I port off to a nearby empty spot, to sit on a bench in the park. The temperature here in Australia is quite nice and warm, but my costume seems to be handling the heat well so far. It's bright and sunny out, but it feels wrong. Maybe because it was evening back home? It was cold, soggy, and dark just a few minutes ago, so the change might be messing with me. Or maybe it is because this city is being attacked by the Simurgh?

I try to block out all the other distractions, the multitude of capes moving around purposefully, the flowers and green grass, insects buzzing about. I focus on the armband. It's harder than normal to focus, it's been a long day and there is just so much to see.

A dizzying array of strange costumes and powers swirl around me. But eventually I give my head a shake and drag my eyes away from the crowd. No more putting this off Taylor! I tell myself sternly. You are going to do this!

I see a flat square screen that is displaying a satellite map of the surrounding park and some of the city. There are two buttons, the left one labeled 'communicate', the other 'alert ping'. There are words under the map, 'State Name' it tells me.

I press the communicate button, "Messenger." I tell it hesitantly, it feels just as weird as talking to an answering machine. Makes you want to keep talking for no reason.

My name appears on the display, with a yes and no display in the corners over the respective buttons. I confirm it. A timer appears next. One global one counting down from 12:42 minutes, probably for how much time we had till civilians were screwed, and one other set at 3:00 minutes but not moving down yet.

'Verbal global announcements? Y/N?' comes next. Since I don't want to have my armband being loud when I might be trying to hide, I choose N with the right button.

A new message shows up. 'Role?' It asks me. This time the left button looks like it chooses, and the other one scrolls through the options. I go past 'Fight', 'Rescue', 'Shield', and find 'Evacuate'.

Then when nothing else happened, I press the communicate button again. "Where do I drop off rescued civilians?" I ask, hoping this is how it is supposed to work. I think perhaps the guy handing out armbands was supposed to explain things to me, but forgot in the rush. Or maybe I was supposed to have been told this by Purity and Panacea?

I'd rather try figuring it out on my own than ask another cape for help, they all seem so busy, I'm going to get less than three minutes to save people, and since there is lots of time left till the civilian deadline, I can afford to spend a minute to figure things out.

It's probably a good thing I have so little time to act in, I'm pretty tired from all the filming and fighting with Uber. Really was not expecting to fight an Endbringer at the end of the day! I don't think I have much teleportation left in me, so I better make it count. I have to be smart about this, and the worst part is I can't even cascade-think without wasting my limited energy.

The armband responds by showing a little green dot of light in a few nearby buildings. I assume these must be places I can drop off civilians. I'm about to head out, but I re-think that. A better way to do it would be to see if the armband can also mark the schools in the city for me. That way I don't have to waste time looking for kids to save. If it was later in the day I'd have to look for daycare's instead, but I doubt it's even noon yet judging by the sun. Luckily it's Thursday, so school should be in session today.

Hmm, so most schools will be evacuating by bus I imagine, but I just bet that some of them will find their buses not working, or smashed by debris from fighting. Especially close to the center of the fight. Best to focus on there first, since the places on the edge of the city will probably make it out fine. I press the button again, "Can you also mark the locations of schools near the fighting?"

The map expands, zooming out to show more of the city, a few more dots lighting up near the center in blueish purple. There is also one bigger red dot that is moving around, sometimes it disappears, to reappear in another nearby spot. The Simurgh... It must be her. I shiver despite the heat.

Ok, I'll port there as fast as I can, I'll use the main roads for line of sight. Now is not the time to be experimenting with my new wing-cape, so I'll avoid going airborne for now. And... an idea strikes me. I'll go to a drop off point, at the same time!

I've done it before, for short periods of time in tests, and it will help speed up the rescuing. The best part is that it will keep me safe, in case I accidentally get too close to the Simurgh. I would normally say that I can't pay attention to the bracer constantly, but then I realize that I can. Hah! Ok, so maybe my power isn't crappy after all. I take back all the mean things I've thought about it.

I grin to myself and cascade out two selves, each going in a different direction. One heads to a drop-off point, the other to the center of Canberra. Each me looks for a new point to port to, then sends out a self. Then as that one gets it's bearings, the older me dissolves so that a new self can be made. I might have a limit of four when not in a fight, but that's enough to split off into two directions at once, leapfrog style.

I quickly reach one of the nearby drop-off points, and find a good hiding spot that is difficult for any airborne or ground based cape to spot. Don't want to give away my self secret just yet!

Sure, with the sheer number of capes here, some will notice me with their powers, but they probably won't care or really think anything of it. They might think it's odd to be hiding in the safe staging area, but I have a good excuse ready for why I'm doing it. I designate that self as 'Prime', and spend my time with that self staring intently at my bracer while hiding in a clump of thick and thorny decorative bushes just outside a hospital. I track the movements of the Simurgh, wondering what she is doing with every movement, and with every gap when the bracer is not sure where she is.

My porting selves keep going along the main streets, past the stream of people driving, biking, and running away from the city center. Since I'm keeping the other self as the 'Prime' me, these selves will have limited time to act. I'll have to be careful not to waste any time.

