SUPA-LONG A/N: Why hello everyone! And welcome. My computer has finally joined me again after an extensive stay at the computer hospital. The hard drive FAILED. Thankfully they were able to save all the data. Including this chapter. . .
Summary: Some things are not always as they seem. Light is not always good and dark is not always evil. Harry finds out to he has been lied to and joins Voldemort in revealing Dumbledore's lies to world. Harry and Voldemort's goal of world domination is something they're just keeping to themselves for the moment. The world is in for a shock. TMR/HP SLASH! Boy on Boy! Don't like? Don't read, you bastards.
Disclaimer: Only the Yellowstone sweatshirt, people. Only the sweatshirt
Warnings: Mentions of abuse, self-injury, language, and violence (all non-graphic). Abuse is not acceptable in anyway, shape, or form. I'm fortunate not to have ever experienced it. Any writing about such is based purely on what I think may be possible. By the way, if you haven't noticed, this fic is rather ooc.
Notes: You're going to need these
"Speaking"
"Mental thoughts between bonds"
§Parseltongue§
Reviews:
Thank you all who take the time to review. It really makes me happy! Please keep them coming. I got more than ten reviews last chapter! That made me feel very happy! If you have questions, please just feel free to ask ^_^
Last Time:
Just one more, that's all I need.
Maybe another.
Once more.
Cut.
Everything became a bit fuzzy from there. Not from the loss of blood, because there really wasn't any. Just a few severe scratches. Safety pins can only do so much. The next thing Harry knew was a pair of arms encircling him with an aura of warmth and peace.
Tom. . .
Chapter 14: A Yellow Room
When Harry awoke it was to soft pillows amidst clean, gentle pillows. He sat up far too quickly and grimaced. That had not been a smart idea . . . Blood rushed to his head and he cradled his head for a moment, trying to regain a sense of balance. This time, he sat up slowly. Blinking, he looked around and was met with a blurry view of the world. He groaned at the inconvenience of glasses as he groped for said thrice-damned object on the nightstand adjacent to his bed. His hand met his glasses and as he slowly put them on, his fuzzy surroundings came into focus. Where was he?
The room was unfamiliar, yet not menacing or scary. Altogether, it was quite comfortable. The walls were a soft cream color as was the four-poster bed he was sitting up in. He had been placed under a comfy yellow duvet. Pale yellow curtains framed a single window next to a short bookcase. As Harry craned his neck, the Forbidden Forest loomed out in front of him from the window. So he was still at Hogwarts . . . But where? Suddenly the door opened and Harry jumped.
"Calm down, Harry," came a gentle voice. In bustled Madam Pomfrey with a tray toped with a light breakfast. Harry was tempted to groan. Damn, he was in the hospital wing, again. He ended up in here far too often each year. "How are you feeling, deary?" she asked kindly.
"Fine," mumbled Harry through a sip of tea that the nurse had handed him. Madam Pomfrey placed the rest of the breakfast tray on the bed and conjured a chair for her to sit on. As Harry reached for an orange slice, a sharp white bandage on his wrist caught his emerald eyes. Harry frowned. He remembered cutting and someone grabbing him, but it hadn't been that bad . . . Had it? It couldn't have been anything like what had happened during the summer.
Madam Pomfrey sighed, "I don't think you're fine, Harry. Last night, Professor Evans brought you to me. You had cut your wrist. It wasn't life-threatening but you still needed something tantamount to muggle stitches." Harry looked down, not wanting to meet the nurse's eyes. Why did people have to interfere? It had only been a safety pin . . Surely the damage hadn't been too bad. He didn't want to disappoint anyone, but he needed cutting.
"Harry," called Madam Pomfrey. It was the nicest tone of voice Harry had ever heard from the usually stern, stoic nurse. "Please look at me?" It was a question, not a command and Harry appreciated it. Slowly, he looked up from behind hooded eyes. "Harry, I'm not at all mad at you. I'm not disappointed in you, but I am worried about you. Does that make sense to you?" Harry nodded but looked at the nurse incredulously. "Really, Harry. No one is mad at you. Nobody is disappointed in you. Even if it's hard to believe it's true."
