I'm sneaking back from my unexpected absence with my deepest regrets. I was wound up with a subject I desperately need if I want to get my degree next year - still am, but now we've got a longer deadline - and we had lots of trouble with it. I didn't write in the whole of November and then finals came over me and I was just so buried up in work I couldn't even finish this to publish it.

With any luck, we'll be back to a regular schedule now. Thanks for your reads, your follows, and patience.

On a related note, I'm still riding the high from last week: first, DA 4's announcement in the Game Awards - and damn me if I didn't squee like a madwoman when I heard Solas' voice -, and then without time to settle, we get Avengers: Endgame trailer. I am trapped in a weird limbo between suffering and being extremely happy, and I'm feeling so energized that even though there's still work to do I can't think of postponing my writing any longer.

Love you all, and I expect you're as happy as I am and that you enjoy this long overdue chapter.

Stargazer

14th Verse - Double Trouble

A stray ray of sun found my eye and woke me - said no-one ever in their lives.

In the modern world where artificial lighting was a staple to not be able to sleep with it on was stupid - and in this forsaken medieval one, I had taken to wake long before that even became a problem. But being awake before dawn, which had to be around 5 am if the not-so-cold climate was any clue when you were alone and when you were around people were two very different things - especially after a rough night.

I still had Learning's last bout of bell-like laughter chiming in my ears when I woke, and a faint stinging in my hands that made me reconsider just how much of what I did in the Fade crossed-over to the real world. My mouth felt dry, as if after speaking for hours, and my mind was fully aware - not refreshed like after a good night sleep, but like if I had pulled an all-nighter watching some series or another, heavy, with batteries full but knowing that that feeling would soon pass and leave you bone-tired by the time lunch rolled over.

Still, I had things to do and couldn't laze around in bed the whole day - not to mention that I would go mad in minutes of doing nothing. With nothing else to think of I fiddled a bit with the energy so easily available around me, pushing and pulling softly against limits I knew to be truthful when you discussed normal natural laws instead of magical laws, trying to discern without disturbing the space around me too much which held true and which crumbled under the weight of my will - and oh, boy! Wouldn't some scientists have a field day with the whole of the things I played with?

When sun rays finally began filtering through the rough crystal of the only window I decided it was as good of a time as any to go downstairs and make a few questions. With the perspective of having a good breakfast, my body filled with new energy that had nothing to do with the Fade and I dressed before venturing out of my room.

I was surprised to find the saloon so full this early, but if this was a rural community then it made sense. Putting those thoughts away from my mind I walked down to the counter, where the stocky innkeeper was moving around with a vitality that made me feel old and weary and wanting to go back to bed for a century. He smiled and I smiled back before he went back and brought a pot of something alongside a tankard that acter as a mug and a few pieces of toast.

"There you go lassie, a nice plate to get you on your feet and on the road in no time!"

I smiled and took a sip of the infusion, tasting some sort of tea that smelled of luxury yet still didn't compare to a good cup of black coffee. I tasted the toast next before going on to the porridge. It felt weird and heavy to eat so much so early in the morning, but it was delicious all the same and the mere thought of having to leave this behind to go back to the roads made my feet ache and my head spin - how long would it be until I could sleep under a roof again?

A thought flashed through my mind and I went through my mental wallet, thinking and pondering. Maybe…

The innkeeper passed me by, bringing back empty plates and mugs with him and I waved him over.

"Something you need, kid?" He asked.

"I was wondering if it would be much trouble if I stayed a few days. I don't feel ready to go back to the roads just yet." I said, my tone meeker than I wanted it and ignoring the warnings and angry flashes in the back of my brain. Was it wrong to wish for a little comfort in the search for home? It wasn't as though I was giving up, I just wanted to feel like a human being for a few days!

He laughed merrily and patted me lightly in the back.

"Not a problem as long as you pay! We're always happy to have people around here!"

I smiled lightly.

"I will do so at lunch then if it is not much trouble. I would like to explore the town a bit."

He simply nodded with a pleasant small.

"There's not much to see, but there's a Chantry and a few stores. We have an apothecary if you're in need of healing and blacksmith's pretty good too." I felt my smile widen and nodded.

"Thanks for the information, I'll be sure to check them out, although…" I had already forgotten my chance to ask yesterday night, it was not time to doubt now. "Wouldn't you happen to know if anyone in town has a phone? Or a computer with internet access? I'd really appreciate the data."

His gaze turned confused, but not hostile. I had to repress a sigh at that, I really wasn't expecting much from this place in technology matters, but I had hoped that at least there was a satellite phone for emergencies. I smiled reassuringly and dismissed my own question before going back to my breakfast.