At some point early on, I start to hear a screaming. At first I think it might be someone nearby that needs help, but I quickly realize that it's a low noise in the back of my head. The famous scream that drives people insane. It won't stop, and every time I pay attention to it, it gets worse. I try not to focus on it, to look at my armband with that self free from the influence, but it only helps a bit. Each time I have two selves existing at the same time within the screams area, it gets worse, way worse.

I start to come to dread the moments that I'm overlapping selves. I had thought that once I had a stable self ready by the drop-off area I could go up to three to rescue kids, but now that I hear the scream get worse every time I send another self forward? No way.

I'm keeping it as minimal as possible. I'm tired, scared, and I want to have as little to do with the terrifying monster attacking this city as possible.

I come up to the first school near the center and note that that Simurgh seems to be some distance away. I don't waste time, I am already down to 2:38 left on my timer. I see no cars left in the back parking lot save for one crushed by a chunk of building. It seems to have come out of nowhere, as the area looks relatively undamaged. I check by sending out a quick self, but there is only one dead teacher inside, no-one alive to rescue. No buses here, so hopefully everyone has already left.

I call out loudly at the top of my lungs, "Anyone here? Anyone need help getting away?" Then I send in another self to quickly run inside as I port to the front of the school. After a full eight seconds of searching, I find only one person. Some unconscious skinny guy with long greasy hair is trapped in another crushed car on the other side of the building.

I normally wouldn't have a chance of being able to move him, but it looks like one of his arms is missing, so there's a small chance I can get him out. He's bleeding heavily, but I reach in, manage to touch his arm, and get him out of there with a quick teleport. The guy still trapped in the car jerks awake, and starts to scream, probably from the pain. Oops, I guess touching him made him wake up again, losing an arm and all that blood must hurt. At least it worked.

The new self with the rescued guy was sent out to the hospital, using the line of sight from the me hiding in the bushes. We both appear right next to some ready paramedics with gurney, waiting for flying capes and teleporters to drop people off. I'll have to keep this self as the new Prime, or else the guy will still be trapped in the car. I can still see him there screaming, with the self still in front of the school.

As the old Prime is melting away, my new Prime notices that the guy I rescued is screaming just as badly as the trapped one, but it stops as soon as the school self leapfrogs away towards the next closest school and the guy in the car melts to ash. Then he slumps back into unconsciousness and I stand back to let the medical professionals take over the badly bleeding teenager. Huh, he's also missing most of his leg, ouch. That poor guy got really mangled.

I nod at the medics and port back to the hollow I was hiding in behind the bushes, now that the teen is safely not entangled with me. I once lost a hat playing around with this splitting trick. If I ever managed to lose a person? That would be as bad as killing them.

I shudder at the thought.

I'm approaching another school, this one is much closer to the fighting and has a playground outside in an attached park. Keeping an eye on the armband, it seems like there are a few blocks between this school and the Simurgh. Risky, but doable.

Lots of damage here, rubble, broken buildings, crushed and mangled cars. Not a single intact car actually. I can also see some buses ripped to shreds in the parking lot. Some capes appear, flying towards the Simurgh's location and firing blasts of light in many colours. I can see a few dead capes on the ground nearby, one in a pile of cars that seem to have been growing together into something before the cape tore it apart and died.

I check bodies near me with a quick cascade burst, but accidentally start to pay attention to the screaming as I do so. It's much louder now, but I try not to focus on it and successfully get distracted by how the armband counts down much faster when there are more of me. No-one alive that I can find, the area nearby is pretty deserted so I focus on the school.

Going inside, I see brightly painted walls with murals done in a childish style covering the walls. Lockers and doors are the only thing that interrupts the bright colours. Fuck, looks like really little ones go to this school. Judging by the buses outside, unless they managed to pack most of them away in cars, some kids will still be here. It would be impossible for parents to make their way against the flow of traffic, get here, and rescue their kids.

I check the classrooms fast, but eventually find them all in the gym. There's a handful of teachers and two dozen kids. They seemed to be organizing something, calming the kids down, and probably getting ready to take them all out of here on foot, but at the sight of me, they quickly stop what they are doing.

"Right, I don't have much time, so listen up." I practically shout at them as I port in closer. "I can take the little ones away from here, to a safe spot outside the attacked area, but I can't take adults. You guys will have to find another way out of the area, sorry."

I reach out and grab two kids by the arms, and port them to the hospital, repeating what I did for the mangled teenager. The instant that there is double the number of little kids in existence, the four kids start to scream and wail. Well, that's not good. I really, really hope that they aren't in pain, but at least I'm dropping them off at a hospital? It's the only thing that lets me keep using my power on kids who scream as soon as they get duplicated. What the heck is going on?

The adults are alarmed of course as soon as the kids scream. "What are you doing to them! Get away!"
"Hey, why can't you take us, we deserve a rescue too!"
"Stop hurting them!"
"I don't understand, who are you, what's going on?"

