I am so so sorry for the long update time. This chapter proved to be difficult to write and life has become very busy. Hopefully I'll get another one up this weekend! I hope you enjoy, Aubrey
Ball
A few weeks had past since that first night that Lily burst into James' room unannounced. The morning after had been full of sidelong glances exchanged at the breakfast table and during classes that would make both teenagers go pink in the face. Whenever one of their respective friends would bring this up to them, Lily and James would blush even deeper and deny every accusation.
Lily had been glad to know that James had not told his friends, especially Sirius, because she was certain that the boys would never miss an opportunity to take the mickey out of her ever again.
Looking back, even now, Lily could still feel her face heat up by the intensity of James' eyes when they woke up still entangled in each others arms. They had been so full of warmth that Lily had been rendered breathless especially when he ducked his head and kissed her good morning.
Although that was the first time that she spent the night, it wouldn't be the last. She didn't make a habit out of sneaking up to James' room, but over the past three weeks, she had found her way there at least twice weekly.
Lying next to him had a way of keeping her dreams at bay. She was no longer plagued with nightmares of her father, the black haired baby, or the frightening man. With his arms holding her tightly against him, Lily could rest well knowing that she was safe.
Each day it seemed that Lily was able to learn something new about James. She would catch him helping Peter practice his spell work for assignments or helping a first year navigate their way through the castle when they were running late. She would see the way that he helped those on his team to perfect their skills and noticed that he always tried hard not to let his temper run away from him.
Often, Lily found herself wondering how she could have over looked such amazing personality traits up until this year.
Their days were spent in the mixed company of Lily's friends and the Marauders and, as the 7th years were constantly bombarded with excessive amounts of school work, the Head's common room was crowded in the evenings by their friends doing their revision.
Between making time for friends, revision, Quidditch practices, and Head duty, Lily and James had found it particularly hard to make time for their first official date. James was always the first to bring it up and he reckons that they should make it soon; he has only been waiting for her to agree for about five years or so.
He is also always eager to point out that Lily has gone against all of her previous statements about loathing James for eternity. Each time that he mentions this, Lily will try to summon up her old fiery glare and state that the giant squid might still be available for her.
It was just after one of these comments that Lily found herself sitting in the Great Hall with her newly extended group of friends and chatting about the newest bulletin that had been posted about a week prior.
"What do you think Remus? Do you reckon that you will ask anyone?" Cecilia asked him coyly as she spread jam over the top of her toast. Remus, who had been scanning the daily prophet, chocked on the sip of water that he had just taken.
"Wh-what? You mean ask someone to the ball?" Lily could tell that Remus was doing a mental check to see if the Winter Ball would fall within the few nights that he took off for the new moon this year. "I suppose I could go… I hadn't really given it much thought though."
Lily could tell that Cecilia was a bit let down by this answer but there was still time; the ball wouldn't be for another week or so. She let her glance slide to the boy next to her and wondered if he would be asking her anytime soon or if she would need to.
"Oh I simply cannot wait to go! Frank asked me the other night and if it turns out to be anything like Halloween, the night will be completely magical." James found her hand at the mention of that night and Lily wasn't sure if he was remembering the Amos incident or about how it had initially brought them together. She chose to focus on the later and leaned over to give him a quick peck on the cheek.
She let her mind wander onto the next couple of weeks and what they would bring. The 7th years were entering into the middle of the term and that meant that mid year assessments would be upon them within days. At the end of this testing period, it was announced that the Winter Ball would be held the Saturday before everyone left to go home for holiday.
Lily had been apprehensive about this Holiday ever since James had asked her what she would be doing. She had managed to mumble some excuse about her staying at Hogwarts for her studies and was infinitely grateful when Sirius had interrupted James' reply.
With all of their time spent together, Lily had still been unable to share some of her more personal secrets. It wasn't that she didn't want to; James was the first boy in a long time that she could trust.
Lily was just enjoying being with someone who didn't know her problems. Her days spent with James were like a snippet from someone else's life; someone who was just happy to be with a boy and who didn't need to worry about the real world issues of being an orphan.
Looking around the room, Lily once again noticed the spectacular Christmas decorations, complete with 12 humongous evergreens, which were scattered throughout the Hall.
Christmas had always been one of her favorite times of year when she was younger. People were in pleasant moods, the food was plentiful and especially prepared, and Petunia always seemed less angry around the Holidays.
The past few years, however, Lily found Christmas hard to handle. Her mother had been very sick and passed away only a few days beforehand. Christmas had been celebrated in silence since then and she no longer felt the same joy that everyone else did this time of year.