It didn't take long for me to begin to feel oppressed in the closed room, it was just too much all of sudden: the noise, the people, the roof and just... I scrambled to finish my food and forced a smile on the way out to the maid that had spoken to me last night.

Once I breathed the fresh air outside, had the sunshine on my skin and could listen to the sounds of nature I relaxed a bit. Tampering down the thought that it would be hard going back home if I had to fight this sudden feels I turned down the road, a hand carefully resting behind the hilt of my dagger and began walking down the streets.

If this was an ideal world, I would find an old-fashioned English telephone booth.

No phone, no hanging wires - nor sign of them being underground -, no satellite-tv antenna on sight and a few hours later I had already walked most of the small town.

I had seen the apothecary store on the southern outskirts of the town, the closest to the river. I had smiled at the woman and asked her about a few of the flasks I had seen, which had been enlightening about the things I'd drank on my first days here. Apparently the red ones that could heal wounds were 'health potions', some were denser and could be used as poultices while others were for drinking only; the golden ones were vigor potions, which energized the body but were expensive to produce and keep, but the stars of the place were the so-called 'lyrium' potions. According to the woman she couldn't make them herself due to the nature of the materials needed, but had stocked a few away for traveling mages here and there - I failed to see which was the trouble with that, after all, if I followed what the name told me it was made of some variant or other of lily; lyrium, after all, was similar enough to the Spanish 'lirio' for it to be confused…

The effects she told me they had, however, were strange at best and out of a video game at worst. It was basically a mana potion, only I was pretty sure mana had nothing to do with how this strange magic worked - after all, the energy used came from the Fade and not from my own body, but well, it wouldn't be fair to complain about the weirdness of that if I was so readily accepting magic already.

As I'd thought and the innkeeper had said, there wasn't really much to see in the small town. Memories and uncomfortable thoughts had begun to creep in when the sudden sound of metal hitting metal startled me. I had to consciously flex my fingers away from their uncomfortably tense state - in the case of one hand almost prying them from around the hilt of the dagger-, stomping down onto the wave of energy that I had pulled towards the edge of the Veil in seconds and putting a lid on that part of me. I was disgusted at my jumpiness, ashamed that I had reacted that way when I had been told previously that there was a smith in town.

I kept walking towards the source of the sounds and found a large man forging something in the traditional way, by means of hammer and anvil. There was a large-ish array of both, materials and half-finished pieces strewn around his wall-less workshop, and the few tools I could see were rudimentary - no power hammer on sight or electrical equipment whatsoever. The objects being made were simple ones too: horseshoes, blades, and pans. Nothing fancy and nothing that couldn't be mass produced and bought anywhere in this time and age.

Before I gave myself the chance of walking by, a quick gaze to the distance and the river reminded me that I would have to go back to the road sometime soon - and that it would be ideal to have my quiver replenished with fresh arrows by then. I turned back towards the smithy.

The smith was a robust looking man that couldn't be taller than I was. His sandy-blond hair was held from his sweating face by a headband and his simple clothes covered by a leather apron. He didn't stop working just because I entered his workspace, so I distracted myself by looking around, taking in details and whatnot about the place: there were some plaques with obscure designs that seemed too complex for the tools I could see, and a few shelves along the only wall were too close to the point of collapse for comfort. It worried me still that he didn't seem to have any arrows in sight - and with my luck, if he had them, then they would be for the type of bow I didn't have.

He finally finished pounding away at whatever he was doing and turned towards me, taking off his gloves.

"Sorry 'bout that, I really had to finish that piece. Name's Theran, what can I help you with?" He said with voice roughened by smoke and effort. I put on my 'innocent girl who wouldn't hurt a fly but is still willing to trade with ye' face.

"Marianna. I'm looking for arrows for a bow this long." I moved my hands to mark the desired length. "Do you make them or is there a fletcher in town?" I highly doubted that was the case, but better to cover all of the bases. He smiled and began to rearrange some tools around.

"No fletcher, just plain old me. How many sheaves would you be wanting?" He had to had read the confusion plain as day on my face - it had been a long time since I'd found a word I really didn't know in my own language, but he was kind enough not to embarrass me due to my lack of knowledge. "I'm sorry, but I only sell the sheave with twenty-four arrows on it, making individual ones brings no profit."

I nodded in understanding. It was surprising, but it made sense.

"How much would a sheave cost, then?"

"Twenty silver, and for five more I could also take a look at whatever arrow you've already got. It will take me a week to make them in between my other jobs if you're willing to help and have the knowledge I will check your arrows with no added charge and get them out faster."

I inclined my head. That wasn't the plan - hell, staying in town wasn't the plan, not with how rough it would be on my wallet, and I still needed some of this weird currency if I got a hold of a phone and could get to a train station or something. Buying some fruit for the way and staying in the inn for so long was already too expensive for my tastes, but I didn't have any idea of how long I would be away from civilization - and if I ended up starving because I had decided not to spend some silver in some arrows, I would definitely punch myself.

