Nobody said it was easy - Coldplay

"Bella?"

I opened my eyes to intense morning sunlight. I hissed and threw the covers over my head.

"Isabella Swan! Get up and go to school. Your father's waiting to drive you!"

School? My eyes opened with a start.

"Mom?"

"Up!" She shouted again, pulling the beddings off me. "Shower, dress, and school."

She glared meaningfully at me before waddling out. It's hard to walk with dignity when you look like you've swallowed a watermelon.

I took the ordered shower in a daze, the water scalding hot enough to at least wake me up the rest of the way. Another bellow of my name downstairs made me dress quickly—one more call and Charlie himself would come up to get me. I definitely would NOT want him in my room. He's ruined it enough with the purple bedspread.

Renee handed me my lunch and a separate packed breakfast to eat on the road.

"Bye, Mom," I said, kissing her cheek.

""Have a nice day, sweetie."

I kissed her belly for good luck, too.

Charlie honked his horn and I groaned, recognizing the sound.

"Dad!" I whined as I got in. "Not the police car again! Everybody already treats me like a ghost."

He only lifted his eyebrows at me over his morning paper. "Ready, scout?"

We ate in companionable silence as he drove: a fiber-enriched bagel for Charlie and whole-wheat French toast for me without the syrup. Renee had decreed months ago that everyone will eat healthy as long as she is on her enforced pregnancy diet.

I tried to remember last night's dreams. They were chaotic and unsettling, as dreams sometimes are. And as dreams go, they slipped away the more I tried to keep them with me.

"Something wrong, kid?"

He's perceptive today.

"I just had a weird dream, dad. It was crazy."

"What was it about?"

I hesitated before taking another bite of my toast. It was cold and tough.

"You died. And mom married someone else."

"That does sound bad," he agreed. "Well, if it will take your mind off things, Dr Cullen wanted me to tell you that he's accepting student interns for the hospital."

The name was vaguely familiar. "Who?"

"Are you serious?" He risked a sidelong glance while he maneuvered the steering wheel. "You were just at their house the other day."

"I was?"

"Yes. Their brown-haired son wanted to ask you out to the prom, too."

"Who?"

"Yep. Too bad I can't be there, anymore, kid."

Something in his tone scared me.

"Dad, what are you saying?"

He was looking at me with sorrow. We were on the wrong lane going to the school. A big truck was about to collide with us, the driver furiously honking his horn. I grabbed his arm and shook it, my other hand on the dashboard to steady myself for the impact.

"Dad, eyes on the road!"

"You take care, alright, Bella?"

"Dad! Stop the car!"

"You take care for me."

"Dad!" I screamed.

I was breathing hard, my heart pounding a punishing tattoo. Cold sweat had broken all over my face. I was in bed again. Dream. Was that a dream? Why did it feel so real? Had I screamed out loud? Someone tried to take my hand. I snatched it back. Something was attached to my left arm. Alarmed, I frantically tried to tug it off me. More hands stopped me.

"We've put you on an IV drip to replace the nutrients you've lost," a voice explained.

"Bella," whispered another voice. "We're here, it's okay."

"No, it's not. Charlie's gone. Charlie's gone. Oh God, he's gone and I'm here doing nothing."

"Hush." Edward leaned close, his palms keeping my face steady. "I'm here. We're here for you."

My eyes almost crossed at the beautiful face so close to mine. I tried to move away again, but I was effectively immobilized. Another body was pinning me to the bed.

"Calm down, Bella," Alice grunted. Her whole body weight was on me. She was as heavy as a trucker.

"We're going to give you another shot of Valium."

I tensed for the pinprick that never came. Carlisle had added the drug to the current cocktail I'm on, and the effect was instantaneous: I deflated like a balloon. What do I have against three vampires holding me steady? Vampires! This still feels like a joke. Carlisle adjusted the drip line; blood had crept up the tube while I struggled. It was mesmerizing to see the blood get coaxed back to my body. The hands holding me eventually let go but they did it in degrees, as if I would bolt at any moment.

This is why I never liked to sleep: Bad things always happen when I wake up.

"How long before we find out what's wrong, Carlisle?" Alice was distraught.

"If we follow through with tonight, I can have her confined in the hospital with all the other equipment I need."

"Can we move her, though?"