As the kids are safe in the hands of the medics, I warn them, "Got a whole class full of kids, stand by for more of em. None seem to be hurt, but they freak out when teleported, I don't know if it's hurting them or not, sorry."

I make a new self in the gym, melting the other one and dissolving the duplicate kids. The kids in the hospital calm down a bit, but one still keeps crying loudly despite the medics efforts.

The adults seem a bit calmer as the kids disappear, oddly enough. Probably because the crying stopped, and they can at least see that the kids are gone now, presumably safe.

"I can take only two at a time if they are little ones, one at a time for the bigger ones. I'm the Messenger, and I always deliver." I quip at them, hiding my uncertainty and fear with fake reassurance. They don't have much time to get out, so I can't panic them. I have to make them understand that I have this under control, that they have to leave now.

To the teachers, it appears that every time I teleport to a new spot in the gym, one or two of the kids I'm touching disappears. Sometimes I misjudge the combined weight of them, and end up not taking one of the kids with me. At least I can't take only half a person. Discrete objects, or nothing. To the medics, I seem to appear with kids, and then disappear, then reappear with more. Each batch upset and behaving oddly for a second or two after I drop them off.

Half the kids are gone by the time the teachers get organized again. "Go, stick together, try to find a working car. Now that I have the kids safe, you should all be able to fit into one. You have maybe ten minutes to get out, so hurry. The Simurgh is... That way."

I point to where the armband shows her, and realize that I hadn't checked it in a few seconds, what with the hospital self being busy delivering kids. It looks like the fight is headed right towards us! Shit!

I port away with two more kids to safely deliver, and keep talking with the self that's about to leapfrog again.

"The fight is headed over here, so go now. I'll get the kids out faster if I don't have to explain things to you. Keep going until you can't hear the scream, then keep going for another five minutes after that to be safe."

As soon as I mention the scream I silently curse myself for being an idiot. Now I'm paying attention to it again. It's getting worse and worse, blended with the screams and crying of kids, and other hurt people arriving at the hospital. The single note has morphed into two, each sliding about each other, twisting and writhing in my head.

Disturbed on an incredible number of levels, I force myself to focus past my exhaustion, to shave down the time spent checking that each step is completed, that I don't lose any kids to nothingness, to no longer existing. I can only hope that the assessment the red-shirted guy gave me is correct, and that I'm still ok as long as my timer still has time.

The teachers are running away, but I have to go after a few kids who try to run after them. More selves is exhausting, I'm definitely approaching my limits now. I briefly wonder what I'll do if the Simurgh gets here before I get the last of the kids out. I'll be fucked probably, but I'm not abandoning these kids! I grit my teeth in determination.

Teachers are gone now, and I'm down to three kids left. They are the bigger, heftier or older ones, ones who I'll have to take on their own. I grab a really pudgy one who must weigh at least a hundred pounds, despite probably only being nine or ten years old. The other two look lighter than him, but older.

As he appears at the hospital, clutching his ears and closing his eyes in some kind of shock, I hear tearing sounds and the gym collapses. But not down on top of us, it goes upwards. The ceiling is lifted up by one corner, as gravity seems to reverse, the wave of altered reality sweeping over us. We start to fall upwards, along with everything else that isn't nailed down. "Fuck!" I shout startled, accidentally using all my selves. The medics look at me confused as they herd the kids into one area, away from the worse casualties coming in.

"Sorry, sorry, just uh, problems." I tell them distractedly. Ok, so chaos confuses me and messes with my ability to control each self independently, check. I'm not immune to that sort of thing unfortunately.

I quickly make sure to lock in the saving of the fat kid, then cascade over to one of the other kids up in the air. Luckily I don't have to be able to fly, just to see him. I grab on, suddenly spinning and dizzy as I fall into the sky, twisted around by the force of his spinning. Why is he spinning? I wonder briefly before I'm blinded by the sun as it shines right in my face, but I don't have to be able to see with that self to save the kid.

Hmm, but it will make it harder to get the other one, so I start trying to shield my eyes from the sun, blinking like mad and hoping that my eyes recover fast.

The kid is extra terrified and screaming like crazy as he appears at the hospital, and promptly vomits onto both selves. Ugh. "One more kid to go. Fuck."

I have to pry the kid off me. He clings tight, as if he will fall if he lets go. I realize that he probably still feels like he is falling from his other self. Maybe that's why they all freak out? They probably can't process both sets of sensory inputs at the same time.

My concentration is pretty shot right now, so I don't dare try to teleport away from the kid and leave him behind without making him let go first. I'd probably mess it up and take him with me, back into danger. I'm trying to maintain the balance needed to keep teleporting while exhausted, with constant creepy screaming in my head, and trying to ignore the fact that I'm covered in vomit. I can't undo that or else the kid might be erased from existence, or die. That would be bad, very bad.

Finally he is pried off, just in time for my eyes to get enough vision back that I can send out a full cascade of selves into the sky, one into the bushes, and melt the two that were about to reach expiry, then use that to make two more in the air at random locations. I have no idea if I'm still going up, down, or sideways at this point, nor where the Simurgh might be.