"Alright," said Harry in a small voice. As much as he didn't believe that the others weren't disappointed in him, he did believe Madam Pomfrey when she said people were worried about him. He smiled darkly. Dumbledore and the rest of the Order would be worried that their little hero was going to die before his time came.
"Professor Evans also said that you tried to kill yourself this summer," the nurse said sadly. This remark angered Harry.
"No! I did not try to kill myself," he said rather indignantly. What the hell was Tom thinking, going around and telling people that he was crazy? Madam Pomfrey seemed to sense his agitation.
"Shhh. . . It's alright. I believe you, Harry. What were you trying to do?"
This question clearly caught Harry off guard.
"I . . . I don't know. I just wanted the stress to leave," he said rather softly as his anger faded, "But, Madam Pomfrey, I don't want to die." The prophecy rose in Harry's mind. His destiny of being murdered or being a murderer overwhelmed him. He was already a murderer. He ha killed someone of his own family, despite the fact Vernon had been a sick bastard. "I don't want to die. I'm happy living with Tom. I'm glad that Uncle Vernon's gone despite knowing that he's probably dead. It scares me that his death doesn't faze me at all. But . . . I though he was going to kill me. I don't want to die Madam Pomfrey," he said, unwelcome tears making their way down his cheeks, "I don't want to die."
"Oh, Harry" murmured Madam Pomfrey. She couldn't take this. The pain and anguish in this teen was plain to see. For once in her life, despite all her training, she was at a loss as to what to do. The nurse did the only thing that seemed right. She hugged the sorrowed teen. Harry gasped, shocked at the physical contact. She drew back.
"I'd like for you to try and eat a bit of breakfast but, it's nearly 10:00 so I suppose it's brunch. Professor Evans said he would visit soon. Will that be alright, sweetie? I'd like to talk to both of you," Harry nodded, "Good, I'll be in my office working on student medical charts. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything." With that, the matron made her way to her office and set herself to work.
Harry could feel the spells and charms that had been placed on and around him. The power almost tingled around him and Harry could feel the tendrils of magic wrapping themselves around him. The magic was warm and cozy, reminding Harry of cinnamon and vanilla. It was . . . brown and red . . . comforting . . .securing . . .
"Searching out a magical signature, Harry?"
Harry jumped, startled. It was Tom! A happy smile creeped onto his face.
"Tom!" he said happily.
"Hey, how are you?" Tom asked gently, a smile playing at his lips at Harry's enthusiasm.
"Attempting to eat brunch," he said as he popped a strawberry into his mouth.
"Good, you need more meat on your bones."
Harry stuck his tongue out and Tom grimaced at all the strawberry bits. Harry smirked and continued munching on the strawberry.
"Madam Pomfrey's nice when she's not being stoic," remarked Harry.
"Yes, the drill-sergeant nurse does indeed have a heart."
"I heard that, Thomas!" yelled the nurse from her office. She immediately bustled over and playfully swatted Tom across the forehead.
"Now, I'd like to talk to both of you later. But am I correct in assuming you two would like to talk together privately first?" Tom nodded as the nurse left and shut the door behind her. Immediately the dark lord casted privacy charms, and several shields to guard against prying eyes and ears. Tom did all this silently and then turned back to Harry who felt very nervous all of the sudden. Trying to avoid Tom's crimson eyes, he fiddled with another strawberry, mutilating its green leaves. Tom grabbed his hand.
"The strawberry hasn't done anything to you, you know," he said softly.
"What do you really want? You obviously aren't just here to see me," mumbled Harry rather downcast all of the sudden, his previous joy at seeing Tom diminished.
Tom raised an eyebrow, "Well, what am I here for?"
"God, you sound like a fucking psychiatrist," snapped back Harry his melancholy turning to anger suddenly.
Tom looked taken aback, "That was not my intention."
"Then don't ask questions like that," mumbled Harry, slightly nervous about speaking out against Tom. The dark lord eyed him critically.
"You don't have to be nervous about speaking out against me. You are my equal. I value your opinion. Now, my dark prince, can you tell me what upset you?"
"Dumbledore," whispered Harry.
Tom seethed, "What did the bastard do now?"
