Only for tonight
Cas didn't smile like he usually did when Dean said his name. Instead, he looked torn and broken. Well, he could just join the damn club.
Dean took two steps back. "I don't want you here. You need to leave," he said to him in a surprisingly even voice.
Cas looked at him with hurt eyes. They were a dark blue now and it was clear that there were also tears in them. He used to get butterflies in his stomach when he looked at him but now all he could manage to feel was bee stings in his heart.
"Dean. Please," he begged him as his voice broke.
Dean rolled his eyes at his pathetic attempt and turned back to look at Rufus for backup but the other man was gone now. Now, he looked over at Cas and managed to make his facial expression cold and hard even though he felt anything but.
"No, Cas. I want you to leave. Go to California. Forget about this stupid small town and forget all about me. You had your laughs at my expense. Now go," he attempted to order him while crossing his arms tightly across his chest.
Cas' bottom lip trembled at Deans hurtful words but he deserved it. So he wouldn't let himself feel bad for him. He couldn't.
Cas looked down at the ground with shame. "I'm sorry," he spoke barely above a whisper.
Dean shook his head defiantly. "You know what? Don't be sorry. I'm the one who trusted you. That was my mistake, not yours," he spat bitterly.
He didn't want to listen anymore. He just wanted to go. Maybe he could get a hotel somewhere to avoid Cas until he left for good. He pulled out his car keys from his still damp suit pocket and started to head for his car.
Cas reached out quickly and grabbed onto Deans forearm when he tripped to slip past him. He looked into the wildly desperate blue eyes that were screaming to be heard. "You don't understand," he was practically begging him now.
"What? What don't I understand?!," Dean yelled at him. He could feel his blood boiling and his heart racing at dangerous speeds.
Cas flinched slightly at his outburst then sighed heavily. "You don't understand that I run because I have to. I have to, Dean," he said in a shaky voice.
Dean glared at him coldly but made no effort to get out of his grasp. Cas took that as a sign to explain himself. "I've been running since I was eighteen. I go from place to place so often because I'm scared. Did you know I went to five different colleges before I finally received my degree?," he attempted to explain. One of his hands slipped over to Dean and held onto the lapels of his suit coat.
They stared intensely into each others eyes. Neither one of them making a move for anything further. The air between them was so electric that it was uncomfortable. A loud clap of thunder caused Dean to shiver internally.
He wanted to look up at the sky at the impending storm closing in but Cas' gaze was much too strong to break. He tried to back up as the first rain drop hit his head.
"Why?," he asked over the thunder.
"Why what?," Cas implored as more rain began to fall.
It started picking up and soon they were in the middle of the storm for the second time that night but Dean didn't have it in him to care. He wanted answers. "Why do you run, Cas?," he called over the loud rain.
Cas let go off his suit and arm before stepping back. "I can't get attached. It's not my plan in life. And well, you fucked that up for me. You scare me!," he yelled dramatically with a pained look in his eye.
"And you don't scare me? You give me feelings I didn't even know I had. I thought I was numb to this whole damn world but you came along and became my world! And now you're leaving?," he asked him desperately as every raw emotion he had suppressed for years came pouring out.
Cas pushed his wet hair out of his face. "I have to, Dean! This would never work! You hated me when we first met."
Dean rolled his eyes. "And now I love you. Do you hear me through that thick ass head of yours? I love you, you idiot!," he confessed.
Cas said nothing as he came surging forward desperately. He grabbed the side of Deans face and pulled their lips together. Lightning flashed through the sky as they met each other with such desperation.
He wound his arms around the back of Cas' head and tugged lightly on his hair. Cas licked Deans lips and he let him in. Their tongues met hopelessly as they danced together. Dean backed Cas up into the side of his Impala. He pulled at his hair harder before moving his lips off of his and trailing them down the other mans neck.
The stubble tickled his nose and he was reminded that he had never done this with another man before but it felt right. It felt perfect because it was with Cas.
Cas groaned lowly above him while bucking his hips at him. The rain continued to pour down on them ruthlessly. Dean brought his face back up to Cas' ear and whispered softly, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Cas moaned again and nodded quickly. Dean reached over and pulled the car door open quickly. He let Cas inside first before he slipped inside to the backseat. He closed the door and looked back at Cas heatedly.
