So it has been a while since I updated, but all for the good. I have edited all of the chapters. Nothing that changes the plot, but some of the personal dynamics have been tweaked and (in my opinion) improved. I would urge anyone who has been reading for a while to go back and re-read/skim.
I started out the story not knowing what I would do with it, but now I know. So please forgive the break in updates, but enjoy. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, etc.
Halloween was drawing near. The leaves were changing colors, the weather was cooling down, and the school grounds were beautiful. This was usually Hermione's favorite time of year.
As Hermione was absently purifying Flobberworm mucus to use for a batch of Boil-Cure potion she realized she hadn't paid enough attention to the weather. It was probably wonderful and she usually enjoyed taking long walks around the grounds this time of year.
"Something wrong?" a familiar voice rumbled from a few feet away. Hermione looked up and to see that Severus was staring at her. She realized she had stopped working and had just been staring off into space.
"Oh, nothing. Just remembering something I need to do" Hermione said as she looked back down.
"What you need to do is concentrate," Severus said in his professor voice, though without the usual amount of disdain reserved for students.
Hermione took a moment to readjust her gloves which had slipped off slightly in her reverie. The gloves were given to Hermione by Severus. They were excellent work gloves, protecting her hands from heat, harsh chemicals, and other potion ingredients but she wasn't sure what to think of them. They were fancy looking, nicely-fitting black gloves and were nice enough to wear outside the classroom. Severus happened to leave them on her work bench on her birthday a couple of weeks previously though she had no idea of they were intended as a birthday present. She decided it wasn't worth the time to ponder, and certainly not worth wearing Severus' patience to ask such an awkward question.
"Hmm," was all Hermione responded with as she looked back down at her work.
It was Saturday evening and Hermione had just awaken from a nap, thankfully with no nightmares. Hermione had left the dungeons a couple of hours previously. She had spent most of her Saturday morning and afternoon doing extra work with Severus. The extra time had become necessary with so much time going into their secret project, but it was not unpleasant- most days.
Hermione decided to go on a walk around the grounds. She had neglected to do so for far too long. After getting dressed warmly, she headed down from the dormitory. In the Great Hall, she found Ron and Harry playing Wizard's Chess. Like always, Ron was winning. As Hermione approached, Ron took Harry's king with a satisfied grin while Harry slumped back in his chair.
"Don't you know you always lose to Ron?" Hermione teased. Harry looked up in mock surprise.
"Hermione! It's been so long since we've seen you we forgot what you look like," Harry grinned. "Heading out somewhere?" Ron added.
"Yeah I was going to go for a walk. Would you guys like to join me?" They nodded as they put up the chess set.
They passed Draco who was sitting with Crabbe and Goyle as they walked out of the castle. It was the same as it had been since the beginning of the term; they only stared at the trio and said nothing. Hermione found it very unnerving. One they were out on the grounds and out of earshot, Harry turned to the other two.
"What do you think Lucius has told his son? Draco hasn't said a word to any of us since the beginning of the term," Harry said. Hermione's stomach clenched at the sound of Lucius' name.
"I don't know but it bothers me," Ron muttered. "The bastard better not be playing at anything. What do you think Hermione?"
Hermione thought for a moment and chose her words carefully.
"Obviously Lucius didn't buy the story that I am loyal to Voldemort," she began slowly, "But as I told you, Voldemort also made it clear to Lucius not to mess with me. I'm guessing that warning extends to all Malfoys." She had told Harry and Ron very few details of either time she had been at Voldemort's headquarters for obvious reasons.
"Hmm," Harry and Ron mumbled in unhappy unison.
"I don't see how You-Know-Who believes it either," said Ron who still would not use Voldemort's actual name out loud. "I mean, I know you said you and Snape went on some mission to prove loyalty, or something like that, but I don't see why He would believe a non-Pure Blood was loyal to him."
The trio stopped at a small sheltered cove along the perimeter of the Great Lake. Again, Hermione carefully chose what she said.
"I don't think Voldemort cares if I am loyal to Him exactly. He really just wanted to see that I would do whatever Se- uh, Professor Snape told me to. He thinks he controls Snape, so if He think Snape controls me, then I imagine Voldemort is happy with that."
Harry glared slightly. He still wasn't convinced that Snape was completely on their side.
"Now that was just bloody confusing," Ron half-heartedly joked.
"Why does Voldemort think Snape can control you?" Harry asked as if he had never really thought about it before. Hermione froze for a moment; she didn't know how to explain it without saying something unnecessary.
"Well…goodness I don't know how much Dumbledore wants me to say," Hermione stalled for a moment. "Basically, the story is ever since Voldemort's return, Professor Snape has been manipulating me. It's fairly well-known how much I enjoy academics, so the story for Voldemort is that Professor Snape began paying a lot of attention to me in class then in tutoring, then gained my trust over time and established himself as a mentor to me and he's been using that to manipulate my loyalties," Hermione said.
"I don't like it," Harry muttered after a moment.
