"Well hey there ladies." The dark-haired man tripped on the curb outside the first house they were scheduled to see that morning, but confidently stepped forward and offered Caroline his hand. "So you're the gorgeous blond this one's been keeping all to herself." He cocked a thumb at Eleanor as he spoke. His tone and broad, silly smile somehow transformed his words, less slimy than they were self-effacing and ingratiating.
"I'm Phil Dunleavy. And are we going to have a great time together, or what? Are you ready to walk into the house of your dreams?" He looked between them expectantly and gestured grandly to the squat architectural amalgam behind him.
Caroline darted her eyes to Eleanor. "A word, darling?" She held a finger up to Phil. "Just give us a moment, please."
"Take all the time you need there. I'll be waiting." He smiled and pointed his index finger at her.
She turned and walked to the end of the drive in front of potential new home #1. Arms crossed, she did not speak as Eleanor came around to face her.
"He's the number one agent in Harrogate. I swear to you. I could not make this up, Caroline."
"I don't care if he's the bloody prince of Monaco, I am not spending the day looking at houses with that man. In that car.'" Hushed tone gradually rising, she gestured animatedly over to the black two-seater Porsche parked behind the Jeep.
"Well." Eleanor clasped her hands at her waist. "He says that it's fine if we want to drive, because it lets him focus more on us – the clients."
"It's fine? It's fine? It's bloody fine?" Caroline was actually at a loss for words.
"Yes. Fine. That's the word he's used, you've grasped the concept nicely."
Caroline narrowed her eyes. "Is this your payback, then?"
Eleanor smiled primly. "Oh no. When that comes around you won't have to ask."
She looked back over to Phil, to the house, and then to Eleanor. "One house."
Eleanor crossed her heart with her index finger. "He gets once chance."
"Fine." Caroline grabbed Eleanor's hand, turned on her heel and walked back up the drive.
"Everything right as rain then?" Another ingratiating smile.
"Yep. Right as rain Phil. Lead on." Caroline gave a bright smile and waved her arm at the house. "Now what's this I hear about laundry in the master suite? Because I think I have some reservations."
"So what do you think? Marble countertops, eh?" Phil moved to lean on the kitchen counter and instead placed his hand at the edge of a bowl of apples, tipping it and sending most of them rolling to the floor. "Oh. Ooops. Sorry about that. No harm no foul." He replaced most of them, plucked up a remaining apple and attempted to casually toss it in the air, but instead lost the trajectory and sent it toward Eleanor, who caught it first in the stomach and then with her hands.
She held it up with a patient smile and out toward him. "Apple a day."
He pointed at her and laughed. "Ahhh – I knew I liked you." He inclined his head to Caroline. "But this one's still warming up to me, if you catch my drift."
Eleanor made a pleasantly pained face and nodded at Phil's attempt at an inside joke. "So. New gas range, I believe."
"Only the very newest and the very finest!" He turned his attention to the range. "Let's fire this baby up and see what she can do!"
Caroline started forward. "Oh no. No need. I don't think that's necessary." She shot a terrified look over to Eleanor.
"Not necessary at all, Phil. We ummm – we – I have that exact range already. I'm completely familiar."
"Well okay then – but don't go around saying Phil Dunleavy's not up for a little hot home cooking.'"
"I certainly won't." Eleanor gave him her most indulgent Strathclyde smile.
"How about this pantry though, am I right?" He opened a door at the end of the countertop adjacent to the stove. Suddenly a very angry, very frightened, and very aggressive cat launched itself directly at his shins.
"Oh holy mother of peanut brittle. What the hell?!" He danced back and the cat growled at him before darting off to parts unknown. He glanced back over to Eleanor and then Caroline, still smiling, but through a pronounced wince as he laid a hand on his shin, spots of blood on his trousers. "Well that was certainly a surprise! But don't worry – I promise, Felix there doesn't come with the house."
The two women pretended to be extremely interested in the oversized pantry as Phil stepped back. "Just going to go ahead and preview that bathroom, see if – ahhh – there's enough toilet paper, you know, for showings."