Harry couldn't speak, physically or mentally. The prophecy was just too terrible to speak about. Sensing Harry's discomfort, Tom pulled him into an intimate hug. Harry invoked the bond. However, unlike ever before, he opened it to its fullest connection, breaking down any barriers between Harry and Tom. Nothing could be withheld. They were literally one and the same. Feelings, emotions, thoughts were present to both of them. The line that divided Harry and Tom seemed to have become nonexistent.
The full and entire memory of the terrible meeting in Dumbledore floated to Tom's mind. Harry gasped as the connection closed. It took a lot of effort to keep a connection of that level open. Both Harry and Tom breathed heavily, exhausted from the total connection. Neither said anything for a while, Harry content to be held as Tom processed the memory. His eyes heavy, Harry slipped in unconsciousness.
In his dream world, grey mist flew round about. A pathway appeared out of the gloom, cobblestoned and dirty. A certain type of despair seem to pervade the very air. Dark, miserable clouds swarmed about. An overwhelming feeling of sadness and desolation, a want to sleep for eternity, threatened to overtake Harry. What to do? His limbs seemed so very heavy . . . the air so very warm. . .
"Potter, you can't sleep there . . ." came voice from the distance.
"Go away . . ." grumbled Harry. Suddenly, the warmth faded and the air turned into a bitter cold. Harry shivered.
"You can rest soon but not now. You must keep going," repeated the voice harshly, "You're almost there. Just a little farther, Potter!"
Gritting his teeth, Harry placed one foot in front of the other, struggling to carry on. The gloom seemed to last forever. Finally, the mist seemed to thin and Harry saw it- a black door. He pushed against it with all of his strength and it swung open easily. Inside was a dark room. Candles flickered and rare oil paintings of past masters adorned the walls. A plush, velvet couch was in front of a slow dying hearth, the flames gone yet the embers still burning deathly hot. Exhausted, Harry fell onto the couch. This room seemed so familiar . . . It must be someone's mind, decided Harry, someone he knew. But who?
The answer became apparent as another door in the shadows creaked opened. In walked the last person Harry ever thought he would encounter in their mind. Snape. The potions master strode in, his robes billowing about. And even as Harry looked at Snape standing in the room, Harry could see how very Snape-ish the room was. Harry could barely keep his eyes open, but tried desperately to do so.
"Sleep, Potter," muttered Snape, "You are safe, now." Giving a relieved sigh, Harry fell asleep within his, or rather Snape's, mind.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
When Harry awoke this time, he was still on the couch in Snape's mind. Snape was still present, but Tom was there as well. As he sat up, a dizzy feeling ran through Harry causing him sway violently. Strong hands caught him, and Harry looked up Tom and Snape.
"Easy," said Tom gently, " Snape has a potion for you. Take it, it'll clear your mind." Harry gratefully obliged. As the potion flowed through his system, Harry could feel immediate relief as the dizzy feeling abated.
"Are we in Snape's mind?" he asked Tom. Tom sat down next to Harry and wrapped his arms around him possessively.
"Yes, Harry. But it's not his mind. Rather, it is his mindscape that we are in," asserted Tom.
"Oh, what happened? Why are we here?" Harry asked curiously.
"After you showed the memory to me, you were totally exhausted from such a total connection. Essentially, your body went into a healing coma to recharge and your soul retreated into your mindscape," stated Tom.
"But," Harry bit his lip, "I wasn't in my mindscape. I was somewhere else. It was like the path between minds. You told me that I could be lost forever if I got lost there." Tom waved his hand dismissively.
"It was of no matter. However, I was not able to reach you when you slipped into coma. It was Severus who used leglimency to successfully reach and guide you to his mindscape."
Harry still felt unsure, "What would have happened if I hadn't made it here?" It was Snape who answered.
"Your body would have slipped into a permanent coma and your soul would have wandered in that desolation forever. No one would have been able to reach you. You never would have awoken, Potter," he answered condescendingly while sneering, "Not that you aren't close to that judging by your aura and core."
"Severus!" rebuked Tom forcefully.