One of the most annoying things in life is to be openly discussed as if you're not there. I wanted to make a snarky comment, but I was still too distracted by the alternating hot and cold sensations in my chest. Edward was sitting beside me, on the bed. There was a tiny moment of shock when I realized who probably tried to hold my hands earlier. I stared up at him with my drug-addled eyes—dammit. He's still beautiful.

And he said he loved me.

What did I do to have these golden eyes trained on me as if I was the only girl in the world?

Loving him would be like loving a flame. Or be Icarus, foolish enough to fly to the sun.

Or be Psyche.

Psyche, whose only fault was to hold up a lamp to a sleeping Cupid to see who her mystery lover was, only for him to leave her. She had to go through all sorts of hell to get him back, thanks to the wrath of Venus. Psyche only wanted to know more about her husband, what was wrong about that? Was she just supposed to accept everything said to her? If so, she was punished for something completely natural—being human.

I meant to make Cupid and Psyche my main topic in my final paper.

How can wanting to know more about what you love be the cause of your anguish?

A soft brush of fingers on my face, smoothing my hair.

"Say something."

We were alone again. How did that happen? I blinked up at those eyes.

"You're too pretty for your own good," I slurred.

He laughed. It was a bit sad.

"You always say that. You never see what I see."

"I do. I see someone plain and ordinary. Like vanilla ice cream."

"There's nothing wrong with plain vanilla."

"'S not the point." No. I have to fight this. "Was I Psyche?"

"I'm sorry?" He asked politely.

"You never…never answered me. What you did."

His whole face changed. It was heartbreaking, like watching an angel cry. Grief and regret and pain flashed across those features in rapid succession. He climbed into bed with me, wrapping the thick blankets around me as much as he could. He also wrapped his arms around me, as if I'd be able to get up.

"I was stupid. That's all I can tell you for now," he whispered on top of my head. "And I will understand if you leave," he continued. "If you never want to see me again."

"Bloody idiot," I muttered against his shirt. "You keep saying that, but…"

But he's the one acting scared that I'd leave. Wasn't he?

"Tell me a story," I mumbled through his shirt.

"What would you want to hear about?"

"Anything. I'm a little bored." I felt his smile on the top of my head.

Something cold—a kiss?—touched my hair before I heard him sigh.

"There was once a lonely little boy who never had any friends."

"That sounds promising." I burrowed closer. His cashmere sweater tickled my cheek.

"He was afraid to touch anything because he was cursed, years ago, by an evil witch. Everything he loved, everything he touched, will die. He was so afraid to harm anyone else, he shut himself inside his room and never spoke to anyone else aside from his family, and even with them he spoke very little. He missed the sun most of all. Then one day, a butterfly came to him. She flew in from the window."

He could be reading the phone book and still mesmerize me with that melodic voice.

"She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She alighted on his palm, like a petal. But he tried to swat her away in the fear of killing her."

He tightened his hold on me for the tiniest fraction.

"She went away, and it felt like she took away all the light with her. Everything was in darkness. He then realized that the curse preyed on his fear. That the more he was afraid, the more powerful it becomes. He waited for the butterfly to return, but it was already winter. He feared that she had died. Or moved on to other, sunnier lands."

He was silent for a long time that I had to prompt him for the next part of the story.

"So…did he get to leave his room?"

Cool fingers stroked my cheek.

"She did return, in the spring. He woke one day with her perched on his finger, perfectly content. She then flew up, but not to leave him, not yet. She wanted him to step outside, in the sunlight. And he followed, with all his heart."

"That was lovely, thank you."

My eyes had started to close.

Coo lips touched my cheek.

"Do you have any questions?"

"Yes. Uhm. So I just climb on your back?"

Esme smiled, and there was a touch of mischief with the dimples. "Would you rather I carry you in my arms like a babe, then?"

"NO!" The denial came out too strongly. "Er. Sorry. No, thanks."

She touched my cheek briefly before conferring with Carlisle and the others.

I felt him behind me before I even turned to him. I grabbed at his hand without looking.

"I'm scared."

"Don't be," he whispered.

"Why can't I be with you?" I hate that I sounded like a whiny toddler.

"Because Victoria is expecting that."