She wondered if Petunia would even send a card this year or if, perhaps, her only sister would continue to scorn her. The thought made her stomach squirm and she resolved to send some muggle sweets with her card; her sister may be angry, but they still loved each other right?
Lily was snapped out of her thoughts by a gentle prod in her side. Looking around, she noticed that the table was nearly empty and that James was her only company.
"Where did everyone go?"
"Oh, well they all decided to scamper and attend to whatever they had planned for the day." James smiled his crooked smile and Lily could feel her heart leap.
"But no one even said goodbye!" She said in mock-outrage.
"Lils, everyone tried to say goodbye but you were in your dream land again; Sirius even did an Irish gig but you still wouldn't pay attention." He was laughing quietly at the memory and Lily could feel the colour rising on her cheeks.
"Well I'm sorry if I have important things to think about." She was starting to snap at him and wished that she didn't have this temper.
"Woah, calm down Evans, I think it's adorable. You get this little pout in your lips and your eyes keep looking around the room but never really focus on anything. I wish I knew what was going on inside there though." He gave her head a rap with his knuckles and she giggled.
"Well if you're a really good boy, I will tell you a secret tonight." She could see the smile spread on his face and he ran a hand through his hair to muss it up.
"How would you like to go on an adventure with me?" The question caught her off guard but she agreed and soon they had left the Great Hall, gone to retrieve their winter clothes, and made their way out onto the snow covered grounds.
"What a beautiful day!" Lily exclaimed with delight as the sun warmed her exposed cheeks and the snow crunched below their anxious feet. "Where are we off to?"
"No where too far away," he said with a mysterious wink before taking her hand in his and leading the way over to the lake.
At first, Lily was reminded of the day in which she had first spent time with the four marauders; the lake once again gave off the impression of being covered with thousands of diamonds that glittered in the sun. Upon closer examination, though, she found that the lake actually did have a glittering barrier covering it; a thick layer of ice stretched around the whole surface of the lake.
"I wonder if the giant squid hibernates or not." She said the question before she had even thought out whether it could be true or not. Lily chanced a glance at James who wasn't even trying to hide his grin.
"Lily Evans doesn't know an answer to something? We must inform everyone!" he said laughing and trying to pull her towards the castle. Lily couldn't help but laugh along as she pulled with all of her might, both hands clasped around his captured one, trying to keep him from moving.
"James Potter, you stay right here with me!" she managed to get out around her giggles over the delighted look on his face.
He had a way of catching her off guard. James quickly stepped closer to her, pulling her body into his, and caught her chin so that she was looking straight at him. "Always." He whispered before ducking his head to place a soft kiss on her lips.
She couldn't breathe for fear of ruining the moment. This boy, who had once been her most despised counterpart, was now the one person who could chase away her nightmares and continually catch her by surprise with his kind gestures.
His eyes were still locked on hers, watching her, waiting for her to react and she couldn't think of anything to say. Lily wasn't aware of making the decision, but the next thing she could remember, her lips were moving against James' and her heart was fluttering wildly.
This went on for several moments before James pulled away looking sheepish. Lily couldn't make sense of this until her brain registered the wolf whistles and hooting from other students out on the grounds.
"Well… what did you have in mind for today?" she was still trying to sort through what just happened and could tell that his mind was still a little cluttered as well.
"What? Oh… umm. Oh, yes. Do you trust me?" Lily paused as images of things she has yet to tell him floated through her already cramped mind.
He extended his hand to her again and she grabbed it instantly, "With my life." It was surprising to Lily how much she meant it.
James was like a siren's song to her. His clam demeanor flowed from him in waves and she was powerless to resist anything that he asked of her. Step after step, she followed his lead until her brain was able to catch up and recognize what certain danger she had been led into.
"James! Are you mental?" Lily froze instantly and looked under her feet at the frozen lake. She could see the outlines of creatures swimming below and was suddenly terrified of being swallowed into the freezing water.
Why had he brought her to the middle of the lake? Didn't he know the dangers of hypothermia that awaited them if the ice were to break apart? She brought her eyes back to his again and saw that he was shocked by her response.
"Calm down Evans, this ice is so thick it would probably hold Hagrid's weight." Lily gave a gasp of shock when, for emphasis, James started to jump up and down repeatedly.
"Alright! Alright, I get it. Why are we in the middle of the lake again?" She was still scared but his jumping really did make her feel better. James grabbed her hand once more and pulled her farther across the lake.
