HA! I said I would get it done in a week or two, and I did! At the last second, but it still counts! I procrastinate like a boss (also school be like a bitch).
So, since I'm getting so many reviews, I've decided to only respond to the ones that ask direct questions. However, I do love that you guys take the time out of your day to send me these lovely notes. I really do appreciate it.
To SnowyRefuge, I had already answered your question in a PM, but on the topic of her pointing on the issues of last chapter, I would like to say, please, if you notice something is wrong, please, please, please let me know. The Ao3 version will have all errors fixed, so I would appreciate if you go and give me any type of criticism in order to improve this fic. I really appreciate it (just not grammar, punctuation, etc, as those I will have a beta go over. I'm talking plot wise and character wise. Focus on those, since I already have the writing part covered).
To those cursing me over cliffhangers, :D Guess how I'm ending this chapter? Just be expecting it from now on. I have to keep you on your toes, ya know? (AND YOU SECRETLY LOVE IT, YOU TSUNDERES!)
Yami Mizumi - I've looked up and around, and there's a TREATMENT, but not a 'cure.' At least not how we understand cures. Cures, in my book, tend to mean quick and easy. To cure TB, you have to go through six to a year's worth of treatment, and there's the chance of it coming back, especially if you happen to miss a dose of medicine, or it simply rebounds back. Hence why I said there's no "cure." (AND YES FATE/HISTORIA SHOULD BE CANON. ALL IN FAVOR SAY AYE.)
Myuhan - SOMEONE CALLED ME AUTHOR-SEMPAI I THINK I'M GOING TO DIEFLKHJDLTNJDFKGHJD *spasm on floor*
Also, to our two lovely survivors or TB, Myuhan and Otakugirl 13, I'll be doing something special this week~ Something I wasn't planning on doing, buuuuuuuuuut since I LOVE you all so much, keep an eye on my profile/story list. You'll see, eventually. ;)
NOTE: ALSO PLEASE MAKE SURE TO CHECK MY DA (BLOODOFCERBERUS) EVERY SO OFTEN. I TRY TO POST REVIEWS OF UPCOMING CHAPTERS THERE, SO YOU CAN GET A TASTE OF THIS FIC ON THERE.
-::All or Nothing::-
-:Chapter XIV – Behind the Curtains:-
He invited her inside with a single gesture. She followed him in, wondering just where this was going. Once inside his apartment, Saber felt the atmosphere change slightly.
The tension between the two was still high, yet it seemed as a bubble of a certain type of tension had been released. It was visible in Gilgamesh's shoulders, having sagged a bit. However, the silence was not broken until both were seated, with Gilgamesh crossing a leg over his leg and leaning back, and Saber placing her hands in her lap.
A moment was staring took place shortly after, until Gilgamesh scoffed and leaned his head back. "Stubborn," he mumbled, most likely to himself. When Saber didn't reply, Gilgamesh uncrossed his leg and leaned forward, his hands intertwined. "Arturia, let me remind you that you were the one who followed me to my home. So, if there's something you want to discuss with me, now is a good time—"
"Tuberculosis is a rather lethal disease, when left untreated," Saber interrupted. "But, if Enkidu got the disease in high school, and if it got proper treatment, he should be cured by now. Yet he isn't, and I have to assume it is due to his sickly body. So why aren't you helping him with the illness, especially with all those anonymous donations and your wealth that you love to wave around?"
"You seriously want to know that?" Gilgamesh asked, arching an eyebrow. When she only met him with a glare, he sighed. "First of all," he began, waving a finger at her, "something you should know about Enkidu is his blatant inability to acknowledge when there's a problem. Even though Enkidu stated he got the disease in high school, we never found out about it until some time after graduation."
"Some time after…" Saber repressed the gasp hovering on her lips. How could Enkidu be able to survive so long with such a terrible disease without any treatment? Gilgamesh seemed to sense what was going through her mind, as he added, "Remember that Enkidu was quite familiar with getting ill? He hates doctors and hospitals more than life itself, so he often supplies himself with various prescriptions. For two years, he somehow managed to keep the disease at bay… Then…"
"It came back?"
Gilgamesh snorted. "More like it showed its true, unadulterated colors. He became ill very quickly, and it was quite obvious it was lethal. I had to practically drag him to the hospital. That's when we all found out."
Saber looked down. "It must have been roughed."
"For Enkidu? Nonsense. He joked and goofed off as he typically did. He never took the threat seriously." Gilgamesh shook his head. "Either way, he stayed in the hospital for a year, but due to… complications, he had to return just two months later. The disease seemed to have been immune to certain treatments."
He looked up at her. "You need to understand, Arturia, that for someone like Enkidu, there is no 'cure.' There is only 'remission,' and 'relapse.' His body was never strong enough to fight off even common colds when he was younger. He just behaves jovially around others to put them at ease."
