A/N: So I'm doing something a little new in this chapter, perspective wise. You might not notice, I'm not sure how obvious it will be but I liked doing it, so whatever :D By the way, this is the longest chapter in this story, so yay! At least I'm giving you something good. You have less to complain about :)
PS – I went to Broadway with some friends and saw Equus!! To those of you who don't know what that is, look it up! I'm big on theatre and I can safely saw that Dan's acting was superb and the entire play was just riveting. Totally worth it.
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Harry slid into the Snape's office with a third of a second to spare, according to his watch. Though apparently, his watch was out of sync with Snape's.
"You're late, Mister Potter."
"I'm sorry Professor, I got caught up with Draco," Harry said, having the grace to look bashful.
"I don't particularly care where you were Potter. Let's get started, shall we?" As always, he didn't wait for an answer before pointing his wand and shouting the incantation.
"Legilimens!"
*Draco stalking out of the room, angry over his visit with Snape; laughing at Draco when after he nearly fell from his broom; seeing Draco in breakfast that morning and feeling his heart jump.*
They both picked themselves up off the floor. Harry had actually been the one to end it that time. Perhaps, he allowed himself to hope, he was getting better.
"Have you noticed that a remarkable number of your thoughts centre around Mister Malfoy?" Snape asked once they had recovered themselves.
"Well... He is my best friend so I guess that would make sense," Harry said, injecting sarcasm into an answer that seemed obvious.
"Indeed. Legilimens!"
*Remus' letter to him; he and Draco sitting in class together, snickering quietly at something the professor had said; he and Hermione talking about what to get Draco and Ron for Christmas, respectively.*
Harry couldn't end the connection this time, and had had to wait for Snape to retreat. It was only him picking himself up this time.
"Do try and defend yourself, Potter," Snape sneered.
'He wants me to defend myself?' Harry thought, angry at the snide remark. 'Alright'.
The next time Snape raised his wand, Harry was ready with his own by his side.
"Legilimens!"
"Protego!"
It happened so quickly that neither was really sure how to stop it. Snape had been caught completely off guard, not expecting such a manoeuvre from the Boy Who Lived, and Harry... Harry didn't realize what was happening until it was too late. Not that the knowledge would have stopped him.
*His Godson coming to talk to him about Harry's lessons, talking to him about their relationship – maybe they were more than friends, the curious look in Draco's eye, even through his denial. *
Harry was forcibly thrown out of his professor's head as they both, once again, fell to the floor. There was a strange air permeating the room. Snape was clearly furious at the invasion but there was also some measure of satisfaction. Harry was feeling downright shocked, both at Draco's reaction and at the fact that Snape would have that conversation with him.
"Um..." Harry stuttered awkwardly. "I'll just be leaving, then." He scrambled off the floor and practically ran out of the room before he could be stopped.
He ran up the stairs until he came to the Gryffindor portrait, at which time he collapsed. Running through Hogwarts was no small feat.
He sat, simply thinking. He was far less disturbed than he thought he ought to be. After all, he had just heard some pretty stirring evidence that his best friend held a romantic interest in him.
Granted, that wasn't coming out of nowhere. He had heard Snape's explanation and proof of why he thought this, and even Harry had to admit, it did seem that way. He wouldn't act with Ron as he did with Draco. They would certainly, to use Snape's example, never cuddle on a couch. However that was exactly how Draco and he spent most of their nights together. Which, to be fair, were most nights.
So what if their relationship was closer than most people's? So what if there was a touch of romantic feeling between them? Of course, he couldn't be sure that Draco felt anything at all, he could only be sure how he felt.
So now, to figure out how he felt.
Harry sighed. He liked Draco. He did. He really, really did. How much? More than he liked Ron, obviously. But strangely, he also liked him in a very different way. Other than Draco, he felt roughly the same about all of his friends. They were nice to be around, comfortable, and genuine. The feelings were very mellow and cheerful.
His feelings for Draco were slightly different. When they weren't together, he missed him. No matter how long they had been together, the moment he left, Harry felt as though he were missing a part of himself. His feelings towards him were very intense. He loved him – he did. He loved being around him, he loved his jokes, he loved the way it felt when they were curled up together, he loved Draco for everything he was.
Did that mean he was in love with him?
Eager for a change in scenery to clear his thoughts, Harry stood up and entered the Gryffindor Common Room.
"Hey Harry," said Draco, looking up from his work.
Harry faltered. It wasn't unheard of to find Draco in their Common Room, it was in fact, a regular occurrence. To find him here alone, however, was somewhat more rare.
"Hey, where's everybody else?"
"Most of them decided to go out for the day. I don't really know why nobody else is in here, though," he trailed off, probably realizing that it was a bit strange.
Uncaring, Harry traversed the room and sat next to him. "What are you working on?"
"Defence. Why else would I be here?" he asked, smirking.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Right, sorry. How could I forget my duties?"
He helped the blonde with his work for the next half hour, until Draco had an outline made up and a very clear idea of how to proceed.
