Chapter 14: Spilling Secrets
Screaming. Its never pleasant not when you're the one screaming or the one listening to it. I knew it but at the moment its what I felt like doing. I had woken up in a strange bed, in a strange, room, in a strange place. I'd never been to wherever I was before I knew because the air was different not as innocent a it was in my familiar places nor did have the heaviness of all the weight that clung to everything at my house and at school. But the air did hold a secret that much I could tell...a secret it would willingly divulge if given the chance to be heard by someone who would truly care. I wanted to know its secret wanted to release it from it burden but how do you say that to the wind?
The next thing I noticed that was different was that Moonlight was not at my side and never in the three years that I had had her had I woken up without her there at my side. It was odd feeling that I wanted no part of...it made me feel naked and awkward like I couldn't be sure of anything. As if I was the most vulnerable prey that had ever lived. I begged my throat to speak her name but it wouldn't comply with my wishes though that could be because they were half hearted attempts because for as much as I wanted to feel her comforting warmth I was to afraid to hear nothing but silence answer my call.
The forest incident had not left me and I felt heart quell in fear at the possibilities as to why she wouldn't come or even why she was not by my side. Terror filled me accompanied by anguish the two emotions that were common in my life but that I had not had to face alone recently. Three years in fact.
The what if possibilities that ran through my head were only as bad as they were because I couldn't help but know that whatever her fate had been it was because of me. I had ignored her whimpers and insistent pleads to turn back and go home. I had perhaps caused my only friend, the only living, or non living thing for that matter, to care about me, death. If not death at least a significant amount of pain and I wondered how she could ever forgive me of that or if I should even be forgiven.
I felt a sob well up in my throat but I forced myself to choke it down. I wouldn't allow myself to cry it only showed weakness and weakness shown to someone is bad enough but letting be seen by no one was unacceptable. It was odd logic I knew but it was the only logic that made sense to me right then.
With an unsteadiness belonging to a child learning to takes is first steps I stood and tried to find the door. Luckily for me it was almost directly in front of the end of the bed. With only about a ten foot gap in between. I had to give it to whoever's room this was it was set up nicely and clean. I could tell that by how many times I'd fallen the floor was littered with nothing and I was falling over air. When I had finally reached the doorway I opened the door hesitantly waiting for whatever had attacked us to come rushing me again but I knew that irrational to believe it would. That thing, beast some would call it, I simply called it an animal we were all that...both figuratively and scientifically.
The air was closer together and I could tell immediately that the space had shrunk immensely compared to the room I was stepping out of. It was a hallway or landing depending on whether where I was standing was second story or higher. I hoped that I was still on ground level...gravity didn't like me and the floor tended to be unforgiving. I had bigger issues to deal with then being afraid of falling but the fear of pain of any kind I tended to shy away from even if that meant embracing the physical pain of a fall to get away from the pain of not having Moonlight by my side.
My luck wasn't on my side there was stairs and if I wanted answers I'd have to get down them. Hoping and yet knowing I looked stupid I sat on my but and slowly slid down each one. The jarring sensation gave me a slight headache and I as soon as I began to wonder when the steps would stop they did. Getting up unsteadily my hand searched for a wall so I could have more support then just thin air, reaching one I gripped to it as a drowning person clutches a flotation device.
"Hello!" I called out my voice trembling slightly as I listened hard and heard nothing except the seemingly impossible loudness of my racing heart. Nothing met me but silence I couldn't even hear the chirp of the birds or the rustling of leaves in the wind.
"Hello!" I yelled louder fear truly starting to set in. I hated the silence and the resounding thuds that continued to come from my chest loudly.
"Moonlight? Moonlight...Moonlight!" My voice was turning hysteric by time I screamed her name the last time. Quite close by perhaps in the next room I heard glass shatter with a piercing crash and before i could turn and try and make an escape back up the steps I felt something strong and furry plow into me. Knocking me down to my but I sat there trying to orientate myself.
Suddenly a sound more heavenly and angelic then that of the trumpets of heaven was a soft low whine that could belong to only one creature. Moonlight. With a gasp of surprise I felt a smile spread across my face as I spread my arms out and heard her feet pad softly and yet quickly over to me until her head rested on my shoulder. As i wrapped my arms around her body I let my hands run over her belly, sides, legs and head to make sure she was ok. There was nothing that would indicate injury and yet that made even less sense because I knew the attack was not a dream. Then again I also knew that I didn't know where I was and the glass that Moonlight had shattered was more then likely very expensive.
I let myself bury my head into he neck while tears began seeping through my closed eye lids. Relief swept through my body as I truly began to realize that my only friend was alright. My shoulders began shaking as I let sobs wrack my body. I felt no shame in my tears and as I felt Moonlight pull back enough so that her nose was touching mine. The wet cold of it sent shivers down my spine and caused Goosebumps to pop out on my arms and back.
"I'm glad to see that you're up and moving around though i am slightly curious as to how you got down all them steps." An amused but calm voice spoke in front of me. Letting go of Moonlight quickly as if I had been burned I looked at the sopot where the voice had come from. It was Carlisle Edward's father which meant something that I found deeply disturbing.
