14. Love is not optional

Evening in December was freezing. Lucius stepped away from the crowd to have some fresh air on the balcony. A woman in white stood there. He walked over and put his hand on her waist.

"This feels unreal." Narcissa murmured. She stared at somewhere far away under the night sky. Lucius grabbed the glass in her hand and put it away,

"You drank too much."

"Exactly." She signed dreamily. He chuckled. He understood her sorry and insecurity. Everything felt excellent right now. In other words, one may say, it's 'too good to be true'. To be honest, he had also doubted himself, that whether this was juts a dream and he could wake up at any moment. But he knew, he was not dreaming and it was true. He walked closer to her and embraced her from the behind. His left cheek touched her sot hair. He murmured beside her ear,

"You are cold."

She replied absent-mindedly,

"Mm, not any more."

He smiled and embraced her tighter.

It had been 37 days since he got back his memory. He had a fight with his mother and apperate directly to St. Mungo's. Narcissa was still on her shift. He rushed into the ward but could not say anything. His palm was sweating, his tongue stiff. He almost could not breath. He must had been horrible for she asked him worriedly if he was fine. He looked at her blankly as if he could not understand what she was talking about. Just when she wanted to ask him again, he snapped back to reality and declared firmly,

"You have to marry me."

He chuckled. Narcissa turned back and looked at him,

"What are you laughing at?"

He put his lower jaw on the crown of her head then breathed deeply,

"I was just thinking how I must have sounded when I find you that day."

Narcissa giggled,

"Why, you sounded just like you."

He raised his eyebrows at the obvious smirk on her face. He loved when she was like this, happy and naughty, like every teenage girl, his girl.

"Well, I take it you also enjoyed it for if not we won't even be here."

It was quiet on the balcony. They could hear the music from inside the hall. People were dancing and drinking. They came to the celebration of the engagement party of Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black.

"If you ask me two months ago, I couldn't even imagine being engaged."

"Can't say I don't like surprise."

He covered his hand over hers. His thumb stroked the back of her hand. Her hands were so small. He felt himself being protective even towards her hands. He wanted to hold her hands all the time. Finger twisted, like how they would always be in each other's lives ever since. He wanted every one to know that she's with him. She was his and of course he was hers.

"I think mother had left. Do you think—"

"She's fine. She may just be tried." He knew she was not talking about her own mother. Last time he checked, Mrs. Black was talking happily with some other ladies. It was his mother who had left. "Mother understands. She was just being stubborn."

He still remembered the first few days. He wanted to marry Narcissa while his mother wanted to keep him as her own. He knew she actually understood that he wanted to be with the one he loved, like how she had wanted. But she was more afraid of being abandoned and being left alone, again like how she had been treated. He took Narcissa home for tea three days later and begged his mother to give them a chance. The two women he loved talked for three hours in his family house. He knew she would never admit loud but when he talked with his mother again about Narcissa, she didn't argue against, instead, she almost gave him her silent consent about their next movements. Lucius closed his eyes, feeling content with what he had now. Narcissa squirmed a bit then turned to face him.

"I always want to ask, why do you like me?"

He opened his eyes and looked into hers. She has the most beautiful eyes in the world.

"First, I don't like you, I love you." he paused, there are much more things that he wants to tell her, so much emotions which he wanted to express, but he could not. He opened his mouth but found himself could not say those words aloud. He wanted to tell her when he thinks of her name, he feels his heart light, like it has wings and can fly in the sky. He wants to smile; he wants to laugh. He wants to hold her hand and does whatever. It doesn't matter. He wants to be with her. Every time he thinks of her he couldn't think of anything else. Sadness, worries, happiness are all so far away. The only thing that matters is her. But, he couldn't summaries those to some exact reasons, like maybe because she is beautiful, or she is smart, or is a pureblood. She is. He couldn't deny all those qualities. But none of those are the reason he loves her. In the end, he found that the thing he could say was "I don't know."

He knew 'I don't know is not a standard answer and had expected she would not be satisfied but instead she buried her face in his chest. He could feel the smiling curve of her lips. She murmured, right above his heart,

"I love you too."

If someone ever find Lucius Malfoy's diary, he would find out that only sentence he wrote for his engagement party was that, 'love is not optional'.

—End

A/N: So... here it is! I had thought a lot about what could happen after Lucius gets his memory back but didn't feel like those ;(

This story was inspired by a sentence I saw that says, if someone asks me why I love him, I think I can only say that, it is because of him, and because of me. And I added one more to say that love is not optional, that you don't really choose yourself but you fell for it. (Sounds really girlish lol) Anyway, here is my first story and tell me what you think if you would like! Anything is welcome!