Disclaimer: If you don't know by now that I own nothing, then you haven't read any of my first thirteen chapters. Shame on you.
What I feel, I can't say,
But my love is there for you anytime of day.
But if it's not love that you need,
Then I'll try my best to make everything succeed.
Their bed smelled like her. That was probably what Sirius loved the most about living with Lily; even when she wasn't there when he woke up in the morning, the bed still retained the scent of her hair. It was almost as wonderful as waking up to her hair sprawled across his chest.
Shockingly enough, there had been little trouble adjusting to their current situation. Sure, there had been some initial awkwardness when it came to sharing a room and doing each other's laundry and things of that nature, but after about a week they just rolled with it. By then they had settled into a routine.
Four days after moving in Lily and Sirius went out and found jobs. Lily had insisted again that if they were going to live like adults, they would act like them, but it was Sirius who suggested that they find employment in the Muggle world. Although he wasn't speaking with most of his family, Sirius wanted to avoid giving them a reason to go after Lily, such as flaunting her around Diagon Alley. No matter how badly he wanted to. And some little snot of a second year might start spreading rumors around, and Lily didn't need that kind of grief right now.
So Lily went out and found a job in a little alternative bookstore. Sirius had anticipated the bookstore, but not the alternative part. The place was full of Gothic literature and how-to books on Native American spiritualism and constantly played Bob Dylan music. And the willowy owner popped up behind Sirius and bellowed, "Hare Krishna!" at him every time he came in to visit Lily on his break But she was relaxed there, which was all that mattered.
Sirius, in the meantime, got a job busing tables at a diner. Lily thought it outrageous, and laughed at him for the entirety of the two days before he started. Even in bed. Something about the thought of Sirius Black wearing an apron and wiping down tables really tickled her. But the morning of his first day she suddenly became extremely somber as she set the bacon on the table.
"Are you sure you really want to do this?" she had asked. "I mean, you didn't even know how to work the television."
Hey, it wasn't his fault the Muggle Studies class he had taken to spite his parents had glassed over telecommunication. She was lucky he knew what the stove was. But all in all, the job suited him well. Free food and all.
And now, a month and a half later, Sirius found himself in their pitiful excuse for a kitchen, trying his best to magic up a pudding. By a stroke of luck he and Lily both had the evening shift off, so he intended to surprise her. They had both been almost completely isolated since their move to London; he hadn't seen the other Marauders since their parting at King's Cross, and he knew Lily was feeling a little starved for female companionship. Mrs. Longbottom, as it turned out, had managed to take the reins of her son's impending wedding, so Alice hadn't needed much help from Lily after all. Poor girl. Even Sirius knew enough of Augusta Longbottom's reputation to know that she was not a woman to trifle with.
So Sirius was taking Lily out. Not on a date, though. Lord knew she'd had enough alone time with him over the last several weeks. No, he wanted to introduce her to some very important people.
As he was attempting to levitate the icing into place, Sirius couldn't help but feel a little anxious. Lily was supposed to get off at six, and she had mentioned something about picking up some groceries at breakfast, but it was almost half past seven now and he was beginning to worry. It wasn't like Lily to dilly-dally. Besides, they needed to show up before the baby was asleep.
Sirius gave up on the pudding at a quarter to eight. It looked downright awful and no amount of magic was going to change that. Why didn't they teach these kinds of things at school? Oh right, house elves.
He was magicing the flour off the walls when the front door opened and closed. "Good, you're home," Sirius called over his shoulder. God, that was so nice to say. "Get in here and help me with this. I'm lousy with kitchen―"
No sooner had he turned around than Lily had flung herself on him and buried her face in his chest. If the sobs and heaving shoulders hadn't given her despair away, the quickly spreading dampness on the front of his shirt would have.
"Lily?" he asked, wrapping his arms securely around her shoulders.
