Chapter 14
Harri groaned softly as he made his way slowly towards consciousness. He immediately recognized the antiseptic odor of Med Bay and let loose another groan in dismay. As he laid there he began taking stock of his condition and searched his mind for a reason why he was here. After a moment everything seemed to coalesce and came into perfect focus.
"Lee," he whispered aloud as he recalled finding the young man outside his door. He had been completely surprised to see him standing there tall and strong, since up until the call from Jamieson he had been in a semi-vegetative state in Med Bay. There had been such an unusual glint to his eyes and that disconcerting smile; he actually feared he was there to make good on his threats made on Odeja, to kill him.
"Oh god son, I am so sorry," Harri whispered. "Please forgive me."
"Admiral?" a quiet and unexpected response came from across the room.
Harri's eyes snapped open and his heartrate jumped significantly as he recognized the voice of his captain and chosen son. If he had been on a heart monitor the change in pulse rate would have summoned the nursing staff immediately. The room was dark but he quickly spotted a figure standing by the window bathed in the faint moonlight.
Fear washed over Harri as he tried desperately to see the face of the man in the room. "Lee?" he called out apprehensively. "Is that you, son?"
"Yes, it's me. How are you feeling?" he asked quietly.
"I…I…I'm fine son. How are you?" Harri stammered. The fear he felt was now abundantly evident in his voice.
"I'm fine as well," Lee replied neutrally. He moved back across the room and pulled the chair closer to the bed.
"What is it you want, Lee? Why are you here?"
The figure moved in front of the chair and sat down. "I made a promise to myself sir and I'm here to fulfill it," Lee answered cryptically.
Harri sighed deeply trying to steady his nerves. He steeled himself for the impending attack; one that he felt he truly deserved. "What promise is that, son?" he asked, fearful of the answer.
"I'm here to apologize sir," Lee answered quietly. "I'm here to ask your forgiveness for what happened on Odeja, for what I said."
"What?!" Harri responded completely surprised by the answer he received. "Lee why would you ever think you owe me an apology for what happened there?"
"I went too far Harri; I never should have said what I did," Lee replied. "I should never have compared you to Seamus. I know you would never willingly agree to engage in slave trade. My intention was only to tempt our captors into letting me go free to demonstrate just how deadly I could be. I shouldn't have brought Seamus up; it served no purpose. I saw your reaction, how hurt you were and I was ashamed for dragging that out."
Harri could barely make out the man seated next to him. As best he could tell he was staring intently at the floor as he wrestled with some sort of misguided guilt. "Lee, son, could we please have a little light? I need to see you, lad." He watched as the dark figure rose from the chair and moved towards the bed and flipped on the light behind Nelson's head.
They both blinked and squinted their eyes as they adjusted to the light. As his vision focused Harri looked over at Lee, he was genuinely pleased to see the young man healthy and hale after having last seen him little more than a breathing corpse for what seemed forever. He smiled at him and the smile was readily returned which filled him with joy.
"I'm sorry I frightened you, sir," Lee said. "Jamie basically forbade me from being here when you first awoke because he thought you would be alarmed. You woke up much earlier than he anticipated. I've been sneaking in between vitals checks just to sit with you. I couldn't stay away, not until I had my say before you sent me away."
Harri looked at him quizzically, unable to think of anything that Lee would have taken as a reason for him to send him away. He held out his hand to the younger man. Lee moved forward and grasped it. Harri pulled him close, and enveloped him in a desperate hug, which Lee returned without hesitation.
"Lee there's nothing in this world or the next you have to apologize for. It's me that needs to beg your forgiveness, son. I threw you to those wolves and they abused you beyond my wildest fears. I'm so sorry. I wasn't clever enough to figure a better way out and I almost lost you in the bargain. Oh god Lee, please forgive me." Harri said as he hugged him tighter.
"You have no need to apologize sir. You did the only thing you could to keep the Earth safe. I was a minor sacrifice to keep them from carrying out their plans. In the same situation, I would have been forced to sacrifice you the same way," Lee replied. He pushed out of the admiral's embrace and sat back down in the chair. "I knew from the video they showed me you had no choice. It took a while but it did dawn on me. I knew you would never willingly give me up."
