Ugh, what a week. I know I missed some review replies this time, and for that I sincerely apologize. I can't even blame FFN for failing, it was my own computer problems and busy life. PSA – don't let your toddler randomly bang on computer keys, they can actually change some pretty important settings, and it's really hard to figure out what they did! It's weeks like this I'm glad the story is already written, because there's no way I would have gotten an update done. Thanks for being patient with me!

In spite of my fail this week, my pre-readers BookishQua and Twilover76 and my beta Detochkina were all rock stars as usual. Thank you, ladies, you're beyond amazing! They're all wonderful authors, if you're looking for something to read.

Characters belong to SM. Darn.

Edward

.

I woke Sunday morning stretched out in my comfortable new bed, though sadly not with Bella in my arms. It was too early for that, I knew, but it didn't stop me from wishing it could happen.

After we left the park we'd eaten a casual dinner, and I dropped her off at her door with a searing goodnight kiss that left both of us wanting more. Well, I wanted more at least. Judging by the way her eyes glazed over and she tripped over the air when she turned to go into her apartment, I imagined she wanted more too. And I was definitely willing to give it to her.

Parting reluctantly with my blanket cocoon, I hit the shower and went downstairs to nuke some breakfast. Jasper was already at the table eating a bowl of rubbery scrambled eggs fresh from the microwave. He looked up with a grin when I entered the room.

"Bella's not here, is she?" he asked, dramatically craning his neck to see behind me.

I slammed the freezer door a little harder than I needed to, and threw the breakfast bowl in the microwave to warm up. "No, dude, it was our first date. Anyway, weren't you the one giving me the big brother shit the other day?"

"Right on, man." He saluted me with his fork. "Alice isn't here, in case you were wondering. She stayed at her place last night so she and Bella could gossip about us."

I smiled, wondering what Bella would have said about me, but was pulled from my thoughts when a shrill beep announced that my food was ready.

"So…" Jasper said around a bite of eggs. "How did it go?"

"Great. Really great." I grinned as I poured my coffee. "I'm going to call her today. Is that too soon? Fuck it, I don't care. I've got to ask her out again."

My roommate smiled. "Then call her today. I'm happy for you, Edward. My little boy is all grown up," he whined, swiping at his eyes to get rid of fake tears.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut the fuck up, bro. You still go down in the record books as the fastest guy to be pussy-whipped, ever. In the history of the world, even."

He shrugged. "What can I say? When it's right, it's right." He threw away his empty plastic bowl and fork and looked at the clock. "Damn, I've got to get going. I'm working today so I can have tomorrow off, you know. Just for you, man." He thumped his chest and pointed at me. "I can't wait to take that bitch Victoria down."

"Thanks, Jazz. See you later," I called after him as he headed for the door.

After breakfast, alone in the house, I wondered what to do with the empty day that loomed before me. I played some video games and messed around on the computer, but when I thought about calling Bella I was reminded of our conversation about what I wanted to do with my life.

Pulling up a search engine, I looked through the website for Legal Aid, but it seemed like a lot of what they did was help renters and property owners. While it was a worthy cause, I didn't want to get involved if it could make things difficult for Bella. Looking further, I found a nonprofit that dealt with immigration and family law, and got excited picturing working to reunite family members. I'd still get to sue the government, but it would be federal cases far removed from the city offices. I sent the director an e-mail explaining that I was looking for volunteer work and closed my laptop with a satisfied sigh.

Almost on cue, my phone beeped with a text from Emmett.

Baseball at the park in 30. u in?