Lily made sure to keep her head up so as to pretend that they were still on solid ground. She focused on the warmth of James' hand in hers and the way in which he walked a little more heavily on his right leg than his left; had he ever broken it? There were so many things that they had never talked about; that she had never thought to ask about.
"Okay, Lily, close your eyes." She did so without a second thought and he took both her hands to lead her, making sure nothing caught her foot or catching her if she managed to stumble.
"Have you been planning something James Potter?" Lily couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of her lips.
"Just be patient Evans." He was shaking a little bit, either from the chilly air or his suppressed laughter; Lily couldn't tell which.
They traveled a few more minutes in silence before he stopped again.
"Okay, now on the count of three, open your eyes." Anticipation was flowing through her veins. "One… two… three!"
Her eyes drifted open and, at first, all she could register was the immense beauty of the scene. They were in the same field that they had come to with the marauders except that it looked completely transformed.
Trees rimmed the outer circle and still blocked the rest of the castle from view but the other wildlife seemed to have stayed the same all through winter. The ground didn't have the same cover of snow as the rest of the grounds had and the grass still grew tall and waved with each fresh wind. Even the wild flowers still sprung up around them in large patches.
The thing that made it amazing though, was that nothing had its usual colours. The trees, grass, and flowers, even the ground, was magically coated with a thin film of silvery crystal that made the whole scene sparkle in the sunlight. When the wind would blow the grass and flowers around, a sound of tinkling would fill the air and leave Lily breathless in its beauty.
She turned to James and threw her arms around him, "it's remarkable, absolutely remarkable."
"I'm glad you like it," he replied kissing the top of her head. "Come on, I have something set up over here." James dragged her over to a small blanket that Lily hadn't noticed earlier, and she saw a small picnic laid out for the two of them.
"What have we got here?" she asked, indicating to array of snack foods.
"Well," James looked a little bit uncertain as he continued, "I may have ordered some muggle sweets that are supposed to be good. I thought that you might miss them."
Lily was touched by his thoughtfulness once more and kissed him quickly hoping that he understood what she couldn't put into words.
One kiss led to another and soon, the sweets were left forgotten as each teen had their minds wrapped up in the other. It was too soon, in Lily's opinion, when James finally pulled away slightly. Resting his head on her shoulder and nuzzling into her neck he began to speak.
"Lily, I can not tell you how much these past few weeks have meant to me. You are all I've ever wanted, and… ah. Lily would you like to be my girlfriend?" His nose had been drawing a pattern on her skin while he talked and her mind had wandered a bit because of it but his question caught her off guard.
She pulled back slightly to look him in the eye. "I kind of thought I already was?" she said uncertainly. This made him laugh and kiss her again.
"Of course you are, you silly girl. I just wanted to make it official before I could gather up my courage to ask my girlfriend if she would like to attend the Ball with me?"
Lily smiled widely as she accepted his offer. Shifting her weight, she tumbled a bit and fell into a sitting position on James' lap before they continued where they had left off with their snogging.
Her hands found their way up into his messy hair, and his sat low on her waist slightly inching up her winter coat and brushing his cold skin against her previously sheltered waist.
"James, that is so cold." Lily giggled around kisses as she squirmed. "How would you like it if the tables were turned?" He began to kiss his way down her jaw bone and onto her neck and Lily could feel a different kind of squirminess entering her body.
"Mmm," he murmured against her skin, making her breath hitch in her throat, "I honestly don't think I would mind that much." His hand went up a little more under the thick fabric and weaved its way onto her back, pulling her closer to him.
Did she like what was happening? How was she supposed to know if they were moving too fast or not? His lips really did know where to go on her neck… Godric his eyes were amazing. They were snogging again and before she knew it, her hands were at the hem of his shirt. They had just begun to tentatively run over his stomach when he jerked away from her.
"Blimey, Evans, you weren't joking when you said that my hands were cold!" Lily had been hurt when he pulled away but couldn't help laughing at the serious expression on his face.
He joined in with her laughter and pulled her into a tight embrace. "What do you say we head back up to the castle then? We wouldn't want either of us to catch a cold before next week, would we?"
Lily nodded. Ball. She would be James Potter's date to ball. They were officially boyfriend and girlfriend; butterflies were attacking her insides and her pulse raced at the memory of that small bit of flesh she had been able to explore before he had pulled away.
As they made their way back up to the castle, Lily decided that she did indeed like what was happening between them.
Hours later, after dinner, after spending time with their friends, and after Lily and James had gone to their separate rooms for the night, she laid awake thinking about him and wishing that she could find the courage to sneak up into his arms once again.