"How could you know from that Lee?" Harri asked.
"We've been together for a long time sir; we've played entirely too much poker for me not to be able to read you," he replied with a slight smile. "Your face, your posture, your voice all screamed a losing hand. You wouldn't sell out any member of your crew let alone the planet if you had any other choice. Given the prize you were playing for, I was little more than an ante, a small price to pay."
Harri stared at Lee surprised at his reasoning and deductions. "You're 100% right and 100% wrong," he responded. "You're right in that I would never willingly betray any member of my crew or my species, but you couldn't be more wrong about the price. Lee you are worth more to me personally than anything I own or hold dear, with the sole exception of Edith. There you are of equal value to me. I condemned myself to hell and back for 'giving' them access to you."
Lee stared at Harri, overwhelmed at his disclosure, then lowered his eyes in embarrassment. He tried to speak but found himself incapable of responding. Both men were intensely private individuals holding close their emotions not daring to reveal too much of themselves to anyone. This shared experience had stripped away that last barrier between them and left them both as raw and vulnerable as an exposed nerve.
"Please Lee, forgive me son."
"If it will help you rest easy, then yes I forgive you although you did nothing wrong. In exchange, I hope you will accept my apology as well." Lee replied.
Harri laughed quietly and nodded. "Yes son, it will help me to rest easy and I accept your apology, though you were well within in your rights to draw that conclusion given the situation in which I placed you. I think you may have missed your calling as an actor lad, because I fully believed you had every intention of coming after me if you got free."
Lee returned Harri's smile and chuckled. "Then I did my job well. I had to make them believe there was nothing I wanted more than to make you pay for your betrayal. I think the biggest surprise for them was how quickly I could move even after enduring their ministrations. I'm sure Demari was wondering what had gone wrong right up until the moment it went pop."
"The price for underestimating you Lee is exceedingly high and I personally do my best not to fall into that trap." Harri replied. They sat there in silence as they worked to deal with the horrors and emotional trauma that they had faced.
"Thank you for getting me out sir. I wish I could have been of more help but it doesn't look as if you needed it," Lee finally said breaking the awkward silence.
"Your diversion, and dare I say shot of inexorable justice, was invaluable Lee. It was the moment of shock we needed, and then I was further assisted by Pradjic when it dispatched Kolmar. Without it, we would both have died on that planet," Harri explained. "I think between us; we gave the Odejaians a very painful lesson in underestimating the human race."
Lee smiled slightly and nodded his agreement. "Well sir, I best let you get back to sleep so Jamie will let you out. Plus, I need to get back to bed before they discover me gone and tie me down. Jamie has made some very explicit threats I have no doubt he will carry out if I'm found to be UA again. Good night sir." He stood and began walking towards the door.
(ooloo)
Not willing to let this opportunity escape him, Harri called him back. "Lee, before you go there's something else I want to talk with you about. Please come back and sit down."
"What's that sir?" he asked as he returned to his seat.
"Lee I think I've been successful in letting you know how important you are to me, how I feel about you."
Lee nodded his head agreeing with Harri's assessment. "Yes sir, you have. I'm still blown away by the fact you think of me as a son. And you know that I more than return those feelings, I hope."
Harri smiled and nodded, he too was amazed that Lee had long considered him his father. "Seizing on those feelings Lee, son, uh…I very much want to make you heir to all I have. Lee, by doing this, I think this expresses in a tangible way how much you have come to mean to me; how much I love you, son. I want you to take over NIMR, I want you to be the person to lead the way into the future and ensure my vision stays alive once I'm gone."
Lee sat there completely dumbfounded, never in his life expecting something like this. Over Christmas Harri had said that he considered Lee like a son, but he had no idea his affection was to this depth. Harri sat there expectantly waiting for his response. After nearly a minute Lee finally found his voice.
"Admiral, you…that…I… That's too much sir. You don't owe me a thing and if this is somehow an attempt to make up for what happened on Odeja, it's not necessary. What about Edith? You shouldn't rush into anything like this sir."
