Disclaimer- Stephenie still owns the usual suspects.
I own my original characters and original story.

Thanks once again to the gracious and lovely aurellacullen for her beta/prereading work.

Still a continuation of the year in Bella's life which started in chapter 9.

You may need to buckle up for this one.

*************P*S*************

Chapter 13

-Summer-Bella, age 16 years…

"I call 'em snowbirds." Wanda's southern drawl made me smile. It reminded me of my Nana. I gave her a questionin' look. "These customers." She explained while gesturin' toward the tables closest to us.

I'd gotten a summer job at the diner and even though I wasn't scheduled to start for another three weeks, Wanda, the senior waitress, was showin' me the ropes.

"They leave their homes up north just after Christmas in order to winter in Florida. Then long about April, they start headin' back home. I see a lot of the same faces year after year. Stoppin' here to have a meal is a tradition for a fair number of them." She gestured toward the tables again while her voice dropped to a whisper. "Seems to me that these here are stragglers; you don't normally see them travellin' through after May."

It had been a month since the disastrous weekend of Edward's prom.

The past few weeks had been… tryin' to say the least.

I spoke with him daily; but with each call, I could never predict his mood. Some days he was grumpy, borderin' on angry; others he was so quiet that I could barely get him to say more than a few words.

The worst however, were the days that I suspected he had, despite his promises, self-medicated. I confronted him each and every time. As expected, those conversations always ended in an argument.

The days of meek little Bella, who stood by and hoped for things to 'right themselves', were over. I was fightin' for my future with Edward which I felt slippin' further from my grasp with each passin' day.

The fact was, unless he was well, both physically and emotionally, Edward wouldn't have a happy future, with or without me.

Every time I suspected that he was usin', I would tell someone in his family. Often it wasn't necessary, because Carlisle and Esme had cracked down on Edward like never before, and were monitorin' his behavior closely. Well, as closely as parents with careers and a new baby on the way could…

But, as I learned from Alice, unless Edward's parents were willin' to lock him in his room, he would still find a way to acquire drugs or alcohol. Even with limited funds, he always found a way.

He never once admitted to usin', however my squealin' to his family, as he called it, had caused even more tension between us. I never knew what his mood was gonna be on any given day so, by the time graduation weekend arrived, I wasn't certain if he'd be glad to see me or not.

He'd been disappointed when I told him about my job, no doubt hopin' we'd be spendin' the entire summer together. I tried to explain that I needed to save as much money as possible before startin' college in a year. My conscience wouldn't allow me to ask my Daddy to pay for everythin'.

My boss at the diner had been very understandin' when I explained about my boyfriend graduatin' and me wantin' to spend two weeks with him and his family before startin' full-time.

I doubt she'd have been so nice about it if I wasn't Charlie Swan's daughter. Every time she saw me, Sue made certain to ask how he was. When I teased Daddy about it, he blushed all the way to his ears.

***P*S***

"He seems to be making a real effort now Bella," Alice's voice sounded hopeful when I spoke to her a few days before the trip to Pennsylvania. "He finally agreed to attend our family counseling sessions. He just sat there, but the mere fact that he agreed has to mean something, right?"

"I think so," I tried to sound hopeful as well. Edward had confided that he planned to attend the family sessions in addition to his own individual sessions, but said no more than that. I was prayin' with all my heart that this would have a positive impact.

"You okay, Bells?" Daddy asked.

"Um, sure," I paused to glance at my Daddy as he drove. "Just a lot on my mind, ya know?"

The fact was that I wasn't okay.

Not at all.

Knowin' that I'd see Edward in a few short hours had caused me to replay last night's conversation in my head until I was drivin' myself crazy.

He'd been so upset.

It seemed that Esme was havin' problems with high blood pressure, and the doctor had insisted she avoid any stressful situations. If they weren't able to stabilize it soon, he would have no choice but to put her on bed rest.

She only worked part-time and had intended to leave once the baby was born anyway, so she used the opportunity to go ahead and resign early.

The worry about his mother's health seemed to have an effect on Edward. From what I could tell, he'd spent the past few days tryin' his best not to cause his parents any undue stress.