"I slid." Was my short reply as i once more stroked moonlight fur. The action bringing me calm and clarity.
"Ah." Was Carlisle's even shorter response and I bit my lip to hide the smile that wanted to claim my lips. I had questions. Questions that needed answers and that wouldn't leave until they gotten them.
Perhaps my curiosity was once more getting the better of me and perhaps I had hti my head during the attack but suddenly i felt odd. As if suddenly the man in front of me was prey and the secrets that he kept was the only thing I ate as the predator. It was a peculiar feeling and it caused my heart to race and blood to pump and for a second I hoped Edward was no where around if my suspicions of him being a vampire were correct.
You have a beautiful home." I told him simply and I spoke the truth. Though I could see nothing of it I could tell my the amount of steps and the way that sound echoed off the ceiling and walls that it was a huge home. Also the architecture was that of and earlier centaury...I could tell by the wall that I had been holding onto and how the stairs had been positioned...plus some instinct told me that it fit with them. I didn't really understand the feeling but I knew it wasn't leading me astray as it had never done so before.
"Thank you." I heard his uncertainty and hesitancy as if wondering how to respond to a complement given to him about how beautiful his house was by a blind girl. I couldn't help let a ghost smile adorn my features...I couldn't help but give Carlisle a small complex.
"You're welcome. But if you don't mind me asking how did I get to be here at your house." Amazing how a simple sentence can cause such tension. Small whooshing sounds as if the air was being stirred very fast by many different people filled my sensitive ears and I felt my head tilt instinctively towards the noise.
"Umm...Edward and Emmett were out hiking in the woods...they came upon you being attacked by a bear...It luckily had gotten to you and Moonlight was doing a good job of holding her own." Lies. I knew as Carlisle talked he was lying i knew it within my very bones. I had recognized four people that had joined Carlisle and me but had yet to make any noise to announce themselves, Jasper, Alice, Edward, and Emmett.
"A bear huh?" I let my voice go weak for effect while letting my head fall down so I would have been looking at my feet if I could see them.
"Yeah...You Ok? Need to sit down?" Careful i warned myself approach this subject with caution and know when to strike.
"I think we all need to sit down. Dr. Cullen, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and the two other people whom I have no idea who you are." I tried not to sound rude but a bit of rudeness was in order. They had to know that I wanted answers that I knew it wasn't a bear that had attacked.
With a sinking feeling and a knot in my gut my mind told me that if Edward was a vampire then he wouldn't live in a house hold full of humans he'd live with other vampires that were just like him. I came to realize that this family that I was sitting with...whom if all things that were said from people at school were true they were close to, if not, perfect. If my thinking was accurate I was in a house filled with vampires one of which had already tried to kill me and in knowing that I felt fear.
Self-Preservation was a feeling that runs strong through my veins and yet here I was telling vampires to sit...here I was planning on bringing their lives crashing down around them and in the end I knew doing so could very well cost me my life. But it did not stop me and I couldn't help my heart that quickened as I felt and heard Edward sit down next to me. Moonlight merely scooted over to him and whined as if she was extremely happy to see him. Hiding my shock that I wasn't to shocked at her behavior I couldn't help but notice that tension had already filled and thickened the air.
Great, I haven't even gotten to the good part yet and the tension can already be cut with a knife. My thoughts were sarcastic and my blood raced through my veins and the more I tried to still it the harder my heart seemed to pump it.
"What's wrong Bella?" Came Edward's soft caring voice that was tinged half with pure curiosity the other half filled with doubt. I almost laughed he was uncertain and yet he still had to be polite an ask what was wrong with me.
"Nothing's wrong Edward. Its just that its secret telling time." Or more like admitting to what I was pretty sure I already knew. I felt Edward gasp and the rest in the room hold their breath that I knew were unneeded.
"Wha..." He was to much in shock to even form a single word. My heart if possible beat faster and my self preservation instinct yelled louder to stop and run away. But I couldn't.
'Always finish what you start because if you don't the assumptions of what you might have said can be far worse then the reactions to what you were actually going to say.' James had once told me that back when i first met him and would never finish my sentences. It had annoyed him to no end and thinking back I couldn't help the small sad smile that graced my features.
"Edward, didn't we just have this disscussion a few days ago? We all have secrets in our lives and we should be able to keep those secrets secret, at least until those secrets threaten the life of another. So I have a question what do you make of vampires?" If ever there was an award for shock effect when it comes to their words I do believe I should have gotten it. Half of me laughed at their stunned silence the other half though whimpered in a corner knowing that all chance of escape was lost.
"Um..wh--why do you a--ask?" I felt myself smile internally as I opened my mouth to speak again. My newly found motto was if you're digging yourself a hole you might as well dig it deeper to make it comfortable.
"Strike One. See the right answer would have been 'oh their an urban legend.' or something of that nature. I already know that Edward over here is one though I do not believe that he is exactly like that of the mythological vampires. Which would also suggest that you all aren't like the vampires of lore. Which in turn brings me to my first question, what kind of vampires are you?" It wasn't subtle in the least and yet I knew no other way to bring it up.
