Chapter 14: Dying Sucks Pt. 2, Day 41
Charlie stopped in his spot. "You mean he'll die." I looked up, my eyes moving from Charlie to Jack. Boone couldn't die, he just couldn't. Maybe it was selfish, but I didn't want him to leave me alone on this island.
"He's not going to die." Jack said it with such feeling; I couldn't help but believe him. My heart soared, clinging to any hope.
Even in the best of situations, Boone would be in trouble. He had severe internal injuries and a broken leg amongst other things. We most certainly were not in the best of situations.
I kept my watch over him, only taking a moment away to find one of my abandoned water bottles by the waterfall. Someone had organized them and put them in my pack. I pulled one out and walked back over to Boone's side. Taking a small cloth from the nearby cart, I soaked it with water and dabbed it on his lips. He couldn't get dehydrated now, not in his condition.
Minutes passed and suddenly, silence. I moved my eyes up from Boone and met Jin's brown ones. He started babbling in Korean and I glanced back at Sun to see if she would translate. "Claire!" He exclaimed and we all understood that one word.
"Claire?" Charlie asked. "What about Claire?"
"Claire's with Kate. She's in labor," Sun translated to Jack urgently. I took in a quick breath, wondering what Jack would think was more important, Boone or Claire. Would he leave Boone here with Sun and me to deliver Claire's baby?
Jack asked questions with Sun translating back and forth. Charlie began racing around, grabbing towels, water bottles and anything else he thought they might need. "You'll be there by then, right?" He asked Jack, but Jack just shook his head.
"No. I'm not going anywhere. I need to stay here," he said, finishing softly. His eyes fixed on Boone and a fresh wave of tears fell from my eyes. He thought Boone's condition was more important. But I wasn't quite sure if that was a good thing or not.
Charlie left a few minutes later with Jin, leaving us alone in silence. The sun was setting and we went around lighting torches, shedding light in the dim, dark cave. It was at times like these I missed electricity and light switches. Firelight was never bright enough.
Jack bent down to check Boone's breathing as I sat back on my rock and took his hand. I brushed a lock of hair from his eyes and placed a light kiss on his hand. I wanted Boone to wake up and laugh at me for being silly. Together we would walk back to our tent and cuddle underneath the airplane blankets.
"I screwed myself up pretty bad." My head jerked up and Jack spun on his spot to face the bed.
"Hey," I said softly, gazing into his eyes.
"My leg hurts." Boone winced as he shifted on the makeshift cot.
"It's broken, try not to move it. Can you breathe all right?" Jack asked, checking Boone's pulse and the breathing tube inserted in his chest.
"It fell. The plane. There was a plane." Boone gasped as he struggled to get the words out.
"Locke said you fell from a cliff." Jack tried to make sense of what Boone was saying.
"No… It fell, the plane." Boone whispered again through ragged breathes.
"What plane?" Jack looked up at me, confused. Was he talking about our plane?
Boone's head rolled back, away from Jack's face. "It was because of the hatch. They built a hatch… Locke said not to tell…"
"What hatch?" I asked, squeezing his hand, trying to keep him with us.
"Shannon? Shannon." Boone drifted off, in and out of consciousness.
"We need to find Shannon," I said softly. "He needs her here."
Jack looked up at me from the tubing and needle. "I know, but we have no idea where she is. And I have this feeling that you aren't going to look for her."
"You're right on that one," I said softly, shifting my gaze back down to the bruised body of my dear friend, my boyfriend.
I stared back down at Boone. When I glanced up again, Jack had wandered off, far enough away that I could whisper and he wouldn't hear me. I thought he might be letting me have some private time, but who knew. He was probably just taking a moment to collect his thoughts.
"I'm sorry," I whispered softly, not knowing if he could hear me. My fingers traced patterns on the back of his hand, circles and curl-i-cues. His fingers were bruised, covered with dirt and blood.
"What are you sorry for?" Boone asked, his eyes opening, reveling their blue depths. Every breath, every word seemed to be a struggle for him. "You didn't do anything." He gasped as a pain shot through his stomach and I cringed.
