Time

Noun

1. An infinite source measuring the seconds, minutes and hours in a day while also, dividing events from past, present and future.

2. The segregation of days into weeks and weeks into months.

3. The gradual, visible change of summer into fall and fall into winter.

Time

Verb

1. The assembly of a plan or schedule for when a specific act should happen.

2. The act of determining the period length which the process or activity should take to complete.

Time

Unlisted

1. The remedy that allows all wounds from the past to heal.

Time. What is the time?

"Oh shit," Rey moaned in protest, seeing the numbers on her phone's screen that reminded her that her meeting with Leia began ten minutes ago. Paying no mind to the various colors of dried oil paints smudged on the pads of her fingers, she quickly typed out a text message, hoping that Leia didn't think Rey was scrapping their late morning coffee date.

– Rey 12:10 P.M. –

So sorry! Running late

Coffee at Starbucks still a go?

Not more than a minute passed when Rey received a message back.

– Leia 12:11 P.M. –

Still a go, coffees are in hand

But I do believe my punctuality is rubbing off on you

"Indeed," Rey snorted, hurrying to the bathroom in the art shop's stockroom to wash the paint smothering her brush and speckled over her hands.

How did she forget an outing that had become a weekly routine with Leia since –?

Well, the thought immediately died on the spot. Rey didn't need to finish the question. She knew exactly why she'd chosen to forget that day in particular, and it was because of that day Rey was forced to face the fact that she might've been able to change the outcome if she hadn't choked on her words. But with the damage already done, would it have mattered if she would've told Ben that she loved him? Would he have stayed here – with her – in Boulder if she had?

Because – fuck! She missed him like hell every single day.

What made the inner turmoil worse was the fact that Finn and Hux never seemed to care (or act surprised) after Rey finally admitted to having genuine feelings for Ben. So many questions in regards to 'what if' would creep their way into her thoughts from time to time. But since that day, these ritual brunch dates with Leia continuously played an impact on Rey's journey to emotional recovery.

Throughout the course of a few months where summer gradually changed into winter, Rey had come to rediscover who she was and what she wanted to do with this new grasp on life. She had friends who she loved and adored. She had a passion for a hobby that she had virtually left abandoned for quite some time; which led to the next course of action of starting the painting she'd promised to Ben that afternoon of their rendezvous with nature.

And, above all else, Rey wanted to have a future with Ben – one that she hoped wouldn't be too late to obtain after the painting for him was finished.

Whenever that day was exactly, she wasn't certain. Not yet, at least…

Pushing all negative aspects of the future aside, Rey firmly tapped the paint brush over the sink's edge before setting it aside to air dry for the afternoon. She killed the lights using the stockroom's master switch, pulling on her navy-blue parka with a soot-colored, slouchy hat and satchel. For as long as she'd lived in Boulder, facing the cold was like being forced to climb the great summits of Mount Denali or Foraker at times.

Thankfully, the walk to Starbucks from her shop was close enough to endure the below freezing temperature of Colorado's brutal winter that year. As much as Rey despised the feeling of her nose running continuously, and her cheeks feeling like they'd been coated with liquid nitrogen the vicinity of her shop's location on Pearl Street was peaceful. The fresh layer of snow carpeting the road's brick paving was unscathed of any interaction from pedestrians, considering not many people rushed to walk an outdoor mall when it was expected to reach a high of -20 degrees Fahrenheit that day.

For what felt like a solid 10 minutes after closing the shop, the sound of her boots scuffing over the brick pavement from dragging her soles along in quick strides was all Rey could hear while walking the few blocks to the café. Having the faux fur-lining of her parka's hood pulled over her beanie with hands fisted deep inside its pockets, all she could focus on was not freezing into statue form before reaching the proverbial song of society coming from the isle of restaurants and cafes straight ahead.

Rey heaved a sigh upon reaching Starbucks' interior, acknowledging the relief of her cheeks no longer feeling like they were engulfed in flames even though they were a blazing shade of red no thanks to the cold. The bitter sweet blend of coffee and lattes mixed with tea and pastries filled her nose, breathing in the compelling aroma with a deep sniff.

She saw Leia occupying one of the over-stuffed chairs next to a window, nose buried in the most recent copy of Time magazine, as always. For once, Rey was content not sitting out on the café's patio even though it was heated.

"I'm so sorry!" Rey apologized, offering Leia a sheepish look as she shrugged the parka from her shoulders. "Time got away from me this morning."

Leia looked up through the rims of her glasses, aiming her attention to Rey instead of the unforeseen article she'd be caught up in. "Quite alright, my dear," Leia said, smiling. She closed the magazine, tossing it haphazardly onto the egg-shaped table's top. "I got you gingerbread this time, if that's okay?

Rey sighed, already able to taste the hot liquid content in the venti cup that Leia had placed on the table in front of the other overstuffed chair across from hers. "That's perfect," she replied, parking herself into the designated seat with a heavy slump. "Thank you."

Leia hummed, nodding to her appreciation. "Busy morning?" She asked, bringing the cup of chai to her lips for a sip that had been abandoned for a short time on the table while reading.

