Chapter 14

C.C. awoke the following morning feeling slightly better than he did the day before. She remembered little of what had happened, and her slow waking mind was demanding for a cup of tea. After taking a quick glance at the clock, C.C. carefully stretched in bed – trying not to wake her slumbering husband – and then took out of her body the many cables that surrounded it. She didn't want oxygen or monitoring, she just needed to be alone for five minutes.

The duchess carefully tiptoed out of her bedroom and made her way to the kitchen, where she prepared herself a cup of tea and sat down on the breakfast table. The short trip between her room and the kitchen had exhausted her, and hadn't she been so tired, she would have heard Niles' footsteps entering the kitchen.

"Babcock, what are you doing out of bed?!"

It was lucky she'd placed her cup on the table, otherwise the entire drink would have flown out of her hand where she jumped so hard in surprise. She used one hand to cover her heart in relief as her mind began to wake more, and it registered that it was only the butler who had addressed her, not some other terror that just so happened to know his nickname for her.

"Don't scare me like that!" she said, her breathing starting to slow again after her initial shock.

"Why not? You're scaring me by being sat down here instead of being upstairs in bed, where you're supposed to be!" Niles reproached. He came forward, pointing towards the stairs. "What would have happened, if you'd had another...episode, and fallen on those stairs? No one would have been around to help! I'm the only one in the house awake at this time!"

C.C. wanted to argue that if he kept raising his voice more, they wouldn't be the only two in the house who were awake, it would be everybody. But it was early, and she didn't want to rile herself up more. She'd been angry the night before, she knew that much, and rising to his bait would only aggravate her situation more. And he had a point – her craving for a hot drink and some quiet time had simply overridden any other thought.

So instead, she sighed, "I just wanted some tea, and a little peace. But you're right. I should have called you and asked for help. I'm sorry, okay?"

The butler seemed to soften at this, "Alright. Having a little walk around can't really hurt much. But I must insist that you allow me to help you back to bed as soon as possible – you could trip on the stairs by yourself, and I'm almost certain the doctor would take umbrage at you pulling out the cables from all those machines."

"Well, probably, but the doctor isn't going to find out, is he?" she batted her eyelashes at him.

Not that he would admit it, but the scene reminded him of a time many years ago when she had asked for 'something harder' while batting her eyes at him, and his retort back then had been 'Not for you'.

"Alright, I won't tell if you promise to get in bed now and actually stay in there."

The duchess was about to try and argue back, but she knew better than that. She knew he was right, and the best thing she could do was rest until she was better.

"Alright," she sighed, fruitlessly trying to get out of the chair by herself. Niles had to suppress a chuckle; C.C. Babcock, the usually graceful and powerful duchess, was so pregnant she couldn't even get up of a bloody chair by herself.

"Need some help?" he asked, not bothering to hide his amusement.

"You know I do, Hazel, so sto-" C.C.'s eyes widened for a moment, causing Niles to immediately rush to her side in fear she was about to suffer from another convulsion.

But it was far from that, actually... The woman was not about to suffer from a seizure, but part of her wished she was. The memories from last night her drowsy mind had been keeping from her had finally resurfaced, and she remembered everything...

Absolutely everything.

She remembered Niles and Kathleen, Niles being worried for her... and she remembered when she cruelly rubbed her husband in Niles' face. Granted, she had been as high as a kite when her befuddled mind had acted on impulse, but there was no excuse that could justify her treatment of him. He was being a wonderful friend, and how had she repaid him? By acting like a jealous five year old.

"Babcock, are you alright?" his worried voice brought her back to reality. "Wait here, I am going to call the doctor."

"No, Niles, wait!" she said, grasping his sleeve and pulling him back to her. "I... I am ok... at least physically speaking."

She let go of him, and let her arm fall back to her side. She stopped trying to get out of her seat, too. There must have been some kind of mournful expression on her face – it would reflect how she felt inside, after all – because the butler appeared concerned, and he took the seat beside her.

"If you feel alright physically, then what's bothering you?" he asked, his voice now a lot more gentle than previously. He probably felt bad about how he'd demanded to know what she was doing up earlier, but she wasn't going to bring that up. The fact that he'd stopped now was enough.

It was her turn to try and apologise, not his.

"Well...I've started to remember things," she began. "From last night."

Niles' eyebrows raised. He obviously knew what she was going to talk about.

"Yes..." his voice was soft, and was clearly meant to encourage her to keep going. They'd need to clear the air over this eventually, so they might as well do it now. "And so…?

"I...I wasn't thinking straight, when I...when I flaunted my marriage in your face," she managed to say at last. It had been hard for her to get the words out, but once they came, they wouldn't stop. "I was out of my mind on that medication, and I should never have been so angry with you for living your own life and going out with..."

She put her head in her hand, sighing. She couldn't even bring herself to say the other woman's name.

