Shunsui scanned for her reiatsu when he woke up. It was a habit he didn't seem to be able to break. At least this time he had the excuse of checking on her well-being. He'd stayed till she fell asleep last night, despite his better judgment, and then done a healing kido on her head that would hopefully make the hangover less intense this morning.
"Of course she's already there," he muttered locating her in the office. It didn't matter how many times he told her to come in late she was always right on time. Getting out of bed he figured he better get ready and go in and check on her.
He wasn't sure what to make of last night's conversation. On one hand it was good to know more about what fueled her commitment issues with him, but on the other it was disheartening because there wasn't much he could do about the way she felt. He couldn't change his family or his social status, and he could tell her till he was blue in the face that there was no pressure, but he knew her well enough to know that wouldn't be sufficient. He supposed she wasn't entirely wrong. He would want a relationship with her to be long term and serious even without marriage and children. She was young to settle down and perhaps it was unfair of him to ask. At the same time he couldn't help his own feelings on the matter anymore than she could. There was a reason they'd been playing a cat and mouse game for so many years, it was so they could have some sort of relationship while they waited to get on the same page, but the sex had shot that all to hell.
After he'd showered and dressed he shunpoed into the office. He really hadn't planned on going in today having assumed he'd get too drunk at the party, but she always seemed to throw off his plans. He'd barely started drinking when she came in, and she'd certainly had a rougher night than he had. He greeted division members as he slowed down to a walk and tried to act casual when he entered the office, shutting the door behind him.
"It's 10 AM," he noted. "This doesn't really qualify as taking a half day."
"I always sleep terribly when I drink." She looked up from some forms she was reviewing and he could see her bloodshot eyes even behind her glasses. "I've been up and unable to go back to sleep since 5 AM. It seemed silly to stay home. Besides I had some work to do."
"You should leave early then. It's Friday and no one will miss you just this once. Maybe take a late afternoon nap. They always make me feel better."
"Perhaps I will," she said surprising him. He really thought he was going to have to make it a direct order. What she thought she was proving by staying in the office even when she was miserably sick or hurt he'd never quite determined, but she'd always refused to budge in the past. "Thank you for taking care of me last night. My hand would have been hurting something awful today if it weren't for you."
"It's no problem. Especially not after all the times you've taken care of me. You're lucky that unlike you I'm not a violent drunk. The worst I've ever gotten injured drunk was when I feel off that roof while reciting love poetry to you as you tried to get me home. If it hadn't hurt so much the face you made when I tumbled off the roof would have been hilarious."
He expected her to make a joke, but instead she just shifted uncomfortably in her seat and glanced away from him looking like she was debating bolting from the office. Perhaps he shouldn't have brought up the love poetry. This new friendship was going to be hard to navigate when he didn't know what was ok and what wasn't. Nanao took a deep breath and threw her shoulders back as if she was steeling herself for a fight. Instead she changed the subject. "I have something I need you to look over."
"I made sure to finish everything yesterday, Nanao-chan." He really hadn't come in to work, just to check on her. She rose from her desk with a stack of papers and made her way over to him.
"It's not specifically work related."
"Oh?" He took the pages from her and lifted an eyebrow at the header. What exactly was a love contract? "What is this, Nanao-chan?"
She fidgeted and blushed. "Per our conversation last night I am not good at romantic relationships. That being said I do miss spending time with you and having sex with you. There is also no point in hiding any such relationship because all of our friends and coworkers already think we're sleeping together regardless of our actions. I also seem to have no interest in having sex with other men anymore. I tried and couldn't go through with it. Barely got past the first kiss. That being the case, a long term sexual and romantic relationship with you might not be the worst thing ever, but I have stipulations. I'm not good with talking about my feelings, but I am very good with paperwork." She paused for a moment and he blinked at her. "It was the best I could do." She opened her hands in a pleading gesture.
He glanced from her to the contract in his hand and tried not to get his hopes up. It was so very Nanao to make a contract for a relationship. Shrugging his shoulders he made his way over to sit on the couch and skimmed over the first page. It mainly consisted of requirements of their relationship. No sleeping with other people. No public displays of affection that would be considered offensive by society's standards which was up to Nanao to determine. No sharing intimate details of their lives with division members. No mention of marriage for at least 100 years unless she brought it up. Children were also off the table unless she initiated the discussion. His family was to be kept as separate from their relationship as humanly possible. He flipped to the next page.
"Really, Nanao-chan? Deal breakers?"
"Yes, and I've left a page open for you to fill in as well. I know you say you don't like rules, but you must have certain things that would end a relationship. After all you've ended them with women in the past including me."
