy was talking. I declare this meeting to now be... a poker tournament!" Silence enveloped the room at that declaration, America casting his gaze around the room confidently.
"What!" Came the abrupt shout from several throats at once, all eyes in the room staring at the blonde with shock, confusion and for a few, interest.
"Well, why not?" America asked, somewhat confused by the apparent shock. "I mean, we may as well as I have the cards right here." He added, pulling out a deck of cards from the pocket of his bomber jacket and showing it to the crowd of other nations.
"Well what are we going to bet with- aru? We can't use our nation's money since you still owe me so much- aru." China added bitterly shooting a scathing look at the blue eyes blonde that was now looking thoughtful, ignoring the glare.
"Well..." America began thoughtfully before turning slightly to a gaudily dressed France and exchanging a look that only Hong Kong and Gupta saw, the Egyptian sitting straighter in his chair at the feeling the look caused which was urging caution.
"Mon ami, why do we not simply play, strip poker." The wavy haired promiscuous blonde suggested, wiggling his eyebrows lewdly. Hong Kong frowned inwardly, the fact that the pair appeared to be in cahoots causing suspicion to rear its head.
"Hell no." Was the firm reply from England who glared until the Frenchman raised his hands in surrender.
"How about dares, whoever wins gets to dare someone to do something and if you won't do it you're out. How 'bout it Mattie, Wanna play?" Alfred asked, looking pointedly at the Canadian. Hong Kong narrowed his eyes at that while Egypt shuffled slightly closer to the Canadian, who was now fidgeting nervously underneath the fixed look he was receiving from several nations who finally saw the violet eyed blonde thanks to attention being called to his presence.
"Um, well... I guess so..." Matthew squeaked quietly as he tried to sink into his chair and disappear. Hong Kong cursed to himself in his head at that. Of course Canada would accept, he was too polite not to and with all that attention focused on him...
"The awesome me is in." A loud boisterous voice sounded off from near Germany. Hong Kong whipped his head around to regard the red eyed, Prussian blue military uniformed silverette, better known as Prussia, standing up with his left hand planted on the desk before him, his right pulling Germany upright beside him. "And Vestern is in as vell."
"Vat!" Germany shouted glaring daggers at his boisterous brother who smirked wickedly in response.
"Vell, you don't vant Italy to be alone in this, do you?" Prussia asked, inclining his head in the direction of said brunette who was smiling widely before jumping up and hugging the blue eyed German.
"Ve, Ludwig I want to play, will you play with me, please?" The young Italian begged his eyes wide and pleading to the tall German. Germany seemed about to argue but instead slumped his shoulders in defeat.
"All right." Germany sighed in acceptance while Italy squealed in delight and Prussia smirked even wider. Hong Kong growled mentally while his face remained impassive, annoyed that he now had another thing to worry about in addition to America.
"I'm in, of course." France purred and gave a wink to England who sputtered some more in frustration at the direction the meeting was going in.
"I will play." Gupta said evenly, his voice cutting through the noise like a hot knife through butter.
"So will I." Hong Kong put in immediately afterwards, seemingly the only other nation that would dare to speak after the Egyptian. The incident with Poland was still fresh in the minds and nightmares of the other nations.
Matthew never did get back the three jugs of maple syrup, two rolls of duck tape and his ant farm.
"Then I'll play too." Turkey said loudly, his white mask not low enough to hide his confident smirk. Greece sat upright, fully awake at the Turks addition to the group's game.
"I'm in." Greece spat, glaring at the Turk spitefully who glared back with equal vehemence. America seemed somewhat overwhelmed by the massive response but bounced back quickly to his credit though he didn't act fast enough to hide a look of irritation.
"Alright. I'm declaring the meeting table the poker table for the duration." Alfred said haughtily, watching from behind Texas as the various nations who chose not to participate filed out of the room though most stayed to watch, England being one of them which prompted America to arch an eyebrow in surprise. "You staying Iggy?" America asked in surprise to which the Englishman flushed slightly.
"W-well someone has to make sure you idiots don't do anything stupid or dangerous." England muttered, still blushing slightly to which America grinned slyly.
"Well then, Mister Bond, take a seat." England shot a dirty look at the American but sat down anyway. "Ok," America began grandly as he shuffled the deck of cards, "let the game begin." America grinned widely while looking at Canada slyly; he knew that he was going to have fun.
()()()
America was not having fun, not at all. Sure he had extensive experience with five card stud, he had Vegas after all but god damned if he had yet to win a single freaking hand. How he failed to do so one might ask? It may have had something to do with the ultimate damn poker faces in the world being at the table and who seemed to have it out for him.
Hong Kong and Egypt had barely lost a hand since the game had started and if it happened more often than not it was to each other; their poker faces were perfect, not a movement wasted, no tells or twitches that would say anything about their cards and they seemed to know exactly what to ask to make a country quit.
France for example had been dared that he was not allowed to grope anyone for a week, to which the blonde paled and excused himself much to the sighs of disappointment from the crowd at the lost prospect and a squeak from Canada when France passed him on his way to join the crowd, which earned a glare from the two stoic nations still at the table. Come to think of it, no one had seen France since the break ten minutes ago.