I realize that I've actually gotten to the point that five selves are possible. Despite the bone deep weariness that is starting to fill my mind, I use every self I can. I look around in the air, arms outstretched with half of my selves in the faint hope that some of us might be in the right orientation to slow our fall with the wing-cape.

We quickly make sense of what is going on, as these selves are not half blind from being sun dazzled. Near one self is the Simurgh. Fuck me.

She seems human, but fifteen or so feet tall, waif-thin, and unclothed. Her hair whips around her, nearly as long as she is tall and platinum-white. Then there are the wings. She has so many. Asymmetrical and illogical in their arrangement, each with pristine white feathers. The three largest wings fold around her protectively, far too large in proportion to her body, even with her height. Other wings of varying size fan out from the joints of others, from the wing tips, and from her spine. Some seemed to be positioned to give the illusion of modesty, angled around her chest and pelvis.

Every movement she makes is deliberate, precise, and laden with meaning.

Each of her wings unfurls lightening quick as she stretches them out to their limits, ignoring the gravitational effects flinging stuff around. The tip of the largest wing rakes through a flying cape wearing orange that has gotten too close, then another one lances through the me closest to her. It went perfectly through the head, killing me instantly and suddenly adding in a new dimension to the fight. The death echo. I didn't normally get it, even when fighting Uber, but she was able to effortlessly kill me, just like that.

My awareness of everything increases, I finally spot the last kid, and I easily replace the self that had died with one that grabs the kid firmly with a death grip, still plunging into the sky upwards. It seems like this entire area is under the anti-gravity effect, and I can see it's edges growing.

It looks like it's centered on some nearby buildings, and is growing every second. Zen-like, my selves process everything, emotion easily pushed aside by the death echo, to analyze, think, and act. I see objects fly up into the air, sometimes curving a bit as the gravity wave reaches loose bits of rock, rubble, and discarded junk.

I clearly make out her face. Her features are delicate, with high cheekbones. Her eyes grey from corner to corner. And cold. There was nothing I could point to, no particular feature or quality that could help me explain why or how, but seeing her face made it harder to ascribe any kind of human quality to her. I could see why most capes talked about the Simurgh not as a she, but an it. 'It' was much more appropriate. Another self melts to make room for a new self, as I send the last kid on to the hospital.

The increased awareness brings to my attention that the screaming in my head is louder now. There was a new undercurrent to it, a thread that seemed to point to the sound taking shape, altering subtly in pitch. What had been two warped notes was now shifting between three. And what's worse? It echoed. It burrowed. It sawed at my mind. I see that a cape wearing black below me is cut horizontally in half by a wing, he is still struggling, still throwing strange shadowy darts at the Simurgh. I consider trying to save him next. He might be light enough now for me to teleport with. Panacea is at the hospital, he might survive and even get his lower body back.

The meditative effect that I get from truly dying means I can no longer ignore the screaming in my head. I have to pay attention to it, to everything. Awareness unfolds like a poisonous flower. I panic. I deliberately chose to abandon the cape in black, to give in to my exhaustion and stop.

I abandon the selves that were in the air and leave behind the cape cut in half. Melting down to my safe self, the one newly made at the hospital with the last kid. The kid seems to have made it safely, and I lose the ability to hold the balance, to ride the wave. The sudden quiet makes me realize that there is no more scream in my head, I finally relax.

Safe.

I look down at my armband. 0:17 blinks up at me. I feel cold, a bucket of ice water dumped down my spine. That... that bitch! She... no, it, meant for that to happen. It killed that self, just to be able to corrupt me faster, make me more aware of the scream. Then tempted me with that cape, trying to get me to save him.

Having so many selves, so close to her, it must have eaten up all the time I had left. It had been less than a minute of actually trying to save people, but because I got so close to the center, to where the scream is the most powerful, it took more time away with every passing second. If it was not for the Zen state, I'd vomit right now. Seconds from death.

I look at the kid, clinging to me, shivering, and I smile grimly. I won, I saved some of them, I didn't die.

I ignore the faint guilt at leaving behind that last cape. He's probably dead by now, but it's not my fault. I never had the time to save him anyways.

I carefully pry the kid off me, and apologize to the medics, "Sorry, had a close call with the Simurgh. I can't go back out there for more people, no time left. This was the last kid at that school anyways."

I gesture limply with the arm that has the armband. I feel like I'm letting people down, even if I almost died. Like nothing matters. I barely had any time out there, barely saved anyone. I don't think I can port anymore, not for at least an hour or two. That last burst was it. I don't even know how I'll get home.

"I have no idea what to do now." I think this to myself, then realize that I actually said it out loud.

One gruff man whose arms are covered in blood halfway to his elbows looks hard at me, "If you still want to help mate, ya can. We could use someone to fetch stuff, help move bodies, heck, even some coffee and a washcloth would be nice. This is gonna to be a long day, so if ya ain't going nowhere, stick around and play gopher."

I hesitantly nod at him. "Sure. Let me just go clean this vomit off, probably don't want to touch medical stuff covered in this crud."