However, accordin' to Edward, his efforts still weren't good enough for Carlisle. He claimed that if he was as much as five minutes late returnin' home, his daddy would tear into him about it.

I tried to soothe Edward by tellin' him that his father was only lashin' out because he was worried about Esme and the baby, much like his son did when he was upset.

"Even when I make an effort to do what's right, I'm still a fuck-up in his eyes," he seethed over the phone line. "I may as well go out and do what I want."

I swallowed hard, "Edward, you promised me."

He laughed bitterly. "Yeah, there's that." He was silent for a moment, as he seemed to be thinkin' about somethin'. "Bella, he's only pissed off at me because I refused his fucking help. He's a total control freak. Just because I didn't let him hold my hand and tell me that I did nothing wrong and that things that happened, weren't my fault, he's resentful." He took a shudderin' breath. "He can't stand that I handled things my own way…"

"Edward," I chastised, "your father isn't like that. Besides, you weren't handlin' it…"

He cut me off, "Oh, that's right; you agree with him. I guess I was stupidly hoping that my girlfriend would take my side for once." He blew out a frustrated breath.

"Edward, I am on your side, why can't you see that?"

He was silent for a long moment before I heard him sigh. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm trying Bella, I really am. It's so hard." His voice broke, causin' my heart to clench. "Don't give up on me, okay?"

"Never."

***P*S***

I wasn't surprised when Edward didn't greet us upon our arrival that afternoon.

"He's been hiding in his room all day," Alice whispered in my ear when she reached in to give me a hug.

While Daddy chatted with Esme and Carlise, Alice helped me carry the bags upstairs.

I stood in the middle of Alice's room, bitin' my lip nervously. "I guess I should go…" I gestured with my thumb in the direction of Edward's room.

Alice nodded and gave me an encouragin' smile.

As soon as Edward heard me call his name from the other side, the door swung open, and I found myself bein' pulled into his arms. "Glad you're here." He murmured into my hair.

"Me too."

After a moment, I pulled back to look at him. Other than the usual exhaustion, I had to admit that he looked better; healthier than he had in early May. I ran my fingertips over the scruff along his jaw and smiled my approval.

He returned the smile easily.

***P*S***

"Okay, so if you're not too tired, I'd like to take you out tonight." Edward suddenly announced from the doorway, startlin' me. The book I'd been holdin' flew from my hands, landin' on the floor with a thud.

He crossed the room, an amused expression on his face as he retrieved the book and turned it over. "Bella, were you snooping at my yearbook?"

"No," I answered too quickly as I felt my face flame.

He smirked, not believin' me for a minute. "Curious as to what my classmates, specifically the girls may have written?" he teased.

"Not snoopin'", I defended before lettin' my shoulders slump in defeat and starin' down at the floor. "Okay, I saw it lyin' there and after you left the room, it just called to me." I was thoroughly ashamed of myself. "I'm sorry," I whispered, not able to look him in the eyes.

He startled me again by laughin' loudly before pullin' me down on the bed and sprawlin' out beside me. "Silly girl," he whispered before kissin' my lips. "I have nothing to hide." I watched as, at the sound of his own words, a pained expression crossed his face. He blinked several times, cleared his throat, and the smile returned. "Anyway," he pulled me closer, "as I was saying, I want to take you out. I just cleared it with my parents and your father." He said with a roll of his eyes.

"Like on a date?"

"Yes, a date. I realize that I've been one poor fucking excuse for a boyfriend lately," he frowned, "I want a chance to make it up to you."

My heart fluttered in my chest at the sight of the boy I'd missed so much durin' the past eight months. "I'd like that." I whispered.

It felt as if I'd been granted a new lease on life. My Edward was back.

Our date was everything I could have hoped for. Edward knew me too well to take me to some big, fancy restaurant. Instead, we ate cheese steaks at a little retro diner in the city, and afterwards took in a showing at the dollar movie theater around the corner.

Edward was playful and charmin', but that little voice in my head made sure to remind me that appearances could be deceivin'. I knew that deep down; Edward was still a very troubled soul.