Germany had faked a heart attack when Gupta had dared him to kiss Italy, excusing himself even after he technically fulfilled it when Italy gave him mouth to mouth resuscitation.
As for Italy, the threat of not having pasta for two days had been enough to send him crying.
Turkey and Greece had actually eliminated themselves, it went something like this.
"Take off the mask, its not fair." Greece shouted at Turkey while pointing an accusing finger at said item.
"It is too fair you just like to bitch about it."
"Take it off!"
"Make me."
Suffice to say after they started the fistfight they were booted off the table and even though they had quieted down they were forced to watch along with all the other nations, occasionally rubbing a bruised region and glaring hatefully at each other.
As for Prussia, well he was shameless so it didn't really matter what they dared him to do and they hadn't even started on him until he dared Canada with a smirk to give him a kiss. After Gupta won the next hand he dared Prussia to kiss Russia, much to the latter's amusement and everyone else's shock that he went through with it.
Now they were on a new hand and America was not feeling good about it at all. He glanced at Hong Kong, then Egypt. He was getting nothing off those faces and Prussia was just smirking on his end of the table. Wonderful, but a hero was persistent so he didn't care what they dared him to do even if they won again.
"Two pair." Hong Kong stated without expression, laying down his cards. America grimaced and laid down his cards, king high and a pair of twos. Egypt, Prussia and Canada had little better. America sighed in irritation, at this rate he wouldn't get Mattie to do anything.
"Fine what do I have to do?" Hong Kong tilted his head to the side as though the answer was obvious, pulling a very similar string of firecrackers out of his pocket.
"You are to put these down your pants and light them." Hong Kong said matter-of-factly while America pulled back in fear, shrinking into his chair with a horrified expression.
"What!" England said aghast.
"Where?" China demanded in shock.
"Again?" Canada asked in a bored voice as he pulled a fire extinguisher out from behind his chair, much to the shock of everyone who could hear him.
"Wait," England began with a raised hand to forestall anything else being said, "how many times has this happened?" Canada shrugged nonchalantly while Egypt pulled out a scoreboard from his sleeve.
"Too many." America whimpered from his chair.
"Only once before." Gupta stated firmly after reviewing the sheet before depositing it back in his sleeve.
"Hong Kong that wasn't very nice, why would you do that- aru?" China asked the younger Chinese boy, who merely continued calmly shuffling the cards without pause.
"He came into my bed in the middle of the night." Hong Kong said without inflection. England's prominent eyebrows shot up and he whipped his head around to stare at America with surprise.
"Why in god's name would you do that?" England demanded of the American furiously, who shrank slightly more into the chair at the question and the tone being used.
"I'm sorry," The American whined, "I thought he was Mattie when I started cuddling him." There was never a louder silence than the one that followed that badly worded sentence, the sound of Hong Kong still shuffling the cards the only noise. Oddly, it was Canada that broke it.
"Oh Al, you idiot." Then all hell broke loose.
"What!" England shouted furiously as he clenched and unclenched his hands, imagining the Americans neck between them.
"What- aru!" China said at the same time as England and with equal volume, even as he scanned the room for a potential weapon to use on the normally boisterous nation.
England lunged across the wide table, an impressive feat for a man of his stature and began yelling profanities while throttling America doggedly. America meanwhile tried to pry the hands off his throat and China tried to wrestle Switzerland for one of his larger calibre guns, the rest of the nations watching fixedly while Hong Kong dealt the cards out between himself Canada and Egypt as America was occupied and Prussia was busy howling with laughter though he soon noticed he had been left out and looked hatefully at the young Asian.
They lay their cards on the table, Matthew moving his slightly away as England and America rolled across the broad surface. Hong Kong glanced at the cards, he had a straight, Egypt a flush and Canada had... Four of a kind? That was surprising to say the least as this was the first hand he had won.
"Awesome," Prussia shouted over the sound of scuffling, "quick, make them kiss." Prussia declared pointing at Hong Kong then Egypt. Canada blushed before stuttering a reply.
"I-I'm not going to do that Prussia."
"Come on, it vill be funny." Prussia pleaded with the Canadian, annoyed at the refusal. As he complained, Hong Kong slowly slipped his shoe off his foot while Gupta began unlacing one of his boots.
"No Prussia." Canada said in mild exasperation.
"Aw you're no fun." Prussia said with a mild pout, right until Hong Kong's shoe flew across the table and smacked him in the face. "Ow" Prussia cried as his hand flew to the struck area, "vat the hell, don't throw shoes at me." Shortly afterwards Egypt's boot smacked him in the head with a loud thwack. "That vas not awesome, vat did you just say." Prussia thundered furiously at the stoic pair.
"Technically," an aristocratic voice came from behind the Albino, "you said shoe and this," the man continued picking up the military boot in his hand, "is clearly a boot." Prussia turned slightly red, though whether it was from embarrassment or anger was unclear.
"Shaddup specs." Prussia said furiously to the well dressed and aristocratic Austrian man berating him.