Right. We'll be dividing into two groups: Alice, Edward, Jasper and Rosalie go together while I have Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett. Rosalie was wearing my jacket and I was also wearing her clothes. She smelled like roses and lilacs—it was a bit overwhelming. It made me really uncomfortable. The logic with the divide being that Victoria would naturally go for Edward first, allowing the rest of us to escape. I was to be taken straight to the Forks Hospital, where I would no doubt be subjected again to a whole battery of tests. It was daunting enough to make me not want to go anywhere.

I squeezed his hand. He squeezed back. Something soft brushed the back of my head.

"If something happens…"

"Hush. Nothing will happen."

"Will you promise to tell me everything?" I persisted.

A brief pause.

"Well?"

"Yes."

Satisfied, I let him go. I tried not to look as Rosalie climbed on his back. Something that felt like a snake reared its ugly head inside my chest. I concentrated on getting on Esme's back and trying to hold on without the awkwardness. She assured me that there was no breath left to squeeze out of her, so I need not worry about how tightly I should put my arms around her neck.

At an unspoken signal, everyone was off.

It was like riding a small rollercoaster, with more spins. The wind whipped my hair around as Esme ran through the trees. She hardly made a sound. Carlisle and Emmett were quiet blurs beside us. The journey went uphill, and I clenched my teeth to keep myself from screaming as Esme jumped off from trees to give us more of a push. I could have been a teddy bear wrapped around her neck for all the impact I had on her.

It felt like we were headed to the cliffs again.

A wolf howled from the distance.

The entire pack came just after sunset, transforming right before our eyes. They conferred with Carlisle at the front lawn. From the looks on their faces, they weren't really happy with the arrangement, either. I caught the words "pest control" and "human" with their disappointed glances in my direction. And not one of them looked older than thirty. I recognized Seth from the back of the group—at least he was nice enough to give me a smile as I waved hi.

We were to head to the cliffs, up the mountains, where it would be easier to fend off attacks. Because there was no such thing as a simple escape. We have to get away, but we have to kill the bastards first.

"We're getting close."

I almost didn't catch her whisper.

Edward and the others should be at near the highway now, where a nice, big bonfire would be waiting. I smelled the smoke even from here.

This was easy.

Too easy.

Do you know about people who are afraid of great luck, or too much happiness? They think that something bad will happen to offset all the goodness that happened in their life, like a horrible balancing of the Force in Star Wars. This is one of the moments that may make them say: "We told you so."

Emmett suddenly appeared beside us, but not before a dark blur slammed into him, making him bounce off Esme and myself. I was thrown quite some distance—I hit my back on a tree trunk before I slammed into the ground. There was pain, and there was this mind-numbing white wave that made all the pain in the world seem like kisses. Carlisle tried to reach me, but a snarling shadow appeared out of nowhere and started to fight with him.

We underestimated them.

They were never even distracted.

They all chased after us.

Then Esme started screaming, high, keening screams that scared me more than anything else.

I had a vague memory of Carlisle saying newborns can sometimes be nothing more than mindless, bloodthirsty beasts. These were worse. They looked like ghouls, their faces painted hideously red with the blood of their victims. There was not a shred of sanity in their red eyes. They fought like street bullies, striking whenever they could. Carlisle fought with bared teeth, roaring as he made contact. Esme fought like a banshee. Emmett was like a bull, using the brunt of his big body to throw off as many attackers as he could.

"You didn't think your stupid disguise could throw me off, did you?" Whispered another voice in my ear.

I've heard this voice before.

It was a few weeks after knowing about the missing months, after the pain, after the endless anguish.

I've started hoarding the pain medication in a bag I managed to get out of Renee's deliveries of her homemade cookies.

One night, after a particularly special session, I took out the bag and spread all the pills on my lap. They looked like really great candy. I took a handful and drowned them all at once with a big glass of water. Then I waited. It didn't take long before I started to feel dizzy, to feel my breath come out in rapid gasps.

This is it, I remember thinking before my eyelids started to close.

"Now, that would be very disappointing, Bella," said an angelic voice.

I narrowed my eyes. There was a woman-shaped blur standing beside the bed.

"Don't you want to get through this? To see who did this to you? I'd love to get a slap in, at least."

"Why?" I gasped.

"So you think you deserve all this, then? I should think you have more sense than to just escape."

She was right.

What was I doing?!

