Chapter 14

The sun was beating down unusually warmly on the roof of the community centre, so much so that Nathan had to shield his eyes from the glare with his palm.

"I should have brought some sunglasses." Nathan voiced, frowning.

"Hmm." Was Simon's response.

Nathan twisted his head and glanced up at Simon from his position sat between his legs. Simon was lounging in a wheely chair, eyes closed with the zip of his jumpsuit undone halfway, revealing the newly muscular planes beneath.

Nathan grinned to himself as he leant back against Simon's legs. He'd changed so much since they'd gotten together, Nathan barely recognised anything of the shy, scared boy he used to be.

'It's your love that turns him into me.'

"Damn fucking right." Nathan muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Asked Kelly from her sunbathing position across the rooftop.

"Oh, nothing." Nathan called back. "Just chatting shit about sunglasses."

"Nathan Young? Chatting shit? Nooo." Curtis said sarcastically, lounging on an upturned fruit crate, Alisha giggled next to him.

"Oi, wanker, come say that to my face." Nathan said, voice light and joking, before balling his fists in Curtis' direction.

"You're too aggressive." Came Simon's soft, playful voice as he ran his fingers through Nathan's hair.

Nathan keened at the contact, reminded unceremoniously of Simon's hand in his hair yanking back when he's on his knees or Simon's hand in his hair pushing him into the bed as he...

He grinned stupidly to himself as he inclined his head to his boyfriend.

"You love me all rough." He pointed out, tongue in cheek.

Simon opened his eyes and glanced down at him, grinning softly. "That I do." Was all he said.

"We'd better get going back." Alisha suddenly voiced across the roof. "That dick probation worker probably has some boring shit he wants us to do."

There was a wave of groans as the five of them all stood and made their way down the stairs and into the main entrance of the community centre.

"I'm getting tired of this shit." Nathan moaned, slipping his hand into Simon's as they walked.

"Don't worry," Simon said, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "It'll all be over in a few weeks."

When they made their way to the entrance, they were halted by Kelly pressing her nose against the glass of the doorway to the main hall.

"What the fuck is going on in there?" She asked loudly.

Nathan stopped walking and stood on his tippy toes to get a better view of the room. It appeared to be a bunch of teenagers painting on easels, something that was normal enough, except something didn't seem quite right about them.

Nathan's eyes travelled over a male closest to the door who appeared to have a glazed over look in his eyes and was splatting paint onto his paper without any particular finesse, before his gaze settled on a woman with disproportionate facial features merely staring at her paper and not moving.

"I think they're retarded." Nathan finally voiced.

"Nathan!" Simon admonished, digging him in the ribs. "That's terrible."

"Sorry," Nathan said, rolling his eyes before he made a face. "Oh God, you don't think we have to get in on this do you?"

"Actually, that's exactly what you're going to do." Came the lazy drawl of the gangly, disinterested probation worker as he sauntered around the corner to greet them.

"What's wrong with them?" Alisha asked.

"They're all from St. James' psych ward."

Simon visibly swallowed. "St..St. James?" He asked, voice wavering.

Nathan, who noticed, glanced down at him with his eyebrow raised. "Are you okay?" He asked.

It took Simon a moment before he could nod, but he forced a smile onto his face as he did.

That seemed to satisfy Nathan who nodded back before looking back into the main hall, craning his neck to get a better look.

Nathan preoccupied, Simon looked back into the room and shivered as a part of him realised that if things had gone any differently for him, he'd be in that room with the rest of them rather than on the other side with his friends.

He didn't want to be reminded of his times on the psych ward, he wasn't that person anymore.

"Come on, let's go say hi." Nathan said cheerily, pushing the door open.

Simon closed his eyes, wishing there was some way to convey to Nathan exactly what was going on in his head without having to go into the finite details. But he had the power of invisibility, not telepathy, and had no choice but to follow them into the main hall.

He smiled half-heartedly at the kids who turned to stare at them and felt a stab of guilt that they were still there, still in that situation without a chance to really heal but then he reasoned with himself that some of them needed this help, and would benefit from it far better than he had.

"Simon?"

Simon turned instinctively to the female voice calling out his name and froze when he saw a sickly, pale, dark-haired girl staring expectantly at him.

"Lucy." He said, voice shaking slightly before he shook his head at himself and reminded himself he was no longer shy, scared Simon anymore. "I didn't know you were still at the hospital."

Lucy nodded and took an immediate step forward, eyes shining with something close to hunger and Simon found himself taking a step back.

"No, don't let me take you away from what you're doing..." He said quickly, but she was still advancing on him.

"Simon, you alright?" Came Alisha's voice from beside him, his head whipped to her and she seemed to pick up on the unease in his eyes and stared Lucy down.

"Err...I think you better back off." She said pointedly.

"Alisha..."

"I've been waiting for you, Simon, for so long." Lucy continued, voice so low it was almost eerie and a hint of moisture teasing her eyes.

Simon was met with the marred feelings of guilt and fear inside of him, he noticed Curtis and Nathan bounding up to them in his periphery.

"Why didn't you come to visit me?" She asked, voice accusing.

