Chapter 14:
"So... you wanna walk in the neighborhood ?" Puck asks Kurt as they're still standing by the underground station entrance.
"Actually I saw a station on the tube map that caught my attention." Kurt says, taking the map out of his pocket and showing it to Puck. "The station just before this one, Warwick Avenue. It's written little Venice and I'd love to see what it looks like." He says, looking at Puck with big hopeful eyes.
"Sure." Puck shrugs, not giving a damn where they're going to anyway. They take the subway once again for one station and when they're outside again they find themselves near by a little canal with a little bridge that passes over it. Puck isn't into cute and lovely stuff, except for Kurt of course, but the place looks really nice even in the cold of December. Some ducks and swans are dragging themselves lazily on the dark water that runs slowly under the bridge. But the best thing about this place is not how peaceful it is or what a beautiful painting it would do. No, the best thing about this place is Kurt's face as he takes in the beauty of his surroundings. There's a small smile curving his lips and Puck is almost sure Kurt doesn't even realize he's smiling right now, it's just natural. Kurt looks up at Puck, his smile still in place.
"Do you mind if we go and sit by the water ?" Kurt asks him.
"Let's go." Puck answers. He grabs Kurt's hand casually as he starts walking but Kurt snatches it back quickly.
"Don't." He simply says, sadly. Puck doesn't say a thing, he just walks down the stony stairs with Kurt following him not as closely as he used to. He tries to remember when things got that bad between them. They are best friends and can't spend one day without talking to each other. Puck has never felt so close to someone than he does with Kurt, even before he realized how much the boy counts for him. And he loves him, he really does, Kurt is the best thing that ever happened to him and he really thought he counted for Kurt as well. But apparently he doesn't. They walk for a while, in a deep silent, just breathing and looking around. Finally Puck sits by the water, his feet almost touching the dark water but not quite.
"I'm sorry for earlier." Kurt states, looking at his hands resting on his lap. "About the kiss." He adds. Puck shrugs.
"It's nothing, it was all Blaine's fault." Puck replies to lift the guilt off Kurt's shoulders once and for all. Kurt doesn't answer, they just stay here, sitting in the silence of the late December morning, but it's not like before, they're not enjoying each other company. There's tension between the two of them.
"It wasn't." Kurt speaks up suddenly. Puck looks at him intrigued. "I mean, yeah it was his fault but that's not the reason why I'm sorry." He says looking at the water.
"Then what are you sorry for ?" Puck asks kind of lost here.
"You're going to hate me."
"Stop fuckin' saying that ! I won't ever hate you don't you get it ?" Puck says, tired of Kurt always being so self depreciating. Kurt gives him a sad smile.
"It's just... we can't go on not talking to each other right ?" Kurt continues. "I mean, I'm pretty sure you're going to hate me and never talk to me again when you'll know but at least the truth will be told. If I don't tell you we'll just slowly drift away and not be friends anymore, not even knowing the truth."
"You're rambling." Puck points out.
"What I mean is that, I kinda like being your friend, I really do." Kurt says, staring at his hands again.
"You'd better like being my friend, you're my best friend !" Puck tells him, it earns him another bitter laugh.
"All I'm asking is for you not to hate me because I … I love you and I enjoyed the kiss. I know I shouldn't have, I know it's like I violated y-"
"Bullshit !" Puck states, making Kurt shut his mouth directly.
"I beg your pardon ?" He asks, shocked.
"You didn't enjoy the kiss." Puck says, looking at Kurt right in the eyes.
"I think I'm the only one who's in right to say if I did enjoy it or not Puck." Kurt tells him coldly.
"I didn't enjoy it." Puck simply says. Kurt gasps at him, eyes wide open in hurt.
"I- I-"
"I know you're not used to kissing people and stuff but shit man, you didn't even move your lips seriously !" Puck explains, he feels so damn relaxed since Kurt told him that he loves him.
"Are you doubting my kissing skills Puckerman ?" Kurt asks, trying to sound self confident when he, sure as hell, is not.
