Honesty time! Not all of these words are mine...I was listening to the song Pierrot and I got heavily inspired...so yeah...I admit to my sins. But in my defense, it's only a couple of lines...and they fit in really nicely. And I'm saying it now - I don't own them! But can anyone identify them? ;)
Love, Sunset
Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.
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Len stared in shock. What had he done? He knew Miku's past wasn't exactly sunshine and daisies, but…but…he never expected that. He should have felt angry – for her sake. But instead…he felt numb. Every trouble, every issue he had faced in his life, even if he put them all together, wouldn't have amounted to half of what Miku had endured. He didn't know what to say, what to do, how to comfort her…
Miku was the first to speak. Her voice was cold and marked with bitterness. Her happy and carefree attitude from the morning was gone.
"What's wrong Len? Do you pity me now? Am I poor and pitiable creature?" She let out a harsh laugh. "...No. You probably think I'm stupid. Idiotic. Pathetic. Shameless. Desperate. Or maybe this doesn't bother you at all? Or maybe, I got what I deserved. I mean, I should have known my place, right? Maybe I deserved to be punished? Because how dare I try to shamelessly enter the world of the privileged? Because obviously, I was the one in the wrong. Do you agree with that Len?
...Well? I'm waiting. Aren't you going to say something? Are you going to offer your condolences? Say you're sorry? Tell me that you understand? Come on now. Surely you can manage more than just staring?"
Len silently shook his head. He was horrified. For how long did she silently endure all that pain? Miku wasn't any of those things. She wasn't pathetic or shameless or stupid or anything thing else that wasn't wonderful. He knew this with an undying certainty. But at that moment, his words would have meant nothing. Not only that but...he was scared. He was actually scared of himself.
Was he a person like Kaito? He didn't want to think so. But the way Miku described Kaito was scarily like himself. The popularity. The wealth. The king-like status. The ability to have it all. Even Len knew that if Miku had attended his school, he would have never given her the time of day. But to do what Kaito did...surely that wasn't something he would have done in the future? Surely, he wouldn't have had the nerve to ruin someone so harshly? No. No. It would have never happened. He was sure that even until the end, he would have stayed loyal to Luka. He would have been perfect to the end, even if... No. That wasn't a matter that was important at this very moment. At that very moment, only Miku mattered.
He continued to stare at Miku. She was so hurt and broken. Could he say anything to make it better? He didn't know. Nothing came to mind. Would she even listen? He opened and closed his mouth. Was he just going to say half-assed words? Those would fix nothing. After a moments of deliberation, he decided to reach over and gather the girl in his arms.
Sitting in his lap, Miku resumed talking when suddenly, she looked up at him. "You know, you're actually really pathetic too. At this moment, you're juuuussstt borderlining shameful...It's not even your past and yet...you're crying…" She slowly raised a hand and carefully wiped a tear from from cheek. Staring at the watery drop on her fingertips, she quietly asked "Just how unmanly are you going to be?"
Confused, Len bought his hand to eyes. Him? Crying? His hand came back damp. Ah. So he was.
But instead of protecting his pride like he usually would have done, Len stayed quiet and continued to stare at his hand. That was when he finally found the words he needed to say. Slowly, he leaned down and whispered gently into Miku's ear: "When you're hurt, be in pain. When it's hard, scream. There's nothing shameful about it. You don't have to keep it inside anymore. Everything will be ok...Everything will be ok. It doesn't matter if you can't bear it. And if you're embarrassed to cry alone, then the answer is simple: I'll just cry along with you."
Miku started to shake. Tears started to well up in her eyes. "No. No. No! That's not what you're supposed to say! You're supposed to tell me how stupid I was! You're supposed to tell me how pathetic I was! You're supposed to despise me! You're supposed to laugh!
….Please...please...Don't be nice. I'm begging you...Don't be nice! I don't know what to do if you're nice….."
Len hugged the crying girl tighter. Was it actually possible to love a girl so much? Softly, he told her the answer. "Easy. Just let it all go and cry. There's honestly no shame in doing that now and then. See, even the almighty sun god does it every now and then."
"But this is what, the third time I've cried in two days? I'm overdoing it, don't you think?"
