CHAPTER FOURTEEN: EVALUATION DAY
At last, the days of work and toil were over.
A loud voice boomed throughout the various speakers set in the Castle that Never Was. "Awaken, miserable peons, and make yourselves present in the Dwelling of the Emperor in approximately ten minutes. Any member not present will be punished." (The Dwelling of the Emperor is Xemnas' ridiculously long and 'poetic' name for his office. And yes, he considers himself an emperor.)
The early morning Sun filtered through the windows of the Castle, although the sky was rather bleak, due to the World that Never Was being at the brink of darkness. The shadow of Kingdom Hearts was still cast over the castle. However, the members of Organization XIII were not happy to be awakened at such an hour by Xemnas' shouting. However, they were rather used to it. But Demyx was already up and about a few hours ago. And so were Roxas and Axel, busy with their little 'presentation' they were about to show Xemnas.
As Axel and Roxas arrived at Xemnas' office, they noticed that Demyx was there first, and what more, he was surrounded by a group of children. Very young children. A drum set, a few guitars, a keyboard and microphones were already set up nearby. Amazingly, Xemnas wasn't there yet. He was probably in his room making the announcement, and of course, he himself would arrive 'fashionably' late.
Lexaeus soon stumbled in, holding a copy of a tabloid with his face on the front cover. The headlines read, "An Interview with an Organization Member: EXCLUSIVE!" Axel cringed at the picture of a smiling Lexaeus on the cover. The Silent Hero himself wore his pajamas, which was a dark brown and made out of an itchy material. He had dark rings under his eyes. A few minutes after Lexaeus arrived, a dark portal opened and out stepped Saïx, the acting second-in-command, despite being of low rank. He had almost the exact personality as Xemnas, except he wasn't as rambly and dramatic. More of a stoic nobody than anything else. But he was a ticking time bomb. Annoy him, and the outcome wouldn't be pretty. Number seven wasn't dressed in his pajamas, and obviously had already showered and eaten his breakfast. He was clad in the Organization coat, which had not a speck of dust on it, and looked perfectly awake and neat. Somehow he always made a respectable entrance and appearance at Organization meetings. However, Axel spied something.
"What's that?"
"Nothing of importance, Axel." The blue-haired nobody answered, twitching. A little blue silk peeked out from under his coat, obviously his pajama pants, with prints of crescent moons on it in yellow silk. Axel frowned.
"You're wearing your pajama pants?"
"Do not speak of this. Apparently, the Organization's new intern had a…problem with doing the laundry. You see…"
-IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM-
"Ooh ee ooh ah ah ching chang wala wala bing bang…"
A figure in the Organization coat sang, scrubbing at the thirteen members' garments with barely a care in the world. Staring at a pair of Larxene's unmentionables, the intern cackled. "Ansem not like underwear colour. Ansem dye underwear greeeen."
-BACK IN XEMNAS' OFFICE-
"Vexen drugged the intern?" Axel repeated in horror.
"Yes, unfortunately. Vexen wanted to test his new drug, one that induces lunacy. So he tested the drug on the intern when he wasn't looking and well, it actually worked, for once." Saïx sighed.
"But why only your pants?"
"It was unfortunate, yes. But Vexen drugged the intern only after the rest of you got your official coats, gloves, pants and boots back. I got my coat, gloves and boots, but apparently, Vexen left my pants in on purpose."
"Why?"
"I called him an old woman and said he had a fruity laugh."
"…"
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Very soon, the rest of the members had made their way to Xemnas' office. Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene and even Zexion were decked out in their pajamas, and most of them had messy, ruffled hair and dark rings under their eyes. Some were still clutching their pillows. Several yawned. None of them seemed to notice Demyx's band of kids and the instruments. Very soon, yet another dark portal appeared and Xemnas stepped out of it, dressed in his infamous zebra coat.
"Now…give me the munny that you've earned, and tell me what you've learnt from doing your jobs. And, based on the reports I've gotten from my reliable sources, I shall evaluate each of you. Those who come out with top marks shall keep some of the overall munny." Xemnas declared. He took the earnings from each member and spread them out on the table. Zexion, being the sneaky one, had kept some for himself.
Then, the dreaded evaluation began.
"Xigbar. You shot your employer, the actors, and the stage crew?!"
"But dude, I didn't want to be a pirate. You wouldn't even let me be on the surfer special."
"Well, that's not good. You didn't even steal any money from the bodies. I'm very disappointed in you, number two."
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"Xaldin. You blew your students out to sea and nearly drowned your employer?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"They deserved it."
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"Vexen. You turned your employer's son into a block of ice?
"He wanted my shield! And he made me wear an ugly maid's costume!"
"But did you get any munny?"
"No."
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"Lexaeus."
The fifth member of the Organization grunted, still reading the tabloid.
"Did they pay you for the interview?"
"No."
"And you killed Miss Star?"
"Yes."
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Xemnas sighed and stopped asking questions. "I'm very, very disappointed in all of you. In fact, I won't even go on asking the rest of you questions. All you did was kill, kill, kill. The only munny I've gotten was from Zexion, Luxord and Marluxia. What happened to the rest of you? Look at these newspaper reports. Minnie Mouse. Killed? I'm not necessarily saying that's a bad thing, but she was going to pay Axel for the fireworks! And Demyx, why do you have a group of children with you? And where did we get such instruments?" The musician paused, thinking. "Well, I was thinking we could cheer you up with a song!"
Before Xemnas or the rest of the Organization could do anything, Demyx signaled to the kids, who quickly took their positions. Soon they began playing a rather upbeat song to which Demyx sang along. "I am really special because there's only one of me! Look at my smile I'm so damn happy that people are jealous of me!" Zexion stared. "The happy song?" he asked, his voice more emo-ish than usual, if 'emo-ish' was even a word. Demyx nodded joyfully and continued singing. "Welcome to my happy world…"
By this time, Axel and Roxas had snagged a chance to project their photographs on the screen in Xemnas' office. The Organization turned to look at the pictures, except for Demyx, who was still jamming with his miniature band. The pictures were both revealing and humiliating. Xigbar, in his pirate outfit. Xaldin, with a crazed smile on his face. Vexen, wearing the maid's outfit. Lexaeus, smashing his client's head. Zexion, hypnotizing his patients. Saïx, wrestling with the lions on national TV. A picture of Minnie Mouse with a chakram embedded in her back. Demyx, running through a portal with a soaked, angry woman behind him. Luxord, transforming his boss into a card. Marluxia, beheading Mr. Doe. And finally, Larxene, electrocuting the fat woman.
"Roxas! You didn't even do your job! You—what's this?!" Xemnas said in horror as he caught sight of the pictures.
"Your 'powerful' Organization members." Roxas vehemently declared.
The other members' faces had turned red with utmost humiliation. Some were glaring at Roxas in fury. Demyx was still singing. Xemnas began to fume. "You all give a bad name to Organization XIII! You disgrace our very title, our notoriety, our—"
"Superior?"
"Yes, Zexion?"
"You haven't been taking on a job yourself."
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A/N: Next, the final chapter! I hope you've enjoyed reading this story, and please do check out my other stories, which I will update after this. A big hug and cookies to all reviewers!