"Thanks man, we're even," Draco said, cracking his fingers and settling his arm around Harry's shoulders. They leaned back, basking in the nearly finished work.
"I love Saturdays," Harry said before they fell into silence.
OOOoooOOO
Draco stared straight ahead, his arm around Harry's shoulders. He wouldn't risk glancing down.
He hated Severus for this. Draco could have lived many more years in either denial or ignorance, which is would have been, he couldn't say. But now... Now every time he looked at his friend, held his friend or even thought about him, he was swept away in thoughts of love instead of the safe and easy friendship of two months ago.
It was hard to believe his perspective had changed so drastically but so really in just two months. And Harry. He wasn't even inclined in that way. They hadn't kept one secret from each other from the time they had met. Their first kiss, their first flunking grade, even their first wank. There was no way Harry would have kept something as big as his sexual orientation from him.
He felt Harry shift in his arms, getting more comfortable. They hadn't spoken much over the past few minutes, but that was normal – expected, even. They spent so much of their days together that there wasn't always something new to talk about and they would simply settle for being in each other's presence.
Maybe, Draco considered, there was a chance that Harry liked him back. He had considered this many times and had yet to reach a conclusion. Harry hadn't dated much, or even at all, in the past few years, and, as much as Draco hated to admit it, Severus was right. They were a lot closer than more friends, even ones who lived together. He had never seen Harry act with anybody else the way he did with Draco.
But even if Harry did feel the same way, and they admitted it to each other, even if they started to date – here Draco cringed. He couldn't imagine 'dating' Harry. That word had always held the somewhat negative connotation of trying to get into a girl's pants, with him. But even if they started to 'date', where would it lead? Would he lose his best friend, the only person he was truly and completely comfortable with? Draco wouldn't be able to bear that. He would rather live with the crushing lust and sometimes overwhelming love he felt for Harry.
To an outside party, he knew this would seem like a decision. It would seem like he had made up his mind and could begin to gather his resolve in defence of his choice. Draco knew better. He knew that if the time ever came, the moment Harry decided he wanted him, he would fall to his knees in service.
No pun intended.
Not that, he had to remind himself, Harry would ever want him. He had to keep focus. Realistically, the choice he had just made was worthless because it would never come to that. He would remain friends with Harry, nothing more, and would thank Merlin every day that he could be allowed even that.
"What's wrong?"
He looked down to Harry, a mistake, he realized too late. The boy's green eyes were sharp with concern and he was a lot closer than Draco would have allowed otherwise.
"What are you talking about?"
"You looked a little upset," Harry said, glancing from eye to the other, trying to decipher the blonde's mood.
Harry was so close. Close enough that Draco could feel warm breath brushing lightly along his jaw, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand at attention.
'He's your friend', said a voice of reason, buried deep in his conscious thought. 'Remember what you had decided.' But at the moment, Draco couldn't remember his earlier reasoning. Life was all about taking chances, wasn't it? So shouldn't he grab the broom by the handle? Would he regret it if he didn't at least find out how Harry felt? Surely once Harry shot him down, the awkward feelings would only take weeks to pass. They could be back to this easy friendship in a month's time, with no regrets.
Mind made up and hormones raging, Draco leaned forward, advancing no more than an inch. At the distance they were currently at, however, an inch was made obvious.
Draco's heart cracked when Harry leaned back, retreating the distance the blonde had just advanced, confusion wrinkling his face.
"What?" Harry asked, with an uncomfortable smile.
Draco, for the first time in years, felt himself colour in a blush. "What? Nothing." He had to close to eyes for a moment in an effort to compose. When he reopened his eyes, Harry was closer.
It was his turn to ask, "What?"
"Nothing," Harry copied.
He then quickly, faster than Draco could entirely process in his state of mind, leaned in and pecked his lips against Draco's. It was fleeting, but the blonde knew he would never forget the soft, pliant lips under his, nor the violent and almost painfully strong jerk in his stomach.
When Draco's eyes refocused, they only settled on one thing. Harry's vulnerable face. He had turned quite pink, probably matching Draco.
"Sorry," Harry choked out before attempting to leave his resting place by Draco's side. Draco would have none of this, and grabbed him around the waist, preventing any further attempts.
"For what, exactly?" Draco asked before leaning in once more.
Now that he knew the Gryffindor was not totally opposed to this idea, and seemed to care enough to initiate a kiss, there was less on the line. It seemed that Harry wanted this, so why couldn't he? He would work on an exit strategy later, if and when it was called for.
For now, he just wanted to enjoy his Harry.
As his lips touched down on Harry's once again, his heart soared. His stomach was still lurching violently within but it had become a pleasant feeling, and was slowly moving south. He felt Harry freeze the second Draco kissed him but he slowly, oh so slowly, started to move against him. Draco moaned. It wasn't supposed to feel this good. Nothing was supposed to feel this good. This wasn't a guarantee, it wasn't a sure thing.
But despite that, the sheer volume of feeling and emotion that Draco experienced as Harry's lips moved against his was overpowering. He knew he shouldn't get attached to the feeling but it was impossible not to.
