Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or anything related to Devil May Cry. Check chapter 2 for more information!
Chapter 14: Hell Hath No Fury
Two days later, Dante sat on a bed in some no name motel, debating whether it was safe to at least attempt to go home.
A new cell phone lay beside him on the bed and he twirled the valuable memory stick around in his fingers.
Although his stay in the motel had been fun – the previous night having been particularly entertaining, first he had rescued a woman from a few demons, then the woman had thanked him with style – he was more than ready to go home now. Not only was he tired of wearing the same Ghost Rider t-shirt and jeans, but he felt, smelt and undoubtedly looked like he hadn't had a shower in days, which of course he hadn't since after one look at the motel's grime covered facilities there was no way he was going to get in there without a protective bio suit.
Pulling a hand through his greasy hair – funny how gross it could get in such a short amount of time – Dante abruptly grabbed the new cell phone off the bed and flipping it open, quickly punched in the number for his office.
The phone rang two times before it was picked up. "Hello, Devil May Cry! Lucia speaking."
"Hey, Lucy!" Dante greeted cheerfully, happy that it hadn't been Lady that picked up.
There were a few moments of silence before Lucia spoke again. "Dante! You have some nerve!" She said in a hissing whisper.
"Didn't Vergil give you guys my message?" Dante asked, feeling a little let down by his big brother.
"Oh, yes, he gave us the message. That doesn't mean that you don't still need a good boot up your ass for that stunt you pulled." Lucia hissed and then Dante could hear someone in the background and Lucia spoke louder. "No, Lady, its just Enzo."
"Well it worked didn't it?" Dante asked in an annoyed voice. No one was ever appreciative of the things he did.
"Was that before or after you had Leo try to propose to Lady?" Lucia asked softly, her voice feigning sweetness.
"WHAT?" Dante's eyes nearly popped out of his head and he immediately stood, pacing the tight confines of his motel room in agitation. "I never told him to do that!" Stupid, stupid kid!
"Well he figured it would be such a great idea, since you gave him the 'means' with which to have Lady falling madly in love with him. It's a just a good thing we got back when we did or she might have actually killed him!" Lucia snapped into the phone, still keeping her voice hushed.
"Well how was I supposed to know Leo would be 'that' stupid?" Dante shouted back into the phone, completely stressed out. God, he was never going to be allowed back into his home ever again! Suddenly he felt the urge to throttle his inner demon for making him come up with something so dumb.
"Hey! Don't yell at me!" Lucia responded and then abruptly changed the subject. "What were you calling about?"
Dante sighed and leaned against a wall, feeling instead like he should be bashing his head into it. "How's my brother?" he asked first, it having been the thing plaguing him the most; had this prank helped in bringing his twin out of his shell?
"Yeah," Lucia responded, slight surprise filling her voice. "He has been much better actually." She paused for a moment before continuing. "You did this all for him didn't you?"
"Yeah," Dante admitted softly.
"Well, then you would probably like to know that after we managed to pull Lady off of Leo, we found Vergil practically in tears he was laughing so hard. It took us a bit to figure out whether he was having a complete mental breakdown or not."
Dante smiled at that; it had never been an easy thing to get Vergil to laugh, but when it did happen it was like the first warm day of spring after a hard winter.
"Since then he has been up at the crack of dawn and finished reading all those newspapers and magazines I brought him. Then this morning when Trish and I got back from patrol, he actually had coffee already made for us!"
Shaking his head, Dante could very well guess that Vergil was doing his best to stay on the girls' good sides, least their wrath toward his twin turn against him. "So is it safe to come home?" Dante finally asked, though it came out as more of a desperate plea.
Lucia only laughed at that. "Yeah, if you want to be hung up and used for target practice!"
Dante groaned. "You wanna do me a favour then and pull up that pic I had you transfer from my cell phone?"
"I thought we were going to frame it and give it to them for Christmas?"
"Change of plans. I want to come home without ending up as a wall ornament." Dante stated and then added as an after thought, "But maybe we'll wait a Christmas and then do it anyway for the next one."
"Alright," Lucia sighed. "But you owe me big!"
"When don't I?" Dante replied with mock sadness. "Now would you mind handing the phone to Lady?"
"Sure." Lucia said, and then Dante could hear her shouting for the other woman.
The line went quiet for a few moments and then Dante was greeted by Lady's voice. "Yes?"
"Hey!" Dante returned the greeting merrily hoping that some how his good nature might tone down Lady's wrath. He was sorely mistaken on that point and was forced to pull his cell phone a good distance from his ear to prevent any hearing loss as Lady immediately began shouting into the receiver.