He scanned some of her listed items. Deal breakers included cheating on her, putting pressure on her for either marriage or children, leaving wet towels on the bed, restricting her from active duty, preferential treatment in the office, etc. He snorted as he read the bit about cunnilingis happening often and enthusiastically. They were all terms he could meet. He flipped the contract to a blank page for his deal breakers to be filled in. He glanced up and Nanao was holding out a pen. He scrawled one line and handed it back to her.
"There has to be more than that," she said taking it from his hands.
"It's the only thing that matters."
She read what he'd written and pursed her lips. And really at the end of the day she could write any contract she wanted. He'd meet her needs. This was his only deal breaker when it came to her.
"I should think it would be quite obvious that I'm in love with you," she said stiffly. She really was terrible at talking about her emotions – at least when she was sober. But it'd had to be addressed. The only reason why he would end a willing relationship with her was if she genuinely didn't love him and didn't want to be with him. "I wouldn't risk everything that matters to me for anyone else." And she meant that. He could see how scared she was it'd all go to hell despite her cool façade. He would have tried to comfort her if he'd thought it would make a difference, but really the only thing that would convince her was giving it a shot and him trying his best to reassure her over time. It'd be too much of a hassle if it was any other woman. Her, he didn't mind spending years persuading, as long as they spent those years together. "If that changes I will notify you and it will bring our contract to an end."
"You didn't think to add it to your list?"
"What?"
"Me not loving you. You had cheating on there, but nothing about love."
She flushed a brilliant shade of red. "It never crossed my mind that you'd stop loving me."
He smiled at that. "But you're worried I'd cheat on you?"
"Even if you didn't love me romantically anymore you'd still love me as a friend. You can love me and still get bored," she said looking at the contract instead of meeting his eyes. "You'd be kind about it, because you're you, but that would only make it worse." That wiped the smile right off his face.
"I wouldn't worry about that if I were you, Nanao-chan. I've had plenty of opportunities the past few weeks and couldn't stand any of them. I'd already come to terms with spending the next decade frustrated and alone in the shower. Sex with someone you love, well nothing else quite matches up. I think you'll enjoy it."
Her head snapped up at that. "Isn't that what we've been doing?"
"No. Nanao-chan was always holding back, and I didn't want to force you."
She snorted in a most un-ladylike way that he always enjoyed. "I don't think I was holding much back. If you think I've got some secret moves you haven't seen yet you're very much mistaken."
"May I?" he asked brushing his reiatsu up against hers. She lifted an eyebrow at him, but nodded her approval, opening her reiatsu up to him slightly so he could read her emotions. She still had a strict control on her reiatsu, but he didn't need her to let go, he only needed her to know what he was feeling. He let his own guards down and let his reiatsu wash over her.
She sucked in a sharp breath and he saw her knees wobble right before he stood up and pressed close to support her. "Shunsui," she said softly and it sounded like she wanted to cry. His own emotions of love and wanting and frustration stormed around them and he didn't draw back.
"Nanao-chan, I want so so much," he said quietly and the silent spiritual pressure surrounding them rippled at the desire. "And it's got nothing to do with marriage or babies or anything else society says we need to get to. This is just about what we want and what makes us happy."
"All this because of me?" she asked looking up at him wide-eyed and he hoped this wasn't the thing that scared her off for good, but she needed to know. If she really wanted this she had to know how much it meant to him. She had the fist not clutching the contract buried in his haori helping to hold herself up. "Why not show me this before?"
"I didn't want to make you feel like you had to return the feelings. Like I said, I didn't want to force you. But now you say you love me, so perhaps it isn't a burden?"
She laughed a bit at that. "You're always a burden. Sleeping, and drinking, and knocking my nice stable little world right off it's axis." She loosened her own hold over her reiatsu and he could feel the storm of her emotions - frustration and insecurity, but love and yearning too. He could soothe her insecurities and the frustration mirrored his own. There was an easy fix for that as well. The love, that was the important part, strong and real and he pulled her tighter to him and buried his face in her neck. They stood their quietly clinging to each other and just feeling each other for a moment.
"You do this during sex?" she asked quietly.
He laughed and started to lock his reiatsu down again as she did the same. "Not often. Only once before really and she didn't return the favor. I was very young and very stupid. She didn't love me. Used me to get what she wanted. I should have known when she didn't open up to me, but as I said I was very young and very blinded by love."
She softened at that pulling back from him slightly and pushing a strand of hair out of his face. "We both might faint if we do that during sex."
"Never know until we try," he said with a devilish grin. His hand trailed up her side and she shuddered against him. "Either way it'll be the best sex I've ever had."