It had been so long since she had felt so alive. Ever since her mother's death, Lily had been perfect; she had kept good grades, never done anything to break the rules, and had stayed away from boys. To the world, she was an amazing witch but within her own mind, Lily was empty.
Nothing made her feel happy, the only time she had felt something was when dealing with James. He was the only person who could get past to her emotions and she hated him for it.
Now that they were together, however, Lily couldn't get enough of him. Somehow, he had brought her back into the living world and every sensation with him was enough to keep her living, even if it meant having to deal with the pain of her parent's deaths.
What did it mean? Was this how life was supposed to be; dealing with painful memories while trying to be present in the most wonderful?
Why had she felt so different as she grazed his stomach this afternoon? Were the two of them moving too quickly? They had only been seeing each other for few weeks after all… Would she really tell him about her parents?
There was a quick knock on the door and Lily jumped before realizing that it was only James.
She became aware, as he slid under the covers with her, that this was the first time they had slept in her bed.
"I just remembered that you own me a secret for such a good date today." He whispered in her ear as his arms snaked their way around her to pull their bodies closer together.
A shiver passed down her spine as his breath tickled her neck. "I had hoped that you would have forgotten about that," she teased.
"Never; I couldn't let an opportunity, to learn more about the mysterious Lily Evans, slip between my fingers, now could I?"
Lily let out a breath of nervousness. "Okay, so what part of my life do you want to know about?"
James let out a laugh, "I get to pick the question? Well this is my lucky day now isn't it?" He shifted his weight so that his head was propped up on his elbow and Lily could turn to look him in the eye.
He held her gaze for a long while before making up his mind. "What is the real reason that you won't be going home for the holidays?"
Lily kept his gaze trying to keep her heart rate down and trying to figure out how to answer his question. Was this the moment? Should she tell him now? Finally she took a breath and dropped her gaze to pick at a seam in her sheets.
"I don't have a home to go back to." There, that was the truth. Would it keep his questions at bay?
"You… don't have a home? Do your parents need financial help? Could I do anything for them?" Lily instantly felt awkward about his worry.
"No, no. It's nothing like that." She held her hand to his lips to stop him from talking. "I just… I'm staying with my aunt and uncle at the moment but their house… they're muggles so it doesn't really feel like home. I have to hide who I am there and- and that's the reason I'm staying here."
She couldn't say it. Some Gryffindor she made; couldn't even tell her boyfriend about her dead parents.
"What about your friends? Wouldn't they like to have you over?" Lily could tell that he was at a loss; this wasn't the answer that he was expecting.
"I'm sure they all would… but I couldn't do that. I couldn't impose on them. Alice already had me over for most of summer and Cecelia and Audrey's parents are both considerably less well off. No, I'll stay here."
James was about to talk again but Lily didn't think she could handle getting any deeper so she leaned up and kissed him. She kissed him with as much enthusiasm that she could produce.
It only took a few seconds for him to respond; his hands went into her mussed up hair and he rolled so that she was lying across his chest.
Lily's hands moved from the bed up to the spot where his shirt met his trousers. Hesitating for only a moment to gather her courage, she slid her hands underneath the fabric and let them move up and down his flesh, memorizing each detail.
His gasp of breath made her believe that she was doing something right and so she continued working the shirt up farther before finally breaking their kiss to lift it over his head.
Before the fabric could even hit the floor, with a soft 'thud', Lily had begun to kiss her way down the side of his neck and onto his bare chest. She paused for a moment when she realized that the soft rhythm on her lips was actually the bray of his heart.
Never before had she felt this powerful; to be able to cause this reaction from him was better than any good grade or unbroken rule, this is the only thing in 5 years that has made her feel like she was doing something right.
Lily awoke alone in her room. The sun was slipping in through the slit between curtains in her window and all was silent around her. For a few moments, her mind tried to decipher what dreams she had had the night before but then she was too present in reality to grasp them.
What day was today? She remembered taking her mid-year examinations this past week; it must be Saturday. Wasn't there something important going on soon?
Lily sat upright: today was the day of the Ball. The past week had gone by quickly with the exams and with James and her continually stealing time to snog in public places.
After they had spent the night together last weekend, Lily had decided that in order to focus on their studies, the two of them would need to spend their nights apart in order to ensure adequate sleep.
This had proved excruciating but effective; how would she ever be able to spend the holiday without him?
Shaking the thought from her mind, Lily stood and stretched before making her way down to shower and get ready for the day. The girls would be coming to take over the head's dorm around 4 so that gave her plenty of time to rejoice that break was finally here.
