Chapter 14

Naina

You wake in the hospital to the beep of machines and the stillness of a closed room. At least they sent me somewhere private, you think groggily as you open your eyes, you'd half expected to wake up in the public ward surrounded by the twin buzz of overhead fans and flies and the crying relatives of other people and none of your own.

Instead you open your eyes to see Mr Patel sitting by your bedside, a relieved expression on his face since he had obviously spotted you stirring.

"How did I get here?" you ask him groggily, lifting a hand to touch your head before a sharp pain reminds you that it's connected to an IV needle.

"I'm not sure exactly…" he tells you, "By the time I came out of the room you were already gone. I heard silence… but you had told me to stay in there until you said it was safe to come out."

"Well obviously I never told you to open the door," you comment dryly, "So how did you get out?"

"Some other army officers arrived, they said they were the backup that you'd called for."

Well… better late than never.

Scrap that… they were so late it might as well have been never.

"You were already gone by then, the place was a mess, bodies and blood stains everywhere and I feared the worst. They asked if I knew where you were, but I didn't have a clue. I thought that maybe the attackers had taken you with them."

You frown, as you struggle to remember something. A voice… a shout that sounded like your name… and you had tried to stand, to see the face of the person who had saved you.

"Then what happened to me?" you ask Mr Patel, "How did I get here?"

"The hospital called your superiors and told them that you'd been dropped off by two men who refused to give their names. The hospital staff said that they threatened to come back and shoot everybody if you weren't treated and wouldn't leave until you were admitted to the operating theatre."

Despite yourself and the pain you currently feel, you first smile and then begin to laugh. You laugh until your entire chest aches with it, until you're worried that you might be bruising your ribs by doing so, while Mr Patel looks at you as if you've just gone crazy.

You have no proof of course, nothing solid, just a nagging suspicion, a feeling, and the sound of your name…

"What happened?" Mr Patel asks you, confused.

"I'm alive," you declare to him.

When you had given up all hope of being so.

/

The security camera footage is missing of course, you hadn't really expected it to be there but a part of you had hoped. The staff aren't helpful either, you wonder if they've been bribed to tell you nothing. You wonder if you could possibly bribe them more and give up on the possibility, your savings are meagre.

For three days as you recover, you ask everybody you can, and nobody seems to know a thing.

The doctors get tired of telling you to go back to bed and rest instead of hobbling around on your crutches and you get tired of telling them to piss off because you're a soldier and you know perfectly well how much exercise you can do without injuring yourself.

You also find out, through one of the only ward boys that accepts your bribe, that your superiors had wanted to move you from this hospital to a military one but Mr Patel hadn't allowed them to, saying that he would pay all the bills.

Figures.

On the fourth day, one of your superiors comes to visit, the Colonel who had given you this assignment in the first place. He tells you how proud everybody is of you and that a commendation is going to be put on your official record, you've been recommended to receive a medal as well.

"I don't need a medal, Sir," you tell him, "I was just doing my job."

"It was still an amazing feat to have saved Mr Patel's life under the circumstances." he replies, "Such bravery deserves to be recognised."

"Such an 'amazing feat' would've been a lot easier if the back up I had requested had come on time… Sir." You tell him, not giving a damn if the harshness in your voice loses you your medal recommendation.

The Colonel looks uncomfortable, "It was unfortunate that they were delayed… we're investigating what occurred."

"Actually, Sir, I wanted to ask you if you know how I ended up in the hospital." You begin, trying to sound casual. "I've heard that two men dropped me off…"

The Colonel's expression changes, there is a brief moment of almost fear before he brings it under control. "We believe that two passers by had heard the gun shots and found you there… they brought you to the hospital."

Yeah right.

The Colonel makes his excuses and leaves as quickly as possible and sitting there in your bed you ponder anonymous phone calls and simple passers by that take you to hospital and threaten to shoot everybody if you're not treated.

If there were only a way to prove it, a way to know once and for all.

But deep down inside you there is no doubt at all. Even if you live to be a hundred years old you will never forget the sound of that voice, not for a single moment.

You don't know where he is, or what he's been doing all this time or why he never came back. In the end all that matters is that he's alive, that at this moment wherever he is, he is breathing, his heart is beating.

It is enough for you, it has to be enough for you, you can't hope to be able to meet him, to see him again, to just once touch him, to wrap your arms around him and feel his warmth.

You can't hope for that…

And yet…

And yet you can't stop yourself from hoping for it either.