C.C. didn't dare to look at him, she was far too ashamed of herself to do so. Well, she was also scared, too; yes, she had been heavily drugged, but the fact she was bothered by Niles' new love life had nothing to do with drugs. The duchess was starting to realise, much to her horror, the feelings of loss she had experienced back when she had just moved to Britain had to do with the fact she missed the butler, but not as a friend, he was so much more...

But what could they do now? She was married, pregnant, had a baby girl and – even if she did love Niles – she loved her husband very much. Andrew was her companion, the father of her kids and the man to whom she had promised fidelity and love him until death separated them.

"I am truly sorry, Niles, I... I was horrible and I hope-"

Niles had to fight the urge to laugh and cry. She had thought he was dating Kathleen! And her jealousy had made her act the way she did… he tried not to think too much about his suspicions being proven correct – C.C. was, indeed, jealous, and both of them knew that there could be no jealousy between them, even if the fact that they hadn't exactly moved on became clearer with each passing day.

She was pregnant and had a small child… those feelings simply had no place. However, that didn't mean he could reassure her and clear up this mess they had created due to a misunderstanding.

"Babcock, shut up," he cut her off and enveloped her in a hug. They both knew, but there was no sense in giving up on their friendship. "It's forgiven and forgotten. And just for you to know, I am not going out with her."

"Really?" her eyes shone as a sense of peace washed over her. "I mean, I just thou-" C.C. trailed off, a goofy smile playing across her lips. The baby had just kicked, making his presence known to both friends.

Niles jolted slightly, having partially felt the sensation. He pulled away and looked at his friend.

"What was that?" he asked. The duchess chuckled in reply.

"Think about it, Hazel," she glanced down towards her stomach briefly, hoping he'd understand the implication. "There are three people in the room, after all. One of them just took his time making himself known, that's all."

Niles began to beam, and he looked down to where she had been looking. His friend's baby was alright, despite all the drama, and suddenly that became the only thing that mattered.

He had forgiven her for what had happened the day before. He had entirely meant what he'd said, and she knew it. There was nothing left to be said, and he'd no doubt dismiss it if she tried to bring it up again because it didn't matter to him.

She was still here, and so was the baby. That was all he cared about.

Hesitantly, he reached out a hand, before pulling it back and looking up at her.

"May I...?" he nodded towards her stomach.

C.C. smiled, and straightened her back as much as she could to allow him to touch where the baby had kicked, "Of course."

Niles grinned, and gingerly placed his hand on her belly, waiting expectantly for the little prince to move again.

"He has been lazing around, really, but I can't blame him after everything he's gone through," the duchess said, guiding his hand to the spot her child was kicking. She had to stifle a chuckle when she saw the wondered expression on Niles' face. The butler looked like a child who was just given a new puppy to play with – happiness was written in his eyes, and he tentatively knelt down before her and placed a second hand on her belly.

"He certainly isn't now," Niles chuckled. "I think it's safe to say the little kiddo inside you will be a football player."

"Yeah... I have to agree with you on that one, Hazel. Elizabeth wasn't nearly as active as him."

They fell into a comfortable silence as both felt her child move. To Niles the experience was particularly pleasant; there was something inexplicably beautiful about feeling the life she was carrying, something that made him feel special and thankful for her letting him share such a private thing with him.

He looked up at her, and only then did he notice she had closed her eyes and was using one of her hand to steady herself by clutching the edge of the table.

"Are you alright, Babcock? Feeling dizzy?" he asked as he rose to his feet. He supported her weight by lacing an arm around her waist.

"I'm fine, just a little worn out. Could you help me to the sofa? I truly don't want to go to my bed just yet," the duchess wheezed, accepting his help. But the butler didn't turn for the living room, but for her room. "Niles, please!"

"Babcock, you need to be monitored. The doctor said that-"

"Please, just for a little while?" C.C. pleaded, looking up at him. Her eyes told him she truly needed to get out, to change her surroundings... C.C. was a woman of action, she needed to be up and about, so – considering she was being confined to a bed – it was no wonder why she was restless.

"Alright, but just until the rest of the house has awoken, then you go back to bed," he said as he turned for the door that separated the kitchen from the living room.

Just after Niles had helped the duchess settle down on the sofa, the baby decided to give another strong kick. It was so strong that the butler was able to see the outline of the baby's foot.

He smiled to himself at the sight of the little prince clearly stretching out. There was something strange about it, but he couldn't wait to meet the new little one. Having Elizabeth in his life had been a joy, especially after feeling like perhaps C.C.'s new life as a Royal would mean he'd be shut out by her forever. He hoped it would be the same with her son, even if he wasn't named the child's godfather. The duke and duchess hadn't discussed it with him at all, if they even knew themselves who would be chosen. The butler's best guess was that C.C. would pick Maxwell, though, seeing as he had been picked first.

He must have trailed off and was staring, because the next thing he registered was the sound of fingers being clicked.

"Hello? Earth to Niles?" C.C. asked, a hint of annoyance as well as amusement present in her tone. "Are you there, Niles?"

Shaking himself out of it, he directed his gaze at her.

"Oh, yes, sorry," he replied, smiling. "My mind was wandering."