I texted that I was on my way, stopping in my room to change and to grab my glove. A pickup baseball game would be the perfect distraction for my nerves over what was planned for tomorrow, and I needed all the help I could get.

~~~~~~~SiC~~~~~~~~~~

Monday morning, Jasper and I dressed in jeans and some newly purchased work boots and headed for Emmett's construction site. He'd instructed us to walk confidently to the trailer at precisely 10:05 A.M. and wait for him there. He'd even made up the code word 'donut' to text us if the coast wasn't clear. We proceeded as planned, however, and we were putting on vests and hard hats when Emmett came in the door.

"Hey. Did anyone see you?" he asked nervously.

I scoffed. "I'm sure they did, Emmett, but you've got tons of guys working here. Who would notice two more?"

He shifted his eyes from side to side. "You never know." He sighed, then pouted a little. "I really wanted to use my code word."

"There'll be other chances, Emmett," Jasper reassured him. "Now, where's this asshole James?"

"He's working on a wall on the south end of the building. I set up some pipes nearby, so you guys can take them apart like you know what you're doing," Emmett said.

"Awesome," I said, grateful that I had friends who not only came up with this hare-brained scheme but were willing to help execute it. "Everyone clear?" We'd rehearsed our act a few times, but I wanted to make sure we were straight on who said what.

Jasper and Emmett nodded, and we shared a three-way fist bump before leaving the trailer. Emmett led us to where James was working and started speaking loudly as we neared a tangle of pipes. "So, this is what the inspector said needed to be totally redone, something about the joints not being soldered correctly?" Or not soldered at all, from the look of things.

I shook my head like I knew what I was doing. "Jeez, Emmett, I'm sorry - this is a real mess. I wanted to be here myself to do this part; it's tricky. But I had to go to court last week to testify for my buddy, remember?" James' dirty blond ponytail was just a few feet away, and I was sure he could hear us.

"Oh, yeah, what was that about again?" Emmett asked casually. "Didn't his girl screw him over or something?"

I nodded, encouraged when James tilted his head toward us and slowed his work. "Yeah, it was such bullshit. Basically, his girlfriend scammed some elderly couple out of a bunch of money by claiming she was pregnant with their long-lost grandchild. Then when she got caught, she blamed it all on him."

"That's ridiculous, man," Jasper piped in. "And he couldn't do anything about it?"

James had stopped working entirely, and was quite obviously listening in on our conversation. Which was exactly what we wanted. "No, it was her word against his." I shook my head. "She cried to the police and told them he made her do it, so now he's under arrest and his life is totally ruined. Manipulative bitch," I spat, the venom in my words intended for Victoria.

"Wow, so what did you do in court?" Emmett asked.

"I had to be a character witness for him, to say that he wasn't into shit like that, you know? But he couldn't afford a fancy lawyer, so his public defender thinks he's probably going to get stuck with something. Probably even going to go to jail," I said sadly, in James' direction.

Jasper grunted in disgust. "That's bullshit. Fucking bitches, but what are you going to do? They can turn on the waterworks and shit, and people feel sorry for them." I briefly mused what Alice would do if she heard him, but I held in my laughter knowing that Jasper was just playing his part.

Emmett snorted. "Poor fucking idiot. He should have tape-recorded her ass confessing to that shit, that's what he should have done."

James was playing perfectly into our trap, leaning further over the brick wall he was working on, and looking deep in thought.

I laughed. "That's actually a fucking brilliant idea, Em. If he would have had her on tape running her mouth about what she was planning, he could have avoided the whole mess." I shrugged. "Too late for him, though."

Jasper moved towards the pipes and started disassembling the silly maze Emmett had erected. "Yeah, thanks, Em. I'll remember that if my girl ever gets any brilliant fucking ideas to rip somebody off." He chuckled and we all joined in.

Emmett patted me on the back as I went to help Jasper. "Anytime, guys. Good luck with this mess." He moved on to where James was leaning motionless beside the half-built brick wall, looking slightly dazed. "What's going on, James? Is there a problem?"

James started and reached for his tools, only to put them down again. "Well, I… I'm sorry, I heard what you guys were talking about just now. Do you think that could really happen? Is your buddy really going to jail?"

It took a lot of effort, but I managed to keep a despondent look on my face. "Looks that way right now. His whole life is fucked, just because he trusted a stupid broad."