After nearly ten minutes of yelling, Dante slowly brought his phone back toward his ear. "Lady. Lady, calm down." He soothed, using the same tone of voice he had used to calm Vergil when he had first woken up.
"Calm down? CALM DOWN?" Lady screeched and Dante was forced to pull his phone back away from his ear as another torrent of curses and foul language came over the receiver aimed at him.
Dante waited another few minutes before resuming his attempts at calming Lady enough to get a word in edgewise. Still more long minutes passed until Dante's ear was finally only subjected to the sound of Lady's furious breathing.
"What… do… you… want?" She snarled out with barely contained fury.
"Easy now." Dante soothed again and then continued. "For starters, I'd like to come home without ending up on the office wall next to one of my trophy heads."
"You've got another thing coming if you think you can just walk in here and…"
"Hang on, hang on!" Dante interrupted before Lady could start yelling at him again. "That's why I've got insurance."
"Insurance?" Lady asked venomously.
"Yup! You mind heading over to the library? Lucia is pulling up something on the laptop." Dante asked politely, pulling away from the wall and praying his gamble would pay off.
"And why should I?" Lady snarled again, being highly uncooperative.
Sighing in exasperation – man, the things it took to get a shower – Dante responded, "Just humour me!"
Lady grumbled incoherently for a few moments and then replied, "Fine! I'm getting the cordless from the kitchen!"
Dante waited many long minutes, wondering for the most part how long it took for her to go into the kitchen and retrieve the cordless phone off the wall when it was only a few feet away – maybe she had to make it first – then finally he heard a click on the other end as the second phone was turned on.
"Alright, what are the terms?" Lady's voice immediately asked in a much more passive tone.
"I'll take it that you're looking at the laptop?" Dante asked with a grin, his fingers moving the memory stick around in his hand again.
"Duh!" she answered snarkily. "What's to say your bad driving didn't just cause that?"
"Suurre," he drew the word out in disbelief. "That's why you look so peaceful and happy, right?" he teased, besides his driving wasn't 'that' bad.
Lady thankfully didn't argue the matter further. "Fine. So what're your terms?"
Dante's grin grew, already thinking about the clean clothes and shower waiting for him at home. "Well for starters you're going to be a good girl and let me back in my home without trying to Kill me!" he stressed the no killing part. "You're also not going to do anything nasty to me when I'm trying to catch some much needed 'z's. And lastly but certainly not least, I want to know that you've got my back the next time we get into a big fight with some demons, monsters or other unfriendly creatures. Kapish?"
Lady was silent as she considered her options.
Deciding to try and push his terms just a little further he continued. "Oh, yeah, and you'll do all my chores and any extras that Trish might bestow upon me."
"Don't push your luck!" Lady snapped instantly. "And what's to say I don't just go and delete this file right now?"
Dante shrugged, too bad she wouldn't go for the chores, but it had been a stretch when he'd thought of it and at least he could safely get back into his home now. At her last words though, he looked down to the small stick in his hand. "You think I would be that dumb as to not make a backup?"
Growling, Lady asked, "A back up that you just happen to have in your hand right now, right?"
"Wow! You know me so well." Dante teased and received another growl for it.
"So no one's seen it?" Lady pressed.
"Nope, just me, Lucia and Trish. And I have to tell you, we all agreed that you guys look sooo cute!" Dante laughed as he teased again.
"Shut up!" Lady snarled, her temper flaring up once more. "Vergil hasn't seen it though?"
The question had a slightly desperate ring to it and Dante's grin grew to devilish proportions. "Nope."
"Good! Then promise me he will 'never' see it!" she responded in relief and then continued with that same desperate plea.
"You've got my word. Scout's honour." Dante promised solemnly and pressed his hand to his heart, even though she couldn't see it. "I'll see you in a bit then." With that, Dante hung up and whistling happily, collected Ebony and Ivory, his keys and wallet and gladly checked out of the motel.
------------------------------
Whistling merrily as he walked in through the back door, Dante hung up his keys and strutted happily toward the kitchen. As he neared the kitchen, he saw Vergil sitting quietly at the table, his hands folded neatly on top. Although he hadn't styled his hair, Dante was happy to note that his brother was wearing the new clothes he had ordered for him.
Steadily moving closer toward the kitchen, Dante was next able to see Lady sitting beside Vergil, an absolutely sour look on her face. In fact if looks could kill, Dante was sure he would have melted into his boots as if some heavy-duty acid had hit him.
Lucia came into view next, sitting on the other side of Vergil, with a clam nearly emotionless look on her face as she once more drank a cup of coffee. Boy, that woman could drink coffee!