…I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around,
and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,
not even close…

not even a little bit…

not even at all.

I found myself still smilin' as we exited the theater, headed for Edward's car. "I enjoyed that, thanks for takin' me." I gave him a smile as I looped my arm through his.

"It was good." He mused. Once we were in the car he turned to me. "You know Bella, I'm not even gonna ask what you hate about me because that list has got to be long, and I don't know if I can handle hearing it right now."

I frowned and shook my head furiously in an attempt to argue. He held his hand up to stop me before reachin' across the console and takin' one of my hands in both of his. He stared down at them as he continued. "In an effort to be completely honest, I need to tell you that you were right when you accused me of using during the past month or so." He sighed loudly. "I'm not proud of myself for it. It's just that you have a right to know."

I nodded and then asked him somethin' I'd been avoidin' for months. "When you say that you've been 'usin', what exactly does that involve?"

He closed his eyes and blew out a long breath. "At first, months ago when I was only drinking, I would go to JD's because he was supplying me. There always seemed to be a party going on, so I usually would hang out there for a while. A few minutes always turned into hours, and it didn't take long before I was sampling anything and everything that JD had put in front of me."

I could feel my blood boilin' with hatred for JD.

"I'm not gonna lie, I tried several different drugs Bella, while looking for an escape from the hell I was living through." He rubbed a hand over his eyes as he continued. "Suffice it to say that I'm really trying to stay away from them now. I want to be worthy of you, but I would understand if you decide not to go to Chincoteague with us. I mean, I broke my promise; more than once…"

I placed my fingers on his lips, silencin' him. "Edward. Thank you for bein' honest, but I knew you were lyin' before."

"You did?"

I nodded. "Yes. Your mood swings are a dead giveaway."

He squeezed his eyes shut, his expression painful, "God, how you must hate me right now."

I touched his cheek with my hand and quoted the movie we'd just seen, with a sad smile on my face, "Not even a little bit… not even at all."

He wrapped his arms around me then, "I love you so much," his voice broke as he breathed the words into my ear.

***P*S***

I sat next to Alice listenin' to the principal of the high school drone on about the events of the past few years, and what challenges lay ahead for this group of graduates. He struck me as the type of person who loved the sound of his own voice, and I silently wished the ceremony was over, knowin' that by that time tomorrow, we'd be in Chincoteague...

Suddenly, the memory of my Nana's voice came clear to my mind "Isabella honey, tomorrow will get here soon enough, don't go wishin' your life away…"

I smiled at the memory.

Alice's sharp intake of breath caused me to glance in her direction. She was worryin' her lip and starin' at the stage with wide eyes. I turned to look in that direction as well, only to find the principal still talkin'. As soon as my mind registered the words bein' said, I froze.

"None of us will ever forget the horrific events of that night, and the tragic loss suffered by the Cullen family. All of our hearts broke upon learning the news of the senseless act of violence which tore young Daniel Cullen from the loving arms of his parents and siblings, one of whom is graduating here tonight."

Esme's loud sob soundin' from Alice's other side, startled me into takin' a breath. I immediately worried about Edward's reaction to what we were hearin'.

My eyes searched the sea of blue robed graduates seated in front of the stage, and I had to fight against the urge to run down there just to make certain that he was okay.

"Why doesn't that fool stop talking." Alice spat out the words, just as I felt my Daddy's arm reach around my shoulders and pull me into his side.

Thankfully, at that point, the principal left the subject of Daniel's death behind and went on to remind the graduates of how their time at Lang had prepared them for the years ahead. I couldn't listen any more. I was too sick with worry over how Edward was coping.

When they finally called his name in order that he might receive his diploma, I watched him as he made his way up the stairs, his head bowed almost to his chest. I glared, wishin' I could bore a hole through that stupid principal as he shook Edward's hand and patted his shoulder in what I supposed was meant to be a gesture of support.

Idiot.

***P*S***

"How are you?" My eyes searched Edward's face once the graduation was over and we'd gathered outside the hall to take photos.

"I'm good." His demeanor was calm, but I noticed he didn't let his gaze meet mine when he answered.