Besides having something to work with that didn't involve defying everything I knew would be nice.

"When do we begin?"

I groaned when I stretched.

The muscles in my arms were on fire and my back was killing me. I really thought I'd managed to become stronger what with hunting with bow and arrow every single day of the past few weeks - it was kind of hard going back to the harsh reality and realizing that I had nothing on a smith without some form of electrical tool at hand.

If there was a good thing about all of this work, it was that I hadn't have a single nightmare since I began to work on my arrows - or whatever the man needed actually.

Having a comfy place to sleep, without paranoia coursing through my veins and waking all wound up made marvels for one's humor. Still, staying at one place for so long was making that very same feeling surge back with a vengeance, especially in so small of a town where everyone seemed to know each other and I felt even more of an outsider than I was. I needed to get back on the road, even if it meant losing all those nice, small comforts I missed so dearly.

I was on my way back after a plentiful day of work when a commotion in the outskirts of town drew my attention. Curiosity overpowered caution, and the chance to get some clear information about where I was and why these people choose to live in isolation was an - albeit small - impassable chance. My feet guided me through the houses and alleys until I found myself within as large of a crowd as a town like this can have, and advancing further into it until I could see with my own eyes the most heartbreaking scene I'd ever found.

A small child, no older than seven if my eyes were right, was clinging to the skirts of his indifferent mother, bawling unintelligible words as a man not to far away that had to be his father held back two younger, sobbing girls. Four men in full plate armor stood, helmets covering their faces with swords and shields completing their attire. They ticked something in the depths of my mind, but I shoved that thought away, trying to discern why this scene was even happening.

One of those medieval soldiers advanced and made to grasp the kid, who ducked behind his mother's skirts. Heat swelled in righteous anger inside of me, hot enough to be uncomfortable yet still not enough to override my sense and impulse me to take action in a conflict that wasn't mine to fight.

The tipping point was when the woman herself disentangled the small hands from the cloth and threw the child at the knights. I hadn't even consciously taken a decision before I found myself catching him before metal arms did, steadying him and trying to seem at the time as comforting and as intimidating as I could. All eyes were on me now, time to put up those courses on motivation to good use.

"What is the meaning of this?" I stood and put the child behind me, standing up to the knights whom I could almost feel sneering under their helmets.

"This doesn't concern you, traveler. We are here on legitimate Circle business."

I arched a brow, channeling my teenage entitled self into a big aristocratic bundle and released it on the men.

"So is it your duty now to go around the countryside stealing children from the tutelage of their parents?"

He walked until he was directly on my face and I could feel the overwhelming urge springing in my head to defend myself before he could harm me, but he didn't manage to touch me or anything. A wave of heat swept over me and I thought that I'd finally lost control until the truth washed over me like a wave.

I extended my new sense and felt the Veil pierced close to me, and I turned to see the boy surrounded by flames. Adopting a calming expression I was about to try and snuffle it out with my own power, fearing that he would hurt me unintentionally but I didn't even manage that - instead one of the knights screamed something and, in a second, the pain I had felt in my veins since I fell from the black city was no more. It was so unexpected it distracted me completely from the task I had assigned myself.

It was weird, to say the least not to feel pain, not even a small tingle to tell me that I still kept my not-so-unique abilities… With growing trepidation, I sought the ever-present connection with the Fade, and it was still there, like a lifeline to a shore I had become dependant on, only it was dulled as if stretched over a long distance. The loud noise of metal on metal startled me out of my reverie, and I found the boy slumped in the arms of one of the knights, breathing harshly - that was all it took for the fury to rekindle within me, even when I still couldn't call so easily on the Fade.

"What have you done to him?!" I called, and the one I had spoken to before turned as if baffled I was still there.

There was a sneer in his voice, clear as dawn when he answered.

"The same thing we ought to do with every rogue mage: smite them to submission. It's our duty to keep them in line, and by the Maker, we will fulfill it."

His comment stirred some sort of unrest within his men but I couldn't hear them over the rush in my ears. I could feel the familiar pain slowly trickling back into me, icing my blood in the process while my brain processed what I knew.

They knew about this power. They had a name for what I was. There was a whole system in line to keep people with those abilities in check!

And I had stupidly put myself within their sights!

Anger swelled at myself and I turned away from the scene, unwilling to antagonize them any further. This had the smell of government conspiracy all over it and I wanted to be as far away as possible from it. I wandered back to the inn and looked over my things. I had a few days work with Theran yet, but after they were done I was going to be out of this damn town as fast as possible.

Living in the wild was a more pleasant prospect than being cooped up in a lab and experimented in.