Waltzing into the kitchen, Dante was about to greet everyone – since they seemed to have lain out the coming home party for him – when a fist suddenly slammed into the side of his jaw.
"Ow!" Dante yelped in both surprise and pain, automatically ducking away from any subsequent punches. When none came, he straightened up and rubbed his chin ruefully. Looking to everyone, he found Vergil smirking, Lady grinning happily and Lucia watching detachedly. Finally peeking to the side where his attacker had been patiently waiting just out of sight around the corner where the hallway met the kitchen, he found Trish standing with her fists planted on her black leather clad hips.
"Ow," he repeated. "What the hell was that for?" he asked completely upset.
"THAT was for pulling that horrible prank on Lady!" Trish snapped, clearly pissed off.
Though he had to admit, she looked undeniably stunning when she was mad. "Well, I…"
Trish was a lot faster than Dante had ever given her credit for, because he didn't have any time to react before her fist made contact with his face once more. "OW!" he cried out, gaining snickers from Lady and Vergil.
"And That was for running off for two days without so much as even a note!"
Straightening yet again and once more rubbing his painful chin and cheek, Dante glared at Trish, piercing sky blue clashing with deep ocean blue.
When she swiftly moved toward him again, Dante pulled back, fearful that she might hit him again. This time though Trish lightly grabbed his face and pressed her lips hard against his, pushing him back until his back collided with the wall.
Utterly surprised and just a little confused by the abrupt change in the blonde's mood, Dante didn't even think to return her passionate kiss, instead he ended up just standing there and taking it. Only when Trish began to pull back did it register in Dante's momentarily stupefied brain just what it was that he should have been doing.
Trish stepped back, an odd look on her face that on any other woman Dante might have considered lusty. "And that was for getting Lady to stop whining about Leo."
"Hey!" Lady snarled indignantly.
Breaking out into a dumb lopsided grin, Dante glanced over to Lady to see that the nasty sour look had returned to her face and she had pulled her arms across her chest, further bespeaking of her displeasure. Looking back to Trish, he swaggered away from the wall. "Yup, it was…"
Trish's fist coiled again and Vergil spoke up. "Perhaps, brother, you should shut your mouth so long as you are still ahead." He remarked sagely.
Taking his brother's advice, Dante quickly clamped his mouth shut.
Relaxing, Trish waved her hand in front of her nose. "Now, go take a shower! You stink!"
"I'm so under appreciated." Dante grumbled and walked past the others. Pausing at the door, he turned once more toward Trish, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "So, later, you wanna keep going where we left off?" he asked teasingly.
Lifting a long delicate finger, Trish pointed to the door behind him. "Get!" she ordered without deeming to answer his question.
Dante shrugged and pushed open the door. "You don't know what you're missing babe." He threw back over his shoulder.
Leaving the kitchen and heading through the office, Dante heard the footsteps of his brother following him. It was hard to mistake the graceful, purposeful and almost predatory strides of his brother, particularly now that he was outfitted with new boots that hit the wooden floorboards with a soft ring.
"Nice to see you getting back to your normal self." Dante admitted sincerely, pausing at the bottom of the stairs with his hand on the metal rail.
Vergil shrugged indifferently and Dante started up the stairs.
"So," Dante started again trying to get some sort of a conversation out of his brother. "Those clothes all to your liking?"
"They are sufficient." Vergil answered coldly.
"Well, jeez! That's the last time I get something for you." Dante replied sarcastically.
"Would you rather me continue to wear your clothes?" Vergil asked with the same sarcastic tone as Dante had used.
Reaching the top of the stairs, Dante stopped and looked back down at his twin, who was only a few steps lower. "No." he answered after a moment of contemplation. "Guess the change of clothes helped remind the girls that you weren't in fact me, eh?"
Shrugging nonchalantly, Vergil answered with a slight hint of amusement, "Yes, they were a suitable reminder."
"Particularly that coat, eh?" Dante gestured toward the long blue leather trench coat Vergil was wearing over a black silk shirt and black suit pants, before continuing the journey to his room.
"Quite." Vergil answered stiffly. "Any divergence from you is a good thing."
"Yet, surprisingly you still haven't fixed your hair." Dante returned spitefully.
Vergil didn't answer, and reaching the closed door to his room, Dante stopped and looked back toward his brother to find his eyes narrowed into slits, a deep frown gracing his face.
Sighing, Dante examined his brother critically, and found that he was looking much more like the Vergil of memory again. He had packed some weight onto his lean frame – thanks mostly to Trish's cooking – helping him to lose the thin gauntness in his face, returning it to its sharp handsome features. Even his sky blue eyes were also slowly freezing into the great glaciers once more, although for now Dante was still able to see the uncertainty and pain deep within them. So changing the subject, Dante hoped to help his brother let go of those feelings. "So, you want to go see Transformers now?"