It wasn't like this was the first time this had happened. Her father's death had hit her hard, and while she was obviously thrilled with their living arrangement, Sirius could tell the pain was taking its toll of her. She had cried herself to sleep every night of their first week in the flat, and it was not uncommon for her to spontaneously break down during the first two. However, once they had both settled into their jobs she wept less and less often; he hadn't seen her cry in about a week and a half, and even they it had just been a few little tears as they lay in bed. No, something had triggered this outburst.
"Lily, love, what happened?" She mumbled unintelligibly into his chest. Sirius repressed a sigh. "Come on Lil, I can't help make this better if you won't tell me what's wrong."
Lily hiccupped and stepped back so that his hands were gripping her shoulders. Her thin fingers still clutched the front of his now very damp shirt. "Petunia got married."
Sirius felt his eyebrows raise. "Really?" Sure, she and that hog of a fiancé of hers were two of a kind, but wasn't there a respectable mourning period one observed after the death of a parent before electing to partake in any Holy Sacraments?
"Yeah, really."
"Damn." Sirius took one hand off her shoulder to run through his now hippie-length hair. "When?"
Lily gave a great sniff. "Last Saturday."
"Good Lord."
She untangled her fingers from his shirt so that she could go to sit at their pathetically small table. "Yeah, I know."
Sirius whistled and leaned back against the counter. "How'd you find out?"
Lily stared intently at the skillet hanging over their stove. "I, um, I sort of popped back home after work."
Sirius' mouth gaped open like a fish's. "Why?"
She grimaced apologetically. She knew his opinion of all things Spinner's End. "It was only supposed to be for a couple minutes. I wound up stay for a lot longer than I thought I would. That's why there're no groceries."
Oh yeah. Groceries. Good thing they were eating out. Supposedly.
"Yeah, but why?"
Lily sighed and rubbed her temples. One of her elbows was rested on the wooden table. "This old hippie named Iris came into the store this morning looking for a book on acupuncture, which got me thinking about Mum. I started remembering things like how her voice sounded and her freckles and I realized that we don't really have anything of hers here, so I decided I'd Apparate back to Spinner's End before I went for the groceries to get some old pictures of her and Dad."
"So what, Petunia answered the door and flaunted it at you?"
"No, they weren't home. In fact, they've changed the locks."
That rat bastard.
"I wasn't far enough away from the neighbors to risk Alohomoraing the back door, so I went around to the front. Petunia's always left a key under the mat; I guess she didn't change that caveat when she changed the locks. So I was walking up the steps when the old man who lives next door waved at me.
"'They're not supposed to be back 'til next week,' he said. He's always been a little off, so I just kind of smiled at him and went up anyway. I pulled out the key and unlocked the door. I couldn't hardly get the thing open because all the post had piled up on the other side of it. I knew something was wrong then because Petunia's usually got her hand at the slot to catch it before it even hit the floor." She sniffed again. "I picked all the post up and took it into the kitchen. Petunia always sorts through it on the counter beside the refrigerator. And there it was, sitting there all nice and cut out."
Lily's voice cracked, so Sirius finished for her. "Their wedding announcement."
She gulped and nodded. "I just stood there and stared at it like an idiot. And then I started crying and I couldn't stop and I just sat there on the floor for I don't know how long and―" She shuddered. "I'm not sure how I got back here. I guess I was on autopilot." Her shoulders shook again. "Why does this hurt so much? It's not like we were ever really friends or anything. This is absolutely the sort of thing she would do. Vernon even moreso."
Sirius pushed himself off the counter to kneel in front of her. "Ah, Lily Lou." She swayed forward to rest her face against his hair. He could feel the bridge of her nose mold against the curve of his forehead. Their fingers intertwined on her lap.
"She didn't have to send me an invitation or anything. I just assumed there'd be some sort of, I don't know, acknowledgement or something. I mean, I did send her our number and address. And she's my only bloody sister."
Her jewel eyes could have been glass.
Sirius felt his jaw set. "You don't need her."
Lily straightened up slightly, a crinkle appearing between her eyebrows. "Sirius―"
"You don't need her." His rough hands slid up her forearms to grasp her elbows. "Look, she's treated you like shit, especially right after your dad died. She's never been anything but horrible to you."