"Please excuse my rudeness, my lord," mumbled the potions master as he slunk into the background of the mindscape. Harry looked at Tom, a worried expression adorning his face.
"Is it really that serious?" he asked trying not show the anxiousness he felt.
"No. Its just Severus being Serverus. Cryptic and cynical as per usual," said Tom nonchalantly, obviously trying to make the whole issue blow over.
Harry eyes Tom uneasily, "If you say so . . . "
Tom sighed, "I can't hide anything from you, can I?"
"No. Why wasn't I able to go to my own mindscape?" asked Harry quite frankly, lounging against Tom's chest.
Tom pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead and answer Harry's question with one of his own, " Do you remember being in your own mindscape? What was it like?"
Harry bit his lip at the memory and snuggled closer to Tom, "Confusing, chaotic. Thoughts fly about wildly and the emotions are overwhelming. Memories are literally chained and fight to break their bonds. And so very loud. So many voices talking at once, each one trying to be louder than the last. I hate it."
Tom sighed, "That's why, Harry. That's why Severus and I are worried. Your mindscape should be a calm and peaceful place to yourself, somewhere you feel comfortable that you can take refuge in. Your mindscape is deteriorating, just like your aura and core, love."
Harry, shocked, turned around an looked Tom straight in the eyes, "Do you mean my aura and core are turning black? Doesn't that mean I'm going to die?"
Tom was hesitant to answer, "Psychological death? Yes. And that can lead to a physical death. However, it is not an absolute. If you can fix what has made your core and aura turn black, you can save yourself Harry."
Harry pursed his lips, "Can't you do it?"
Tom shook his head sadly, "No, Harry. I can help you, but you must be your own hero."
Harry was silent for a moment, "Let's get out of here. I don't want to talk about this now."
Tom merely nodded and they silently left Snape's mindscape as the potions master watched the pair from the shadows.
XOXOXOXO
Both Tom and Harry awoke at the same time.
"Stay here, Harry. I'm going to get Pomfrey. You've been out for a while."
Not even a minute later, Tom walked in with the nurse. She set about immediately checking his vitals and various other things. Slowly, she finished and sat on the sofa.
"I'll be quite frank. This is extremely difficult for me, Harry. I can take care of physical things, but you need more than I can offer. Your case is beyond my knowledge and skill level. I can treat you physical ailments, but beyond that, my skills are rudimentary at best," said Madam Pomfrey as kindly as she could. Harry looked like he was about to protest but bit his lip nervously. Tom looked towards knowingly at the nurse urging her to get Harry to speak.
"Harry, what is it?" she inquired softly, careful that her voice contained more empathy than pity, "Please tell me?" She stated her last sentence as a question rather than a command because Harry seemed to react better if he had control over a situation. Simply asking as a question, giving him a choice, gave him power. And Madam Pomfrey would do what she could to fix this poor boy.
"Am I that messed up?" Harry asked quietly. Tom was fighting off the urge to hug him tightly, the sight was that heartbreaking. Harry looked so very alone as he sat off the edge of the bed, black fringe in his eyes.
"No, no Harry. You've misunderstood me. You would benefit immensely from therapy- both physical and mental. I can handle the physical therapy. However, I have never dived extensively into the study of the human mind. Would you feel comfortable talking to someone, a mind healer, who does know how to deal with human psychology?" she asked.
Harry shifted around a bit.
"I don't know," he said hesitantly, "Would they be able to repeat or use anything I told them? Are they going to ask questions like 'and how does that make you feel?' and the such?"
The nurse shook her head, " No they take an unbreakable vow for patient confidentiality that can only be broken if the mind healer feels that the patient is a harm themselves or others, such as if they have plans for suicide or murder. And even then, they can only reveal the absolute necessities. As for questions such as the one you mentioned, that particular brand of psychology is not practiced by the mind healer I have in mind."
Tom squeezed Harry's shoulder gently, offering the teen silent reassurance. "A-alright," said Harry nervously.
Madam Pomfrey smiled, "Splendid. I'll mail the mind healer soon. Also"- Her tone became rather subdued-"I would like for you to move out of the Gryffindor dormitories for the time being. You'd have this room. However, it would be connected to Thomas' rooms and not directly to the hospital wing."