I smiled through my tears. "I don't know. It sounded like the right thing to say." Struggling to keep myself together, I forced another smile. "Is there anything I can get you? Water? Some fruit?"
"A cheeseburger sounds great," he whispered, a tiny smile turning his lips upward.
"You don't eat cheeseburgers." I said, allowing myself a small smile.
"True." Boone closed his eyes as another shot of pain seared through his arm… or leg… or both.
I brushed his hair from his face and smiled down at him. "Hey, don't forget. You promised to take me to that sushi restaurant in Malibu once we're rescued. And I'm supposed to meet your mum. You promised." I let the tears fall, hoping he wouldn't notice.
"Now I'm sorry." His voice was rough and strained, causing me to struggle to hear him.
"You can't leave me damn it. You can't leave me alone on this island. I won't let you," my voice trailed off as his eyes slowly closed again. "Jack!" I screamed, unsure of whether he was merely sleeping or … well, I didn't want to entertain that thought.
"What?" Jack ran up the natural stairs and knelt next to the cot. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know. Is he sleeping? Or…" My voice shook and I panicked. He couldn't leave me, not now, not after everything we'd been through so far.
Jack leaned down, placing his cheek an inch from Boone's nose and mouth. "Yes, he's just unconscious." He leaned back on his heels and checked Boone's pulse. "Why don't you go get some rest Kalie?"
"I'll rest when you rest. You can't get rid of me that easy Jack Shepard. I'm not going anywhere. If Shannon isn't here, he needs someone who lo… someone who cares about him." I looked back at his face and reached up to brush a lock of hair from his bloody face. I picked up a cloth Sun had left along with a water bottle. Wetting the cloth, I carefully wiped some of the blood and dirt from his face.
Jack shook his head and turned to fiddle with the needles Sun had gotten for him. He was going to have to give him a transfusion of his own blood, and hope that the effects weren't disastrous.
I continued to pray. I had to believe that God would grant a miracle, that he would help Boone live through this. "I'll have to take you to Connecticut so you can meet my father," I whispered to him. "Daddy'll just love you. And maybe one day, we'll go to England. I can show you my old house and neighborhood. That is, if we ever decide to get on a plane again." I paused, feeling myself get angry at him over nothing at all.
"Are you really going to leave me? Are you going to make me be alone on this island? Sayid has Shannon, Jack has Kate and Charlie and Claire have each other. Who will I have? No one if you leave me."
Jack looked up from where he was fastening the needle in his vein. "Kalie, you're never alone. All of us are here for each other." He took the other needle and stuck it into a vein in Boone's arm. "Don't worry. He's going to be fine."
Minutes passed. I squeezed Boone's hand and kept whispering things to him, hoping he could hear me. When Jack bent down to look into Boone's eyes, I forced my gaze up.
"Damn it," he exclaimed, standing back up. Sun and I glanced up at him and then down at Boone.
"It's not working," I said looking up and down Boone's battered body.
"The blood isn't the problem, it's his leg. All the blood is pooling there." He ran a hand over his hair, obviously stressed out.
I looked up, confused. "Why is that happening?"
"He didn't break this leg in a fall. It's crushed. Something crushed his leg." Jack checked the needle in his arm and leaned against the wall of the cave. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed as Sun pulled the needle from his arm.
"You have given him enough. Any more and you will get sick." Sun carefully removed the needle from Boone's arm and placed them on the small cart. Jack walked out of the caves, leaving me alone with Sun.
"Do you think he's going to make it?" I asked the young Korean woman.
Sun shrugged her shoulders and looked down at Boone's injured body. "I do not know."
We both stared down. I wasn't sure what Sun was thinking, but I had prayers flying through my head. I squeezed his hand lightly, hoping he could feel it through his pain.
Jack and Michael walked into the caves and over to the cargo hold. Michael was taking things out while Jack examined the hatch. "What are you doing?" Sun asked, walking quickly over to where they were standing. I couldn't hear everything that was being said, but I do believe I heard something about cutting off his leg.
A short while later, Michael and Jack came back with an improvised stretcher. "He's bleeding inside Jack," Sun said, holding up a cloth covered in blood.