His face paled. "Well, see… my girl, she's up to something, and I'm not really sure if it's legal or not, but…"

Emmett looked astonished, playing his role perfectly. "Really? You've got to get her ass on tape, then. Look out for number one, James. That's you." He poked the smaller man in the chest for emphasis, and James stumbled back a step before nodding thoughtfully.

"Hey, you know what?" Emmett continued. "I've got that mini recorder I use to tape the construction meetings. I need it this week, so I can't let you take it home, but if you could get her to meet you here in the construction trailer..."

James perked up. "Really? I could probably ask her to bring me lunch today," he said. "Do you think the trailer would be empty then?"

"Yeah, it's nice out, so I can get everyone to eat outside," Emmett replied, ever the problem solver.

"Wow, that would be great. Thanks, Emmett." James had such hopefulness in his voice that I almost felt sorry for him. But not quite.

Emmett waved dismissively. "I can't have my bricklayer going to jail, can I? It would throw the whole schedule off. Let me know what time she's coming, and I'll make sure the trailer is free. I'll turn the mini recorder on and put it under a hard hat on the drafting table – that way she won't be able to see it." He patted James comfortingly on the shoulder. "Now, you just have to think of how to bring up the subject to get her to confess."

The idiot still looked worried, but he smiled and nodded. "I can do that, I think," he agreed. "Thanks, Em."

"Anytime, bro," Emmett said with a grin. He deserved an Oscar for this performance. I had no idea that my buddy was such a fantastic actor.

Jasper and I continued messing around with the pipes as James pulled out his cell phone to call his evil girlfriend. We slowly disassembled the mess, sorting the pieces and putting them in a box to return to the real plumber. Emmett had bribed him with a free lunch to let us borrow the parts.

Of course, our main objective was to listen in on James' conversation, and I offered Jasper a subtle fist-bump when it appeared Victoria agreed to meet her boyfriend here for lunch at noon. Our plan was going perfectly, and James immediately ran to tell Emmett his good news.

Looking at my watch, I saw we had under an hour to kill until Phase Two of our plan. I nudged Jasper and showed him the time as James returned with a smug smile on his face, and we slowed our work speed so that we'd be done at the right time. We needed to take our places before Victoria arrived and saw us, which would ruin the whole plan.

Precisely at 11:25 A.M., we packed up our boxes of pipes and wished James good luck before returning the parts to the back of the plumber's van. We walked quickly but purposefully to the blue cargo van we'd rented and parked on the street nearest the construction trailer, and clambered in the back before anyone could notice.

Jasper laughed as he stretched out his legs on the rough gray carpet. "That was fun, man. He bought it hook, line and sinker."

I was still nervous for Phase Two, but I had to smile at how well things were going so far. "Seems that way. Now, let's get this stuff set up for the test."

Phase Two of our plan consisted of a wireless transmitting microphone we'd purchased at a spy store and planted in the trailer the night before. We had really wanted one that was disguised as a pen or a salt shaker, because that was just cool, but apparently that technology was special order or something so we had to settle for a small square that was made to stick to the underside of the table. It was expensive, but by that point we'd spent an hour and a half goofing around in the store so I figured the fun we'd had was worth it.

Jasper turned to the recording equipment and booted up his laptop, adjusting some settings before setting it down. "Okay, I think we're ready," he said.

I checked the time – 11:45 A.M. Perfect. Right on cue, Emmett's voice came through the computer's tiny speaker. "Check, check… 1 – 2 – 3… can you hear me? Jasper Whitlock is a pretty pretty princess, and Edward smells like pancake syrup… "

Loud and clear - I texted Emmett, and we heard a beep as the text went through.

"All right, I'm coming out…" he said.

Don't forget to set the tape recorder – I texted again.

"Shit, that's right. Hold on…" We heard some fumbling around, and then the noise stopped. "Okay, it's all set. You can still hear me, right? No interference?"

Yes. Get your ass out here.

"All right, here I come. I'm going to go give James the thumbs up, and then I'll use the secret knock."

We heard the door shut, and a minute later there were three quick knocks on the side door of the van. I quickly opened it and Emmett heaved himself inside. "You didn't wait for me to do the rest of my knock." He pouted. "How did you know it was me?"

"Wild guess," I said dryly.

The three of us got situated, Jasper remaining in charge of the computer, and then there was nothing to do but wait.