Lifting a slender white eyebrow, Vergil visibly debated the question before answering, "Why not. It will be interesting to see with my own eyes how far the technology in such things has come."
"Great!" Dante grinned, there was nothing better than a stroll down memory lane with a favourite childhood friend. "We'll go tomorrow maybe?"
Vergil nodded. "I'll check the theatre listings."
"Perfect!" Dante turned the handle on his door. "I'll convince Trish to give us the day off and you work on Lady and…" Dante immediately stopped speaking as he opened the door and got a good look at his room.
In the end he did the only thing someone in his situation would have done; he screamed. He screamed long and hard causing his twin to burst out laughing.
Dante gazed around his room in horror and revulsion. His posters of cars, women and rock bands had been taken down and replaced with pictures of laughing clowns. The walls behind the clown posters had been painted a horrid bright pink. Thankfully his carpet hadn't been ripped out and replaced, but his bed sheets, blankets and even lamp covers had been changed to complement the freshly painted walls. Cutesy stuffed clowns and bunnies completed the look, sitting on top of a light pink floral comforter.
Grasping the doorframe, Dante felt a sudden need to run to the bathroom and empty his stomach of the nacho and cheese chips he had had earlier in the morning.
The nausea passed and hearing Vergil nearly busting a rib in his laughter, Dante turned with a hurt look on his face, toward his twin.
"You scream like a girl!" Vergil chocked out between fits of laughter.
"It's not funny!" Dante whined childishly. "How could you let them do that?"
"Oh, come now Dante." Vergil whipped tears from his eyes and discontinued his laughter as he replied coldly. "You don't honestly think I would do anything other than stay out of their way?"
"But I'm your brother!" Dante continued to complain helplessly. "I saved your butt from Hell!"
"As I recall I never asked you to do that. Besides, I certainly wasn't going to give those women any reason to turn their wrath on my own personal being." Vergil stated, as if Dante had asked him one of the dumbest questions in the world. "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn, remember brother?" he recited stiffly.
Ignoring the old saying and eyeing his brother suspiciously for a moment, Dante narrowed his eyes. "You helped them didn't you?" he accused.
Vergil shrugged his blue-coated shoulders. "Of course. I could hardly pass up the chance to aggravate you." A smirk pulled at the corner of Vergil's mouth and he added. "And I have to say the reaction was well worth the effort."
Dante glared pointedly at his brother, already having a good guess for what else he would find. "I better not find any of my clothes with pink paint stains on them."
Turning to go, Vergil looked back over his shoulder. "Well I could hardly use my own, seeing as I have so few." He replied innocently, and then headed back toward the stairs. "Nor is pink my colour."
"You're evil, you know that?" Dante returned grouchily.
Pausing again, Vergil looked back over his shoulder once more. "What ever gave you the idea that I wasn't?"
Glaring at his brother's back, Dante wondered for a moment why he had put the effort into rescuing his rather ungrateful twin. Life had been much easier and quieter without him around.
"Where are you going?" Dante growled unhappily, some body was definitely going to help him clean up that mess in his room and if he found his wardrobe replaced… so help him God, there was going to be hell to pay!
Sticking his white-topped head back through the door into the office that he had just passed through, Vergil stated in a matter of fact tone. "I'm going to check the theatre listings." If his brother weren't always so grammatically correct, Dante was sure there would have been a big "Duh!" at the end of that sentence.
Grinding his teeth, Dante watched his brother once again disappear through the door and swivelling back toward his own room, braved the interior to retrieve some clean clothes.
------------------------------
Trish sat with Lucia and Lady in the kitchen happily drinking her coffee. Unfortunately, Lady was still in a huff about her kiss with Dante, but even the raven-haired huntress smiled when they heard Dante's unmistakeable ear splitting scream.
"I think he likes it." Trish grinned around her coffee and all three women burst out laughing.
Author's Notes: I'm terribly sorry for not updating sooner, but winter's just around the corner and I'm no where near ready for it, so you'll just have to bear with me. Also for anybody that was interested… Dante was looking for Starscream in chapter 12! Anyway, hopefully the final two chapters will come out a bit sooner, since they are both written. But if anyone out there has listened to and possibly has the Jet-Set Satellite disk, Vegas. If you have or know the lyrics to the song 'Together' if you could give them to me it would be Highly appreciated! Thanks for all your reviews again and hope you enjoyed this chapter!
PS. Stupid didn't want to accept my usual chapter breaks '' so I'm using the '-' now.