He was broodin', but hidin' it well.

Esme had been visibly shaken by the day's events so, for his mother's sake, Edward made a monumental effort to appear normal when we went to dinner a short time later. I seemed to be the only one who wasn't fooled.

***P*S***

There was no denyin' that I was a bit nervous. After all, the last time Edward had taken me to a 'party', it had ended in disaster.

"Where are we goin' again?"

Edward blew out a breath, "Don't worry Bella. We're not going to JD's."

"I never thought that we were." I lied.

I was wishin' that I'd been able to convince Alice to come with us, but she'd insisted that she would feel like a third wheel, and had plans to hang out with Ryan and a couple of other friends that evenin'.

"We won't stay long, I promise."

"Really?" I attempted to relax back into the seat, hopin' that he was bein' honest.

A few minutes later, we pulled into a long, windin' driveway and parked in front of a large sprawlin' stone house. If possible, the residents in this neighborhood were even more affluent than the ones in Edward's.

I looked down at my clothes, chosen from the sale rack at Target, and sighed.

We followed the sound of music around to the back yard. The place was packed with teenagers drinkin', smokin', and bein' a little rowdy.

I never saw a single adult.

"Who lives here?" I whispered yelled as Edward led me by the hand through the crowd.

Once inside the house, he pulled me into a hallway, just off the kitchen where it was less noisy. "This kid I graduated with named Fitz, he lives here with his Dad."

I looked back the way we'd come. People were definitely drinkin' alcohol, but I didn't see any signs of drug use. "Is his Dad okay with the drinkin'?"

Edward smirked. "Probably not, but Fitz pulls shit like this all the time and never gets in trouble. If his Dad comes home, he'll break up the party for sure, but he pretty much lets Fitz get away with anything so that he won't move back in with his Mom."

I rolled my eyes. "Great parentin'."

Edward shrugged.

We mingled and talked with some of Edward's classmates, Edward appeared to be enjoyin' himself, so I tried not to let on that I wanted nothin' more than to go back to his parents' house and spend some time with him alone.

For months, possibly even years after that night, I'd wished that we had left the party early or, at the very least, that I had stayed by Edward's side instead of searchin' out the restroom at the precise moment that I did.

I left him talkin' to Phillip, the boy I'd met at JD's apartment, and some other guy named Christian.

The line outside of the bathroom was fairly long, so it was some time before I was able to return to Edward.

As soon as I exited the bathroom, I heard a lot of commotion which seemed to be comin' from the back of the house. I had to push my way past several people in order to be able to see through the French doors toward the back patio.

The sight that met my eyes, made my stomach lurch.

Edward, his lip bleedin' and shirt torn, was yellin' curses and clenchin' his fists, while several boys held him back. I pushed through the crowd as I tried to get to him. "Edward!" I called causin' him to turn toward me, his expression angrier than I'd ever seen before.

I glanced to the side, and stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of Jamie Hunter, with a bruised and bloody face, also bein' held back by two of Edward's classmates.

"Fuck you Cullen that shit wasn't my fault!" He shouted.

"No, it's my fault for ever being friends with you; you're poison." Edward shouted as tears of rage streamed down his face. "I'd like to wring your fucking neck!"

As soon as I was close enough to touch him, I placed my hands on either side of Edward's face, "Edward," I soothed as I forced him to look at me. "Please, Edward. He's not worth it."

The angry light in his eyes seemed to dim for just a moment.

That was until Jamie opened his stupid mouth again. "Yeah? Well, get in line Cullen. You're not the first person to want me dead." Then an evil laugh escaped Jamie's lips. "You of all people should remember that; you were there." He laughed again.

I kept my eyes on Edward as his entire body began to shake.

The only excuse for what Jamie said next was the fact that he was obviously drunk. "Maybe next time, since you don't have a brother to spare anymore, you or little Swan can take the bullet intended for me."

At that moment, I knew that not even ten men could have kept Edward from lungin' at Jamie. He got several hits in, and took a few as well before the boys were able to pull them apart again.

"Fucking leave Hunter, you weren't invited." A boy, who I assumed to be Fitz, shouted angrily.