"Mayhaps you should make Gilbert shut his mouth fur a vhile." Austria spoke instead to Canada as though Prussia had never said a thing, his blue eyes boring into Canada's violet ones, who squirmed at the attention and sank slightly beneath the table.
"Und maybe I should break you're girly fingers." Prussia growled threateningly as he rose to his feet with clenched fists.
"Just try it." Hungary said threateningly, the light green dress wearing brunette coming up behind Austria with a frying pan in hand. Prussia glared at her before faking a grab at Austria's hands, causing Hungary to chase him around the table with the frying pan raised overhead and shouting threats in German.
Meanwhile, Gupta shuffled the cards seemingly oblivious to the noise around him, though he was of course paying attention the whole time.
"Ha, take that Prussia." Turkey shouted encouragingly to Hungary while the woman chased the albino around the table before Greece punched him in the shoulder.
"Don't encourage them." He chastised fiercely to the dark green uniformed Turkish man who turned his hateful eyes to the baggy dressed younger nation.
"I'll do whatever I want." He shouted furiously at the sleepy Greek.
"Shut up!" Greece shot back, his brow furrowed in anger.
"Make me." Turkey said smugly before Greece knocked his fez off his head with an open palm and a smirk. Both soon ended up on the ground again throwing punches and any other dirty trick they had up their sleeves in their efforts to beat the other to a bloody pulp.
Bang
Canada looked, shocked, at where China and Switzerland were fighting over a shotgun which had been pointed to the ceiling when it was fired, specifically at one of the supports holding the large metal vent to the ceiling. Though no one else seemed to have noticed the accidental discharge, Canada did and slipped a little more under the table as he watched the support piece of the vent lose more and more integrity until, with a crash it cracked open and disgorged its load.
Said load was a hogtied and gagged with duct tape France who landed in a very awkward position of his body on the table and his face uncomfortably close to Canada's crotch.
Canada stared in a state of shock at the blonde hair that was what he could see of France's head before the tied up nation slowly moved his head up, confused blue eyes meeting horrified violet ones. France's blue eyes suddenly shone with understanding and he gave the shy violet eyed nation a single, lewd wink.
That act brought Canada out of his daze and turned beet red, his arms shot up as though he was terrified the proximity of his hands would indicate interest in any sort of act that that wink promised. Sadly, France saw it more as an admission of surrender as his sparkling eyes reflected such.
Before the Frenchman could do anything however, two pairs of hands grabbed him and tossed him backwards. Said hands belonged to Egypt and Hong Kong who were furious at themselves for thinking that the vent would be a good hiding place for France until the end of the meeting or, you know, whenever someone actually found the Frenchman. Like the maintenance personnel.
France flew backward and knocked England off of America, both Europeans falling to the floor with a crash and pile of flailing limbs. England pushed the Frenchman off him as soon as he regained his senses and was about to spew insults, until he noticed France's predicament and realized the opportunity that now presented itself.
Smiling a Cheshire cat grin while France's eyes widened in horror, England's hand shot to his pocket and pulled out a sharpie marker. The Englishman began cackling madly as he reached towards the now struggling Frenchman with his free hand, sharpie upraised.
Meanwhile, on the stage better known as the conference table, America propped himself up on his elbows, adjusting his glasses while taking shaky breaths as he re-oriented himself. As he glanced about he noticed Canada finish sliding under the table completely with a glazed look in his purple eyes and a still shocked expression on his face.
America smirked and rolled off the table quickly, hitting the ground with a slight thump. Pushing himself off the ground, with the reflexes of the superpower he was, America dodged under the table as Turkey and Greece rolled by the space he had previously vacated in a ball of flailing limbs. He looked around the gloomy space underneath the table with sharp searching eyes.
There, America spotted his target. His blonde haired northern neighbour was leaning against the chair he had been seated in and seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating.
Someone needs comforting, America thought with a wry grin as he began moving towards the timid nation slowly as not to startle him. America had gone about half way when he heard a thump on the top of the table and the space before him was suddenly clouded in a hail of splinters and sawdust. America's eyes shot upward with a cry of surprise and met with the double barrel of Switzerland's shotgun, though behind it was the grimacing face of China.
"Molest my brother will you- aru." China muttered as he cocked the gun before his finger tightened on the trigger, America rolling to the side as soon as the tall Asian had begun speaking. As the floor erupted into another rain of splinters and shrapnel America shot out from underneath the table, sprinting towards the door to the conference room with China pursuing expertly, his ponytail flapping behind him and Switzerland soon after shouting that he wanted his gun back.
Egypt calmly watched the three nations evacuate the room before dealing a new hand to himself and Hong Kong, well aware that Canada was beneath the table but reasoning it was likely the safest place for his shy friend, noting that Turkey and Greece had just finished another lap around the table. Egypt held his cards up to his face, shielding the lower half from his Chinese opponent across the table.
There was still time for one more hand.
Well now, that went on longer than I thought it would. So initially I just wrote this to introduce Prussia to the mix but then, ya, it went in some strange directions. Anyway, drop a review if you can it makes my day, I'm gonna go to bed now as it is rather late.