Cas brought a soft hand up to his cheek while his chest heaved up and down. "Are you sure you want to do this?," he asked him while staring at him intently.
Dean nodded against his hand. "There's nothing I want more. But can I ask you something?," he whispered.
Cas nodded before leaning back awkwardly. He waited for Dean to speak again.
Dean bit his lip suddenly unsure of himself but found himself speaking anyways. "Do you love me?," he asked quietly.
Cas didn't say anything. The only thing that could be heard was the steady sound of rain hitting the car mixed with their unsteady breaths. Dean felt a sharp sting rush through his heart for the millionth time tonight. He sat up and started to climb into the front seat when a strong hand gripped his arm to stop him.
He looked back at him and held his breath. Cas pulled him back over and placed his hands on the side of his face again. "Of course I love you. You're the only one who has ever called me out on my shit and I'd be an idiot to let you go. I love you, Dean Winchester."
Dean widened his eyes briefly as the sting on his heart drifted away and was replaced with hope. He crashed his lips onto Cas while tugging at his jacket.
Cas allowed him to take it off then did the same for Dean. Dean let go of him and looked at him with heavy lidded eyes as he loosened his tie and slid it off with ease. He unbuttoned his white dress shirt tantalizingly slow.
Cas bit his lip in anticipation then leaned over to help him. He slowly glided Deans damp long sleeved down his equally damp arms. He brought his mouth down to his collar bone and left gentle kisses along it as he licked a sliver from his chest down to his navel.
Dean shivered and watched as Cas unbuckled his pants with nimble fingers and slithered them off of his legs. Next, he palmed at Deans obvious arousal before taking his boxer briefs off as well.
Dean gasped when Cas' warm mouth suddenly engulfed him and began to move agonizingly slow up and down his length. His hand immediately found the dark hair he loved so much. He wrapped his fingers through his curls while throwing his head back in pleasure.
Cas took that as a sign to move faster. He was bringing Dean embarrassingly close already. His tongue was trailing his cock as his lips loosened and tightened whenever he pleased.
"Cas, I don't want to-," he trailed off and squeezed his eyes shut. He was horrified at how well Cas could make him orgasm if he wanted to but damn it if he didn't love it.
Cas popped his head up and gave Dean a devilish smile. His lips were sinful and he couldn't wait to get another taste. Dean sat up more then proceeded to undress Cas with a lot more fever than he did.
He leaned his face into his and kissed on his jaw. He ran his lips from his jaw to his ear and nibbled lightly. Cas shuddered underneath him and he smiled softly. "I don't have a condom or anything," he whispered, feeling a bit ashamed.
Cas chuckled and pushed on Deans chest lightly. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a condom along with a small bottle of lube. Dean raised an eyebrow at him and tried not to laugh.
"Oh, so you just assumed I would be easy tonight?," he asked him playfully with a smirk.
Cas shook his head, his smile unwavering. "Nothing about Dean Winchester is easy. But a guy can dream, right?"
"Then I guess dreams can come true," Dean replied back with a smile to match.
Cas groaned lowly and quickly began to peel off the suit that was sticking uncomfortably to him. Dean watched with hooded eyes as Cas slipped off his shirt then moved to his pants. He slid them seductively off of his legs while flashing Dean another devilish smile.
Dean ignored the way his heart did somersaults at the sight and instead focused on freeing Cas of his confining boxer briefs. He hook his fingers in the waist band and pulled them down slowly, his eyes locked on Cas' the entire time.
When he knew Cas was completely naked, he took the moment to look down and greedily take him in. His heart picked up speed when he saw the considerable size of him. Heat filled his cheeks up but he didn't want to seem like an amateur either so he dropped his head down and did his best to take in all of Cas. He wrapped his lips around Cas' head while swirling his tongue around him. "Fuck, Dean," Cas cursed his name above him while gripping at the hair on the back of his head.