Jamie stood and wiped the blood from his lip. "Some of you assholes used to be my friends," he sneered.

"Not anymore," Fitz answered. "Now get the hell out of here."

Jamie pushed away the arms that had been restrainin' him. "S'alright, Blake's sister's having a party, and Amber doesn't treat her friends like shit." With that, he disappeared into the night.

It took several minutes to calm Edward down.

Once he emerged from the bathroom after cleanin' up, the look in his eyes told me somethin' was off. His anger was palpable, and was rollin' off his body in waves. His eyes were red rimmed, but the pupils were wide and dark.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Never better," he said through clenched teeth. "Let's get out of here." He grabbed my hand and didn't let go until we'd reached the car.

"Edward, are you sure you're okay to drive?"

"I said I'm fine," he barked, "Now get in the fucking car."

I reminded myself that he was upset, and tried not to think about how he'd spoken to me. I was just thankful that we were leavin'.

I tried to rein in the panic I began to feel when, instead of headin' toward his parents' house, he turned onto an unfamiliar street which was crowded with parked cars. "Where are we goin'?" I blurted before I could stop myself.

"I need to take care of something Bella, stop asking so many questions and let me drive!"

I sat back in the seat as if I'd been slapped, but didn't have time to get hurt feelin's, I was too frightened. I watched as he furiously gripped at the steerin' wheel, the knuckles on his right hand swollen from when he'd punched Jamie.

He slowed down, seemingly to find a place to park. As he approached what looked like an expensive sports car idlin' in the street, I could see two people standin' beside the open driver's side door. Once we got close enough, my breath caught in my throat when I recognized them to be Blake and Jamie.

They were arguin'.

Edward suddenly threw the car into park and jumped out, swiftly movin' in their direction. As soon as Jamie saw him, he climbed back in his car and shut the door. I was frozen in my seat as I watched Edward hurl obscenities, while beatin' wildly on the window with his fists. Blake grabbed at his arm, tryin' to pull him away, but Edward shook him off.

Before I was able to blink, Jamie tore off down the street and Edward was back beside me in the car, throwin' it into gear and chasin' after him.

His eyes were fixed on the road ahead, a murderous expression on his face as he drove faster and faster, until we were merely inches away from Jamie's back bumper.

I tried pleadin' for him to stop this madness and turn around, but he never tore his eyes from the vehicle ahead, not even to acknowledge that he'd heard me.

"Edward, please!" I begged, by this time there were tears streamin' down my face as we drove faster and faster over the windin' roads. I held on for dear life and turned to look through the front window just in time to see Jamie take a turn too fast. His car started to swerve, but luckily he was able to regain control in time.

Instead of slowin' down when he approached the same turn, to my horror, Edward pressed his foot down harder on the accelerator.

"Edward, no! Please, please, slow down!" I whimpered just before I felt the car begin to swerve off the pavement.

Edward slammed on the brakes and clutched desperately at the wheel, but it was too late.

My body was thrown toward the console between us with such force that it felt as if the seatbelt was goin' to strangle me. I grabbed for it and lost all sense of direction as the vehicle continued to swerve and spin across the wet ground toward the trees.

The spinning motion finally stalled when the side of the car came in contact with another object, I remember for a split second prayin' that we hadn't somehow slammed into Jamie's car, before the squealin' and groanin' sound of twistin' metal filled the air around me; added to that was the sound of breakin' glass as the window beside me shattered.

All noise and sense of movement ceased as soon as I felt a sharp pain in my head and, at the same moment, everythin' around me went dark.

***P*S***

Pain…

So much pain…

My arm, my side, but the worst was the pain in my head…

I heard the sound of metal groanin' under protest; it seemed vaguely familiar somehow, but I couldn't quite remember why.

I could hear muffled voices soundin' from what seemed far away. I thought I even heard Edward callin' my name.

Was he cryin'?

It had to be a dream, but it was the strangest one I could ever recall.

I let that thought go.

It hurt to think.

Pain…

Blindin' pain which blocked out everythin' else as it pulled me down into the deep blackness of sleep.