"Listen Harry, I don't know if I'll ever be able to convince you that Snape is on our side, but think about it. He risked his life to save mine. He could have easily let me die, but he didn't," Hermione said.
"Well what if he doing exactly what that 'story' said? It seems to me he has your trust and he has been paying a lot of 'academic attention' to you," Ron said timidly, looking from Harry to Hermione. Hermione realized they must have planned what they were saying.
At the same moment she was angry, she also had a realization that there was a possibility they could be right. Severus was an incredibly intelligent, cunning man and a very good actor. She had seen this all first hand. She always had faith in who Dumbledore trusted, but for the first time she really considered the fact that Severus might be able to fool Dumbledore.
At that moment, the semblance of security Hermione had created for her reality shattered. She quickly tried to cover any sign that they had rattled her.
"I'm not telling you to trust him blindly or even at all, but just consider the possibility that he really is on our side," Hermione said with much less confidence than she would have had five minutes earlier. Harry and Ron didn't look happy but nodded in agreement.
"We don't mean to worry you or anything. It's just… we know you. You get so wrapped up in what you're doing that sometimes… I don't know, you don't always take a step back and see the big picture," Harry said carefully, afraid to incur her wrath.
Hermione was annoyed, but she saw they were saying this out of concern. She sighed.
"I appreciate your worry. And yes, I suppose I can be like that sometimes. But… for now you have to trust me," Hermione finished, not knowing what else to say.
No one said anything else as the trio stared out over the lake which was reflecting the darkening sky.
In the dungeons, Severus cursed as he felt his Dark Mark burn. Using the Mark as a pathway of communication, Voldemort spoke directly into Severus' mind.
'Severus I need you. I need you to bring the girl as well. Now.'
There was a sharp pain as Voldemort broke the connection and Severus sighed heavily. He clasped his hands behind his head in frustration and worry, but decided he would go to the Dark Lord himself and try to convince Him he could not simply take the girl off of the grounds. He did not want Hermione invloved in whatever this was.
The three returned to the castle for dinner which began in tense silence. Hermione broke it by telling them, and this time honestly, that she would consider what they said.
"You know, I am aware that I'm not always right," Hermione said as light-heartedly as she could. Ron choked on his pudding and Hermione responded with a glare. "I mean, it was me who ended up trying to turn into Millicent Bulstrode's cat second year…"
At this Harry and Ron laughed. Hermione smiled as she felt the tension ease.
Hermione flung herself on her bed as dramatically as she could manage after dinner. It had been a long day, and a stressful one.
She began thinking if Harry and Ron could possibly be right. Did she trust Severus too soon, too easily? She could see it would be within his power to fool her and Dumbledore and that scared her. Severus just plain scared her on some level. He was an enigma wrapped in dark robes. He was unpredictable, inconsistent, and frustrating to deal with. He was also incredibly intelligent and powerful. But somehow, even after Ron and Harry had shaken her up, she couldn't believe that Severus was truly loyal to Voldemort. She had seen a side of Severus that she was beginning to believe no else had, or at least not in a very long time. And there was no way she could explain that to Harry or Ron. She sighed and decided all she could do was trust Severus, but she would have to be careful as always.
With that, Hermione began to doze off.
Severus hit the floor and felt blood ooze from his nose and drip from his mouth.
"I did not tell you to bring me excuses, I told you to bring me the girl!" Voldemort hissed as he hit Severus with another curse which slip open the skin on his back and arm in long slow gashes. "No return and do what you must to bring her to me!" With that, Voldemort flung Severus from his room with a curse.
When Severus was sure that no one was around, he took a moment to lay on the ground and compose himself. He guessed this might be the Dark Lord's reaction, but he considered it worth the effort. He slowly picked himself up but stumbled and flinched as his wounds were stretched by the motion. He grimaced at the pain and at the though that he would be going to Madame Pomfrey yet again this week. And that Hermione would be here yet again at Voldemort's mercy.
Severus breathed deeply. It was all he could do somedays.
Hermione awoke to tapping at the window. She tried to ignore it, hoping one of her dorm mates would deal with whatever it was. But neither of them stirred. Hermione grumbled and looked up to see an owl hovering outside the window. It struck Hermione as odd. Owls should only coming during breakfast.
She quickly wrapped a robe around herself and opened the window. The owl dropped a letter and flew off. She closed the window quickly to keep out the cold and picked up the letter. It was address to Ms. Hermione Granger.
She rubbed her eyes to fend sleep off as she opened it.
Ms. Granger,
Please come meet me in my office as quickly as you can. Please come alone.
Most Sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore
Hermione tensed. This couldn't be good. She looked around at realized it couldn't be any later than 4am. She quickly dressed and grabbed her wand, worrying the entire time what this was about.
She quietly descended the stairs to the Common room which was empty (thankfully) and then headed to Dumbledore's office. When she reached the stone gargoyle, her tired brain couldn't remember the password. She nearly jumped out of her skin when someone said her name.
"Oh Remus! You scared me," Hermione said to the disheveled man before her. "What are you doing here?"