I look for a washroom, and try to think. It's easier with my emotions held at bay by my death echo. Twenty-five people. Mostly kids, and one teen who might or might not live. That's going to have to be enough for me. I can't save everyone, I know this logically. My head still feels raw from the Simurgh's screaming. I wonder how long the damage will take to fade away?

I don't know if I ever want to come back again, to fight the Simurgh. That was so incredibly close, and I think that if I hadn't had that backup self, safe and out of her range, then she, no it, could have just killed me. It would have easily been able to end me, and all the selves in range, in an eye-blink. I never even registered that it was attacking until I had already died.

I almost walk into the girls washroom, but remember before I turn into it, and keep walking after a brief hesitation. I'll have to use the men's, another cape could come in at any moment, so it could blow my cover if I don't.

I keep thinking about what happened, worrying it like a dog with a bone.

Because I had an escape route and was careful never to let it lapse, the Simurgh had to try to corrupt me instead. To lure me into killing myself. Heck, it probably could have killed the kids, but didn't. Just so I would stay longer. And that cape, the one cut in half. I doubt it was a coincidence, nothing around her, around it, was ever a coincidence. Sun dazzling my eyes to make me use more selves, to find the last kid? Probably deliberate.

Except of course, how many bad things happen, that we blame on it, actually are coincidences? I did escape just in time, so did it waste all that effort on twisting me, when it had to have known I'd either make it out in time, or else die to an exploding armband? Or was that what it wanted? Was scaring me enough to set something into motion?

Hmm, no, I have to stop speculating like this, I'm just going to get paranoid. I don't even know why I left in time, why I decided not to try for that poor cape. I just have to keep moving forward, do the best that I can.

I start to splash water on my costume. Luckily the vomit seems to not have soaked into the material, and washes off onto the floor easily. Of course, now I've made a mess in the bathroom, so I go looking for stuff to clean it up, along with any trail I might have left walking here.

It sucks that I'm so vulnerable to her scream, but even with less than three minutes worth of time, I can still save people. I just proved it. And I'll be more careful next time, avoid getting too close to her, and keep an eye on my timer better.

I suddenly remember the teachers, running away from the school. I hope they made it, but I doubt it. The wave of reverse gravity was spreading pretty fast. Unless some cape plucked them out of the air... But no, no point in pointless speculation.

I've located a mop and bucket, and proceed to fix my mess. Some male nurses or orderlies come in on occasion, but aside from some odd looks at the cape mopping the floor, they leave me alone. I make sure not to look as they use the urinals, and try not to blush.

The adrenaline is fading by now, I'm moving pretty sluggishly by the time I put everything away. I go to find the grizzled doctor guy.

"Huh, you were gone for a while. Ok, no touching patients, you aren't sterile. Follow me and do what I say. Let me know when ya need a break."

"Ok, got it." I respond a but dully.

I quietly follow him, letting the instructions and busywork take my mind off things. I live in the moment, focusing on the tasks at hand. I'm mostly wheeling carts of stuff from one room to another. Going to fetch boxes of vital items, or delivering trays of bloody surgical equipment to go get sterilized. I get sent around to quite a few places, helping wheel patients to surgery rooms or bodies to the morgue. At some point I realize that it's probably really late back home. The fight with the Simurgh is long over, but that hasn't stopped the flow of casualties. Special sections are set up for cape patients, but I'm not allowed to help with those ones.

I finally start to feel the need to stop a few hours later. I can't keep distracting myself like this anymore, emotions are starting to creep back in, and I'm probably tired enough to actually sleep now. Hopefully without nightmares.

I'm not an actual doctor or nurse, and now that the fight is over, more help is probably coming from nearby cities. Heck, I don't even know how the fight went. Did we win or lose? If we lost we would have had to leave right? So I'm hoping that it was a win. I decide to ask Gabe, the gruff guy I've been taking orders and instructions from the last few hours.

"I'm kinda getting tired Gabe, sorry. It's late back home. What happened out there, did we win?"

"Shit kid, you didn't hear? Naw, we lost. Some kinda Tinker experiment get set off, the entire city center is encased in some bubble of weird gravity that they can't turn off. It exploded out fast at first, but it seems to finally have slowed down and reached its limit. Good thing too, at one point we were worried we'd have to evacuate. You really were out of it huh? We've been gossiping bout it fer hours."

"I was in that gravity effect for a bit, everything was falling upwards. Almost lost the kid I was trying to rescue. I never thought that would be what she was trying to do, it happened in the first few minutes of the fight. It usually takes the Simurgh a while to do anything permanent, right? You said they can't shut it off?"

"Nope, apparently it wasn't bad at first, but then as time went on it got worse, curving in on itself and stuff, trapping people inside. Some spots get so much gravity that they are just flattened and crushed bits of land right now. They're saying that their gonna build a dome over it, to keep things out and the effect in."

"That..." I am stunned. I didn't think we'd lost. Anyone I didn't manage to save, all that time wasted at the first, mostly empty school, and now any kids still in there are probably dead, or trapped till they die. God. And here I was, just going through the motions, trying to put my head back together, pretending to help, pushing gurneys, and handing out boxes of gloves. While people out there were having their lives ruined, their city destroyed. And I was useless.