"Yeah, but―"
"Lily, face it; she's bad for you. In fact, you're better off without her. This was actually probably a good thing. Now you can make a clean break from her and go on with your life."
She stared at him open-mouthed, her head tilted incredulously to the side. "Is this supposed to make me feel better?"
Sirius exhaled deeply and glanced at the clock. Eight-fifteen. They could still risk showing up. And a demonstration was definitely in order now.
He stood up and walked out the kitchen to the coat rack. "Grab the pudding, would you?"
Lily turned in her chair. "Excuse me?"
He reentered the kitchen, pulling on his leather jacket as he went. "The pudding. Over there. Come on, Lil, we're gonna be even later."
She shook her head in disbelief. "What?"
Sirius sighed and grabbed the pudding himself. Then he made the short walk to their front door and opened it. "C'mon, I'm taking you out tonight."
Lily leaned her head against the back of her chair. Even with the tear streaks on her cheeks she looked like an angel. "Sirius, my sister just got married without me. That's probably not the best idea right now."
He gripped the door handle. "Lily, I've been planning this for a while now and I'll be damned if I let your cow of a sister ruin it. This is important. I want to show you why she doesn't really matter."
She sighed, stood up, and rubbed the cuff of her jacket across her cheeks. "Okay, okay." Walking to her boyfriend, she linked her arm through his, careful not to knock the pudding. Shutting the door behind them, she said, "But tomorrow or the next day when things go back to normal you're not allowed to be this bossy."
They walked out their building to the back alley, which had been designated the "Apparition Spot". Feeling Lily's small hand gripping his arm as they spun was becoming all too familiar, and as they whirled to a halt on a dark wooded path he was careful to compensate for the balance of both her and the pudding. She tottered for a second but began stumbling forward when he said, "Let's go. They've probably already put the baby to sleep."
When the spots stopped dancing in front of his eyes, Lily was asking, "Where are we, anyway?"
He glanced at her, the moonlight creating silver streaks across her jade eyes. They would have been mind-blowingly gorgeous had they not been the Slytherin colors. "I think it's time you met my family."
She stopped dead in her tracks.
"No, not them."
She let out a lung-full of air. "Oh, well, I was about to say." They were walking again. "So, um, the Potters?"
Sirius shook his head. "No. That would be a bit awkward, don't you think?"
Lily snorted. "Try really awkward."
"Yeah, well. So we're having dinner with my cousin Andromeda and her husband. You remember me talking about them, right?"
Lily nodded. "Uh-huh. They're the only ones that don't make you curse when you mention them."
"'At a girl. Their daughter Dora is probably in bed by now, but if I know Andy she's kept Ted off the roast for us."
"Why didn't you just say so?"
"I wanted to surprise you. You've been a little off this week and I figured this would be fun. You'll really like them."
"Yeah, but I look a wreck."
Sirius stopped walking and scrutinized her face. She was paler than normal, wisps of her hair were falling out of her messy bun, and her eyes were a little swollen. Perfect. "No you don't."
She smiled weakly and leaned up to kiss him. The pudding in his hands prevented him from holding her like every cell in his body ached to, but the kiss was still sweet and gentle and very them. After a few seconds Lily pulled back and they resumed walking up the path in silence. They were close enough now to see the porch light Andromeda had left on for them. Idiot. Didn't she know she had Death Eaters after her?
"I didn't get the pictures."
Sirius jolted out of his internal monologue to stare at Lily. "What was that?"
"The pictures of my mum. I was so upset about Petunia that I forgot to get them."
"Oh. Well, don't worry. We open late tomorrow, so I can pop in for a bit and get them. Maybe put the post up so your sister won't know you were there."
She smiled tenderly up at him. "I love you."
"Love you, too." She squeezed his hip with the hand she'd wrapped across his waist.
By then they'd climbed the steps up to Andromeda's porch. Sirius rapped on the door, and they could hear bustling from inside as his cousin hurried to answer.