Emmett started fidgeting almost immediately. "We should have brought some pillows or something. My ass is going to be asleep in no time."

I reached up and grabbed the cooler from the passenger seat, careful to stay out of the sightline of the windows. "Here, let's have some lunch," I said, dividing up sandwiches and chips.

We ate and joked around stiffly as we waited, and I checked my watch every sixty seconds or so. Finally, just after noon, we all jumped as Jasper's laptop blared the slight creaking sound of the trailer door opening.

"Okay, baby, here's your Big Mac combo meal… and I'm snitching a few fries." Victoria giggled, and even hearing her voice through the tiny computer speakers made me bristle with rage.

"Thanks, honey," James said. "No wait! You… uh, you sit over here, next to the drafting table. The uh… the air conditioner is blowing here, and I don't want you to catch a cold." He sounded awkward, in desperate need of a pinch of Emmett's acting talent, but I still hoped that he could pull it off.

"So, what was so important that I had to drag my ass down here?" she asked.

James chuckled nervously. "Nothing, sweetheart. Like I said on the phone, I just missed you is all."

Victoria was silent for a moment. "Oooookay," she said, and I could almost hear her eyes rolling through the computer. "You know how much I hate putting on this get-up, though."

"I know," he answered. We heard wrappers rustling and the quiet sounds of biting and chewing, before James got the courage to speak up again. "I actually… that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"What is?"

"Well… this plan of yours. You know, to scam Carlisle's son out of his money," James said, like it was perfectly natural lunch conversation.

"What?" she screeched. "First of all, it's not his money. If that damn idiot Carlisle hadn't croaked at the most inconvenient fucking time, we would have gotten married. Then, when I slipped him some poison, it would have been my money. Ugh!" She made a frustrated sound. "Stupid guy couldn't wait a few months to die."

My jaw dropped. Was she really confessing that she'd planned to kill my father? I'd never gotten along with her, but I never suspected she was capable of murder. "Holy fuck," I whispered, and Emmett and Jasper looked at me with stunned sympathy.

Victoria was still talking, however, and I forced my brain to focus back on what she was saying.

"…you know that, James, I've told you over and over again," she complained.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, honey," he said soothingly.

"It just upsets me. After all the thought and work I put into the plan, and then he had to go and die right in the middle of it… this fake baby thing is just a poor substitute, really. It's frustrating, but unless I want to start all over…"

James cleared his throat. "Tell me the plan again? I still… I don't understand how this is going to get you the money."

Victoria let out a disgusted sigh. "Honestly, James. This is why I'm the brains of our little duo, since you just can't seem to figure anything out. Step one – I told Edward Cullen that I'm pregnant with his father's baby. Step two – I sue him for half of the estate, on the baby's behalf. Step three – I get the money, then claim that I lost the baby. He won't be able to get the money back without a big court battle, and he'd have to convince a judge to take it away from me, the grieving fiancé who has just lost her unborn child? Possession is nine-tenths of the law, so once I have the money, it's mine for good."

I breathed a sigh of relief that we had the confession, although I found I was gripping the door of the van tightly to keep myself from running in there and ripping her head off. Jasper was focusing on the audio controls, but Emmett was eyeing me warily. "You okay, buddy?" he asked softly, and I nodded once with my jaw clenched tight.

"But isn't this illegal, what you're doing? I mean, you're wearing a fake belly, and lying, and making fake ultrasound pictures…" James trailed off, and we heard a chair scrape against the floor.

"Darling," Victoria said, her voice smooth as silk, "All I'm doing is getting the money that should have been mine to begin with. Don't worry about any of that. I'm doing this for us, so you can start your bloodhound breeding business like you always wanted. You just don't think about it, and before you know it, this will all be over."

"Okay, Victoria," he said glumly. "If that's what you think is best."

She laughed. "We're better off if I do the thinking, and that's what I think." The chair creaked again, like she sat back down. "He'd better cave soon, though. These damn fake bellies are so uncomfortable. I don't think I ever want to be pregnant with a real baby!" She giggled again, and I wanted to throw up the sandwich I'd just eaten.