"I… see."
"So, now that you know, I believe it is my turn to ask the questions. When did you meet Enkidu?"
Saber blinked at him. "Why do you need to know?"
"I'm asking the questions here, Arturia." He shrugged. "And I feel I have the right to know, especially this is my friend and girlfriend talking."
Saber clicked her tongue. Honestly, this egotistical bastard really felt like he deserved everything. Although, perhaps Saber was glad he did feel that way right now; it gave her some semblance of normalcy now that their 'relationship' had taken a very strange, yet very unwanted turn. "Fine, then. We met some time back. And before your perverted brain goes any further, no, I haven't been cheating on you."
Gilgamesh barked out a laugh before stating, "Of course not! Enkidu isn't that type of person."
"You seem to put a lot of faith in your friend," Saber replied, arching an eyebrow.
"Is that really far-fetched?" He spread out his hands, smirking.
Saber felt her shoulders gradually relax. This exchange felt very familiar. Maybe there was no change in their relationship? She must have been imagining it. "Well, excuse me then. I simply took you as the type of person who didn't put his trust easily in others."
"I don't. Humans are naturally egotistical and will seek the quickest way to pleasure, even if it means stomping on others."
"Then why—"
His face became stoic at that moment. "Because it's Enkidu. That's all you need to know."
"Those donations you made anonymously?" She recalled the time back when she had confronted him in the mall. That was still confusion on her part over the issue.
"Were for research into Enkidu's ailing body."
"But why never tell anyone? Why has his name never appeared alongside with you?" It didn't make any sense. If Enkidu was so important, why was he never there?
However, Gilgamesh, ever the enigma, would yet again not share everything. "… I'm afraid that's just another secret you'll have to find on your own. I must say, though, you seem rather keen on discovering more and more about me. Have you suddenly gained an interest in my being or—"
"Don't falter yourself. There is a saying, 'Know thy enemy.' I don't trust you, Gilgamesh; that's why I 'gained an interest,' as you put it." If Gilgamesh's cockiness was a sign of normalcy, so was Saber's disgust in his overall behavior.
"Is that really the case, though?" Gilgamesh chuckled. Saber's inability to see the truth was always a riot for him. Does she not see that she, like every other woman he's touched, had fallen in love with him? "My dear Arturia, I seem to recall other interests that provided you no advantage, yet you still took it. Tell me that wasn't just for your own pleasure?"
Saber stood up suddenly, as he had predicted. "You and your hedonistic ways! Fine then, how about we talk about your feelings for me? Because it seems quite obvious that you do, according to your friend!"
"What?" This stuck him as odd but… Saber and Enkidu had spent some time together. They most likely talked, but about what he had never bothered to ask. However, hearing that Enkidu might have said something to Saber worried yet intrigued him. What had they talked about?
Saber had a confident smile on as she continued, "That's right. I've been talking with Enkidu over my issues with you. And you know what he kept saying?" She grew more confident as Gilgamesh's red eyes widened. "That that was the only way you knew how to express affection. That you clearly cared for me. That you valued me for more than you're willing to tell."
Something began to change in Gilgamesh's facial expression. His brow began to furrow, and his eyes narrowed slightly. "In fact, he specifically told me not to believe a single thing you said in regards to your own feelings, as you would dodge and twist the truth in order to avoid getting caught. You don't trust people. You try to demean them in order to discourage them, but what if that doesn't work? What then, Gilgamesh?"
Nothing. He stared elsewhere, not looking at her, a strange look on his face.
"I hit the nail, didn't I?" She edged him on, trying to get a response.
"Arturia."
Finally, he responded. She let out a laugh, crossing her arms. "Willing to admit your defeat? That you're not as great as you like to proclaim yourself to be?"
"Please leave."
The command, oddly lacking in authority, sounded more like a request. Which was very un-Gilgamesh like. "What?"
"I am requesting you leave my temporary residence. Or do I need to translate that to English in order for you to understand?"
His voice had sounded tight, like he didn't want to talk anymore. Deciding to obey his request, she got and walked over to the door. "No, you do not."
"Good, then." He got up from his chair and met her at the door. Opening it, he turned to her, still not meeting her eyes. "I have business to take care of, so these next two weeks will free for you. Do not worry about any surprise visits or dates."
Saber mentally reeled. What was going on? But she didn't ask, as questions now began to arise in her mind. Something to discuss with Enkidu later, then. If Gilgamesh won't answer her, then Enkidu will. "Very well. Good bye." She bowed, then left.
When she had disappeared down the stairs at the end of the hallway, Gilgamesh closed the door, then went over to the phone. Time to get started on taking care of this 'business' of his.
xxxxx
Enkidu, you bastard. But as the words suck in deeper and deeper into his psyche, Gilgamesh couldn't help but think back. The time he had worried over her during that rain storm. When he came to her rescue after having a large fight with her.
