After Damon and Elena took off, Stefan had to compel Elena's aunt Jenna that nothing out of the ordinary had happened and that Elena was safe and with her friends. When he was alone again in Elena's room, he sat down on her bed with his head cradled in his hands. Gradually his eyes were brimming with tears that leaked into his hands. This time he wouldn't lose control, though. All he wanted was to be Elena's fantasy, to be the star she called upon when she was in need of a wish. He could be with her forever and it still wouldn't be enough. He sighed and rubbed the tears away. He fell back on Elena's bed, staring up at the blank ceiling. He willed himself to fall asleep, to forget the morning's events.
While Stefan slept, Damon and Elena were huddled together. Damon watched Elena's every expression as if it were crucial. Elena's heart was aflutter. She blushed when she looked up and noticed Damon watching her intently. He had already filled her in on Katherine, and she was taking it rather well.
Now, all Elena wanted to do was nap and let all emotion's fall away. "Damon, I'm gonna take a nap." Damon nodded and kissed her forehead.
"Sweet dreams." After Elena was tucked under the ugly maroon blanket, Damon looked at her longingly, like she wasn't really his for the taking. It was all so wonderful, he was having a hard time breathing, but now was not the time to be feeling insecure. He gently kissed her eyelids, getting a small jump from her, but not interrupting her descent into slumber.
While Elena slept, Damon jotted on a complementary motel notepad.
These past few months have been hectic. There have been more days where I wanted to cry these recent couple of weeks than I have all the time I've been living as a vampire. It's pathetic, really. I don't know what it is, but Elena makes me feel. She makes me care. I hated it at first, but I think I'm opening up to it.
He sighed. Rarely did he ever write and when he did he wasn't quite sure what made him do it or what he should say.
I don't feel good enough for her.. It's like she was meant to be with an angel but I'm the opposite. It's so difficult at the end of the day, feeling all my memories building up, cursing me. I want Elena to feel weightless with me, hopeful. She needs a life with less stress and more time to be herself, more time to be with me. I feel so selfish sometimes when I look at her. I even feel guilt when she mentions Stefan, but most of all…. I feel love. For Elena and Stefan both.
He put the pen down and stared at the sheet of paper with his slanted handwriting all over it. He wanted to crumple it up and throw it out, but instead he slipped it into his jean's pocket. He kicked off his shoes and quietly climbed into the bed next to Elena. With greedy hands, he clutched her to himself. He pressed a soft kiss against her shoulder and fell asleep holding her to him.