"I'll add 'not loving me,' to my deal breaker list as well." She walked away from him and put the contract on the desk adding the line. "Are you sure there isn't anything else you'd like to add?"
"Nothing else is a deal breaker, Nanao-chan. We can work through anything else."
She pulled a form off her desk. "You need to fill this out and take it to the 1st."
"I thought I finished all of these yesterday," he pouted. What he really wanted to do was just pull her back into his arms and dance his way around the office. She was really going to give them a chance. Trying to stay in her good graces though, he took the form and glanced at it before grinning. "You're really going to make us fill this out?"
"Of course."
"You didn't before."
"Before we were just having sex. If the 1st required fraternization forms every time two shinigamis had sex with each other they'd never get any work done. But if you want to have an actual relationship then one is required. I filled out my part and signed. You just need to do the same. I assume you can take it to the Soutaicho and get it fast tracked with minimal pushback."
"I don't know about minimal pushback, but I can make sure it goes through." He was torn on how the old man would react to this news. Yama-jii didn't like change and he didn't like anything that might have the potential to adversely affect the functioning of his superior officers. Not that it really mattered how he reacted, this was one thing Shunsui was going to refuse to bend on. Shunsui had had decades to plan out his arguments supporting their relationship if it ever came to pass. Yama-jii didn't stand a chance.
Nanao looked concerned. "You really think he'll be very upset about it?"
"It'll be fine, Nanao-chan." He stood up and crossed to his desk filling out the form quickly. "It's really very businesslike."
"What did you expect? I don't think they want in-depth descriptions of people's personal lives."
"It might give the paper pushers at the 1st a little thrill if they did."
She rolled her eyes. "Would you go do it already?"
"Nanao-chan is anxious to be my lover," he teased delighted that he could.
"I'm anxious to have the whole thing settled one way or another," she clarified crossing her arms.
He smiled at that and put the form down walking to her and cupping her face with his hands. "I'll make sure it goes through Nanao-chan. Don't worry." Then he leaned down and pulled her into a gentle kiss. She didn't fight it, just melded her body to his, and he was sure he was the luckiest man in Soul Society. He pulled back from her reluctantly. "Worse comes to worse we know Jyuushiro will back me up in a fight against the old man."
"Are we sure he's going to stop hating me enough to back you up?"
"He never hated you. In fact he's always been quite fond of you. He just doesn't like to see me hurting. He'll be happy for us." Then it was his turn to frown and worry.
"What? What's wrong?"
"What if other people bring up marriage and babies, Nanao-chan?" She blinked and he hurried to explain. "I know the contract said I couldn't, but other people are going to joke about it. You know they are. I'll ask Jyuu not to, but he loves little kids. He'd definitely naturally pester us to settle down and give him some nieces and nephews. He'll respect my wishes if I say not to mention it, but I'm not sure I can stop everybody. Is that going to count as a breech of contract?"
She smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist snuggling into him with her head on his chest. He put his own arms around her and inhaled the scent of her there warm and willing against him. It really was a wonderful day. "It's not a breech of contract. That only applies to you. We can't stop all the other idiots talking. I can handle our friends if you can keep your family off my back."
He winced at that, and she must have felt it as she looked up at him questioningly. "I really will try my best," he said pleadingly. "It's just they've wanted me to settle down for so long and I've ignored them. They're going to be interested in any relationship I have. My grandmother especially is going to be interested in more heirs for the clan."
"I'm not noble," Nanao said pulling away from him slightly and he tightened his hold on her. He was not going to get this close and lose it now because of his pushy relations.
"I'll keep them as far away from you as I can," he promised. "I just don't want you to bolt if someone says something ridiculous. I want you to know I don't agree with them. I can go my whole life without getting married or having children as long as I get to come home to you."
"You should go. The sooner you approach the Soutaicho with this the sooner it will be done." He took that as her way of saying it'd be ok if his family was crazy as long as he took her side. She needn't worry. He'd always take her side against his clan. He loved them, but they were all far too meddlesome for their own good. He kissed her again before he released her and grabbed the form off the desk.
"You should try and get some sleep. Shut the door and take a nap on the couch. I'll be back before you know it. Don't miss me too much, Nanao-chan," he cooed. He made a ridiculous kissy face at her and she threw a paperweight at him. He dodged and laughed practically skipping out the door. His subordinates smiled indulgently as he hurried out of the division, all of them assuming Nanao had already kicked him out for the day.
A/N: Sorry it's late! Work has been actually insane this week and I just went straight to bed when I got home last night. Sorry if there are errors as I proofed this in a hurry. Reviews make my weekend happy ;)