"Not really," Rey admitted, scrunching her nose. "But painting helps slow mornings like today go faster, at least."

"Of course, it would," Leia affirmed, resting an elbow on her knee with the cup in hand. "Working on your project again?" Rey nodded, prompting a knowing smile from Leia. "How's it coming along?"

Rey scoffed, the blatant expression of a grimace smearing her face whilst taking a sip from her latte before answering. "It's a work in progress – challenging, even. I'm afraid I spend more time fretting over every little thing than I do getting anything accomplished on it," she admitted, snorting wryly.

"I'm sure it'll turn out beautifully, Rey," Leia reassured, cocking her head. "Your painting has always been exquisite based on what I've been able to see of it."

Rey smiled appreciatively, taking a breath. "Thank you. This is just – I don't know," she sighed. "I just want it to be perfect, you know? It has to be."

Leia considered her for a moment, giving Rey a long look. "It will be. I'm sure of that," she promised. "Have you set a date for the big day, yet?"

Rey worried her bottom lip, face appearing troubled. "Not yet," she replied tentatively. "I'm afraid it would add more pressure than I already have if I were to make anything concrete at the moment." She swallowed heavily, frowning at the queasiness settling in her gut. "What if there's already someone else?"

Leia pressed her lips, arching a brow. "Rey, would I continue to encourage you through this if it was all for nothing?"

Rey shook her head, trying push aside the unwarranted thoughts aside. She knew Leia would never intentionally lead her on, thinking that Rey was getting her hopes up for nothing. But still, she was only human and the thoughts liked to pop in periodically out of momentary doubt. "No, I suppose not. Have you talked to him recently?"

Leia nodded, being her temporary reply while she took a sip of chai. "Yes, I did. It was only brief the other day."

Rey nodded, looking down at the cup her hands were cradling for warmth. "How is he?" She asked, concern etching through the crease between her brows.

Leia smiled, reassuring her worry. "He's doing alright. But Rey," she continued through a sigh, "have you considered talking to him yourself?"

Rey nodded, again. She pressed her lips together, wetting them with her tongue whilst scrutinizing the title of the magazine Leia had been reading when she arrived. She had lost count of how many times she'd let her thumb hover over the 'send' button: before and after deleting other numerous text messages that had been left unsent after sneaking Ben's number from Hux's phone.

"The thought has come up a few times, yes," Rey admitted, frowning. "I think this is something that I have to do in person."

"I understand," Leia agreed. "You've been doing very well for yourself, Rey. And I'm proud of you for how far you've come. You look good. You look happier."

Rey offered a lighthearted smile, nodding. "I spent so long trying not to be happy. It just felt – wrong?" She admitted, sighing. "And in return, I hurt him."

"You can't blame this all on you," Leia stated, "and for that you're going to have to decide when you're willing to forgive yourself. Otherwise, it'll just keep eating at you and you won't ever be happy. But I remember telling Ben when he first mentioned that he was staying with you guys that he needed to be careful."

Rey blinked, scoffing. "Why? Did he say something back then?"

"No," Leia countered, shrugging slightly. "His face said it all. That son of mine has always been one that wears his heart on his sleeve."

"But I should've told him, Leia," Rey affirmed, her voice solemn. "I can't stop thinking about it. I hurt him so much. He didn't deserve it."

"Rey," Leia started, giving her a firm look. "You lost Poe, found out that he had a kid with someone else and was hiding money from you. That was far from being the right time to fall in love with someone – let alone admit it to anyone else. You were never given that time to properly grieve. Ben should've known better – you both should have."

Rey drew in a breath, sighing as she nodded. She felt like she was always nodding, considering this had to be the umpteenth time Leia had to comfort Rey of the situation that continuously haunted her thoughts. Only this time Rey knew Leia was right. It was just a matter of how and when Rey would be able to make it right.

"Anyways," Leia started, breaking the moment of silence, "are you working the rest of the afternoon?"

Rey moaned an indiscernible 'no' after bringing the cup of caffeine to her lips, feeling grateful for the sudden change in topic. "No," she confirmed shortly. "I promised Rose that I would go with her to the meeting with Maz today. She's supposed to find out the results from Bee-Bee's paternity test."

"Oh! Well, I do hope it goes well for her. I haven't met Rose personally, but considering what I've heard from you and Finn she seems like a very sweet person."

"She is," Rey agreed, snorting. "It is ironic though, isn't it? To have Rose as a friend, I mean."

Leia considered her, smiling knowingly. "There's always a reason for everything, Rey. We may never know the full truth why some people come into our lives, but they always do for reasons that we need."

Rey narrowed her eyes, thinking back to the first brunch outing with Leia shortly after Poe's death. "Do you remember the first bit of advice that you gave me when I asked you about moving on?"

Leia's cocked her head, "Just a little bit. Why do you ask?"

Rey pondered for a moment, lips slightly agape when a smile tugged their corners up. "You told me that moving on was a matter of carrying a part of the person you loved and lost into the next chapter of your life," she explained. "I didn't understand it then, but I do now. Ben was our common denominator, so to speak. Poe could always be himself when he was with Ben – and so could I."

