To Touch Without Holding

65. Pretty

Ty Lee thinks Azula looks extremely pretty all the time. She remembers when she was in school and used to get so jealous of the girls who looked so pretty but now she wonders if it was sexual attraction being denied. Or maybe that is just how she feels about Azula, because Azula looks pretty in an entirely different way.

Azula knows she is pretty and likes to examine her own body.

Ty Lee silently refuses to admit that she likes to see that.

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66. Daddy

"Are you interested in her?" Ozai asks and Azula is so taken off guard that she nearly chokes on her tea. "Don't think I haven't noticed."

"Of course not. That's so absurd," Azula says coolly but Ozai finds her to be translucent.

Azula, however, knows that he cannot always look right through her. Unfortunately, the flush in her cheeks and the glint of panic in her eyes are not as controlled as Azula's usual physiological responses.

"I don't mind it."

"What? What?" Azula takes a few deep breaths after feeling like a fool.

"It seems to be a very safe way for you to explore young feelings."

A safe way?

Azula hesitates, stares at her drink and then decides she is relieved no matter what he means by that.

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67. Snowy

"Is it snowing?" Ty Lee asks excitedly as she glances at the sky.

It is true that soft white flakes drift around the courtyard. But it's also true that it is summer in the Fire Nation.

"It's cottonwood from the trees." Azula says as some of it falls onto her skin.

She raises her hand and burns half before Ty Lee touches her wrist and removes the last one.

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68. Confusion

"But a lot of girls act like Ty Lee. They touch your arm and act flirtatious. And touch you in a sexual way. It really doesn't mean she feels like that," Azula says smoothly, her words rehearsed.

Mai would laugh if she knew how.

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69. Compact

"It's useful, huh?" Ty Lee says brightly as she snaps open and shut the expensive mirror in a box.

Azula thinks she has had a few that she misplaced. She looks into it and sees the most beautiful woman in all of history. And Ty Lee too.

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70. Sleepover

Ty Lee has invited Azula over and she does not know what to do about the excitement buzzing within her. She has been adjusting everything in her whole room for two hours, and trying to decide which make-up pallet is best, and sneaking the sexiest nightgown ever out of her sister's room.

Early today, she asked Azula to have a sleepover while Mai and Zuko were having a sleepover, and Ty Lee is totally sure that Azula got the implication. And so it has to be totally perfect is the thing. If she screws up this chance she screws up forever.

She is pacing madly and rearranging small bits of furniture when she hears the door downstairs. There have been three false alarms tonight, but this one is totally her because Ty Lee can hear her mother talking in a syrupy, groveling tone.

Holding her breath, Ty Lee waits as Azula offers her silky introduction, and then she hears footsteps on the creaking stairs, and then she realizes that she forgot to breathe and quickly sucks in a huge breath right before Azula walks into Ty Lee's bedroom.

"Hi," Ty Lee says softly, batting her eyelashes. If Azula notices that, she does not comment.

"Yes," Azula replies as she shuts the door. "Your home intrigues me. New money?"

Ty Lee frowns with no idea how to respond to new money. It is a true assumption, but Ty Lee never put much thought into how different her house is from Mai or Azula's.

"Well, yeah, and stuff." Ty Lee smiles and invites Azula further in.

71. Touch

Ty Lee finishes brushing the gold flecks onto Azula's eyelids. The princess is very used to being made up by others, and gold eye shadow with coal black eyeliner and curled, darkened eyelashes is not a new look for her.

But there is something Azula quite likes about this, but does not dare to show on her face.

Ty Lee finishes and Azula hates how reluctant her body is to give up the gentle touch on her skin as Ty Lee was nearly in her lap. That was a ridiculous idea, however.

Azula represents the Royal Family of the Fire Nation, and has conquered Ba Sing Se. Azula is a good girl, the perfect Fire Nation role model, and she needs to stop thinking the thoughts she cannot suppress.

That night, they share Ty Lee's bed. They are in silence for a very long time, and Ty Lee thinks Azula might have gone to sleep. But she is wrong, thankfully wrong, when Azula speaks up.

"Ty Lee, the stuffed animals are staring at me. Remove them before I burn them all," Azula states calmly and there is not a trace of humor in her tone.

Ty Lee springs up onto her knees and begins gathering the stuffed animals as fast as a bolt of lightning. Azula leans back and watches as Ty Lee removes them and tucks them neatly into the corner.

"Is that better?" Ty Lee asks sweetly as she walks back to the bed and feels the sinking feeling of disappointment in her stomach. "I only want to make you happy."

Although, I really wish this would have gone as planned.

"Of course. It's a natural prerogative."

Ty Lee frowns into her pillow, glad Azula cannot see through the darkness.

"Can I braid your hair?" Ty Lee asks softly, moving towards the princess.

Azula tenses, but it is not an abnormal thing for a person to do. She always did like it when she would lay in bed beside Ty Lee and her little circus freak friend would silently twist Azula's gorgeous hair, all the while murmuring about how Azula should have it down more often, and questioning how Azula keeps it so tidily up.

"Yes," Azula grants and Ty Lee's knee touches the small of her back as her soft fingers comb through the perfect raven locks.

Tonight does not go as Ty Lee had planned, but she thinks she likes just silently braiding Azula's hair, lying beside her and pretending that they are more than they are, than trying to initiate a courtship with Azula.

It's easier this way.

Or it's harder because the thing she wants most can be touched but not held.