Disenchanted

Chapter fourteen – Say- All I Need

Bella

A/N: The Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyers

My fingers skimmed the rough surface of the blank canvas; each little nub in the material was like a stitch repairing my broken heart.

Joy was the topic of the day. Arthur Kensington, the instructor, therapist, psychiatrist, whatever, wanted us to draw joy.

It should have been easy. I'd gotten exactly what I wanted. I got Jake. I got a role in the play. A lead role, though technically they were all leads; but seeing as how there were only eight roles I was lucky I even got a part.

I refocused my attention to the canvas in front of me and the blood red pastel in my hand. Joy. It was such a simple word, yet so hard to express artistically. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, thinking of things that brought me joy.

I let myself fall back into my memories, revisiting all the things that brought me joy. My mind stopped at one day in particular. It was late summer in Jacksonville, right in the middle of the rainy season. A tropical storm was battering away at the coast, dropping more rain than normal.

There was a break in the rain, a few hours of sunshine; the eye of the storm. Suddenly, the neighborhood came to life. Dogs started barking, kids screaming. Down the street a lawnmower started. I smiled at the kids playing basketball in the street. A breeze stirred the palm fronds on the tree outside my room. The wide leaves waved, beckoning me to come outside and enjoy the sunshine, however brief.

As I stepped onto the balcony, great gray clouds rolled in from over the east, the sky darkened. In the distance thunder rumbled. The street outside was suddenly quiet. The children, animals, and lawnmowers retreated back to the safety offered indoors.

Suddenly the image appeared in my head. I could see it as clearly as if I was standing there again watching it occur. My hand started moving erratically over the page. I put the red pastel down and reached for a gray one.

In my head, I stood on the balcony my face turned to the sky, the swollen clouds spilling their bounties. I turned my face to the sky, the cool wind whipped around me blowing my hair out.

I smiled happily as the fragrant scent of rain misted my face. My eyes slid shut slowly as I inhaled the fresh scent greedily. The rain fell harder; above me, the dark sky was ripped open, jagged bolts of lightning lit up the storm scorched sky. Close by thunder boomed, a deafening crash above my head that made the windows rattle.

The rain slowed to its normal, lackadaisical drizzle. Thunder boomed again, further away this time. Another gust of wind blew; the warm air a stark contrast to the chill of the rain on my face, the fresh scent of newly sheared grass forced itself upon me. I sighed, content. I wanted to take all the sounds and smells of that simple day and put them in a jar. Save them for another day, a darker day.

It was amazing how a simple thunderstorm made me so happy. It was just one of those moments you just wanted to carry with you because it made you feel so good. Moments like those were rare.

I opened my eyes and glanced at the canvas. It was shabby by comparison, but for just a few moments I was able to relive that thunderstorm.

Arthur stood next to me, admiring the drawing. "You have an amazing talent, Bella," he said softly.

Crossing my arms I stared at the drawing. "You think so?"

Arthur nodded. "I do. It stirs something inside of me. Looking at this it makes me wish I was able to be there, in that storm with that girl. She seems to be enjoying the rain. Good job."

He gently placed his hand on my shoulder, patting it once before moving on to Mr. Sniffles; the man always seemed to be coughing or sneezing.

At the end of class Sue met me by the door, her canvas tucked under her arm. "Ready?" she asked.

I nodded following her out to the van. We'd grown closer in the span of a few days. Sue really seemed to, I dunno, get me. She knew when something was bothering me and how to approach it.

Today she was quiet, which worried me. We made our customary stop to 7-11 for hot chocolate. Back in the car, I set the steaming cup of cocoa in the cup holder and buckled my seat belt.

Sue set the keys in the ignition and turned to face me. "Bella, I need to ask you something and I need you to give me an honest answer," she said.

I gulped. This was either going to be the ever embarrassing sex talk lead in question, or I'd done something I shouldn't have.

"What happened to all your things?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked, feigning innocence.

"All your books, your laptop; your walls used to be covered in posters of that band, chemically induced romance-"

"My Chemical Romance," I corrected.

Sue waved her hand. "Same difference. You used to have your walls papered in posters, now they're gone. Seth said Leah tore up all your books and posters. Is that true? Did Leah destroy your things?"

Deny, deny, deny! My mind screamed. "No," I said, the lie coming out smoothly. "Leah didn't do anything to my room. I took the posters down, and put the books into my trunk to make room for um, for other stuff, you know."

"No, I don't know. When you first came here you loved those books, and now you're making room for other stuff. Something's going on and I'd like to know what."

I shrugged. "Nothing's going on. I just wanted to make room for other things. I have different interests now, things I wasn't interested in before I moved here, that's all."

Sue started the car. She stared at the windshield for a moment before turning back to me. "What about Leah's clothes? Did you steal them like she said you did?"

I stared at the lid to my cup not saying a word. Sue pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards the house. "Did you, Bella?"