"I just got a letter from Dumbledore summoning me to his office. It said it was Order business," Remus explained, stifling a yawn. "Were you summoned as well?"
"Reese's Cup," Hermione said. "The password," she smilingly explained to the barely awake, confused Lupin. "And yes, I just got a letter as well." Confusion turned into worried. Hermione looked Lupin over. He looked bedraggled and had dark circles under his eyes. Hermione remembered the full moon was fairly recent.
They ascended the stairs together and heard Dumbledore say "Enter." Hermione entered to meet several pairs of tired eyes. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Kingsley, Moody, and Snape were waiting, looking impatient.
"My apologies for not being here sooner. The full moon was two nights ago, and I did not awake so easily," Remus explained quietly to the stern eyes as he stood beside them. Snape flared his nose and grunted disdainfully.
"Um… what's going on?" Hermione asked after a few more moments.
"Professor Snape has informed me of instructions that Voldemort has given him when he was summoned a short time ago," Dumbledore began explaining. Hermione noticed Severus twitch slightly at the sound of Voldemort's name. "I believe the Order should be informed immediately to prevent any suspicion or misunderstanding. I believe last time some people felt left out of the loop and were quite unhappy." While Dumbledore was talking, Hermione looked at Severus who did not return the eye contact.
"Well, what is it?" she asked.
"It seems Professor Snape is to take you with him on some sort of task, but even he does not know the details," McGonagall said with annoyance in her voice.
"Minerva, please. Severus has told us all he knows," Dumbledore said sternly.
"What do you mean there are no details?" Hermione asked looking from one person to another.
"We mean Severus expects us to release you to him blindly with no knowledge of where you will be going or what you will be doing," Kingsley said calmly and evenly, though there was a hint of anger in the underlying iciness of his voice.
"If you would rather have me question and directly disobey the Dark Lord, I'm sure that will work out just fine for Ms. Granger and myself," Severus returned equally icily.
"Hermione is who I am concerned for. Let's be clear on that," Kingsley quipped.
"That's enough!" Moody snarled. "That's not helping."
"We came here to discuss this and take the best course of action," Dumbledore said loudly and sternly enough to effectively quiet all grumbling.
"The best course of action would be to put Ms. Granger in hiding and keep her away," Moody said gruffly. Severus was about to respond when Hermione had had enough and cut in.
"Best for who, exactly, to force me into hiding? For you so you can put it out of your mind?" she half-yelled. "You are talking about me as if I'm not even here!"
Everyone was effectively shocked into silence by her outburst.
"As thrilled as Professor Snape probably is about this, I would say he is only asking what he must," Hermione continued. If she wasn't busy ranting, Hermione may have noticed a quick smirk flash across Severus' face. "Putting me in hiding is out of the question. I did not Obliviate my parents just so that I can sit safely in hiding and let all the 'grown-ups' to the work. And to be quite honest, I don't see many people acting like grown-ups right now," Hermione fumed. She then slapped her hand over her mouth in shock and horror of what she had just said.
Even Severus looked mildly surprised at the full-length outburst.
"Despite, Ms. Granger's blush of regret, I would have to agree with her," Dumbledore said, making many heads turn sharply to look at him. "If I did not believe Ms. Granger was capable of handling herself under this kind of pressure, I would have forced her into hiding myself the second Severus kindly returned her to us that night."
Hermione felt a lump rising in her throat.
"You can't expect us to want her to risk her life like this, especially not knowing what You-Know-Who is wanting them to do?" McGonagall said exasperatedly.
"I am exceedingly happy we actually know when you are sending them to endanger their lives, but what is it you expect us to say?" Kingsley asked.
"What is it you expect of Hermione?" Remus asked, speaking up for the first time, but was addressing Severus and not Dumbledore.
"What I expect is for you to trust my trust in Severus. He is not taking this lightly and will put Ms. Granger's life before his own should the occasion call for it," Dumbledore calmly replied to Kingsley.
"What I expect of Ms. Granger is for her to keep her mouth shut and do nothing to endanger us, despite her apparent delusions of grandeur concerning being involved in all this," Severus replied coldly to Remus. Hermione felt as if she had been slapped across the face as she heard the words from his mouth.
"Will you explain what you know about this particular task, Severus?" Dumbledore asked. Severus sighed heavily.
"The Dark Lord has asked me to bring the girl with me to get instructions, and refused to tell me anything until I have the girl with me," Severus explained. Being referred to as 'the girl' was like another slap to Hermione.
"I do not know what he wished us to do, or where, but I will inform you of anything I can as soon as possible. And yes, I will keep the girl safe," Severus continued coldly as if it annoyed him.
Hermione was clenching her fists so tightly in righteous anger that her nails were digging into the skin on her palms.
"If that's all, I have kept the Dark Lord waiting long enough. If anyone disagrees, I invite you to stop me," Severus threatened. When no one moved, Severus looked to Dumbledore who nodded somberly.
"You will know something as soon as I can let you know," Severus finished. He then strode forward and grabbed Hermione by the arm as if she were a petulant child and led her out of Dumbledore's office and down the stairs.
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