"I just know that I can trust mine." Puck shrugs, cupping Kurt's cheek with his hand and leaning towards the boy to meet his lips. He catches glimpse of Kurt closing his eyes before he shuts his closed and meets Kurt's soft lips once again. This time, Puck allows himself to add some movement to the kiss, he parts his lips and gently licks Kurt's lips to ask for permission to enter his mouth and meet his tongue. It's ironical to think that his cock got to meet Kurt's tongue but not his mouth, he thinks to himself. When Kurt parts his lips slightly, he slides his tongue inside his mouth and moves his hand from Kurt's cheek to his hair to bring him closer. Maybe Puck is not the kissing kind, but damn, that's exactly what he wanted from Kurt and that's even better than what he expected for Kurt's first real kiss. But he should have guessed because, if Kurt's first blow job rocked his world, his first kiss would obviously be mind blowing. Puck thinks he could have held the kiss longer if Kurt had not broken it, but the boy's not used to it so it's okay he thinks to himself. He looks at Kurt who looks torn between sadness and desire. He looks away his cheeks and neck flushed.
"Wh... why did you do that ?" Kurt asks shyly, not making eye contact with Puck.
"That's how we enjoy a kiss." Puck simply says with a cocky grin at Kurt's embarrassment. "You said you enjoyed the kiss and shit and I told you it was bullshit and that's proof because that's what I call a kiss."
"Puck." Kurt says sternly, staring at the floor.
"What ?" He asks, not getting why isn't Kurt super happy by what just happened.
"You can't just... I don't want you to kiss me to show me how a real kiss is supposed to be like, okay ?"
"You just told me you loved me !" Puck says, feeling lost. What is Kurt telling him ? That he doesn't love Puck, that he doesn't want Puck to touch him ?
"Exactly !" Kurt exclaims. "I told you how I feel, it doesn't mean I want you to kiss me by pity, I don't need it okay ?" Kurt says, trying to hide how wretched he feels. Puck stares at him in shock for several seconds. Is that really what Kurt thinks he's doing ?
"D'you seriously think I'd kiss you out of pity ?" He asks, trying hard to stifle a laughter.
"If not, then why ?" Kurt asks, looking down at the stony ground between their thighs.
"I wouldn't play fake boyfriend for anyone Kurt, and I'd certainly not kiss someone if I didn't want to, even less a dude." Puck starts. "And as much of a friend as you were to me, I'd never kiss you just because you're sad."
"I was ?" Kurt asks, his voice already quivering making Puck smile gently.
"Yeah you were, because you told me you love me and friends don't love each other like that, they don't kiss and they certainly not suck the other off in the shower. And since we both do or wanna do all those things, we'd better be boyfriends I guess." Puck says, grinning to a still sad looking Kurt.
"We both want that ?" Kurt asks shyly.
"Fuck yeah we both do ! Maybe I want it even more than you since if it was only up to me we'd be making-out right now instead of talking lamely." Puck explains.
"So you really do like me ?" Kurt asks, his eyes opened wide in disbelief. Puck melts at that face, he looks like a child on Christmas day seriously.
"You're everything to me Kurt. Why d'you think I was so freaking jealous of Blaine ?" Puck asks rhetorically. Kurt smiles widely at him, taking him in his arms to hug him tightly.
"I love you even more when you're jealous." He states in his ear and Puck feels the butterflies in his stomach flutter again.
"Can I ask you a question ?" He asks Kurt.
"Sure." Kurt answers, looking slightly worried.
"How d'you call this weird thing that happens I your stomach when you're happy ?" He asks, feeling totally lame. Kurt looks thoughtful for a second.
"It feels a bit like pop corn jumping but instead of a microwave it's in your stomach." He says finally.
"Pop corn ! That's cool !" Puck says happily. "I've been feeling those freaking butterflies for days and couldn't find a better name." He explains.
"Butterflies ? Really ?" Kurt asks trying not to burst out laughing.
"Hey don't laugh at me !" Puck tells him and that is the last straw to make Kurt laugh for good.
A/N: It took some time, didn't it ?
Thanks for your reviews, they make me smile so much, I think my jaw's going to stay stuck in smiling position. Please go on !
Love you all.
Ant.
=)