Harry stared at her, aghast, "No!"
"Shh, calm down," calmed Tom.
"No! I don't need to be babysat!" Harry argued.
Madam Pomfrey sighed, "Tom wouldn't be babysitting you. It's just that I feel that you would benefit from close contact from a family member you can trust and who cares about you."
Harry continued to stare at her, "I don't understand."
"Harry," she said, "I know your childhood was far from perfect. I don't think you ever experienced love growing up."
"So you think Tom loves me?" blurted out Harry before he could stop himself.
Madam Pomfrey shifted rather uncomfortably. "Well," she started hesitantly, "I don't know, but he seems to care about you. And so I believe you would flourish from interacting with Thomas."
Tom, who had remained silent through the whole exchange, spoke, "Harry." The raven-haired teen turned to face the dark lord. "I do care for you. You know that right?" Harry nodded. "And . . . I've said this before, love is a difficult emotion for me, but . . ." Harry looked into Tom's eyes and saw they were filled with sincerity.
"I know," said Harry softly.
"So it's settled then?" asked Madam Pomfrey, breaking the moment. Both Harry and Tom nodded. "Alright. I'll leave you to move the room Thomas." With that, she headed back to attend to her nurse duties. Quickly, Tom drew his wand and made some complicated-looking wand movements. Magic tingled in the air, embracing Harry. Harry smiled at the feeling as the magic moved the room. Tom controlled the wild tendrils of magic like a true master, directing his wand oh-so perfectly with a natural talent. Working with Hogwarts herself, Tom borrowed the power of the ancient castle to move the room to his room.
"Finished," said Tom, drops of sweat dotting his forehead, "Your room's connected to my quarters."
"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"
Tom grinned, "Your wish is my command, my dear dark prince. We'll get through this together."
Harry smiled half-heartedly, "Maybe. Let's just take this one step at a time. Starting tomorrow."
XOXOXO
Harry walked into breakfast the next morning with a fake smile plastered on his face. Hermione waved to him from the Gryffindor table and he hurried to his friends. He sat down, glad to escape the prying eyes of the student body.
"Where were you?" whispered Hermione anxiously.
"Just a check-up. Nothing major," Harry assured as he put pancakes on his plate. Hermione raised an eyebrow, obviously suspicious.
"You never returned to the dorms on Wednesday. It's now Friday. That's a rather long time for a mere check-up," she stated staring at him critically.
Harry shifted nervously, "It's nothing."
Ron joined the conversation through a mouth load of pancakes, "It wa' somfing."
Harry closed his eyes and sighed, "Guys, it was really just a check-up. Madam Pomfrey wanted to make sure I wasn't underweight and such. She had to run some other tests as well."
"And?" prompted Hermione.
"Ican'," he said quickly. Hermione and Ron stared.
"What?"
"I can't stay in the dorms for the time being," Harry said slowly. As expected, Hermione and Ron both burst out in protested.
"Why?"
"They can't do that, can they?"
"Madam Pomfrey wants me to live closer to Tom. She thinks it'll help me," explained Harry.
"What's wrong, Harry?" pressed Hermione, "You know you can tell us anything." Ron nodded vehemently. Harry sighed.
"I'll tell you guys, I really will," he chewed his lip nervously, "But now's not that time. I . . . I can't."
Hermione frowned and Ron looked worried.
"C'mon mate," urged Ron, "You sure? It's not going to be the same in the dorms without you. Boring, probably. We'll understand no matter what."
Harry looked at Ron anxiously. Silent understanding spread across Ron's face.
"I understand," the red head said while clapping him on the back gently, "When you're ready we'll be here for you."
Harry smiled, "Thanks guys."
"So," started Ron trying to break the heavy tension that had settled over the trio, "Are you well enough to go to Quidditch practice tonight?"
Harry nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, I'm fine for the most part."
"Grand," said two voices in unison. Harry turned around to meet the smirking faces of the Weasley twins.
"Alicia would have a fit-"
"If you didn't show up. Besides-"
"We need to talk to you about-"
"A certain business transaction."
And just a soon as they had appeared, the mischievous twins disappeared.