Unable to stop himself, Draco opened his lips against Harry's, hoping to Merlin that they would follow. They did and the next thing he knew, Draco's tongue was being readily accepted into his friend's mouth. The moment their tongues touched, Harry echoed Draco's earlier moan, which, on its own, elicited a whimper from the blonde.
The kiss grew bolder as he became lost in it, forgetting any consequences. He felt Harry's hands root themselves into his hair, holding his head in place. Not that they were needed to hold him there. He grabbed hold of Harry's waist, pulling him towards his own body. He felt Harry's legs separate and in the next moment, he was being straddled by his best friend, as they kissed deeply.
It crossed his mind that it was strange not having a delicate girl on top of him. This was a change – though not an unwelcome one. He could feel the power in Harry's body, a body every bit as broad and muscled as his own. This thought sparked his hands into motion once more. Draco ran his palms up from Harry's waist, feeling his tensed lats.
He broke the kiss, allowing them both to suck in the much needed oxygen, before kissing his way down Harry's neck, pausing to pay more attention to certain bits.
Harry moaned again, breathing deeply and ran his hands along Draco's neck and up into his hair once again.
Draco would never know what prompted Harry, it could have been anything from his own hands, which were rubbing his back rhythmically through his shirt, to the mere position they were in, but Harry started to rock.
The movements started slowly but had to impression of building in intensity fairly quickly. This was what forced Draco to finally put an end to their motions.
Draco knew that if Harry wanted to be with him, and of this, he was becoming more and more confident by the second, then he wanted to take things slowly. Not only because they were friends, but because Harry was rather inexperienced. Merlin, they were both inexperienced when it came to members of their own sex.
As much as it pained him, he gave a final kiss to Harry's neck, pecked his lips and stilled the other boy's movements.
They looked at each other, still in their intimate position from before. Draco considered the man he was in love with. His hair was ruffled, but perhaps no more so than usual, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were bright. Most attractively, though, were his kiss swollen lips. Draco had never seen his friend look so debauched in all the time they had known each other. With the girls, Harry never looked so dishevelled, never so thoroughly pleased.
"So," Harry said.
"Yes?" He replied, trying to evade being the one to talk about what had just happened.
"That was... weird." Harry sucked on his already swollen lip and ran a hand through his hair.
"Good weird?" Draco asked, smirking, already knowing the answer.
Harry smiled, apparently unable to help himself because he blushed right afterwards. "Shut up. Did you think it was good?" He asked, stressing 'you'.
Draco considered how to answer. Normally, the answer would be obvious. If Harry was one of the girls he was trying to woo, he would simply flatter them. He would seemingly lose all his reservations, when in reality, protecting himself.
This was different on just about every level he could think of. Flattery was not an option. There was too much on the line for this to be the flippant conversation it was turning in to. He had everything to lose. His pride, his reputation, his best friend.
He took a deep breath and looked at Harry seriously.
"Please don't run screaming. I really hope, more than you can imagine, that I'm not making a mistake in telling you this but... I think I like you. I think I've liked you for awhile." Draco was blushing again, for the second time that night. He had laid down all his cards in the simplest terms he thought possible. There would be no mistaking his intentions, no loopholes for Harry to hide in.
Harry was still straddling him, probably thoughtlessly, but it made the conversation that much more intense. They were as close as could be and every emotion that flashed across their faces was visible to the other. It was for this reason that, when unfiltered happiness and relief hooked to Harry's face for the briefest of seconds, Draco was able to decipher it and relax a bit.
"You know," Harry said quietly, "I really didn't know that until you tried to kiss me. You're not quite as subtle as I think you'd like to be." He staring at his own hands as he played absently with the buttons on Draco's shirt.
"But then you knew, and you kissed me," Draco prompted, confidence coming off him in waves.
Harry sensed his mood and rolled his eyes. "You know, you don't have to be quite so cocky. I'm still feeling pretty rough about the whole thing."
Draco's mood dropped dramatically. "What do you mean? Rough how? Do you regret kissing me?" he asked, trying to maintain an air of nonchalance and, he guessed, failing miserably.
"No," Harry reassured immediately. "It's just that I wasn't even sure I liked you until about fifteen minutes ago. It all just moved rather quickly for me," he smiled.
"Oh, well if that's all..." Draco perked right back up. "If it makes you feel better, we don't have so shout it from the rooftops just yet. In fact, I would actually appreciate you not telling Sirius for a bit," he added nervously. "I've seen the way he grills you about your love life."
Harry smiled and blushed as Draco connected himself to Harry's love life.
"So I guess that means you want to... get together or something?" he asked bashfully.
Draco rolled his eyes. "Harry, I like you. You said you like me. If that kiss was anything to go off, we have a fair bit of chemistry. I think it would be an insult to the world to not give this a shot."
Harry swatted his shoulder. "That's not very romantic, you know."
"I'll work on it, okay? For now, just promise me that I won't be getting an unannounced and slightly threatening visit from your Godfather."
Harry sighed and leaned in to rest his head on the other's shoulder. "Like I would tell him anyway."
OOOoooOOO
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