Caroline nodded her head. "Mmmmm hmmmm."
Phil slunk off through the kitchen and down the hallway.
They looked at each other silently, and suddenly and simultaneously burst into hushed laughter.
"Okay. I'm sorry. I really am. We can switch agents immediately." Eleanor placed an apologetic hand on Caroline's shoulder.
"Now hold on. I think I'm actually starting to like him. This house and the terribly impractical marble countertops can go. But he can stay."
"Oh Caroline – no. Really?"
"Well he's a touch – odd." They almost began to giggle again. "But he knows his shit, Eleanor. That's plain as day."
Eleanor quit her laughing and looked at Caroline earnestly. "Well I know. That's why I chose him."
"Of course it is." Caroline was still grinning fiercely and she scanned Eleanor's face with bright blue eyes and ran her fingers slowly down a strand of her hair. "You're the savviest business woman I know, after all."
"Thank you. Your admission means a lot to me."
"Admission?"
"That you were wrong."
Caroline opened her mouth to retort as Phil came around the corner.
"Happy to report that the downstairs loo is in perfect working order."
"Good to know." Eleanor peeked around Caroline, still facing her with a bemused expression, and gave Phil a thumbs-up.
"So hey – no one scores the game winning goal the first time on the pitch. I can see you two have reservations." He pointed between them as they stood on the front lawn, eyes back and forth to either woman, who were very apparently unimpressed with this first effort. "But real estate's all about the long game! I promise we'll have you lovebirds nested before you can say escalation clause."
"We have plenty of time to wait for the right home." Caroline crossed her arms and did not look over to Eleanor.
"Well then you're my new happiest clients… because have I got the house for you!" He shook a finger at them, expression excited and sly. "It's not on the market yet, so we can't look at it today. But I give you my personal guarantee it is going to knock your socks off!"
"I'll keep my socks, thank you. But I'm sure if you recommend it we'll be very interested." Caroline allowed her own tone to become conspiratorial. She tilted her head jauntily and smiled over in self-satisfaction to Eleanor.
Eleanor closed her eyes and subtly shook her head.
"Okay then. I know you said you want time alone to discuss. So I'll meet you at the next place. And I know you're going to love it. You don't have to buy it, but you do have to love it!'
"Yes, Phil. We're all about love." Caroline placed a hand at the small of Eleanor's back and pushed her forward toward the car.
Eleanor held up a hand and waggled her fingers at him. "See you there."
"Now. I know it doesn't have a lot of curb appeal. But Caroline – Eleanor." He met their eyes and pointed between them with emphasis. "I don't think you're the kind of people to judge a book by its cover."
Out of ways to respond, they nodded silently.
He smiled and rubbed his hands together. "All right then – let's do this!"
Eleanor and Caroline locked eyes and clasped hands and followed Phil into what seemed to be undesirable house #2.
"Laundry in the master. This is it happy home hunters. Voila!" Phil pulled back the door to a large walk-in closet, which promptly fell off one of the hinges. He caught it poorly and fell back against the adjacent wall. He recovered immediately with a smile and leaned the door on the wall. "Ha ha! Not complete without a quirk or two. And we can always negotiate!"
He turned his attention back to the washer and dryer in the closet. "Right here on the main hallway, just down from your cozy master suite and easy access from anywhere in the house. The magic of the future." He waved his hands dramatically at the mismatched appliances.
"Oooooh." Eleanor put on a serious face and nodded.
Caroline turned around and began to walk away. "Excuse me just a moment, I think I need to sneeze." Caroline, her shoulders shaking, cleared her throat and appeared to wipe her eyes. She stood straighter and put her shoulders back before turning back to Phil. "All set. What's next?"
"I thought you'd never ask. Because what I'm about to show you will blow your minds." He started down the hallway.
Caroline's eyes widened and she almost appeared to choke. Eleanor coughed. "Can't wait, Phil."
"Follow me," he turned back to them, "to paradise."
Eleanor squeezed Caroline's hand tightly, almost until it hurt, before loosening the pressure.
Caroline leaned into her shoulder with a whisper. "Thank you."