Now was the time in Rey's life where she should've been used to being put into awkward situations. However nothing could've rendered in comparison to sitting in Maz's tiny consultation room, which seemed smaller in square footage when she was forced to sit between Shara and Rose. Rey kept her back straight against the office chair's padded backing, holding her breath in hopes that she could feel somewhat invisible and not provoke Shara.

The last time Rey had spoken to Shara was the day when the ex 'would have been mother-in-law' asked for the engagement ring back. The only way she knew about Shara making an appearance was due to Maz informing Rose of Shara's request to meet at the office for the revelation, regarding Bee-Bee's DNA test results.

Rey and Rose sighed simultaneously, feeling relieved when Maz finally decided to make her appearance and break the prolonged silence. Rey was certain she might've heard the sound of a mouse squeak behind the drywall at some point before then.

Maz greeted them immediately, wearing the same warm and friendly face Rey remembered from having the woman assist with Poe's finances. Then, Maz's face immediately grew serious, eyes flickering between Rose and Shara.

"Ladies," Maz started in a voice that sounded too ominous for comfort, "the child is not his."

Rey blinked, feeling certain that there had been somewhat of a ripple effect as she saw Rose cup a hand over her mouth from her peripheral.

"Excuse me?" Rose asked in disbelief.

Maz looked to Rose, shrugging. "I'm afraid the DNA wasn't a match, Miss Tico. There is no possible way that Mr. Dameron could've fathered the child."

Shara never hesitated to second guess the results, casting a sidewise glance to Rose before rising from her seat. "Thank you, Maz," she affirmed, nodding curtly before leaving without expressing another word. Oddly enough, if Rey hadn't been so taken aback by the surprise disclosure she would've noticed the hint of disappointment in Shara's voice.

Rey took a breath, allowing Maz's words to sink that left her emotions staggering between shock and – not relief. If this information had been before the time Rey began drawing close to Rose as a friend, or falling for Ben in between, she might've felt reprieved to hear that her fiancé no longer held a child to his name. Instead, Rey was essentially heartbroken for the woman sitting in stone-cold silence next to her.

"Do you ladies have any questions?" Maz asked, arching her brows to both.

Rose slowly shook her head, being the first time that she showed any sign of life since the information came out. "No," she affirmed softly, swallowing thickly.

Maz nodded, giving Rey and Rose a kind smile. "Take your time ladies," the woman encouraged. "You can show yourselves out when you're ready."

Rey nodded, acknowledging Maz with a weak smile before looking to Rose, empathy lying heavily behind her eyes.

Rose drew in a shuddered breath, eyes fixed on the empty space where Maz had been standing earlier. "There's no way," she uttered slowly, stunned. Her brows creased to the center of her forehead, blinking rapidly. "There was only Poe."

Rey frowned, pressing her lips. "Rose," she addressed calmly, "are you sure?"

Rose remained silent for a long moment. Then, a look of realization spread across her features, replacing the once solemn look as she turned to Rey. "No," she admitted, frowning. "There was Cassian. We met a week after Poe had left. He was really nice and I didn't think that Poe would come back."

Rey nodded, reassuring Rose that she understood before insisting that they leave. Rose remained silent, nearly the entire ride home from Maz's before exerting any signs of emotion beyond the initial look of shock. Rey could hear the sorrow in Rose's voice without having to peel her attention from beyond the window above her Suburban's dashboard.

"Rey," Rose started, apprehensive. "I am – so, so sorry for everything."

Rey took a breath, casting a quick look to her friend. "Please, don't be sorry. I think it's safe to say that we're all guilty of holding our own fair share of mistakes through this mess."

Rose looked at Rey, rubbing a palm over her eyes to dry the condensation pooling at the bottoms of them. "No, it's not okay," she admitted assertively, sniffing. "You could've gone on loving and missing him without having to worry about this bullshit that I brought into your life."

Rey shook her head, grimacing. "Him?" She asked, heavily enunciating the word. "Rose, I never knew who 'he' was for the entire six years that we dated. I was going to marry a stranger."

Rose scoffed, turning her head to study her hands fumbling together in her lap. "Because of me."

"That's not entirely true," Rey admitted. "This could've been handled a lot earlier at one point."

Rose diverted her attention back to Rey, arching a brow quizzically. "How so?"

Rey swallowed heavily, giving the windshield a pained look whilst recalling a memory: one that had been precisely four years ago. "Poe and I were coming home from dinner one night," she explained, snorting through tears she had no idea how they came to appear. "And he turned to me and said that he had something to tell me. I asked him if it would make me happy – or sad. He said the latter. So, I told him please – don't tell me."

Rose blinked, again. "Why didn't you let him tell you?"

Rey shrugged, sniffing. "I was naïve to believe that if he didn't tell me, everything would be okay. But I was only forcing myself to live in a bubble. I never thought it would eventually come down to all of this."

Rose pressed her lips, rolling them in thought. "Rey," she began cautiously, "if Poe would've been alive today – and you knew what you know right now – would you have still held back with Ben?"

Rey didn't need to think over the answer, she already knew. "No, I probably would've fallen for him harder."