"Alright say Edward is a vampire what makes you think that the rest of us are?" Jasper said this and in it I felt another victory.
"Strike two. The right answer would be 'are you on crack? Edward isn't a vampire. To answer your question it would not make sense for a vampire who feeds off blood to live in a house full of humans that seemed always to be unharmed. Which leads me to believe that the rest of you would also have to be vampires." I tried to keep the smugness out of my voice but I couldn't help it when it showed through slightly. It wasn't everyday when I was able to call someone out on their secrets they were usually doing that to me and this one small victory, though i knew it could bring about my demise, left me feeling satisfied.
Silence. It was deafening and for a moment I couldn't help but wonder if this was what a deaf person heard. No birds chirping, no leaves rustling, no breathing in the room except my own and even that seemed muted to the point that all I could hear was the vibrations in my chest. The silence was so powerful, so poignant that it could very well make ears bleed if dwelled on...for though it was silent the silence itself was loud to an over powering extent.
"We're vegetarians. Our inside joke if you will...we feed of animals instead of humans. Though the smell of human blood is always more tempting then animal blood and for that we must always be on our guard, to never lose control of our instincts. See we want to live among the humans not off them. There is only one other coven like ours all the others take the lives of humans to sustain themselves." Carlisle's description of what they were and how they generally lived their life made me feel an over powering respect for all of them. This family was handed a curse and instead of following the rules like all the others they created their own, turning a damnation into a redemption.
I lost myself in my thoughts of awe and respect...forgetting they were still waiting for my reaction.
"Bella? Bella. Bella, I'll take you home if that's what you want?" Edward's voice was concerned and worried smiling a little I pulled myself out of my musings.
"Why would I want to go home. Edward?" I asked politely but truly curious as to why he thought I wanted to flee.
"Because you know what we are...monsters, freaks of nature." His voice so calm and yet he spoke as if to a five year old. Hr believed his words and yet his thinking was faulty.
"Why do you think you are those things?" I asked truly curious.
"Because we kill on a regular basis and all the time we are fighting the battle of resisting human blood...in which sometimes that battle is to much and we fall off killing more innocents then should ever die out of cold blood." He was trying to scare me. To show me that they were dangerous but that was something I already knew. The power they had radiated off of them in waves and it scared me. But more because I had, had only the vaguest of suspicions that Edward and his family were vampires...but today within moments they had confirmed those suspicions. For once what my gut told me scared me but right now my fear was unimportant.
"Edward, We all kill. Most think that the number one law of survival is 'kill or be killed. Perhaps to an extent that is true. Though I believe there is another more overlooked law that should, not come before it, but be noted as its equal. Its a law that kind of goes like this 'for something to live something else must die.' sure your circumstances are different unique compared to what others do but we still need something's life to keep living ours. You're no different then any other species in that regard...you're more powerful then any other but you still have all species, even humans, fatal flaw. Their need for food. If that makes monster or freak of nature then hell we're all freaks, we're all monsters." Silence met my speech. a silence I couldn't really decipher but silences last only for a short while.
"Jesus, Edward, you said she was bright you never said she was philosopher and a very pretty one at that." Laughed a male's voice. It was a voice I did not recognize but I couldn't help but blush at their words. They were wrong...I was a philosopher and though I couldn't be sure i didn't think I was pretty.
"Yes, well...perhaps what ever name is could answer a few questions for me?" My voice was sweet and I heard the air once more turn serious.
"I'll try." Said the suddenly meek voice of the male to whom I still didn't know. I bit my tongue so as not to release the comment that wanted to spew forth about his sudden change of demeanor.
"Good. So which one of you was the one who attacked me?" Death. Somehow i wondered if it was this quiet. The silence that came from my question stunned even me the one who was used to silence.
"Th--that would...be me..." Ahh that would explain the sudden change of demeanor...poor guy probably thinks I'm going to yell at him.
"And would you be Emmett?"
"Yes." Trepidation aligned his voice and I drew a deep breath so as not to laugh.
Holding out my right hand in the direction his voice came I smiled.
"Nice to meet you Emmett. I'm Bella Swan." I felt a hand swallow mine and start shaking it. Hard.
"Alright Emmett let go." Came Edward's stern voice and thankfully Emmett let go.
"Sorry." He said sheepishly and I couldn't help but laugh. Surprising everyone in the room except for Moonlight, whom seemed extreamly pleased.
I went to sleep that night not thinking about the fact that i had laughed more that day then any other time at least in a long while. I didn't wonder why the Cullens allowed me to let my guard down so quickly but I did. But i didn't think of that all I thought of was that I had, had fun. And that thought was enough to lull me to sleep with a smile on my face with a hand resting on Moonlight's head.
A/N Is there any excuse? Yes there is one but I've found they rarely mean much...but know that I haven't had any internet connection to the computer that hold all my chapters and no way to get them to you. But now I do and hopefully fates willing I won't go this long in between chapters again.
Also I know you have a lot of questions I know i would but please be patient all questions will be answered and the very few that aren't well I'll answer then in an author's note at the end of the story.
Please tell me what you think of this chapter because it has been the hardest to write