I shrugged. "What's it matter? Charlie thinks I did, he grounded me for it and I'm serving my punishment. Why's it matter if I took her stuff or not?"

Sue turned into the sub-division, the blinker a steady ticking sound in the background. "Because I know you didn't do it. You girls are different sizes. Leah's curvy, you, well, not so much. I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me."

"Look, Sue, please, just let it go. Everything is fine, there's nothing wrong. I'm fine. Please, just – please stop, okay."

Jesus Christ this woman was persistent. I wasn't going to go running to Leah's mom and snitch on her. Leah was bound to mess up at some point, and when she did, she'd get caught in her own lies.

Sue turned onto our street. She looked at me like she knew I was lying, but knew enough to let it go like I asked.

"Alright, well, like I keep telling you if you need to talk, I'm here for you."

I nodded. Pushing the door open, I got out of the van. I reached into the backseat, snatched my drawing and fled into the house. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to be uneasy around Sue. I wanted to spill my guts to her in the hopes that she could make it all better. She was like all the good things about my mom, plus some, rolled into one amazing woman. I wanted her to hug me and tell me it was all going to be alright.

In my room, I leaned the drawing against the wall and looked around to make sure that Leah hadn't destroyed anything else in my absence. Everything was as it should be.

* * *

My two weeks of punishment, well more like week and a half, passed. Charlie let me off early for what he claimed was, "Good Behavior."

I rolled my eyes as I walked away from that conversation. The man had to be bi-polar. His moods swings and personality transplants were leaving my dizzy. I stayed close to home, even though I was ungrounded. I was sort of hoping to catch Leah in the act of destroying something so that when I pushed her down the stairs of cut her brakes, I'd be completely justified in doing so.

I went to art therapy with Sue and went on a second date with Jake. We left after school the Friday I would've gotten off punishment and drove into the city. Jake wouldn't tell me where we were going, just that I was going to enjoy it and had to dress nice.

Shortly after four that afternoon, he parked the car in a parking lot in the middle of the city. I got out of the jeep, pulling my jacket tightly around me. "Where are we?" I asked looking around.

"Well, right now we're in a parking lot. I figured we could get something to eat first. We still have some time before the other thing is supposed to start."

"The other thing?" I asked, suddenly a little worried. "What's the other thing?"

"Come on. You'll have to wait and see." He gently took my hand as we walked out of the parking lot. "So, how's the play rehearsal going?"

I smiled, staring down at the sidewalk. I was a jumble of nerves. I liked the fact that he had that affect on me. "It's good," I said. "The show opens in two weeks. I'm a little nervous."

"You'll be amazing," he said.

I blushed. "Thanks," I said softly. "How's football?"

"Oh it's good. If we keep winning like we have been, we'll make the play-offs for sure," Jake said enthusiastically.

"That's cool," I said.

We walked in silence for a few blocks. This was strange; we really had nothing to talk about. This was definitely different from being with Embry.

That's because you're not dating Embry, my subconscious replied. I stifled a snicker. That was true. Jake was definitely not Embry. Psht, Embry was definitely not Jake either.

"You okay?" Jake asked looking down at me.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I just don't know what to talk about."

Jake laughed. "Me either. Here, hold on." He stopped me and glanced at the building next to us. "Are you hungry?"

I shrugged. "A little. What is this place?" I turned to look at it. It was one of those little hole in the wall type of restaurants; bright crimson curtains hung in the windows and candle light flickered just beyond the windows.

"Some restaurant, let's check it out."

He tugged my hand and I followed behind him. Together we entered the quaint little restaurant and were seated at a quiet booth.

"So what are we doing tonight?" I asked, sipping the sweating glass of water that was on the table before me.

Jake's eyes twinkled mysteriously. "It's a surprise. You'll have to wait and see."

I didn't want to wait and see. We ordered dinner and ate, trading bits of conversation. By the time we left the restaurant, twilight had settled over the city. Jake held my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine, and the two of us walked toward the north end of the city. Past the parking lot where the car was parked until he finally stopped in front of a building that looking like it jumped right out of the 1940's.

"What is this place?" I looked up at the large brick building, craning my neck to see the sign.

"This, my gorgeous girl, is the Welles Theater."

I stared at him, shocked. "As in real theater, with real stage actors. Not a movie theater?" My heart beat against my rib cage in giddy anticipation. "What are we seeing?"

Jake guided me to the doors and opened it. The smell of drama and underrated success assaulted my senses as I stepped into the theater's lobby.

I looked around. Rich paneled walls touted posters of plays whose presence previously graced the stage. The maroon carpet was plush and clean, the brass fixtures gleamed softly in the glow of the lamplight. I squealed softly and did a happy dance. I couldn't help it. Jake laughed and pulled two tickets out of his wallet.

"What are we seeing?" I asked again as he handed the tickets to the attendant.

"Cymbeline. Do you know the story?"