"Hey, look, I have one more job for you before you go, ok? It's fairly important too."

"Huh? Uh, sure?" I latch onto the thought. Something important to do? Anything to make me feel less like a failure.

"Ok, most doctors have been working for a while now, many already staying on well after their shifts over cus of the emergency. If we ain't gonna fall over, we need coffee, and food. I want ya to go to the big break room, here's the key. Not just anyone can go in this one, so I'm trusting ya, ok? Make up as many pots of coffee as you can, fill the top of a trolley with em. Then grab boxes of food. Fruit, donuts, whatever is there, fill the bottom of the trolley with that stuff. Go round, and hand stuff off to anyone who don't currently got a patient."

I nod, a bit disappointed that it's not sounding as critical as I hoped. But it makes sense, the ones who will make a difference now are the doctors, and we need them able to keep going.

"I need ya to start up in trauma, then down here in emergency, then hand whatever is left off to folks at random I suppose. Once you've gone through a trolley full of stuff, hopefully that will be enough to keep people from passing out. Only do one, and make sure to give stuff to the most tired looking people, alright? Don't take no for an answer. After the trolley, you go on home, ya need your rest too kid."

"Uh, ok. Got it." Coffee, fruit and doughnuts? I guess I could do it. My body was getting tired, but some dregs of my powers had recovered a bit over the last few hours, I figured I could ask around and see if I could find someone who would know how I get back home, while I handed out snacks.

Otherwise I'd ask Gabe if he knew where I could sleep, and try teleporting home around the world tomorrow.

I find Panacea in the Trauma center while I'm handing out snacks. It's amazingly heartwarming, the thanks and appreciation I'm getting for this simple little thing. These guys devour the food fast, almost inhaling it, and I start to worry that one trolley isn't gonna be enough for even a single area. At least these guys think I'm the best delivery cape in the world. Take that Sophia Hess!

Panacea is looking about as exhausted as I feel, and as soon as she is finished with her current patient, she slumps down into a nearby chair, waiting for the next badly injured person to be brought in.

I push my trolley over and ask her, "Tea or coffee? You look like you need something, and I have some snacks here too. The donuts are going fast, so if you don't grab one now, all that will be left is fruit or cookies soon."

She looks up at me startled, recognizing me after a few seconds. "Oh, you're the guy who showed up randomly. Uh, you know what I mean. You seem to have a habit of doing that huh? Messenger right? Uh, I don't know if I should be taking a break..." She looks around hesitantly.

A nearby nurse grabs a doughnut herself and huffs tiredly. "Nonsense hun, everyone else is taking a break so you might as well too. You've done more work than any ten doctors, so you deserve at least ten snacks they way I see it." She gives a tired grin and sits on the floor next to us, just folding up her legs and leaning back against the wall, eyes closed as she eats.

Panacea gives me a silly little grin, "Well, maybe not ten, but I think I'll have two. I am kinda starving, now that I think about it. Uh, what kind of tea?"

"No clue. They told me to make coffee, but I found a few tea bags in the break room too, and figured it couldn't hurt to have variety, but there was no label."

"Mystery tea then huh? Alright, mystery man, I'll take it."

I keep handing out snacks and pouring out cups of various fluids for a few minutes, till everyone in the area seems to have been fed and watered. Turning back to Panacea, I hesitate, but then decide, fuck it, I'll ask. Nothing to lose. "How do you deal with it?"

"Huh?" She looks at me puzzled, a dull, confused look from the exhaustion.

"Deal with this..." I sweep my hand around encompassing the whole trauma unit. "It's only my first Endbringer fight, and I'm already depressed, overwhelmed, second guessing myself, and feeling useless, not to mention paranoid. Despite me being able to save maybe two dozen kids from certain doom, I feel like I should have done more. And at the same time, I'm also beating myself up for not wanting to do more, for leaving right before my time ran up instead of risking everything to save just one more guy in the few seconds I had left."

Her eyes open a bit wider at my rambling confession, my plea for help, but I continue on, getting it all off my chest.

"I... I don't know if I can deal with this, but I want to keep helping. I want to get better, to learn how to handle this. I figure that since you've been doing this for a lot longer than me, that you'd know how to handle it, how to pull yourself back together after?" She just stares at me, with a funny and unreadable expression on her face for a few seconds.

Getting nervous I try to backpedal. "Uh, I'm sorry if I'm just bugging you, I'll just go if you want me to. I just thought that maybe since you were always coming out to help with things like this, that you'd have some kinda trick that you use to cope?"

The nearby nurse opens her eyes and stops trying to lean against the wall. "Well, I don't know about Panacea here, but most people in the medical profession, or in law enforcement, tend to go through the same traumas as capes, it's just usually more spread out over time. Some buggers go for the drugs route. But drugging yourself up only delays the inevitable, so I don't recommend it. Most of 'em are of course careful never to let it affect their ability to work, and I can't say I blame them for taking the easy way out. I do it myself. Having people die on you, you either learn to shrug it off, or fall apart slowly."