Simon shut his eyes, sincerely wishing that this conversation was happening anywhere but in front of everyone stood around him.

"I couldn't go back." He said, so quietly it was barely above a whisper. But he meant it, when he'd left the ward, he'd left for good. He couldn't return. Maybe if it were Nathan he were leaving behind, he might have had the strength but not her.

A tear fell down her cheek as if she had read his thought process and Simon almost wanted to reach out and comfort her but also wanted to bolt from the room.

"But I loved you." Was all she said through her tears, "I still love you."

The room was deathly silent and Simon knew he should have said something but the words just didn't come out. Instead, he merely watched as she turned on her heel and ran out of the community centre, suddenly consciously aware of all the other eyes on him.

Without looking at anyone, he walked straight from the room, too, turning in the opposite direction that she went in and walking straight to the locker rooms. The minute he was there, he sat down on one of the benches and let his face fall into his hands, he knew he wasn't going to cry but he definitely wasn't okay.

He didn't look up when he heard the quiet pad of footsteps walk up to him but was fairly sure who had sought him out.

"Simon," came Nathan's soft brogue. "Are you okay?"

Simon took his face from his hands and stared up at Nathan, taken aback slightly by his wide eyes and worried expression.

"Yeah." He said quietly, it wasn't precisely a lie but he'd been better.

Nathan sighed as he sat down next to him and leant forward on his elbows.

"What was that all about?" He finally asked and Simon smiled at the jealousy clipping his voice.

"You know what I was like before," Simon started quietly, finding he couldn't quite look at his boyfriend as he spoke. "I wasn't in a very good place, I didn't have any friends, I...after I tried to burn that guy's house down, they put me in St. James' psychiatric ward for evaluation before they decided I was sane enough to do community service. When I was in there, I met that girl, Lucy, she seemed lonelier than me and we were friends. I promised her I'd come and see her when I got out but I just couldn't go back."

He kept his eyes lowered and watched as Nathan's hand snaked out and took his own, Simon was grateful for the comforting contact and looked up to see the Irishman smiling sadly at him.

"You're not that person anymore," he told him softly, "you don't have to feel bad about your past."

"As pasts go, it's a pretty good one." He muttered.

"What, because I'm such a flower?" Nathan supplied with a snort. "I was an obnoxious arsehole, I mean, granted, I'm still an obnoxious arsehole but look at the way I used to treat everybody, the way I used to treat you. If you were that troubled in the past, it's only because people like me existed to make you that way."

Simon suddenly found himself squeezing Nathan's hand tighter and huddling into him.

"This isn't your fault." He assured him. "It's not."

"I know." Nathan replied. "My point is, we all have shit we've come away from, I'm never gonna judge you for that. You know I wouldn't." With that, he leant forward and pressed a soft, comforting kiss to Simon's lips and Simon smiled, feeling immensely better. The pair laughed softly as they broke apart, hands still entwined.

"One thing that has pissed me off, though," Nathan finally voiced.

"What?" Asked Simon.

"You have a crazy stalker whose in love with you."

Simon sighed heavily. "I promise you have nothing to worry about," he assured him, voice faltering. "I might, mind."

"Don't worry," Nathan grinned, "I'll kick her ass."

"Now you get all 'over-protective boyfriend'..." Simon muttered.

"Seriously, though." Nathan began, sobering. "If she gives you any grief, don't keep it from me, yeah?"

Simon nodded. "Of course I wouldn't, we're in this together. But don't worry," he leant in and pecked him on the lips again, "I doubt I'll bump into her again."

…

Simon prepared to eat his words as he tried to leave the community centre later that day and was stopped by Lucy standing in the corridor, staring at him.

"Jesus Christ." He shouted, stepping back suddenly. "You scared me."

"You seem different." She observed, cocking her head to the side and narrowing her eyes.

"I am." Was all Simon said. "Goodnight." He attempted to walk past her but Lucy's hand flew out and grabbed his arm in a claw-like grip.

"Ow, ow, Lucy, let me go!" He shook her off. "What are you doing?" He asked angrily. "You can't do that to people, you know they'll never let you out if you do!"

"I don't want them to let me out!" She spat, "the real world isn't for people like you and me, I want you to come back with me."

"That's never going to happen." He said, calling on some of his new-found, personality-altering confidence. "I'm never going back, I'm not that person anymore. I've changed, for the better. If you get the right help, Lucy, then you can change as well."

"What happened to you?" She asked accusingly. "You used to like the ward, you used to like me. You can't leave me like this, I love you, I know you love me, too."

Simon felt bad, because it wasn't in his nature to intentionally hurt innocent people, and sighed and took a step forward. "Look, Lucy, you were my friend, and I'm sorry things happened the way they did, but I don't love you. I love someone else."

"Someone else?" She asked quietly.

Simon nodded gently. "Yes, someone else. I'm happy. For the first time in my life, I'm genuinely happy. If you really loved me, you would want that for me."

He smiled softly at her before walking around her and out of the door of the community centre, feeling like he'd really just accomplished something.

What he didn't realise was that he was leaving behind a very hurt and very unstable and very powerful young woman, hell-bent on destroying whoever had taken Simon's love from her.