"Lee my motives for doing this are wholly selfish and aren't driven by any need on my part to atone for my role in what happened to you on Odeja. I still need to find a way to do that regardless of what you say, but that's a discussion for another time," Harri began. "I have been planning this for some time and had started to tell you about this on FS-1 just before you spotted that flash. I had the papers drawn up months ago and was only looking for the right time to broach the subject. I've discussed this thoroughly with Edith and she couldn't agree more. She doesn't have the interest and fire for what we do, and although she would do an excellent job taking NIMR forward, it would be more a chore than a labor of love. This is something I want to pass onto someone who shares my vision and my passion for our work, I want to pass this on to my son, to you Lee."
Lee stared incomprehensibly at Nelson trying desperately to process what he had just heard. How could he even consider giving his life's work to him, the gutter snipe, throw away child no one really ever wanted? Harri smiled slightly, enjoying catching Lee so off guard and unprepared. Given Lee's continuing silence Harri pressed forward.
"To be honest Lee, I never really had the desire for a wife and family, in large part because of the time and energy those commitments require. Those roles and responsibilities would have taken valuable time and attention away from what I wanted to achieve in life, which was Seaview and NIMR. To my credit, I think not caving into the pressures to take on the traditional family was one of the better decisions I made in my life. I spared whichever souls unfortunate enough to get stuck with me the pain and heartbreak of being always second or maybe third in my list of priorities and subject to my temper and moodiness when things didn't go well."
Lee stared at him and shook his head in the negative. As he prepared to respond, Harri held up his hand.
"You know me well enough to know that to be the truth, lad," he said with a chuckle. "Interesting thing though, strangely that all changed when I met you. From the moment I rescued you from the frozen streets of Annapolis your first Christmas at the Academy, I think I've always known I wanted you to be a part of my life. I found this gaping hole, an emptiness and longing for someone to share in what I was doing and someday have that person take that part of me into the future to live and grow beyond my time. I found that person in you, Lee."
"I found in you the son that I never knew I wanted or even needed. I discovered a kindred spirit whose thirst for knowledge equaled my own; whose honor, integrity, dedication, and drive to be the best resonated with me. Also, you get me, and there are so few in this world that truly understand me and my quirks. Even as a plebe, you never seemed overwhelmed by the differences in our ranks or stations in life. Your interactions with me have always been so open and trusting, and you've been unafraid to voice your opinion, even if it differs from mine, from the start. To this day Jiggs can't figure out why the hell I let you get away with that. I find myself incredibly comfortable in your company and I'm able to relax and be myself. Again there are very few who fall into that category, and you know them all. So son, what do you say, would you be willing to take over for me when the time comes and allow me to make you my beneficiary and my heir?"
Lee sat there completely stunned by what Harri had just revealed. He fought hard to make any words come out but found himself having difficulty talking. He finally pulled in a deep breath, then blew it out, and attempted to respond one more time.
"Wow, what can I say?" Lee started.
"You could say yes," Harri offered quietly, a slight smile on his face.
"You credit me with too much, sir. I'm not worthy of such a gift. I'm sure there are others better suited to take NIMR into the future."
"I'm not a particularly spiritual man or inclined to believe in a predetermined life plan, but fate, for lack of a better word, seemingly keeps throwing us together time and again, and more times than not it's you coming to my rescue. Lee you have had my back at every turn since I met you and many times to your detriment, and yet you still call me friend. There's no one I trust or can rely on more. Given you keep popping up like a bad penny, I'm ready to quit fighting fate and recognize that we were meant to be together from the start."
"It hasn't been a one-way street Harri, you've been there for me just as much. You did rescue me that Christmas in more ways than you can imagine. Don't you think you're taking a huge chance with your legacy leaving it in my hands? I'm not a scientist, I'm a sub jockey and not much more than that," Lee answered.
"I don't doubt my decision Lee; I've never been wrong when it comes to you. There was no one else I really envisioned as Seaview's captain. I had you in mind from the start but was stymied in my attempts to lure you away. It took a tragedy, may John rest in peace, and an improbable success in saving our country, that allowed me to coerce the President and the Navy into letting me have you. I can think of no one else I want at the helm of NIMR after I've had my fill but you." Harri continued.