James was clearly anxious to change the subject and asked a question about his bowling league tournament the following weekend. I just sat there stunned. Victoria was not only an extortionist, it seemed she would have been a murderer.

"E… man, I…" Emmett seemed as lost for words as I was. "I'm sorry."

Closing my eyes, I focused on breathing for a few moments. "Thanks, Emmett. We've got the tape, at least. Right?"

Jasper took his ear away from a pair of headphones and nodded emphatically. "Yes, I'm continuing to record just in case they say something else, but I just started listening to the playback from the beginning and it sounds like we've got it all."

"Well, shit," I cursed, wavering between relief, confusion, and shock. "What the fuck do we do now?"

After a few moments of staring blankly and listening to James and Victoria chatting about who was the weak link on his bowling team, I realized that we couldn't make any decisions yet. As soon as the psychotic lovebirds in the construction trailer finished their lunch and Victoria left, we emerged from the van and stretched our sore muscles.

"I guess I'll go check in with James, make sure he got the tape," Emmett said, rubbing his shoulder.

"Em… seriously. Thank you. I couldn't have done this without Rose's plan, and your excellent orchestration to pull it all off." I was overcome with gratitude for my friends, and immediately started brainstorming something nice I could do for Emmett and Rose.

Emmett pulled me into a quick, manly hug, complete with back-slapping. "Anytime, E, I mean it," he said as he released me and walked away.

Jasper and I walked quietly to the front of the van and got in, me in the driver's seat. We drove back to the house in silence. Once we'd reached the safety of the kitchen, Jasper unloaded his equipment and began to play back the recording to be sure we had it all.

I tried to stay and listen, but when Victoria's voice came over the speakers it was too much. "I'm sorry, Jazz. I just can't… can you…"

"Go, I've got this," he said, plugging in his headphones and waving me towards the other room. I collapsed into the nearest chair, reclined, and closed my eyes, trying to process the last hour in my head. Try as I might, I couldn't forget Victoria's voice echoing snidely as she complained that she hadn't been able to kill my father like she planned. I rubbed my temples and breathed deeply until my mind finally went blank, but was brought back to reality when Jasper came in the room and cleared his throat.

"So, it's all there. Now you… we… just have to decide what to do with it," he said awkwardly.

I sighed in response.

"Look, it's been a tough day. Want to blow some shit up?" he asked, holding up a video game controller.

"That sounds perfect," I said, holding my hands up to catch his toss.

We blasted zombies for hours, not speaking besides the occasional warning of an impending undead attack, and I started to feel more normal again. When the doorbell rang, I was shocked to discover it was almost evening.

Jasper went to answer, and soon a beautiful voice filtered into the room. "I hope this is okay…" I overheard Bella say.

My roommate snorted. "Are you kidding? He'll be thrilled!"

I threw down the controller and went into the kitchen to investigate. Bella was there, holding a wrapped pan of food that looked heavy and smelled delicious. "Hi, Edward," she said shyly as she put the pan down on the stove. "We um… we brought you dinner."

Alice followed and set down another bag of food, but I hardly noticed her. I strode into the kitchen and engulfed my girl in my arms. She returned my embrace enthusiastically, stroking my hair with one hand as she held me close. I buried my nose in her messy ponytail and discovered that Bella's scent calmed me even faster than killing fake zombies.

Thankfully, she let me hold her as long as I needed to, but when my arms finally loosened I didn't let her go completely. Still engulfed in my arms, she turned to face Alice and Jasper, who were smiling at us in wonder.

I settled my arms around her waist and snuggled her back against my chest, discovering that this was the perfect position to lean down and press a soft kiss to her neck. She blushed but didn't pull away, and I whispered in her ear. "Screw them. After all the PDA you and I put up with? We owe them some payback, baby."

She giggled and obligingly offered her lips for a kiss, but wouldn't let me make it too explicit. She gave my arms one last caress before slipping away to the oven to mess around with the food. I leaned back on the counter in satisfaction, loving that she'd come here now when I so needed support.

Jasper broke into my reverie. "Emmett's been texting me – should I tell him to grab Rose and come over?"

I scrubbed my hand across my face. "Yeah, sure. Is that okay, Bella?"

She looked at me in surprise. "Of course it's fine with me. It's all about what you need tonight... baby," she said, flushing a bit at the pet name. I loved it.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, stalking over to where she was tossing a salad. "I'll remember that." I stole another kiss, managing to prolong this one a little more.

