Unexpected Feels

Leah's POV

I came home to an unexpected sound in my living room. Snoring. I switched on the light and Dave was resting on the couch is mouth partially open causing the noise that disrupted my much needed silence. Tonight was emotionally draining and long. I said goodbye to Edward again. The guy just doesn't seem to get what a burden it has been for me knowing him. His very presence causes me to lose all logic and I start to think of the impossible. A shape shifter and a vampire have never and will never live happily ever after, not that I wanted that. I was just confused.

I crossed my arms and looked at my fiancé. What was I doing to him? I liked Dave and in a lot of ways we were alike. The two of us made so much sense on paper but physically whenever I touched him lately I closed my eyes and he became Edward and that scared me. I preferred the touch of a monster, maybe it was because I was a monster too. I quietly snuck past him and crept to my room. I knew he had tried to stay up for me but I really did need time to think or maybe not to think at all. I changed into my pajamas which consisted of gray shorts and an oversized tee shirt. I climbed in bed with the book Denise had recommended. I was just truly getting into it. Anthony was a loveable dirt bag and Layla was a lost complicated soul, both were very easy to love and toxic together. I bundled myself up in my comforter and began chapter five. The more I read the more the book seemed familiar … really familiar.

Layla and Reese, Anthony's daughter were really close. Then I hit chapter six and that's when I knew … this book was about me! I was fuming I wanted to throw the book across the room but the better half of me was curious. So I continued to read. Anthony in drunken state pins Layla to the kitchen sink. I got a front row seat to the inner workings of Edward's mind. He spoke of Beatrice his wife, he described her as someone who was vibrant but his love caused nothing but pain for her. He explained how their love evaporated and yet some of the things "Beatrice" said made you believe she didn't really love Tony … not really. Next, the sex scenes which he remembered a little too vividly. As I read I relieved them both and he added some of his fantasies in for good measure. All this was about me. I was right he was sick he was a monster but the sick part was that I was glad he felt this. I had quickly made my way through to chapter ten and I put the book down.

"This crazy! I may be overanalyzing this it might not even be about me," I whispered to no one. Tonight was just mentally taxing and everything reminds me of him but the book was just so spot on. I also remembered him mentioning something about writing a book. I picked up my phone from the night stand. There was only one way to be sure.

"Leah?" He answered and part of me was giddy, the other part was full of dread.

"Hey." I was trying to figure out how to ask him I decided on bluntness. "So …. Venomous Moon?"

"It's a very good story … I think it's a bestselling series," he muttered but there was a little bit of smugness there enough to let me know I was right.

"You wrote it … why?" I heard him sigh and waited for him the answer the question.

"I needed you … this was the only way I could have you," he confessed. "I needed to know what it would be like if I had chosen correctly Leah … if I had taken the hard road." I picked at the blanket in front of me.

"Well, you still were too easy on Tony … and Layla too for that matter." He sighed and chuckled a bit.

"Really how so?" He inquired playfully.

"I don't think that all would've been forgiven by the end of the first book, I know Denise said his dad forgives him and so does his daughter. I think it would've taken a lot of time for his family's wounds to heal. I know that his mom would've been more resentful and hurt especially since she was so close to his wife. You most definitely let yourself off easy buddy … I mean Tony."

"How much time do you think it would take for everyone to heal?" He asked and I gave it some real thought.

"Years, if they are even able to get past is at all."

"I agree. A guy can dream though. That's all Venomous Moon is … a big dream," he mused somberly.

"That's your fault. Our story could've ended differently but I'm not going down this road," I said quietly. "I've chosen a different path. Dave is actually here."

"So you gave him a key to your place?" Edward annoyance radiated through his tone.

"He is my fiancée he should have it," I snapped.

"Yet you're calling me," he said self-contentedly and he did have me in a pickle. My curiosity had gotten the better of me.

"I shouldn't have. I should go," I started to hang up until I heard him call for me.

"No don't … please," he begged and I had to admit I now understood where he was coming from about the begging. I kind of liked it. I sighed and shifted further into my bed.

"I don't know what else we have to talk about?"

"How far have you gotten into the book?" He asked, I didn't know why it mattered.

"I was about to start chapter ten when I stopped," I mumbled.

"So you didn't get to the part then." He sounded sort of disappointed and now I was curious.

"What part?"

"Nothing it's not a big deal … so are you liking the book so far?"

"Uh, yeah if I take myself out of it … it has everything the typical romance novel should have. All the scenes are very vivid." I didn't want to go into detail about what I liked. I really wished I hadn't realized it was about me at all. I loved the way he wrote Layla. I loved how torn he made her. I didn't know how confused he was about this demon … that's what he called it.

"That's good I'm glad at least I've brought you a little bit of entertainment. My favorite chapter is chapter fourteen. I had a little epiphany when I wrote it. I actually rewrote a total of ten times before moving on. It was hard for me to gauge how a situation like that would play considering it was so unlikely to happen. Anyways, maybe you give me a call once you read it?"

"Okay." I looked over at the clock it was nearing 3:00AM, I needed to go to bed if I was going to be any good tomorrow.

"Okay, well until then Leah," he murmured softly and hung up the phone. He didn't say goodbye but once the call disconnected ended I felt empty and the center of my chest seemed hallow. I lay flat on my back and each breath I took hurt.

"It shouldn't feel this way," I whimpered and one tear made its way to the surface and a million of others followed. "Oh God." I quickly wiped them away and gained composure. I needed get rid of this feeling and focus on what I had. I tiptoed out of my room and looked at the man that since the moment he saw me thought I was something special. If only he knew how damaged I was. I stood there examining him. I wanted to feel it. I wanted all the emotion that Edward conjured up in me to be transferred onto Dave, then I could be normal and live happily ever after. Memories of Dave and I were sweet and some were funny but none made me quiver. None proved to me that our love would last or that our love was truly love in the first place.

I went back to my room and grabbed my book and began to read again. I was on a quest to get to and finish chapter fourteen. I was there in it. Layla had been staying with Tony after the brothers attacked her. She was getting ready to leave him forever now that she was emotionally stable.

"I want you to have a great life Tony. Forget me okay, not because I want you to but because your life was so much better before I stepped foot in it," Layla whispered while she embraced him. He drew her tightly to him so their fronts were flushed.

"Oh Layla, I don't think my life truly started into you awakened me. I feel everything with you … you amplify my life and I love you for it. I love you Layla. I don't want you to go," Tony whispered and he clung to her. "Don't leave me," he begged. "Or better yet we'll run away together."

"You'd come with me," Layla asked with tears in her eyes.

"Of course there's nothing more important than you," he whispered before kissing her fully and freely for the very first time.

I put the book down shocked. It was the first major change he'd made to our story. I personally didn't think it would've been smart for her him to run away with me but it filled me with something warm to know he wanted to. As held the book close to my heart I realized that even though I probably would never be Edward. I should hold out for someone who sort of made me feel this way. I only hoped Dave would understand.

Author's Note: This chapter was really hard to put together. I hope you all liked it. Next chapter will be from Edward's POV