Dean took this as more encouragement and took Cas even further in his mouth with his tongue following suit. He swallowed hard around him and moaned around Cas when he bucked his hips into his mouth.
Cas took his face in both his hands then pulled him off of him. "I want you," he whispered pleadingly.
Dean kissed him heatedly and let Cas gently lay him down on the seats. He closed his eyes and didn't open them even when he heard the pop of the lube top coming off. He had to admit that he opened himself up a time or two but that was in the comfort of his own home and not with another man.
Cas' cold finger found its way to Dean as it swirled slowly at his rim. Dean clenched his jaw and braced himself for the intrusion. Cas gently guided his finger into him.
"Easy, Dean. I got you now. I'll take care of you," Cas whispered softly above him.
Dean nodded then unclenched his jaw and began to slowly relax. He knew Cas wouldn't hurt him but everything still felt so foreign to him. Cas picked up the pace before adding another finger.
Soon, Dean was moaning and withering underneath Cas. Begging him to just take him already. He needed this and he needed him. Cas hushed him softly then added a third finger.
He plunged deeper into him and started to hit his prostate. A rush of electricity shot through him and it was almost enough to make him orgasm on the spot.
"Please, Cas. Please, fuck me," he begged the other man who had complete control over him at the moment.
He opened his eyes and was met with dark blue ones staring down at him. Cas shook his head and Dean felt his heart plummet. Was he changing his mind? Did he not want him now?
Cas leaned over him as he gently pulled his fingers out. Using his other hand, he ran his fingers down Deans face sweetly. "I'm not going to fuck you. I'm going to make love to you," he said matter of factly.
Dean swallowed hard but nodded slowly. He watched nervously as Cas ripped open the condom with his teeth then glide it across his length.
Dean mentally prepared himself to relax and not think too much about it. After all, his wildest dreams were about to come true now.
Cas lined himself up with Dean and ever so slowly began to enter him. Dean expected to feel some kind of pain or even discomfort but he didn't. He mostly felt the sensation of being filled and he loved every single second.
Inch by glorious inch, Cas finally bottomed out. He waited for Dean to fully adjust to him before he started to move. He moved at an excruciatingly slow pace. Dean wrapped his legs around his wait and nearly cried out when Cas already found his sweet spot.
He begged for Cas to pick up the speed and Cas obliged happily. He began to thrust with more want out of him all while continuingly hitting Deans prostate.
Dean gripped the seat tighter and clenched his jaw once more. He had never felt so many sensations in his entire life. It was euphoric. He moaned lowly when he felt heat begin to pool in his lower belly and he knew he wouldn't last a minute longer.
Cas seemed to know what that moan meant because in seconds his hand was gently gripping onto Deans cock and working up and down in time with his thrusts.
Dean arched his back and cried out Cas' name when he finally came. All the tension that had been building up between them was being met and it felt fucking fantastic.
He rode out his post orgasmic haze then opened his eyes in time to see Cas' mouth drop open as he came. Deans name fell out of his mouth more than a few times. Dean rubbed his back gently while a permanent smile played on his lips.
Cas opened his eyes after a few moments. They were wide and fully blown. He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on Deans lips before gently pulling out of him. He took the used condom and tied it up quickly before placing it in a plastic bag Dean had in the backseat.
He helped Dean sit up and kissed him once more. Dean would never get used to the feeling of Cas' lips on his and he didn't want to. He wanted these feelings for the other man to never go away.
Dean found his boxer briefs in the pile of damp clothes then slid them on. He dug through the clothes again before handing Cas his own.
Cas smiled gratefully then put his on as well. Dean leaned over and left a sweet kiss on Cas' cheek. They both said nothing as Dean pulled out a decent sized blanket from behind the seat.
They found a way for both of them to lie together comfortably on the seat with the blanket wrapped perfectly around the two of them. Cas ran his fingers through Deans hair and left another gentle kiss on his forehead.
"I love you," Cas whispered while the rain continued to pound mercilessly on the car.
Dean smiled softly. "I love you, too," he replied back in a whisper.
He wanted to talk about all the events of the night and where their confessed feelings would leave them but for now he was perfectly happy in Cas' arms. There was always tomorrow.