The duchess looked him up and down, the edges of a smirk forming on her face as she pointed a finger up and down his form, "It's not the only part of you that could do with a little wandering."

Niles' expression became unimpressed.

"Really, Babcock? Fat jokes, in your current condition? Or should I say size?"

"Shut up, Benson," C.C. nudged him in the side. "I'll get my body back as soon as I push this tyke out of my womb. You, on the other hand, if you don't lay down the pâté, will be the size of a jumbo blimp soon enough."

Niles chuckled as he rose to his feet. She was right, he remembered that it hadn't taken her long to recover her figure after Elizabeth had been born, and he was sure the same would happen after her son had been born. "We shall see, Your Hugeness. Wait here, I'll go get us some breakfast."

"Oh, that sounds good! Could you make me some waffles?" C.C. asked, stretching her body on the sofa now that Niles was gone from it. "I've craved them for a while now!"

"Not a chance, Mrs. High-Blood-pressure, your doctor was very insistent about you following a healthy diet, and that's what you'll do! From now on, you'll have fruit and cereals for breakfast."

Not giving her time to argue (although he did hear her groan in protest) the butler turned on his heels and strutted into the kitchen, where he began preparing their meal. As he did so, his mind wandered; C.C. was due in barely three months and a half, less if the prediction of a premature birth happened... It was a short time, that was true, but to him it felt like an eternity. He needed to take care of her, to help her enjoy the last months of her pregnancy, even if it meant spending all his afternoons entertaining her.

It momentarily hit him just how domestic their morning was being, and a pang of sadness rippled across his body. Back when C.C. was still a producer he had pictured the many lazy mornings they could have spent together as he prepared her breakfast. He had imagined preparing the most delicious treats for her to enjoy while pregnant with their child; he would have never imagined he'd be doing so while she was awaiting for another man's kid.

But he couldn't allow himself to dwell in those fantasies... he was sick of making himself miserable and, most importantly, there was no sense in ruining their morning he was sharing with her.

God know they had already had enough disgusts as it was.

After lading a tray with the freshly made breakfast – a bowl of fruit, orange juice, coffee and scrambled eggs – he returned to the living room, where he found his friend spread over the sofa, absentmindedly rubbing her belly.

"Finally! By the time you took I thought I'd have already given birth before I had my breakfast," she joked as she struggled to sit back up.

"Oh shut up, it only took me twenty minutes," he said as he handed her the bowl of fruit. She noticed he had only included her favourite ones: watermelon, kiwi and strawberries. It was impressive, they had been separated for three years, yet he still remembered each and every one of her favourite foods. The duchess chose not to mention it, of course, it would only make things uncomfortable.

That seemed to be a recurring thought lately...

He began to cast glances at her every once in a while, and C.C. noticed he seemed... worried?

"What's the matter?" she asked, lowering her bowl on the coffee table in front of her.

He seemed adamant to speak at first, but after squeezing his hand encouragingly he finally caved in. "Did it hurt? Giving birth, I mean."

C.C.'s eyes gave away her surprise at the unexpected question, but soon a strange tenderness replaced it. "Yes, quite a lot... but it was worth it. Try to imagine your insides being squeezed while you are pushing a six pound human through an unnaturally small hole... That's how it feels. Of course, once you hold them in your arms the pain fades away."

"Oh," Niles returned to looking at his breakfast. He supposed he should have guessed that the answer would have been "yes", but he was wondering about the pain fading when the mother held her child in her arms.

Was there such love there, such tenderness and happiness in that moment, that the pain actually went? Or did it just not matter?

He had never experienced anything like it, and he doubted he ever would, either. But it seemed to make his friend happy, and he was content with that, as well as with her answer.

"Why do you ask?" the duchess continued.

He looked at her, blinking. He knew why he'd asked; he was concerned for her wellbeing. The thought of her going through a tremendous amount of effort and pain was making him worried. But she seemed to accept it, and thought it all worth the agony she had to go through in order to bring a child into the world. Elizabeth had been worth it, and so would this new baby...

Of course, he couldn't voice his concerns to her. It wouldn't be fair. Not when she was ready for what was to happen.

Instead, he shrugged, "Curiosity, I suppose. I mean, it's not like I'm going to get the chance to experience anything like this."

"You never know... although I love to say otherwise, you are not ancient yet! You might still get the chance to have a child. I think you'd make a good father."

Her answer surprised the butler. They had never addressed the subject of him having children, but her believing he would be a good father meant the world to him. There was a time when he hoped they'd share the experience of parenthood together, but although that hadn't happened, the thought of them sharing it in a non-romantic way was strangely uplifting.

"Thank you... I guess... I think you are a good mother, too, even if you are a soulless creature of the darkness."

Yeah, a zinger was needed at that moment... Things were getting overly sentimental and that was unlike them.

Even if they had lost many other things, they could still have this… their zingers…

And their friendship, too.

AN: There you go! Three new chapters :) We truly appreciate reviews! Thank you for your support.

H&L