Uhm…hi again? Yeah, I'll try to make this chapter worth while…but don't get too excited. By the way…Emily is actually my friend's name…EMILY SOME TWO MIDDLE NAMES HERE HOAGLAND. O…M…G. Now some ones gonna hunt her down and rape her. Pffft.

To all fans of this fiction: Please don't kill me.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

"OMIGOSH! TWO PAULAS!" Breda screeched and pointed one of them.

The Paula at the doorway stopped and blinked. She looked at the random, dead, burning people lying around and the giant flaming thing…and the torn up suit of armor…and the other her…

Paula turned around and walked away.

"…Raaaaaaandom…" Mustang hissed.

I looked at the other Paula as I threw Al down.

"Ow…" he whined.

"Hey, um…Which is the real Paula?"

The other Paula looked at me. Then she pulled off her disguise. She was…

"…Zim…?" Emily blinked in confusion.

Indeed, Zim the invader himself…in our little stadium.

"Um…hi?" I said awkwardly. "Why are you…here…?"

"I dunno," he shrugged, then walked off.

"…"

Silence.

Ed clapped his hands together. "Ooookay, then! Time for Al to sing!"

"Not on my watch." Greed slid onto the stage in this pimp outfit.

"YOU!" Ed pointed.

"Yo, s'up mah homedawgs?"

"…What?" Winry blinked.

Everyone laughed at Winry. She was too stupid to understand gangsta.

"Why are you dressed like that?"

Everyone laughed at her again to make her feel bad. Then Winry pulled out a gun and pointed it at everybody. Then they shut up. 'Cept for Greed who was just like, 'Pfft, whatever, I've seen worse.'

Then Greed flipped everyone off and walked up to the microphone. "Hit it bitches!" He snapped his fingers.

"…No way you hoebag." Envy rolled it's eyes.

Then Greed bitch slapped Envy and, yet, another cat fight ensued in this fic. During their bitch-squabble, they ended up killing a cat that Al had been petting that had got in the way. "GREEN DAY, NOOOO!"

Al wailed like a baby until Fury was like, "Gawsh, be a man ya damn pussie."

Al punched him in the face and Fury was unconscious for a while. That's when Breda screamed and pointed at him and was like, "THE ARMOR TALKS!"

And Hawkeye was like, "AL'S GONE CRAZY!"

And Mustang was like, "I'M GOING COMMANDO RIGHT NOW!"

Everyone stopped and looked at him. "Ew." Except Al, who was still crying and in his hysteria, picked up the microphone by the cord and started flinging it around and hitting people. Except Winry, 'cus he didn't wanna hurt the microphone.

Ed whipped out a video camera and giggled like a school girl as he thought of Youtube.

So, in the midst of all this chaos, Al eventually ended up accidentally tying everyone up in this giant microphone-cord tangle. Except Ed, because Ed had been making a video, Emily who was dancing on the judges table and had been knocked out when the microphone hit her on the forehead, and Fury because he was already unconscious.

"Wow…" Hawkeye blinked. "I just realized that this is a total invasion of personal space."

"And…uncomfortable…Are all you guys going commando today, or something?" Lust grimaced, afraid to shift around.

"No, just Mustang," Havoc coughed.

Mustang smiled like a kid in a candy store. Which was creepy and perverted.

"Boys are sooooooo sick!" Envy turned up it's nose.

Then it got stabbed in the crotch by Greed, who was right next to it the microphone-wire web, and screamed in agony for a while. After Envy was done, I got sick of waiting and tossed Al on the stage.

"But I can't sing!"

"Why not?"

Al counted on his fingers. "No judges! Paula walked off, or was Zim and then walked off, Simon laughed himself into a coma, Randy…well no one cares about Randy, and Emily was just knocked unconscious by me."

"Al…" I looked at him, "Half of our audience is dead. We probably lost the other half when this fic went on hold a year ago. Please, just sing!"

"Only if you buy me a kitty."

"…Um, deal?"

"YAY!" Chibi Al waddled like penguin up to the microphone. Because Penguins are awesome.

Can't touch this,

You can't touch this,

Look at my eyes maaan

Can't touch this!

Fresh new kicks!

Advance,

Ya gotta like that,

Now ya know ya wanna dance

So move

Outta yo seat

Can't touch this

So while chibi Al was rapping, Mustang started to groove around. Which is awkaward. Because Falman was stuck in front of him. Yeah.

So Al finished, we applauded him, and he stared at me.

"…What?"

"…Cat…" he hissed.