"No. Not at all. This will make up for all the years you kept it inside and suffered on your own…"
In a fit of anger, she glared at him. "...I hate you. I hate you so much. You ruin everything! Absolutely everything….."
But the truth was, she'd never been happier. Even though she just recounted her shameful past and tears were flowing down her cheeks, she had never been happier. As it turns out, there was a boy that could accept her unconditionally. There were such things as miracles after all….
And for the first time ever, Miku allowed herself to truly be sad. Wails escaped from her lips. They echoed throughout the entire clearing. Fat globs of tears rolled down her face. She had been hurt. She had been betrayed. She had been hurt. She had been tossed aside like a piece of trash and the world had only laughed in contempt. Once upon a time, she was deemed worthless. But finally. So many years later, it. was. over.
She must have looked disgusting. Pitiful. An absolute wreck. But for once, she didn't care. Whispered softly under her wails, she heard her favorite lie, "Everything will be ok." Repeated over and over. Maybe one day, she would come to believe them...
Looking to the sky, Miku realized that it had bled into red. Miku felt like she cried for hours, and in truth, she probably did. Her eyes felt all puffy and sore. It was actually a bit hard to see out of them. Not only that but her voice was terribly hoarse. But despite it all, she felt unusually lighter, like some huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Would it be cliché to say that the world looked a lot brighter? But it didn't matter. She was happy. Really, really happy. It had certainly been a long time...
But as she laid on Len's lap, Miku realized something that bothered her a lot. She spoke up. "Hey, Len?" (Yuck. She sounded like a frog.)
He looked down at her. There was a look in his eyes. It was something she couldn't quite identify. But no matter. Fair was fair.
"Tell me a secret. An important one."
For a moment, Len's eyes widened. Sighing, he said, "Seriously? Didn't we just go through an emotional revelation and breakdown? Haven't you had enough for one day?"
Miku pouted. "But it's not fair. I told you something really important and personal. It's only right you do the same."
Len raised his eyebrows at her. 'What a troublesome girl.' He thought. But then he thought about it more. It was time. He decided to accept fate because it all was going to end soon, wasn't it?
Quietly, as if talking to himself, he said, "I discovered the secret to perfection."
Miku raised an eyebrow. "Perfection?"
Len slowly nodded his head. "Yeah. Perfection. You see Miku, I've come to the conclusion that perfection is something that depends from what can be seen from the surface. For example, to 99.2% of the school, I am perfect and I live a perfect life because that is how I currently seem. To them, I am naturally smart and naturally athletic. I'm handsome, I'm charming, I have a great personality, I get what I what, my parents are loaded and I have a hot girlfriend. I have no quirks and while I can be mean, it's an acceptable type of mean. And that's only the tip of the iceberg.
But the truth?
Well for starters, you and I both know that I have a shitty personality. I was actually pretty chubby in my middle school days to the point that I was made fun for it. I'm lucky no one seems to remember that though I had to work really to look this great. I'm 'naturally' nothing because I have to study my ass off to get the grades I do and I have to practice privately in order to keep up with everyone else. And quite honestly, what use are parents when they're never around? To make matters worse, I'm pretty sure they're cheating on each other, ya know?
I know you know all of this. But everyone in school doesn't. And that's the difference between you and them. They think I'm perfect and you think I'm not. You...you know the real me, while them? They only see what I want them to see.
So you see Miku?
Perfection is the art of hiding every imperfection from sight. Perfection is the act of burying every flaw so deep under the ground that even you forget you had the flaw to begin with. It's lying so beautifully that you even fool yourself."
It was then that Len let out a dark laugh. "But that's not the best part." Out of no-where, he stood up, dragging Miku up along with him. "Come on Miku. Let's go. I'll show you the best part. I'll show you the greatest imperfection in perfect Len Kagamine's life." As he spoke, he continued to pull Miku up before heading towards the school.
Worried, Miku called out. "L-Len? Where are we going?"
Another dark chuckle. "Don't worry. You'll see."
But when they got to the school, Len cursed. "Fuck! The school's closed already. I guess it's later than I thought. No matter, I'll just show you tomorrow. Yeah. Tomorrow is when the facade ends..."
