Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

Halcyon Days

As the days lengthened and grew noticeably warmer, the general mood around the Guild lightened too. Although the novices were getting ever closer to their end of year examinations, they all seemed to be more carefree than during the dark days of winter. For Neris, the warmer weather provided more opportunities to be outside where the growing perfume of the spring flowers made eating a mid-day meal a real pleasure. At least she had that, if little else, as she still didn't see much of Akkarin, and this was an increasingly dark spot in otherwise pleasant days.

Lorlen, true to his word, had met up with her several times in Imardin and later walked back to the Guild with her. They had wandered round the market and he bought her a few inexpensive gifts and treated her to more of the delicious cakes. She had so far refused his invitations to more intimate meetings, but had not yet been able to convince him that her feelings were unlikely to change. She made a point of telling Akkarin about these meetings just in case he found them walking along together, something she couldn't face again.

Akkarin had looked at her a little strangely, "Lorlen seems very fond of you," he said quietly, "He's never shown much interest in visiting Imardin in the past, yet now it seems he can't keep away from the place."

She gave a little laugh, "Well, you know what Lorlen's like, he wants to be everyone's friend and I suppose servants have so little time, a walk into the town on Freeday is the only option."

She glanced quickly at Akkarin's face, but as usual, it was expressionless. She had never learned how to read him, so she was always a little uncertain of his feelings. At first, this had added spice to the mystery and made their growing relationship exciting, but now, she wished he were more open at times. She wondered if he were still jealous of Lorlen's attentions to her, but resigned herself to never being sure.

"I see," was all he said and turned away to collect his box.

"Will I see you later?" she asked.

"I'm very busy," he said, then noticing her wistful expression, he put down the box and pulled her into his arms.

"I'll try to come to the potting shed at mid-day, so will you wait for me?"

"Of course," she said, trying and failing to keep the eagerness out of her voice, "I'll always wait for you."

But, she remembered, that was one of the days when Akkarin did not keep his promise. She stayed in the old potting shed as long as she dared, hoping against hope that he would come, even if it were only for a few minutes, but he didn't. The long wait made her almost late back to the Novices' Quarters, so she was out-of-breath by the time she got to the servants' room. She rushed in, ready to grab her cleaning equipment and was very surprised to find Mistress Mina inside, sitting at the table, talking to some of the others. The conversation died, as the Housekeeper looked up at her.

"Ah, Neris," she said, "I was just asking where you were."

"I've been outside, Mistress Mina," she said unnecessarily.

"Quite." Mistress Mina stared at her for a moment, then went on, "I wish to check your novices' rooms."

Neris showed her the rooms, her nervousness increasing as the Housekeeper made a thorough examination of all the nooks and crannies and the various books and possessions scattered around. To Neris, it seemed as if Mistress Mina was hoping to find something lacking in the way she carried out her work, but if she was disappointed that there was nothing she could criticise, Mistress Mina didn't show it.

"Well done, Neris," she said at the end. "You are a very thorough servant and I am pleased with your work."

Neris let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding as she watched the Housekeeper stride off down the corridor. It had been a very close thing that she'd arrived on time. She could imagine what would have happened if she'd been late. More latrine cleaning! she thought with a shudder. Although it was unpleasant work, it was more the humiliation of punishment that Neris dreaded. But at least, this time, she had avoided that.

Later, Akkarin presented her with a small lace kerchief by way of an apology, which she folded carefully and kept with the carved box. She treasured everything he gave her, even keeping some of the tiny scraps of paper with his cryptic messages and she often sat in her room, with the things spread around her as she relived their time together. One of her favourite pastimes was to keep count of the times they met, the moments for kisses, the opportunities for lovemaking, each one seared on her memory, as if she were storing up a treasure trove of memories for the future.

Neris had found that more time she spent with Akkarin, the more she needed to be with him. It made her smile to think of the early days of their relationship, when she had told herself that simply seeing him would be enough. Now, she knew it was not. She needed him in the same way a sick person needed his healing potions. The first time she had realised this, she had felt a deep sense of embarrassment. She had always been the practical one, brought up with a strong emphasis on duty and doing things right. Daydreaming had never been part of her life, but now she found herself whiling away the hours dreaming of a tall young man with an enigmatic face and elegant, tender hands who gifted her with such passionate kisses. Several times she caught herself looking out of the window of his room, trying to see if he was in the crowd of novices walking back to their quarters at meal times. Sometimes she was successful in picking him out and welcomed the flood of warm feelings which filled her and the eager anticipation of his arrival which set her heart fluttering.

Yet, beneath the daydreaming and the eager feelings, Neris was increasingly unsettled. She couldn't identify the source of her worries, all she knew was a vague feeling of disaster near to hand. She tried to convince herself that it was a natural reaction to being in love with a young man from a very different background and realising the hopelessness of it all which caused the dark shadows, but her heart would not be soothed and the shadows seemed to grow larger with each passing week.

She once tried to explain her concerns to Akkarin. They were lying in each other's arms in the corner of the potting shed after a session of particularly urgent lovemaking. They had not seen each other for several days and their desires had led to a fierce joining which left them both breathless. Akkarin listened to her stumbling efforts to explain and then brushed them aside, telling her that he would take care of her.

"There's no need for you to worry about anything while I'm here to look after you," he said, sounding supremely confident, with just the hint of a swagger in his voice.

And, because she had grown up in the Guild, knowing that magicians were all-powerful and held the fate of nations in their hands, she believed him and was reassured. But later, in the middle of another sleepless night, her fears returned and she knew deep down inside that nothing he could ever say would really change the way she felt. She made a silent vow that from now on, she would keep her fears to herself and live for the moment, locking every thought about the future ruthlessly away.

The days which followed were full of happiness for Neris. The Prince was travelling again, so it meant that Akkarin had a few more Freedays where his time was his own. The lovers made full use of them, leaving as early as possible for the forest and returning just before dusk. The long, lazy afternoons were filled with love and laughter. If Lorlen noticed Neris no longer went to Imardin, he didn't mention it. His days were filled with studying as he spent most of his spare time in the Library, trying to ensure he would be accepted as a Healer.

It seemed to Neris that she and Akkarin existed in a magic bubble, where no one could touch them and where they could simply relax and enjoy each other. The blow, when it fell, therefore was all the more shocking.