"What the bloody hell" said Ron, "was that?"
"I haven't the faintest idea," said Harry quite honestly.
"Oh never mind that, you two!" said Hermione, "We're going to be late for class!"
XOXOXOXOXO
After a rather exhilarating Quidditch practice, Harry found himself pressed up against the wall of the Gryffindor locker room, staring into two pairs of mischievous blue eyes.
"W-what do you want?" Harry stuttered nervously. Fred and George gave the brunette an once-over and wolf-whistled.
"Lookin' mighty fine, Harry," smirked George.
"Fresh from the shower, water dripping from your skin, smooth lean muscles, hero complex," commented Fred running a lone finger down Harry's smooth cheek.
"Just our type," they said together.
Harry looked at the twins nervously, "I . . . I thought you wanted to talk to me."
"Oh, but we do!" they smirked, "We're just highly distracted."
Confused out of his mind, Harry invoked the bond between him and Tom for the first time since the incident in Snape's mindscape.
"Tom?" he called nervously.
"Yes?" came the immediate reply.
"I might need you in a bit . . ."
"Why?" This time the reply was full of alarm, "What's wrong?"
"Fred and George are acting oddly. I haven't the faintest idea why," explained Harry.
"Alright, be on alert Harry. I will be as well."
"It doesn't seem as if Harry's getting what we're telling him," pouted Fred pulling Harry from the bond. George surveyed Harry.
"I think a demonstration is in order," the red head said huskily. Harry eyed the twins warily, unsure of what their next move would be. Suddenly, a Weasley twin was on either side of him.
"Do understand now?" whispered Fred as George gently bit the brunette's earlobe. Harry couldn't help but let a gasp through from shock. He shivered as Fred put a hand low on his hip.
"Tom," squeaked Harry, "Please get here now. I can't handle two horny Weasley twins by myself."
Almost instantly, the door opened revealing an extremely angry Tom in his Professor Evans guise. Despite the menacing air, the dark lord gave off, Fred and George stayed plastered to Harry's body.
"Off him! NOW!" commanded Tom.
"We think not," was the twins' impertinent reply. Harry's shaking increased to almost a violent level. He didn't like having all these hands over him. Hands and bodies doing whatever they wished to him. Like Vernon . . . God, it was terrible. Silently and without warning, Tom wandlessly pulled the redheads off of Harry. Immediately, Harry ran to Tom's arms. Hesitantly, Tom hugged him.
"Discretion," hissed Tom.
"Fuck discretion," came Harry's muffled reply as he burrowed into Tom's safe, strong arms. Tom sighed and kissed the top of the distraught brunette's head.
"Interesting," mused Fred, "We were right."
George nodded, "Now to figure out who Evans is."
Seething, Tom turned to the twins, "Whatever do you mean, you miscreants? You've upset Harry for no reason whatsoever and now you think I'm an impersonator?"
"Ah, but you see, we see that you are not who you say to be," chanted the twins. Tom glared at them.
"What do you mean? Explain yourselves. You're mere centimeters away from a detention."
Fred turned to George, "Scary. Perhaps we should lay off-"
"If we don't want a detention with You-Know-Who!" whispered George dramatically.
"But," and here the twins looked thoughtful, "Perhaps we do."
All Harry and Tom could do was stare at the smirking twins in shock. Seconds later, his senses returning to him Tom leveled his wand at the twins while keeping Harry behind his back.
"Explain this now," growled Tom, "You have less than ten seconds." The twins shrugged, as if not bothered by the dark lord pointing a wand at them.
"Lucky guess, we suppose. The only wizarding Thomas Evans to have ever resided in France did so in 1756. We do doubt you are that person. It took extensive research and quite a bit of guessing, so your secret is quite safe," started George.
"Honestly though, why else would Harry suddenly be so chummy with Malfoy, unless it dealt with you? And seriously, Harry spends way too much time with you, even for a "family member", not to be involved with you," explained Fred quickly.
Harry peeked out from behind Tom, "Is it that obvious?"
Fred winked at him, 'Nope, we're just that observant."
A/N: Hello everyone! Review for me please? I've so many ideas and since school's out, expect quicker updates!