Was he somehow losing the battle that he was so certain on winning? It couldn't be. Gilgamesh just didn't fall in love. He couldn't. This girl was nothing more than a plaything. He had no intention of continuing the relationship the moment Saber lost and begged to be by his side. Yet these past dates had been hard. How many times had he been staring at her, wondering, hoping even, her feelings for him had changed somewhat?
He grew more irritated with her when he tried to be nice. He found it difficult to deal with her rejections. He began to yearn for her, thinking of her more and more often.
This couldn't be happening. This was not how Gilgamesh worked.
xxxxx
A phone call later….
"Enkidu, tell me something."
"I already told you, I got dismissed from the hospital without playing any strings. I have my girlfriend keeping an eye on my medications, and I'm taking it easy. You don't have to worry about me, alright?"
Gilgamesh resisted the urge to click his tongue dismissively. "That's not what I was going to ask."
"Oh, then what?" Bastard, sounding as playful as always. Gilgamesh normally didn't mind this carefree attitude, but right now, he wasn't having any of it.
"You've been discussing certain things with Arturia."
"Oh. Oh, that! Yes, well, I do find it funny now, thinking back."
"Why did you get it in her head that I have feelings for her?"
"You mean you don't?"
"Of course! This engagement was arranged!"
"Back up, Gil. Tell me everything."
Gilgamesh decided, for the sake of his idiot friend, to explain what he could. The rules still hovered over his head on not speaking of the truth of their relationship, so he decided to sum up the relationship as an arranged marriage, yet the two were willing to part ways if things didn't work out.
It's not like he was lying about it either. All Saber had to do was not admit to falling in love with Gilgamesh. Then they would part ways. He wasn't breaking any rules, since he made no mention of the bet. And hopefully, Enkidu would clear his mind of ridiculous concepts, such as Gilgamesh falling in love.
He did not expect Enkidu's next comment.
"Huh. Well, Gil, I hate to—no, wait, I don't, but you have a thing for her."
Gilgamesh frowned. "I do not."
"Gil, how long have we known each other?"
"Eighteen years."
"Did you predict who I would date?"
"Yes."
"Were you right?"
"You're easy to read."
Enkidu chuckled on the other end. "My girlfriend begs to differ."
"What is your point?"
"You liiiike her."
"Shuddup."
"Nope. You liiike her, but you're too tsundere to admit it."
Tsun-what now? "What the? Tsundere?"
"Manga reference, Gil. Japanese entertainment at its finest. But either way, you have a thing for her. What's the harm, anyway? Just play with the idea. You might find you enjoy it."
"Enkidu—"
"Oh, hang on, Gil. Shamhat's trying to call. Good luck with your girlfriend!"
His phone suddenly clicked. Gilgamesh held the cell out in front of him, looking at it as if he's been betrayed. "Enkidu! Dammit, you bastard!"
xxxx
He did trust Enkidu with every fiber of his being. But it just seemed out-there for Gilgamesh to… He wasn't the type to fall in love. He swore again and shook his head. Sleep would help clear his head.
The next two weeks were hell for Gilgamesh. His mind kept going to back to his conversation with Saber, then to Enkidu's, all the while swirling his brain into a big pile of mush.
He had always thought of himself as the top dog, the one who controlled everything from behind the curtains. Yet here, it's like the veil was pulled back, and he was the average man behind the curtains, controlling the all powerful wizard of Oz.
And this all powerful wizard was being discovered by sweet little Dorothy. His walls were beginning to come down, and part of it was thanks to his overly friendly best friend Enkidu. His thoughts zipped back and forth, waging full on war against himself.
He didn't like Saber. Nope, not a bit. Sure she was interesting, but that was all. Nothing more, nothing less.
She was like a toy, something to play with. She was the mouse, he the cat.
Perhaps, he had underestimated her worth. She was not just interesting, she was far more than fascinating. He found himself thinking about her, wondering about her various reactions towards him, wanting to know more about her as a person. But he was only curious, he just wanted to know more.
Maybe he was having too much fun. It was like he was a small child, and she was the adored teddy bear that he brought everywhere. But he'd soon lose interest. He was certain of it.
He had only agreed to their little bet because he was bored. He wanted a change of pace, something to spark some life into his life.
Who was he kidding, though? Gilgamesh wasn't a liar. He loved a challenge, and Saber had been more than happy to oblige, and now, he feared he became addicted to the game. But it was still a game, right?
A game he wasn't winning, maybe, but it was still a game. And despite his reservations on thinking that Saber was an interesting person he'd like to get to know more personally, that was all that really changed.
Xxxx
During her two "weeks off," Saber decided to spend more time with her family. Irisviel thankfully didn't probe into this, and neither did Kiritsugu. However, Illyasviel didn't seem to understand the basic concept of privacy, constantly running up to Saber and asking her if she had a boyfriend, or if she was meeting with a 'special friend.'
