"You are you,"
Again with a loud thump, her head came into contact with the desk. The day seemed like a blur for Kurumi. Her mind tried to organize today's events chronologically but all she could remember were bits and pieces of events that were memorable for her. During class she started dozing off and the proof of it was left on her notes, which started out legible but soon turned into a chaotic mess of scribbles. The only thing she could remember somewhat clearly was meeting the eccentric Nishinoya who she thought was a first year because of his small height. He gave off the same vibe as Tanaka at first because of his hair and the fact that he was suspended from school did not help his image, but his bright personality soon won her over and although she would never admit it in front of anyone, Nishinoya resembled a friendly neighborhood dog.
"Agh," She let out a loud noise of frustration and as if in response, the computer monitor blinked, showing briefly a reflection of her face.
"… I look horrendous," Commenting on her face, she decided to save her work on the computer and continue working on it tomorrow.
After groggily locking up and cleaning the remains of the chaos that ensued from trying to meet the deadline for the newspaper club's golden week special edition, Kurumi much like a zombie dragged her body out of the school.
Staring blankly at the ground while walking, all Kurumi could think about was the warm comfort of her bed and how sweet a good six hours of sleep would feel when a hesitant, "Senpai?" called out to her.
"Hm?" Slowly turning her head to the left, her eyes tried to focus on the figure walking towards her.
"Ah, Yamaguchi," She tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible, "Why are you here? It's so late…"
Yamaguchi, slightly taken aback by Kurumi's current status, answered, "We had a volleyball match… why haven't you gone home yet?"
"I'm about to head out now," Pointing her finger forward, she motioned to him, "want to walk home together?"
"...o…okay," Yamaguchi replied shyly, clutching his bag tightly.
She had taken only two steps when she came to a halt, "Wait, aren't you going to walk home with Tsukishima?"
"He left already, saying that today's match tired him out too much," Yamaguchi recalled.
"Wow, I thought they were inseparable," She muttered under her breath, too tired to filter her thoughts before she said them out loud.
As they leisurely made their way down, Kurumi was struggling to keep conversation with Yamaguchi. There was a slight breeze which felt like a spell, enticing Kurumi's eyelids to droop and her brain to function slower than usual. The sun had already set a while ago, so the duo walked in the darkness with only lampposts as their guide through the night.
"Senpai… are you okay?" Yamaguchi fidgeted, feeling slightly worried about the lack of personality and enthusiasm in her.
"Yeah, I'm just exhausted," Kurumi let out a weak laugh, trying to assure him that all she needed was a good night's rest.
A long period of silence ensued because Yamaguchi had no idea what to talk to her about and because Kurumi was too tired to make conversation. However, Yamaguchi felt pressured to say something if anything and he let out a sigh of relief when Kurumi's phone beeped.
She reached into her pocket, quickly read the message and shoved her phone back into her pocket.
"You don't need to respond?" Yamaguchi asked.
Kurumi shook her head, "I can respond when I get home, it's nothing important, just Kageyama,"
At her response, Yamaguchi's ears perked up. That was the last person that he thought would be texting her.
"Oh," Yamaguchi responded, attempting to hide the shock from his voice, "I guess you're pretty close to him if he can text you so casually like that,"
Pretty close? She echoed in her mind, taking a moment to think about that phrase as well as the relationship that she had with Kageyama. If anything, she did not feel close to him at all because she could not read him or his feelings.
Kurumi shook her head, "No, we're not that close. He just messaged me letting me know what's been going on in the volleyball club because I haven't been able to stop by as often recently,"
"That's true; I haven't seen you around lately. Is something wrong…?" Yamaguchi asked cautiously, wondering if it had something to do with the immense dark circles under her eyes.
"Nothing's wrong," She lightly patted Yamaguchi on the shoulder which caused him to tense up and stop walking.
At his abrupt pause, she laughed, "Stop worrying so much and being anxious! I should be the one worrying about you. You seem so nervous that you're making me nervous,"
Yamaguchi took a deep breath. Somehow walking home like this with her made him more nervous than the other times he had talked to her when Tsukishima was there. Just the two of them walking side by side made him feel uneasy. Perhaps it was the fact that he had no experience with girls or the fact that he knew that she was not merely talking to him to ask about Tsukishima but whatever the reason, it made him feel restless inside.
"I'm just… always like this," Yamaguchi admitted, walking to catch up with her.
Kurumi turned her head to look at him, "You should have more confidence in yourself and stop putting yourself down for no reason,"
"I mean, I'm not like Tsukki," Yamaguchi explained, hoping that she would understand his perspective, "I'm not tall, good looking, smart, talented at volleyball…"
As Yamaguchi trailed on about how amazing Tsukishima was in comparison to him, Kurumi saw her past self in him and it reminded her of the days she spent admiring the people who were smarter than her, the geniuses who just seemed to understand everything without even lifting a finger. For exams, they would only study the minimum two hours and would somehow get a better score than her even though she would devote at least double the time that they spent. She could remember so clearly the feeling of helplessness as she was forced to accept the sad reality that some people were just born with it and she just was not one of the lucky ones. Perhaps it was the reminder of the past that caused her to obtain confidence that otherwise she would not have but she ran in front of Yamaguchi and faced him directly.
"Why in the world would you want to be like Tsukishima?" She exclaimed looking straight into his eyes, "Yeah sure maybe he's all that you said he was but… he's not perfect. He's lacking things that you have so why can't you be proud of the qualities that you have?"
Pointing her index finger straight at him, she declared, "I think you're a great person, Yamaguchi Tadashi. Although you still feel uncomfortable around me, I can already tell that you have a better personality than Tsukishima will ever have so don't ever compare yourself to others,"
Yamaguchi's face started to turn red at the sudden compliment and he was at a loss for words. Similarly, Kurumi realized the weight of the words she had just said proudly and felt the heat creeping up her ears. This was not the effect that she was aiming for. All she wished was for Yamaguchi to understand his own self worth, to see for himself that he was so much more than he thought he was.
"I uh," She stuttered, all her confidence from before gone, "Let's hurry home!"
Feeling embarrassed at her confession, Kurumi started to power walk towards the station, wanting to escape this situation immediately.
Her compliment was unexpected and it felt strange to him because he was just plain, normal, banal Yamaguchi. He stared at Kurumi who reminded him of a tiny soldier fending for herself on the battlefield. Her outburst honestly surprised him but at the same time, he could not help but feel some kind of respect and admiration towards her. To the shy Yamaguchi, he was jealous of her headstrong personality and the way she presented herself to others. Just like the way he viewed Tsukishima, Kurumi was also an existence like a star to him.