"By the way, that pudding looks ridiculous."
Sirius' head snapped around just as Andromeda swung the door open. Damn, that girl had good timing. She should play more pranks.
"Well, it's about time you showed up. You've missed Nymphadora, by the way. She was so excited to see her uncle, but now you've gone and broken her little heart."
Sirius huffed. "Nice to see you too, Andy. Thanks for leaving the light on for us. I mean, it's not like you've got a sister in a homicidal cult or anything."
"Har har. Isn't there something you want to say to me?"
"Yeah; the Sorting Hat wanted to put you in Ravenclaw, but you wimped out and begged it to put you in Slytherin instead."
"Yes, and you, my love, once ate so many of my peanut butter cookies that you were passed out for a whole day. We had to prop you up in the corner."
Lily looked nervously between the two. "When I was ten I accidentally cursed toad warts onto my sister's back."
Sirius snorted loudly as Andromeda smirked sarcastically at her. "Haven't we all? Get in here, you two; I've left Ted alone with the roast. Sirius, that pudding looks ridiculous."
Had Lily not been so shell-shocked she probably would have laughed as she followed Sirius into Andromeda's cozy entry. From farther in the house a male voice called, "Ah, has the blood traitor decided to grace us with his presence?"
In a stage whisper, Andromeda called back, "Hush, Ted, you'll wake the baby."
"Technically, a three year old is not a baby." Ted, a sturdy man, appeared in the door that led to the kitchen. "Took you long enough, Sir." Turning to Lily, he said, "Ah, you must be the girlfriend. Good to meet you."
"Here." Andromeda swept the pudding from Sirius' arms to her husband's. "Put this on the table, dear." As he retreated, Ted could be heard wondering, "What the hell is it supposed to be?"
Sirius scowled darkly.
Andromeda reached over and pulled her cousin into a hug and kissed the side of his shaggy head. "It's so good to see you, baby." She kissed him again. "I've missed you." He squeezed her in return.
When Andromeda pulled back Sirius wrapped his arm around Lily's shoulders. "Andy, this is Lily. My girlfriend."
The girlfriend in questioned smiled shyly as Andromeda took her hands. Before she could say anything, though, the older woman kissed her on both cheeks. "I'm so glad to finally meet you. You're all he ever writes me about anymore."
Lily smiled a blinding, genuine smile that Sirius hadn't seen all week. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed it. "Thank you. It's nice to finally meet you, too. You're the only one he has anything nice to say about."
Sirius pulled her closer to him.
His cousin beamed. "Let's eat, shall we? Although, by now Ted's probably inhaled that awful pudding." She made to walk into the kitchen, but she stopped in the doorway to smile back at the teenagers.
"You know, it's so nice to have the whole family together for dinner." And with that she'd gone to tease her husband.
Sirius glanced down at Lily. She smiled up at him, her eyes bright, and kissed his cheek. He jerked his head at the doorway, and she grinned.
Yeah, it was nice to get the family together.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Two months is completely inexcusable. Especially to come back with just a filler chapter. But dang if it isn't a long one. With an Andromeda appearance. There are several plus sides to this, though. A) My last two plays of the schools year are over and done with, so I officially have a life again. B) Starting Wednesday, my schedule will be pretty light for the next couple weeks, so I should be able to get a fair amount of writing down. When I'm not job hunting. And finally C) We're officially done with Lily's family crap. Yay for no more family crap! Or for a little while, at least.
This chapter's title supposed to be What Is Life by George Harrison, my favorite Beatle.
Thanks every one of you so much for the reviews. They're incredible delightful. And a special thank you to all my old and new readers. To the golden oldies, thanks for sticking around. Your faith is inspiring, seeing as I've got none for myself. To my newbies, and there were quite a lot of you after the last chapter, Hi! Nice to meet you. By the way, did ya'll know this story has gotten 3,500+ hits? Good work, all! Please keep it up. And remember those reviews. The chapter titles will be getting better, I promise.
Til Next Time!