They followed Phil into the master suite.
Eleanor squeezed Caroline's hand again, this time involuntarily. "Phil – this is amazing."
"What did I tell you?!" He pumped his fist in the air a couple times and smiled over, nodding.
Caroline and Eleanor exchanged wide-eyed looks of amazement. The bedroom was floor to ceiling windows on three sides. It wasn't immediately apparent from the front, but you could imagine the view from the bedroom, if the house had been laid out correctly, and it had.
Bounded on two sides by evergreens, the room looked over a long v-shaped valley that sloped gently down and then back up to rolling green hills.
Eleanor turned to Caroline. "This."
Caroline smiled in contentment at Eleanor's unconstrained enthusiasm.
Phil pointed with both hands at them, index fingers out. "What did I tell you, huh? Phil always knows best."
They ignored him and walked further in to the room, lost in their exploration. Eleanor in awe towards the windows, and Caroline toward the en suite.
Phil's phone rang, 'Eye of the Tiger.' He made an overly-embarrassed face and held up his finger as he snuck out of the room. "Hi sweetie."
Both women still ignored him. Caroline had already disappeared into the en suite.
Eleanor watched Phil leave, and followed her. She walked in and closed the door behind her – and turned the lock.
Caroline faced her, curious and frowning. "Elean – "
Eleanor put a finger to her lips and shook her head, wavy auburn hair swinging back and forth.
Caroline appraised her. 'Is she serious?' She contemplated and weighed the possibilities, already incredibly uncomfortable. 'She can't be serious.' She started forward to call Eleanor's bluff.
Eleanor met her halfway across the floor. She grabbed the front of Caroline's shirt and pulled her forward abruptly with a sly grin before she kissed her, pent up frustration becoming obvious. Caroline gave up any illusions that this wasn't going to end in an incredibly embarrassing manner. Though as Eleanor's hands wandered freely, she started to stop caring and began smiling and kissing her back in earnest, a hand dropping to Eleanor's chest and a hand under her cardigan and resting on her waist. She dropped her other hand to unbutton Caroline's jeans. She released Caroline's neck and slid a hand up under her shirt. She skimmed her fingers slowly and lightly upward until Caroline took a sharp breath in, and then rested her palm and lingered.
She whispered and smiled against Caroline's ear, "You know I loathe shortchanging you. But we're in a hurry," finishing the sentiment with a quick nip.
Caroline exhaled and nodded, eyes closed and ever less present in her surroundings as Eleanor became more aggressive. Reminding herself of something she'd thought about once in a bar, of making memories that turned into great stories. Even if they were just between the two of them.
Eleanor settled her against the vanity, one hand now between Caroline's shoulder blades pulling her forward and the other beginning to leave her weak in the knees and grateful for Eleanor's arm around her.
"Hey my favorite clients in the whole world. Everything okay in there?" Phil's voice surprised them from the other side of the door.
Caroline's blue eyes flew open wide and she let out a silent choking laugh. Eleanor didn't stop, but did reluctantly pull her mouth away from Caroline's neck as she looked toward the door. "Just trying to fix a rather embarrassing rip in Caroline's jeans. Be right out."
"Oh. Oh. Um. Okay then – take your time. Get intimate with your new bathroom!"
Eleanor didn't miss a beat, with Caroline or with Phil, voice smooth and sweet as honey. "Oh we will."
She turned her mouth back to Caroline's neck and pulled her even closer. Caroline wrapped her arms around Eleanor, not wanting an inch of space between them; eyes shut tight and shocked at how quickly she was moving along. 'I suppose it has been five days.' She shut out everything but the pressure and the contours of Eleanor's body against her, how she felt and how she smelled. How she breathed in her ear and moved with her in unison. She focused on her own body's reaction. After a brief eternity she leaned forward and bit Eleanor's shoulder, shuddering for a few moments and then laughing mutely and trying not to actually gasp for air.
Eleanor smiled and kept Caroline close, holding her up and waiting for her to catch her breath. She chuckled gently as Caroline panted quietly on her shoulder.
"I told you that when the payback came, you wouldn't have to ask."