***P*S***

When the fog in my head dissipated a little, I noticed that the pain was less. The only sensation that registered was the feelin' of bein' very cold.

I felt chilled to the bone.

I knew if I hadn't been asleep, my teeth would be chatterin'.

The voices were whisperin' in my dream again, only this time they sounded closer.

"Why won't she wake up?"

Daddy?

"She'll be out quite a while yet, Chief Swan." Answered a voice I had no memory of ever hearin' before. "We were able to relieve the pressure from the head injury; however she needs time to heal. She'll wake up when she's ready."

Such a strange dream…

"At this point, I'm more concerned about her other injuries," the voice continued, "it's hard to say how well they will heal at this point. We did what we could. There are always further options which we can discuss later…"

Options? What options?

I was curious as to what this dream voice was talkin' about, but I felt myself bein' pulled deeper into sleep once again as the voice faded away.

***P*S***

The pain in my head had returned. Not as severe as before, but it was still there. In the haze of my dream, I became aware that it wasn't only my head. My entire body ached.

I was still feelin' cold as well.

Except for my right hand. It felt warm; almost as if two other hands were cradlin' it. I tried to lift my head to look, but my dream self wouldn't cooperate. It was then that I heard a very familiar voice.

"I'm so sorry baby," Edward's voice sounded small and sad. It reminded me of something I couldn't quite remember, and I wanted to tell him not to be sad. "You'll never know just how sorry I am."

"I know you can't hear me, but I need to say this anyway. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, Bella." Something soft pressed against my hand.

Lips?

"I don't deserve you, but I love you so much that I've been incredibly selfish," his voice cracked and I felt moisture on my hand.

Such a vivid dream…

"I've hurt you over and over, and I would give anything if it could be me lying there instead of you." He was sobbin' by then and I couldn't respond.

I wanted to wake up so badly. I wanted to escape the sound of Edward cryin'. Even if it was only in my dreams, it was breakin' my heart.

"I swear baby that I'm going to fix things. I'll never hurt you again. I can give you that much." He said in almost a whisper.

As much as I wanted to stay with my dream Edward, I could feel myself slippin' away once more.

***P*S***

Angry voices had intruded on my peaceful slumber as my dreams took a turn for the strange…

"Edward!" I heard both Edward's parents cry out in dismay.

In my dream, I could almost imagine my Daddy's hand clenchin' into a fist and landin' against Edward's face with a sickenin' crunch as it collided with flesh and bone, the powerful force of it knockin' him to the floor.

"No, Charlie!" Esme cried out.

"You bastard," my Daddy spat out the words.

Then the strangest sound of all, Edward's laughter.

This was a crazy dream…

"Finally," he said. "Finally, I've found the chink in Chief Swan's armor."

"You'd best shut your mouth boy," my Daddy sounded angrier than I'd ever heard him. "Esme, Carlisle, I'm sorry but I'm gonna need you to leave, and take him with you."

"I'm so sorry, Charlie." Carlisle said in not much more than a whisper.

Again, the darkness beckoned….

***P*S***

-Summer- Edward, Age 17 years

I dropped my head to my hands while I kept vigil beside Bella's bed. Her beautiful battered body lay almost lifeless before me.

I had done this to her

"What are you doing in here, Edward?" Chief's Swan's voice sounded from the doorway, startling me a little, but I didn't turn to acknowledge him.

"You need to go back to your room," he continued.

"Is that all you have to say to me?" I looked at him then, expecting to see hatred in his eyes.

But there was none.

"What did you want to hear Edward?"

"That you hate me for what I've done. That as soon as I'm released from the hospital, you're going to kick my ass."

Chief Swan grunted out his disapproval. "I was pretty damned angry, angry enough to pop you in the nose, but I've since had time to cool down. It also helps that Bella's going to be okay. But yeah, I'm still pretty pissed. Does that make you happy, Edward?"

"Maybe." I muttered before looking back at Bella bruised face.

"Look," Chief Swan paused. "I've known you for a long time. I also know that you've lived through one hell of a year. I don't think anyone realized just how bad it's been until now. I suspect that my daughter did, but why she never told me is anyone's guess."