"What are you doing?" I asked loudly, jumping up from her seat on the floor. They laid the stretcher next to Boone and were standing over him, Jack at his head Michael at his feet. "What do you think you're doing?" I backed up as they gently lifted him from the seat cushions onto the tarp.
"We have to cut the leg off. It's his only chance." They bent down again, this time to lift the tarp off the ground.
"No!" Sun exclaimed. "He's bleeding inside! You can not save him Jack!"
"Don't tell me what I can't do!" I and Sun stop, both staring at the doctor. "On three. One… two… three…" The two men lifted the tarp off the ground and moved over to the cargo hold.
"Jack, this is stupid! You can't do this Jack! It won't help him," I protested to deaf ears. Jack didn't seem to care. All he was worried about was making sure Boone survived and that meant doing whatever it took. Even if it wouldn't work.
Sun took my hand and held it tightly as the two men carried him to the cargo hold. I watched as Michael and Jack laid Boone down on the ground and shifted him into place. Jack tied a tourniquet made out of a belt and placed it around the leg. He glanced over at Michael. "You can go. You don't need to see this," he said, nodding towards the exit. "Kalie, you too."
I dropped Sun's hand and moved over to Boone's body. "No, I'm staying." I held his hand tightly as I glared up at Jack. "I'm staying with him and you can't make me go." I didn't want to watch this, didn't want to see him in that much pain; but I wouldn't leave him alone. No one should be alone during this.
"Fine, suit yourself." Jack glanced behind me then back at the cargo hold. He readjusted the towel on Boone's leg then lifted the door. It took all his courage, all his effort to hold onto the door and prepare to drop it, severing Boone's leg from his body. I could see the fear in his eyes, even though he tried to hide it.
I turned back to stare into Boone's face, still seeing his handsome features. I ignored the blood, cuts and scrapes, seeing only his beautiful pale skin. "Remember, you promised you wouldn't leave. You said you'd take care of Shannon… and me. You promised to stay until we were rescued," I whispered into his ear. I lightly kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand gently.
I nodded to Jack then looked away again, terrified of the pain Boone was about to feel. Jack lifted the door and prepared to drop it. "Wait," a strained voice whispered from the cot. "Wait. Don't do it."
Jack turned towards the voice as did I. "I have to. I can save you if…"
"I'm all mashed up inside. You know it." Boone's eyes found mine and the tears began to stream down my face. I didn't want him to die.
"No," Jack started, "I'm not going to let you give up that easy."
"No. You have to let me go. I know you made a promise, but I'm letting you off the hook." Boone whispered with his eyes focused on Jack's. His head turned so that his eyes met mine again. "You'll be okay." I smiled, nodding as my tears dropped onto his bare chest.
I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand. "I'm going to miss you, so much," I said softly.
"I'm sorry," Jack said, looking away from us.
"Don't be," Boone whispered.
We moved him from underneath the cargo hold back to the makeshift bed of first-class plane cushions. Jack, Sun, Michael and I carried him as gently as we could across the cave.
The only sound heard in the cave was the staggered breathing of an injured Boone. I held tight to his hand, still praying silently in my mind. This time, however, I was praying for his quick death. He was in so much pain; all I wanted at the moment was for it to go away. "I love you," I whispered into his ear. "I love you so much."
"Tell Shannon… tell Shannon… tell…," Boone whispered, his breath all but gone. His last breath gasped through the cave and I broke.
"No!" I screamed through my tears. "I'm not ready for him to go yet." The tears gushed from my eyes and my breathing gasped. "You can't leave me." I stared down, holding tightly to his lifeless hand. "Please God no."
Jack leaned down and closed Boone's still beautiful blue eyes. His eyes that showed all his emotions had now lost their spark. He was gone.
AN: All I can say is..... :-( He's gone.
Oh, and I took the chapter title "Dying Sucks" from the season 2 episode "Abandon." It's what Boone says to Shannon at her father's wake.
All dialogue and characters that seem familiar are property of Lost, the writers/producers and ABC/Disney. I only own the plot and Kalie.