Alice took it upon herself to set up a buffet on the countertop, with Bella's lasagna at center stage. Jasper picked out a bottle of wine and got out our nicest disposable plastic cups. Since we didn't really have a dining table, we decided to eat in the living room where there were several mismatched couches from our old apartment.

Emmett barged in the door much quieter than usual, with Rose by his side. "How's it going, guys?" he asked politely. "Bella, Alice, so lovely to see you again. My, this smells wonderful."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Emmett," I said, laughing. "Please don't be weird about this. I'm fine."

He looked at me curiously. "Really? I mean, I'm glad, but that was some serious shit that went down today."

Alice jumped in. "What happened? Jazz texted me that it was bad, but Bella and I don't really know."

Bella started dishing out pieces of lasagna. "Let's all get fed first, and then we'll hear the whole story. Sound good?"

I wrapped my arm around her waist and kissed the top of her head as Emmett lead the way to the food. Once everyone had a heaping plateful and we were settled as couples on the couches, I knew I was up.

"I guess… first I want to say thanks to all of you guys for your support. It really means a lot," I said, feeling foolish like I was making a speech or something. "Today, we planned to record Victoria confessing that she was trying to extort money from me with a fake pregnancy."

Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie nodded, and Bella and Alice looked surprised but motioned for me to keep going.

"Anyway, it turned out that she planned to… she…" I rubbed my forehead, debating how to continue, and I felt Bella's small hand sneak into my other one. I squeezed her fingers and sighed. "Victoria was going to kill my dad after they got married, to get his money. And we have her saying this on tape."

The girls gasped in shock. "Oh my God, Edward," Bella breathed, rubbing my hand with hers.

I took a deep breath and continued. "It's completely fucked up, and I feel a little better now that we have everything on tape. But it's still messing with my head, you know? If she had just confessed to the fake pregnancy like I planned, I was going to confront her with it and get her off my back, but nothing more. Now…" I squeezed Bella's hand again for support. "Really, I just wanted her out of my life for good, as quickly as possible. But now that I know this, I feel like I have to do something with it. If I let her go, and she does this to someone else? I'd just lose it."

Ever the practical one, Rose cleared her throat. "So what are our options?"

I shook my head. "I've been thinking about it, and I just don't know. I could give the tape to the police, but they'd ask questions about how we made it, and it might not even be admissible as evidence in a criminal trial."

"Do you think James would testify?" Jasper asked Emmett.

"I'd like to think so, but I just don't know him very well. He's willing to keep quiet about his girlfriend's murder plot, so he's obviously got some questionable morals." Emmett shrugged. "He seemed pretty freaked out about the jail time, though. Maybe if we could tip off the police somehow, he'd give up his copy of the tape?"

I nodded. "That's a good idea, actually. It might be more valid coming from him." I thought for a moment. "I wish I knew someone in the police department, an investigator or something. If we could talk to someone and tip them off, maybe they could bring James in and he'd give up Victoria's plan."

"I could maybe help with that," Bella suggested softly. "My dad is the chief of police in our little town, but he goes to conferences and stuff with police from all over the state. I could see if he knows anyone in Seattle that he trusts."

I couldn't help it, I leaned over and kissed her. "Thanks, baby. That would be amazing."

Rose and Alice wore matching grins. "Okay, I know we're here to destroy that evil bitch, but can I just interrupt the ugly for a minute? I'm so happy for you!" Rose gushed, and Bella jumped up to give her a hug. "So are you like, together, together?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

Bella and I looked at each other, the answer shining brightly in both our eyes. "Yes?" I answered tentatively.

"Yes," she echoed with a smile.

I pulled her to snuggle next to me on the couch as our friends exclaimed happily around us, and in spite of the absolutely shitty day I'd had, nothing had ever felt so right.

I know this might be a question - James does not know what Edward looks like. Victoria has intentionally kept her boyfriend away from the Cullen men for obvious reasons.

Thanks for reading! What did you think of Victoria's confession? I'd love to hear from you, in a review or on twitter - mamabean30.