She glances askance at Panacea, taking a sip of her coffee. "But I highly doubt that's the therapy method that her family has picked. Even I've heard of the American New Wave and the attempt to go maskless, so I know a legit group like yours would never approve. Just don't look down on those who do need it, no-one's perfect. And no, by drugs, I don't mean just the illegal kinds. Some do em sure, but plenty of legal ones out there. Personally, every time I have a bad day at work, days like today? I go home, I get blind drunk, and I let my husband hold me as I sob myself to sleep."

She sighs, "But like I said, I don't recommend it. For you young ones, less set in your ways? A good therapist will probably help. That's what maybe a quarter of the folks I know do. With luck, you get to the point that you don't need it anymore, that you're ok. Where you can have bad days, but they aren't the kind of thing that makes you want to give up. Not everyone needs it, but it sounds like you might want one." The nurse shrugs and eats the last bit of her doughnut, licking her fingers.

"That's really all I can tell ya kid. Everything you said? It's normal. Most of us just don't like to talk about it, cus it so damn depressing. You never save enough people to feel like it mattered, you want to save more. But at the same time ya also start to resent them sometimes, resent that they need you, and sometimes you have to say no, I can't save your life ya fuckwit, I've done enough for today. Really, after a sixteen hour shift, it's a miracle some of us don't snap and start killing patients."

She starts to unfold her legs, standing back up again with a grimace of pain. "Speaking of, I'm done my break, time to go back to the grind I suppose. You kids take it easy, don't let a crusty old hag like me get you down. It's not all bad. Moments like this get you down, but there's plenty of good to make up for it. Moments it's worth the pain. I'm just sore cus we lost. Damn cunt, wrecking our city. One day she'll get what's coming to 'er."

"Well, that was interesting." I say to Panacea, eyes still on the nurse as she leaves to go scrub her hands back into sterility. "So I think I'll pass on the drugs thing, and maybe try that therapist. Sounds less... sad. Can you recommend me one?"

"Uh, sorry, I don't really go to a therapist. Although I'm starting to think that if I don't want to end up like her, maybe I should. She sounded so bitter and exhausted."

"Yeah, but to be fair, it is a really bad day for anyone who used to live in Canberra, I can't blame her. You really don't have one? Darn, oh well, I couldn't really afford one anyways, so it's not like it matters much. I'll have to save up for it, seems like it could be useful in preventing bad mental stuff."

"I find it hard to believe that you can't afford it. Even if a friend made the actual costume, the materials cost alone... Even I know that DragonHide cloth is fairly expensive. My costume is only cotton because there's 'no point in wasting money on it when I'm still growing'." She does the little air quotes and uses a voice that I suspect is mimicking her mothers, it sounds like a mom thing to say.

"New Wave is well-off, but not by that much. That's probably why no-one made me get a therapist, plus I don't know if I should get one. I don't want people to think that I'm crazy or anything, but maybe it would be nice to have someone to talk to about the stress."

"Yeah, I hear ya. Oh, but actually everything about the costume was free, even the materials, they made it themselves, sorry. But your is cotton? Really? But you're Panacea, you're special! If anyone deserves free costumes, it's you. No-one's ever gifted you anything at all?"

She sounds angry as she replies in a low hiss, "I can't accept gifts from people I've healed! It might make people think I can be bribed to heal, and I have to remain neutral. I only heal capes, and the worse cases that the doctors approve for me. There's a whole committee process, and panels to determine need, impartiality and everything. Because if I started healing for money, then it won't be as efficient, or fair. There's a lot of bad things that could happen if I did that. It would be like saying money matters, not lives!"

I raise my hands up in defense. "Ok, ok, I get it. Actually that makes a lot of sense. I'm sorry I didn't think about it before I asked that question, but you're right. Neutral, fair and impartial is the only moral way to handle it." She stops bristling and calms down. Sheesh. Note to self, Panacea might have healing powers, but she gets intense when angry. Never piss her off.

"Uh, Sorry. I-"

"Hey, hey, no need to apologize, that was my bad." I interrupt her. "Anyways, I just wanted to thank you, you know, for being nice, and listening to me be depressed, and not laughing."

"Hey, I'd never laugh about that. Sometimes I know exactly what you mean. I do come to most of the Endbringer fights after all. And trust me, the Simurgh scares me the most, and I almost never hear the scream. Can't imagine if I heard it every time." She shudders visibly at that thought.

I turn to look her directly in the eyes and confess to her in a low voice, "I don't want to ever let the Simurgh have control of me. I got really close to it today by accident. I was seventeen seconds away from running out of time and getting exploded by my armband. And it tried to tempt me into staying too long. I didn't have my eye on my armband, and there was this cape cut in half, and I might have been able to save him, to bring him here. I almost went after him. If I had, I'd be dead, or worse."

Taking a deep breath, I breath in, then out. It feels nice to confess my fears to someone, it's probably the closest I'm coming to a therapist for a while, unless I get some cash somehow. She nods at me, encouraging me to continue.