"Look how much of the operations you have already taken responsibility for Lee, and you do it all extremely well. I see you and Chip leading NIMR on to bigger and better things down the line. I have the enviable position of being able to choose my son, and I have found and selected the best son in the world, you Lee. The only regret I might have is that I didn't find you sooner when your life was truly hell or didn't act faster to claim you, but then I suppose all things come in their own time, if we attribute our actions to fate. We had to reach this moment to be ready to take the next step forward. So what do you say, will you allow me the great honor of claiming you as son and to bestow what few gifts I can upon you?"
Lee remained absolutely still, not because he was uncertain of his response but because he was fighting hard to maintain his composure. He raised his hands to his face and quickly wiped away the moisture that had gathered in his eyes. He was precariously close to losing it. As he prepared to answer, the door to Harri's room suddenly swung open and Jamieson entered.
"There you are! Care to tell me what you're doing out of bed and in here Mister?" Jamie blustered.
"Jamie…I just dropped by to check on the admiral...he was awake and wanted to talk," Lee replied lamely.
"That's the truth, Jamie. I saw Lee looking through the window and waved him in," Nelson lied. "We've had a great chat, cleared the air, and resolved issues of guilt, betrayal, and such."
Jamieson glowered at both men, knowing all too well they would cover each other's ass until the end of time. "All right, well you're supposed to be in bed Captain and you're supposed to be asleep Admiral. If you are unable to comply with those prescriptions I have pharmaceuticals and straps that will resolve those lapses in your complicity."
Both men smiled at the chastisement knowing Jamie had quickly determined their conversation had been mutually beneficial. Nelson pulled up the blankets and scooched down in his bed. Lee rose from his chair and began heading for the door.
As Lee grabbed the handle and pulled open the door, Harri spoke. "So what do you say, Son? What is your answer?"
Lee looked back at Harri and smiled. "Yes is my answer, sir. I would be honored beyond all bounds of comprehension to accept your offer. Although I think we'll find Necessity* a better venue for further discussions on the subject."
Harri smiled and began to laugh. "Agreed son. Once we're both set free I think Necessity is an essential."
Lee smiled again and chuckled as he regarded Jamie's confused expression. "Are you done now?" The doctor asked petulantly, knowing something important had just occurred between these two men.
"Yes Jamie," Lee replied. "I'm on my way back to bed. I'll see you in the morning, and you too Harri."
"Sleep well, Son. I'll see you for breakfast. Is that satisfactory with you Jamie?" Nelson replied.
Jamie scowled at them again, but inside was thrilled to find they had resolved any issues from Odeja and were ready to move forward. He definitely noticed Lee's use of the admiral's first name, something he rarely if ever used in front of others. He also noticed the pain and guilt he'd seen in Harri's eyes was gone. Something of great import had definitely just happened. "Yes that's fine with me as long as you both go back to bed and get the rest you need. Lee go back to your room and I'll be there after I've ensured the admiral is well on his way to recovery."
"Will do Jamie. See you in the morning, sir." Lee answered and shot Harri a shy and slightly embarrassed smile before he exited his room.
"Good night son." Harri replied.
"All right, what are you two plotting?" Jamie inquired after the door swung shut.
"Nothing Jamie. Lee and I have come to an accommodation and we're both ready to forget Odeja and move on."
"Harrumph. That just means more work for me," Jamie grumbled good naturedly. "Now, how are you feeling Harri?"
"Would you believe I've never felt better in my life?"
The End
* The Mother of Invention
I would like to thank you all for reading my story and a special thanks to those who took the time to let me know what you thought. Aside from being generous payment for my efforts, your feedback let's me know if I'm doing this right and helps me next time around. I also appreciate you allowing me to torture you a bit as I doled out my story a bit at a time. A very special thanks to Angela, who provided the seeds for this story. She was a wealth of ideas and inspiration and will most definitely be missed. - Caribou Kid