I clutched at my throat, coughing.

"That's better."

I heard the nurse alarm go off. I lost it as the doctors came in.

"Glad to see you listened to me, Bella." Victoria said, crouching over me. Her brilliant red hair teased my cheeks. "Wouldn't want to let you off easily."

"Get away from her!"

Edward.

I couldn't move.

Too much hurt, this time. I think something in my back got broken.

Edward, Alice and Rosalie had arrived with some wolves. They were trying to fight their way to me, but the newborns effectively blocked anyone from getting near us.

The world was filled with screams and growls.

"Want to know how I figured it out, Bella?" She winked. "The clothes almost threw us off. But I knew they would keep the strongest," she glanced at Emmett, "with you. Even if your scent changed, we knew we were on the right track."

She held my shoulders down, her knees digging on my sides. I screamed.

"Now." Her eyes glinted. "Now, I want pretty boy to see me eat you."

"Bella!"

I tried to turn my head. Edward was being held by three other vampires, his face and arms black with blood. The rest of the wolves were still fighting, but there were plenty of furry bodies laid on the forest floor.

God, I hope they didn't die.

She bent over me.

She smelled like autumn leaves.

The bite itself wasn't painful. It was after, when she raised her head. Then it was as if I had thrown acid on the side of my neck. I screamed again. I dug my nails on the soft earth, thrashed my legs. She was thrown off by a large, brown wolf—Jacob? —a few feet away. She was smiling as she spit out a patch of skin. My skin. The fight went on as I managed to turn on my stomach, gasping to ward off the intense agony.

What in the world did I do in my past life to deserve all this?

The screams changed quality.

Now everyone was in a panic.

The ground shook before it opened in several places.

The newborns were being picked off like flies. More screams as the familiar sound of rending metal filled the air. Vampires being torn limb to limb.

A head-blonde, young and surprised, rolled up to me.

Then, everything was quiet, and went dim.

I couldn't see.

Everything had gone dark.

Someone had lifted me.

"Edward," I whispered. I would recognize his scent anywhere. Fresh rain and hints of vanilla.

"Bella?"

He sounded afraid. Why was he afraid?

"Give the human to us, Cullen." A new voice, higher-pitched. A child's?

"We could have managed perfectly without your help, thank you."

"A few minutes more of your 'managing' would, no doubt, have decimated your coven as well." The voice was disdainful. "Give her to us, or you would have the same fate. Aro didn't want you harmed, but I could always say this was an accident."

"Edward," Alice said. She was somewhere on my right.

"I can't, Alice, not again," he said. He sounded like he was in tears.

Oh, no. Don't cry, angel.

"Listen to the seer, Cullen. I will not say this again."

Lips brushed my cheek.

"I'll come for you, Bella. I promise."

My first thought was that this was what the Salem witches must have endured when they were burned at the stake. The flames licking my feet, going up to my legs, my torso, my chest. The heat embraced me. It was as if I was being flayed from the inside.

How much pain can a human take before they go insane?

I had hallucinations.

Charlie was there, looking at me sadly.

"Dad?" I tried to call. "Help me, dad." I couldn't move my lips.

"I can't, kid. You're on your own."

The flames were now at all sides.

"Daddy, I can't," I sobbed.

"You can do this."

I gritted my teeth. I tried to curl my fingers into my palms, but they wouldn't obey me.

"She killed me, you know."

"Yes, Daddy, I know." I have not called him that since I was five.

"Before she killed me, I prayed that you'll never know how ugly it was. I prayed that you never recover. I prayed that you move on."

His eyes were very sad.

"You're more than all this, kid. You deserve better."

I was eight, and he was teaching me how to ride a bike. I had fallen over and had a gash on my knee.

"You can cry over that and feel sorry for yourself, or you can pick up the bike and get even with the ground."

No sir, no consolation of crying babies for the chief of police.

I looked at the bicycle as if it would strike back. Then, because I don't want to be a hiccupping idiot, I grabbed the handles. I stood up.

"There you go, kid."

I wiped my face, spreading more dirt in the process, but also wiping off the tears.

"Now, get up. Get on that thing."

I got on the seat again, shaken but sure.

"That's my girl." The pride in his voice was worth more than all the bandages in the world.

"It all gets better from here. You'll see."

I opened my eyes.