I nodded. Cymbeline was the story of Imogen, daughter of King Cymbeline, who married Posthumus, secretly. The King banishes Posthumus from the kingdom. Iachimo, a soldier in the roman army, made a bet with Posthumus that he could tempt Imogen to commit adultery. Iachimo lies to Posthumus, saying he slept with Imogen. Posthumus goes bananas and orders Pisanio to kill Imogen. Then the wrongly accused Imogen, with Pisanio's help, fakes her death and pretends to be a boy.

It's a whole lot of betrayal and jealousy and deceit. Classic Shakespeare. I was amazed that Jake would think of something like this.

We found our seats and sat down. The theater was mostly full of older people; we were the only teenagers. The house lights dimmed and the curtain squeaked open in only the way a theater curtain can open.

The first act began and I became lost in the story line. By intermission I was enthralled. Jake, on the other hand, looked bored to tears.

We stood in the lobby sipping soda during intermission. "So, do you like it? The play?" I twirled the cup in my hand and glanced at Jake from under my lashes.

He coughed once. "Um, yeah. It's uh, its…interesting."

"Liar." I smacked his arm, smiling. "It's okay to admit you don't like it. We can leave if you want," I offered.

"No! We'll stay until it's over. I don't mind. Are you, do you like the play?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Thank you for bringing me here. This place, this date, it's all amazing."

The lights in the lobby dimmed. I tossed my cup and grabbed Jake's arm. "Why do they keep doing that?" he demanded.

I chuckled softly. "It's to let you know that the play is starting, or in this case, that intermission is over."

Back in the darkened theater, I sat on the edge of my seat for the last half of the play. Jake fell asleep during the last act, but he sprang to his feet applauding with the rest of the audience as the actors came out for their final curtain call. I decided that he ought to get a free pass this time. Shakespeare wasn't for everyone, and he got major brownie points for an awesome date.

Walking back to the jeep, I leaned tiredly against Jake's side. "Hey Bella?" he said.

"Mhmm?"

"What do you think," he said, grasping my arm as we crossed the street. "About being my girlfriend?"

I smiled, my breath like clouds of white mist on the air. "You want me to be your girlfriend?"

Jake nodded. "Okay," I agreed.

* * *

That night the kiss on the front porch was a hell of a lot smoother than the first one. I unlocked the door and let myself in. "Good night," I called softly as I shut the door.

Jake echoed the sentiment before darting across the lawn to his own house. I slowly climbed the stairs, avoiding the creaky fifteenth step and the loose floorboard outside Leah's room. I climbed the second flight of stairs. When I got to the landing I paused, hand hovering just above the doorknob. The last time I'd gone out with Jake, Leah destroyed my room and just about everything in it. God only knows what she did to it this time. I turned the knob and allowed the door to swing open slowly. My desk chair sat in the middle of the room, a dark figure occupied the chair.

I screamed; the figure jumped. "Zee," it hissed. "Zee, be quiet, it's me, its Seth."

I pressed my hand to my mouth, gasping. "Jesus Christ don't ever do that again. You scared the living shit out of me," I hissed at him once I'd regained my breath. "What are you doing in here?"

"Leah watch," Seth said proudly.

"Was she in here?" I sat down on the edge of my bed and pulled the black heels off. My feet were sore and would hurt like hell tomorrow.

Seth flopped back down and tossed his flashlight from hand to hand. "I don't think she was. Rachel was over earlier, she told Leah that you and Jake were going to the theater. I thought she'd be mad and come wreck your room again. I was going to catch her in the act." He smiled proudly at the ingeniousness of his plan.

"Well, thanks. I guess I owe you one. Alright, go down stairs and go to bed. And be quiet. If your mom and Charlie hear you sneaking into your room we're both gonna be in trouble." I tossed the shoes into the closet. "Oh and Seth?"

He stopped, his hand lingering on the doorknob. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

"No problem Zee. I'll see you later. Hope you and Jake had fun at the theater." He closed the door and I heard him quietly making his way down the rickety attic stairs. Pulling my dress off I pulled on an oversized Jaguars t-shirt and climbed into bed.

I'd have to take Seth somewhere special or do something nice for him. He did so many things for me, and everyone else for that matter, and we all just shuffled him along in the daily to-do of our everyday lives.

I closed my eyes and thought about Rosalie. I hadn't talked to her in forever, well since the text messaging in the library the day before Embry apologized. That seemed so long ago. I guess it was.

So much, yet so little, time had passed. I didn't notice it too much anymore. Majority of the time I was glad to be here. To have a here to be. I made a mental not to call Rosalie tomorrow and see what she was up to. I missed her. Maybe I could even try to con Charlie into letting me go down to Jacksonville for a few days over Christmas break.

As I drifted off to sleep Jake's words echoed in my head. "How do you feel about being my girlfriend?"

I smiled. Good, I thought. That sounds good to me.

***

"Say (all I need) by One Republic