Lily met up with the marauders at breakfast and was talked into a snowball fight on the grounds, in which James took most of the hits trying to protect her. Even with his best effort, the five of them were completely drenched by the time Alice came to collect her.
They made it up to the head's common room and Lily wasn't surprised to see her other two friend already there and setting up everything that they would need.
"Okay, first things first: Lily… your dress." Alice had agreed to let her borrow a dress for the night, given Lily's lack of funds, and she had no idea what one it would be.
As Alice let the plastic drop, the three other girls let out a gasp of shock and loathing.
"Oh Ali, I can't wear that!"
"Of course you can, and you will. James already has the colour to match to so you have to." There was a twinkle in her eye that only came from these special dress-up days. "Now let's all get ourselves made up?"
It took a long while before everyone was perfect. Hair, makeup, nails, dresses, jewelry; it all flew by in a flash and before she had even noticed, the time for the dance had come. Lily took one last look over her friends to make sure they were ready.
Alice had decided to go with a pale pink dress that shimmered with every move that she made. It had a halter tie back and showed off her small frame. Her hair was done up in an elegant bun at the nape of her neck and she sported shimmering gold eye shadow. On her wrist sat the only piece of jewelry; a small charm bracelet that Frank had given her this past anniversary.
Audrey sported a short red dress that accentuated her hips and legs. Her hair hung straight and her makeup was soft and subtle, she had been asked by a Ravenclaw 6th year… was his name Mike?
Cecilia was beyond excited because Remus seemed to have caught onto her hints and had asked her the previous day. In honor of the occasion, she wore a dark purple dress that fluttered gracefully from her waist to the floor. Although her makeup and hair looked fantastic, her smile was what made little Cici stand out tonight.
The four of them made their way out of the dorm and set a path for the great hall, where they had agreed with the boys to meet. Each step closer made Lily's anticipation grow. This dress was bound to gather attention and she just needed to be in James' arms quickly before any trouble could find her.
Turning the last corner, Lily's eyes met his within a few seconds; he could do nothing but stare at her as she made her way down the last set of stairs. She knew what he was looking at of course.
The dress that Alice had put her in was a floor length midnight blue. It had a cropped shoulder style that dipped low into her cleavage and even farther down on her back. There was a flare around her ankles that made her walked slowly and with precision. Her long red hair had been left down and done up in soft curls that bounced with each step.
Lily knew that she had caught James off guard and it made her proud to see the look of longing in his eyes. He was in his best dress robes with an undershirt the same midnight blue as her dress. His hair was still miserably untamable but she loved that part of him.
"Blimey Lily, you look stunning. I can't think of anything else to say," he murmured as he played with one of her curls. The tough made a shiver pass through her.
"You don't look to shabby yourself Potter," she added with a wink. He grinned at her and mussed up his hair even more before offering her his arm.
"Shall we go in then?" As they walked, Lily could feel multiple sets of eyes following her. Maybe this dress had been too much.
A soft, slow tune started up and James spun her in a circle before drawing her close to him.
"I am the luckiest bloke in the whole world at this moment, did you know that?" Lily could feel her blush rising.
"Only if you realize that I'm the luckiest girl to be here with you."
Around and around they went, Lily moved to rest her head on his shoulder as they swayed and began to hum along with the tune. It wasn't long before James joined in and their soft humming mixed together in a sweet mixture with the song.
Had she ever been this content? Lily let her eyelids drop and her whole world consisted of her and James and their two voices weaving a melody around them.
The song ended and a faster, more upbeat one took its place but still the two teens swayed to their own music, wrapped up in their sweet world away from pain, and war; away from the responsibilities of life and away from every watchful set of eyes.
On and on the night stretched. Sometimes, they would catch up with their friends, but mostly, James and Lily could be seen in the middle of the dance floor content to just be with each other.
Eventually the last song was played, and students were making their ways back up to bed. Hand in hand, Lily and James strolled through the corridors before finally emerging out onto the astronomy tower, without knowing how that had got there.
"Could I ask you one more question Evans?" She loved the way he would still use her nickname. He was twirling her hair once more between his fingers. "Would you come and stay with me over the holiday?"
Whatever question she was expecting, it hadn't been that one. "I couldn't do that… your parents, what would they say?"
"I already asked them- this past week- they would love for you to come. Please say you will—I couldn't stand it if I knew you were here all alone for the Holiday." His eyes begged her ascent.
What did she have to lose? "Of course I'll come." And he kissed her.