"…Uh…right!" I pulled Emily's purse out and began tossing stuff out. "Damn, how much stuff does she have in here?" I wondered as I pulled out a compact, some lip gloss, a Sprite, a hot dog, her license, car keys, a bottle of Vodka, her ex-boyfriend, random anime episodes, her iPod, Ed's camera, a bag of meth, various dollar bills, a hookah, a vampire, some druggie goth kids, a prom dress, a fish, the one ring of power, a laptop, a margarita, more Vodka, some Tequila, Cocoa, a few Mexican dishes, my deceased great grandma, a cell phone, a urinal, some guns, a nun, pliers, the entire Futurama crew, and a penguin before I found her stuffed cat.

"Here," I tossed it to him, before I noticed that Em had jam-packed the school's vending machine with all the soda in it down inside her bag. "That. Little…"

Al stared at it. Then he hugged it and pranced around.

"HEY!" Greed called over from where he was. "CAN I SING NOW?"

I shrugged. "Shoot. But I'm not gonna go through the trouble of untying you, so you'll have to sing over there."

"Squee!" Greed smiled over the cries of Scar, who was being attacked by the Penguin.

AQUARIUS

There's travel in your future

When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus

Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whack-o-mole

Seventeen hours of the day

PISCES

Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos

With the Ebola virus

You are the true lord of the dance

No matter what those idiots at work

ARIES

The look on your face will be priceless

When you find that forty pound Watermelon

In your colon!

Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf

And give a hickey to Meryl Street

TAUROS

You will never find true happiness

What'cha gonna do?

Cry about it?

The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up,

Do a bunch of stuff

And then go back to sleep!

That's your horoscope for tooooodayyy!

"SHUT UP! Jeeves Crimeny! YOU SUCK GREED."

Greed broke down in tears.

"Y'know what? I'm just gonna wrap this up, so I can go back to watching AMV's with a clear conscious!"

"NEXT TIME…THE FINAL VOTE! YOU CHOOSE WHO BECOMES THE NEXT FMA IDOL! Presenting… HAWKEYE! Who sang 'Baby Hit Me One More Time' by Brittany Spears!"

Hawkeye was too creeped out by Mustang and Falman to notice her name.

"And…FURY! Who sand, 'Bye, Bye, Bye' by NSYNC!"

Fury was unconscious.

"Also, ARMSTRONG, who…Uh, nevermind. Moving on! AND, THE HOMONCULI TRIO, WHO SANG, 'Fall to Pieces,' by Avril Lavigne!"

Gluttony…was um, kinda totally forgotten about in this chapter, and Lust smiled, and Envy still wailed in pain because he had been stabbed in the crotch.

"Also Presenting…BREDA! Who sang, 'Who Let the Dogs Out,' by the Baha Men!"

"I SANG ROCK LOBSTER BETTER!"

"Also including, Scar! Who proposed a death threat!"

Scar screeched as the Penguin attempted to eat his ear.

"Also, ED! Who sang a Disney Hate Song by himself!"

"FUCK DISNEY!"

"And Havoc, who sang, 'Just The Girl,' by the Click 5!"

"Mr. Squirrely-Whirrly…"

"ALSO FEATURING, MSUTANG! WHO SANG, 'Baby Got Back!' by…that one…dude…"

Everyone who had a slight bit of sanity stared at me. "You don't know who the artist is…?"

I coughed. "Um, ANYWAY, ALSO SHOWING, FALMAN! Who sang, 'I Wonder,' by Diffuser!"

"CHESKA! IF YOU'RE WATCHING THIS, I SWEAR I'M NOT GAY!"

"Also, AL! WHO SANG, 'U Can't Touch This!' by MC Hammer!"

Al nodded happily until the stuffed kitty he was holding blew up for no apparent reason. "NNOO! CHUCK NORRIS!"

"Also...Greed...Who sang, 'Your Horoscope For Today,' by Wierd Al Yankovic!"

"'Tis Pimpin'!"

"...Y-yeah...AAAAND…WINRY! WHO SANG SOME WIERD EBAY SONG!"

"Better. Than. Amazon."

"Lies."

"THE CIA SAYS SO."

"…Okay then. ONLY YOUR VOTES CAN DECIDED WHO WILL BE THE NEXT. FMA. IDOL!"

Then I looked around to notice that everyone just mumbled along or were screaming or were just being stupid.

"Great guys, just great."

SUPER MAJOR IMPORTANT

You can vote now. Tell me in your reviews who will be the next Fma Idol. It can be any of the FMA characters who sang. Yes, even Armstrong. And the Homonculi can be as a group or individual. You choose.

YAH. FINAL CHAPTER NEXT. REVIEW, DAMN YOU!