Chief Swan paused and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Am I gonna let you alone with my daughter until you've gotten the treatment you need? Hell, no. You're in some serious trouble and, unless you have a very understanding judge, the next few months are gonna be rough."

"That being said, you're still going to have to prove yourself to me."

"How do I do that?" I asked, more out of curiosity than for any other reason.

"As I said, you need help; although it's a given that any judge worth his salt is going to require that of you. I can't tell you how I'll feel about things until the time comes, but I'm pretty sure that Bella will forgive you." He sighed. "That's her nature. We'll just have to see…"

I frowned at him. "That's it?" I asked incredulously. "I get a little rehab and Bella's forgiveness, and you give me a pass?"

"I never said that…"

"Whatever happened to protecting your daughter, Chief?" I seethed. "You've done a piss poor job of it so far…"

"Now hold on, Edward. I didn't know that you were messing around with drugs, and stop with the self-hatred bullshit already. You fucked up. It's not up to me what happens next, it's up to you…"

"You could do the right thing and forbid me from seeing your daughter!"

"I told you I don't know what's going to happen."

"Yes you do, don't lie. Bella will forgive me, because she's stupid like that, and then she'll convince you to let things go back to the way they were before, because you're stupid like that…"

My parents chose that exact moment to burst into the room.

"Oh, Edward. Thank God," my Mom exclaimed.

My Dad looked at me and then at the Chief. "What's going on?"

"I'm just explaining to Chief Swan why he should keep his daughter away from me."

"Edward, that's a discussion for another day; come on, let's get you back to bed," my Dad reached for my arm but I wrenched it away.

"It's obvious what you're doing," Chief Swan was glaring at me. "You're trying to make me hate you." He let out a gust of air. "That's just not possible, son…"

I glanced at my beautiful girl where she lay quiet and still in the hospital bed.

My girl…

That was the trouble. Bella couldn't be my girl. Not anymore. This time I'd fucked up too badly. I'd almost taken her from everyone who loved her, including me.

My fault, just like with Daniel…

I swallowed back the tears that were threatening, and summoned the courage to speak the words that would break what was left of my heart.

"Maybe I could help you with that, Chief." My voice sounded dead in my ears. "What if I told you that I got your little girl drunk on New Year's Eve and took her virginity?"

I ignored my mother's gasp and kept my eyes on the Chief.

His faced paled. "What?" the word escaped his mouth in a strangled whisper.

Bella, please forgive me…

"That's right, we were drunk and I fucked her…"

"Edward!" I heard both my parents cry out. I turned to take in their alarmed expressions and turned back to Chief Swan just in time for his fist to collide with my face. Still weak from my injuries, the force easily knocked me to the floor.

"No, Charlie!" I heard my mother cry.

"You bastard," Chief Swan seethed as he stood over me.

I laughed bitterly, hoping to put the last nail in the coffin. "Finally," I muttered, "finally, I've found the chink in Chief Swan's armor."

"You'd best shut your mouth boy. Esme, Carlisle, I'm sorry but I'm gonna need you to leave, and take him with you."

"I'm so sorry, Charlie." Dad whispered.

I didn't struggle as my father led me from the room.

Before the door closed, I turned and took one last look at the only girl I'd ever love.

I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it
I don't believe it makes me real
I thought it'd be easy but no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don't know how it got so bad

Sometimes it's so crazy
But nothing can save me
But it's the only thing that I have

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own, on my own

I tried to be perfect it just wasn't worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It's hard to believe me it never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better off on my own

*****************************************A/N*********************************
A/N Trust….please. We still have about 11 chapter plus an Epilogue to follow. Prologue is still several chaps away.

Song Rec: "Pieces" by Sum 41

Movie Rec: "Ten Things I Hate About You"

Switching gears to work on 'Sugar Cookies' for a bit and a surprise future-take for 'Wrap You in My Arms' as my late Christmas gift to all of you.

I'll be on Facebook as Annie Author Vandv, and in the FB group Emmamama's Stories.

Sneak peeks every Thursday of whatever I'm working on at the moment: Emmamamas-stories dot blogspot dot com