Of course, Saber couldn't always hide her meetings with Gilgamesh as business meetings or school related. Since meeting up with Enkidu, she had decided to call her dates with Gilgamesh as "meeting with a friend." She didn't say much about this "friend," as she merely told the others that she was meeting someone she had recently met (which was true for both men), that he was from Uruk (which was true as well for both), and yes, he was a man (obviously).
Shirou had gotten a little uncomfortable when he heard the person Saber was meeting was a man. He had been nervous around her, asking her odd questions, questions Saber guessed were Shirou's way of probing if she had a boyfriend.
Saber tried to answer the questions truthfully but, at the same time, dodged some of harder to answer questions. She would have to tell him one of these days. She had no idea how he would respond to the knowledge.
However, despite her temporary freedom, Saber found herself oddly at a miss. She visited with Enkidu again, and she ended up sharing with him the conversation after Enkidu and Gilgamesh reuniting. Enkidu had merely laughed it off, saying Gilgamesh had called him and demanded answers.
After an hour long conversation, Enkidu had repetitively told her that his analysis was correct, then joking if Saber was now developing feelings of her own.
Honestly, perhaps Enkidu was fancying himself a love expert. According to him, he had a girlfriend for awhile now. It made sense that, since he had experience, he would know more than Saber. And that, since he was close friends with Gilgamesh, that he could know his friend inside and out. But there was only so much knowledge a single person could possess.
She didn't really believe Gilgamesh had feelings for her. She had simply used it as payback, and it had worked, perhaps too well. Pride was something she knew Gilgamesh valued. And she had wounded him by accusing him of something untrue.
Admittedly, she felt bad about it. There was a line she drew over what to say or not, and saying things that were simply untrue was out of the question. Yet here she was, using another's opinion as a valid piece of information. In fact, this was the second time. The first time had been using those gossip sites as a source of information.
At the time, she had been desperate for some kind of lead, despite that not being an excuse. At least that piece of information can proved as true, but that had been her only lucky break. This time she had gone too far, and she made a note to apologize to Gilgamesh later.
Xxxx
Shirou asked her a question one particular day.
Saber had just received her text from Gilgamesh on their next date. It was her turn to pick the spot, and she was having some trouble deciding where to go. Thinking the café she and Enkidu frequented, she was typing in her answer when Shirou spoke up;
"Saber, are you …dating someone?"
The question was up front. There was no conversation to detrack from, nor was Irisviel nearby to bring up a new subject. Saber had always tried to avoid answering that question, but now it seemed Shirou had finally backed her into a corner.
Sighing, she lowered her phone to look him in the eye. His eyes were desperate, pleading with her to be honest. There was no backing out. But maybe, just maybe, she can lessen the blow. Maybe even gear the topic elsewhere. Hopefully.
"Shirou," she began carefully, "I believe I told you that you and I can't work it out. My family would never accept it—"
"Mom didn't care what her family thought!" Shirou countered. "So why does it matter to you so much?"
"Because, Shirou," Saber replied, a bite edging into her tone, "Irisviel and I are different. I'm not saying her decision was wrong, as it was her choice to make. But what I am saying is that you respect my decisions and allow me to make my own choices. If I choose to date for the sake of status, then that is my decision."
"But it's a terrible decision!" Shirou snapped back. "You're not marrying for love."
"Marriage is not about love, Shirou." She stared at him. How could he possibly understand the world she lived in was so different from his own? "Marriage has, since the dawn of time, been about heirs, combining families, and protecting wealth and status. Only recently has marriage become centered around love, but even that fails."
When he didn't counter, she continued, "For many people, marriage takes on a different meaning. Some are right, and some are wrong. This is by means a justification for marrying for wrong reasons. However, my reason to marry is to find someone who I can work with, who understands my goals and will aid me in accomplishing those goals."
"That sounds more like a business partner than a marriage," Shirou grumbled.
Saber shrugged. "Perhaps, but it's what I'm comfortable with."
"You still didn't answer my question, though." Shirou leaned forward a bit, looking directly into her eyes, not even blinking. "Are you dating someone? And don't run away from the question."
Saber looked back. It turned into a bit of a staring contest. Silence held the air still, and it appeared if time itself had stopped. Finally, however, an answer came. She never once broke eye contact as she responded with a definite, "Yes."
Saber didn't see it, but Shirou felt it. Something, a feeling Saber had never understood, happened in Shirou's young, naïve heart.
It broke in two, as he finally pulled back and walked away.
Okay dokey, I'll be working on updating another fic for NaNoWriMo for the rest of the month, so December will be the next update. Look forward to it (AND CHECK BLOODOFCERBERUS FOR SNEAK PEEKS!)
Also, I have a tumblr! msbeastlyeevee~