"I'm terrified that next time, it will know me better and win. I'm terrified that I'll get changed by exposure to it, because my power has some odd side effects that make me more vulnerable to the scream. I got told by the assessor guy at the booth that three minutes is my maximum limit at average exposure. Three. That's almost nothing compared to most people. It terrifies me. And today I was so close to the Simurgh that I could look into it's eyes. My time was pretty much halved by being that close to it."

"That's awful! Um, sometimes I fear what she could turn me into too. She really likes taking out the capes who try to do the most good, turning them evil. I'm glad that I'm not a combat cape, that I don't even have to get close. The sheer bravery needed to go out there, to save people, knowing that she might get you no matter what you do? I could never do that."

I shrug, "I dunno about that, you seemed pretty fierce a few seconds ago when I impugned your honor." I grin widely at her, my scarf is low enough that she can probably see part of it.

She fake gasps, "You cad! I'll impugne you!"

I can't help but laugh out loud, "I don't think that's how you use that word."

"Bah, I'll use the word however I want to. It's my word now."

"Alright, alright, but oops, uh, I just realized I still have trolley snacks to deliver before they get cold. I maybe should get going on that. Heck, I still have to figure out how to get home across an entire planet. Half the reason why I'm still here helping pass out snacks, is cus I'm stranded."

"Oh no! We never told you about how to get home did we!" She looks genuinely dismayed, so I can't get mad at her even though I am pretty tired.

"Ok, so the big teleporters, the ones who bring people into a fight, they tend to not have energy left for taking people home after fights, so Dragon does it. There's usually not enough warning to assemble her full fleet of transports for the start of a fight from all the corners of the world, but by the time its over? Yeah, there's plenty to go around."

That makes sense, Dragon is known to have a huge fleet of Tinker-Tech vehicles all around the world, ready to respond to trouble.

"You just use your communicate button to request going home, and then the armband will tell you when the next one is, and where to go. Sometimes you have to wait a few hours, as she tries to be efficient with how many people go on each one. Once you go on the aircraft, the armbands unlock. Then before you leave, you can return the armband if you want, or tell her you are keeping it so you can know about the next one. Oh and you can put a phone number in the armband so it will call you, and you don't have to keep an explosive near you all the time. I don't think many people ever carry the armband around with them outside of these fights."

Yeah, I wouldn't carry around an explosive device either. I can't imagine anyone sensible would.

"Oh, um, I guess if you wanted to leave but not by her transport, you could ask her to unlock the armband remotely, but her vehicles do it automatically so most people just go home that way unless they are a teleporter or super fast flyer."

"That seems pretty simple. I should have thought of asking the armband. It did tell me where things were during the fight when I asked. Duh." I playfully slap my forehead.

"Thanks, that solves that problem. I better go deliver these snacks. Thanks again for all your help Panacea. I appreciate it."

"Amy, call me Amy. It's not like my name is a secret anyways, and I like you 'Mystery Messenger Man'. You deliver baked goods and mystery tea, what's not to like?" She smiles playfully.

"Hahaha, well then I'll see you around Amy. If you are off soon maybe we'll get the same ship home, but I get the feeling that there's still lots of hurt people, so probably not."

"Nah, I stay long enough to fix up all the capes, and the worst normal cases, but I'd never leave if I waited for the patients to stop coming. There's usually a point where the exotic problems stop showing up, and once everything is manageable by the regular doctors, I usually call it quits, or pass out."

She makes a silly face at that, showing that she's obviously exaggerating. I'd feel awful if she ever literally passed out from overworking herself, so it's good to know she's only joking about that.

She gets more solemn and serious as she goes on to explain, "This time around it seems like there were some interesting fungus type creatures that tried to absorb people, along with some cars that merged into giant robots, probably something set in motion by the Simurgh just in case the gravity thing didn't work. So once I finish the last few fungus cases and get them free of that, I'm probably free to go home."

"Oh, huh, that would explain the people I sometimes saw in the emergency room with what looked like mold growing on them."

Crap, and I told the teachers to go find a car. I really hope they made it out and I didn't condemn them to death by transforming car. At least this explains why it looked like capes from our side had been wrecking cars.

"Yup. See ya in a while Messenger, go forth and deliver the baked goods!" She giggles at her bad joke. It's not even a proper pun! Oh well, it's late, bad jokes can be excused. I almost giggle with her before remembering that guys don't giggle. (I instead laugh loudly.)

Hmmm... I ponder this new, unexpected connection as I wheel the trolley away. She's letting me call her Amy. Does this mean I've made a new friend?

AN: Sorry for the delay in chapter. I got kinda sick for a week. Oops. Then I wanted to give a bit of love to my neglected other story, so spent a day on that. Oh well, finally back to this one. I don't think I made this chapter terrifying enough. Ugh. The Simurgh should be scarier! :(

Hope you like it anyways~

:3

(And remember, romances are not currently planned. Amy is still gaga over Glory Girl, and Taylor isn't into girls. I figure I'd write this just in case some of you insist upon seeing romance instead of an innocent silly friendship that might or might not happen.)